Dragon Laffs #1247


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Good Morning Campers…adult Content2_thumb[1]Well, this morning’s issue is so jammed packed full of stuff that I’m really not sure what to talk about in the opening. 
Hmm…
The Impish Dragon with nothing to say… how odd is that.  I think we should just get on with it and start with the fun stuff and let’s see if I can’t come up with something to talk about as we go…

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Oh my goodness, how true this really is!  Shopping on line in real life….
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/online-shopping-real-life/ 

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DragonPapa1 (144)

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President Obama asked Congress to make it easier for
debt collectors to call people on their cell phones to collect
delinquent student loans. That’s awful. How would he feel if
China kept calling him in the middle of his backswing to ask why he
hasn’t paid them back?

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This is awesome. Watch on full screen. Only takes a few seconds.

Click on link below. Eagle Owl coming in for the kill — right at the camera.
owl animated
Interesting to watch the corrections in the flight path as the bird comes in.

FULL SCREEN IS BEST

http://www.dogwork.com/owfo8/

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Remember Crockett Keller, that fella from Texas who ran the radio ad about not teaching gun basics to Muslims and Obama supporters?  Yeah, I thought you did.  Well, here’s an update. 

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Testimonial
Testimonial

Hello.  My name is, ah, Limpish Drag…er…Lizard…Limpish Lizard and I am here today to talk to you about the wunerful recipe I got from Leprechaun Laffs the otter day.  It was for some sorta cookies..cupcakes…that’s right, it was for Lasagna Cupcakes.  They was easy to make and tasted gooder than my momma makes. And remember, I got the recipe right here, well, not RIGHT here, but here from that other fella…the green guy…Lethal Limerick or … no … Leapin’ Leprechaun … no, that ain’t right neither.  Lethal Limberger…no…

Seriously… these were some of the greatest little treats ever made in the Dragon kitchen.  We made them in both cupcake tins and in the tiny loaf pans.  They were delicious!  Got scooped up fast and disappeared from the kitchen faster than most.  I am, as has been mentioned by Lethal on Wednesday, a lasagna connoisseur.  And I would be proud to put these little devils on my table anytime.

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Hank Williams Jr. apologized for comparing President Obama
to Adolf Hitler Sunday in a Fox News interview. It’s all smoothed
all over now. Within two days, the surviving members of the
Hitler family appeared on German television and accepted
Hank’s apology.

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Friends of the Earth protested outside Congress trying to block
a proposed oil pipeline that begins in Canada and crosses into the U.S.
They made the mistake of calling it a pipeline. They should have
called it a tunnel and the liberals would all be defending it.

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Dogs

Motivational Haircuts

Motivational Has Anyone

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Public Service 1

Daylightsavingstime2

Tonight…well, actually, very early tomorrow morning,Daylightsavingstime3 but I doubt seriously anyone is going to get up special to do this, so … tonight, before you go to bed, remember to set your clocks back one hour.  Yup, you get an extra hour of sleep tonight, to make up for the hour you lost this past spring.  Now, don’t you feel better?  Officially, at 0200 hrs, local time, on Sunday, November 6, 2011, it becomes 0100 hrs.  Unlike the springtime when everyone shows up to work late (when you have to work on Sundays, in the fall, everyone shows up early.  As one who is working this weekend, I’m going to do my very best to get it right and get my extra hour of beauty sleep.  And those of you who know me, know that I really need all the beauty sleep I can get.  lol.
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Pun Queen

I made a mental note, but forgot where I put it.
Many a poet has learned that rhyme doesn’t pay.
 
An unemployed jester is nobody’s fool.
 
The young ping pong player misbehaved, so his father paddled him.
 
Business at the candle factory tapered off after the holidays.
 
although more akin to a groaner (and therefore Zack’s forte) here’s one final one from the Queen
 

After a visit to a house of prostitution a man notices
green lumps on his willy, so he goes to his doctor’s office.
“This is serious.” says the doctor, examining the man’s willy.
“You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears ?”
“Yes” says the man, looking horrified.
“Well,” says the doctor, “You’ve got brothel sprouts.”

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WTF

A couple of articles really caught my attention this week and I revived our WTF? category.  Not for the crazy pictures, but just for the plain crazy…

NYC Woman in Medically-Induced Coma After Struck With Falling Shopping Cart


 

The wealthy Manhattan real-estate agent who was hit by a shopping cart that police say was dropped four stories by two 12-year-olds as she was buying Halloween candy for underprivileged children will “in the best of cases” be in rehabilitation for months, her husband told the New York Post.

The two young suspects were telling jokes and laughing with each other after they were taken into custody, police sources told the newspaper.

“They were just doing it for fun,” one law enforcement source said of the alleged crime.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/11/01/12-year-old-boys-arrested-for-allegedly-dropping-shopping-cart-on-nyc-mother/#ixzz1cjLjo5zW

WTF?  They were doing it for fun?  For fun!  What in the world is happening to our country? Where were these kids parents?  I’m shocked beyond words!  The article, which you should read by following the link ab0ve, goes on to say that the suspects were charged in Juvenile Court with assault.  I’m sorry.  Assault in Juvenile Court should be two bigger kids beating up a smaller one for his lunch money.  This is attempted murder and should be tried in adult court.  It wasn’t a prank gone bad.  It wasn’t an accident.  And they sure as hell don’t feel bad about it if they were telling jokes and laughing after they were taken into custody!!!!!  These are little monsters and should be put away!

And another one was the judge who was video taped back in 2006 I think, beating his 16 year old daughter repeatedly with a belt.  I couldn’t watch the whole video.  My heart was ripped out of my chest.  It’s not discipline when a full grown man uses a full grown man’s strength with a belt on another human being, be they a child (as in this case) or another full grown man.  Here’s the link if you’re interested: http://newsone.com/nation/associatedpress3/judge-william-adams-beating-daughter-video/ (if the link gives you an ad first, click in the upper right hand corner to skip it.)

So many possibilities for this column.  Just read a story about a pair of 14 year olds who were suspended for hugging in the hallway at school.  The Florida school has a strict no-hugging policy because they say they can’t tell the difference between a wanted and unwanted hug.  Really?  These people are teaching our children and they can’t tell the difference between someone who is receiving a welcoming hug and someone who is fighting off an attacker? Geez!

And finally, did you see the video of the gear up landing in Poland? Okay, no Polish jokes now or I’ll have to take offense…there are several good videos here, at this site. http://www.tvn24.pl/0,1722771,0,1,klopoty-boeinga-nad-okeciem,wiadomosc.html  Enjoy!


 

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A team of American scientists just traveled to Russia to search
for the Abominable Snowman. That’s right, a mythical
creature who probably doesn’t exist. Or as Republicans call that,
“a presidential candidate.”

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Socially Unacceptable Humor

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling
my leg.”

I saw a poor old lady fall over oday on the ice!! At least I presume
she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I
should change dentists?

A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You’re in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she
would like to come back as a cow. I said, “You’re obviously not
listening”.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the
worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes
back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I
lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have
curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing
commonly found in cells. It appears that Mexicans is not the correct
answer either.

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in our shopping center, but
I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some of the new
bomber jackets.

A buddy of mine has just told me he’s getting it on with his
girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He
said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”

Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche and mentioned it on
Facebook. I said, “I can’t wait for the new 911 to arrive!” Next
thing I know 4,000 f….g Muslims have added me as a friend!!

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I
said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in
my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular
people-porn, you sick bastard.

The Red Cross have just knocked at our door and asked if we could help
towards the floods in Pakistan. I said we would love to, but our
garden hose only reaches the driveway.

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Today’s Last Word…
comes to us, from of all places, the Washington Post…

The Washington Post
August 18, 2011 Obama: The Affirmative Action President by Matt Patterson (columnist – Washington Post, New York Post, San Francisco Examiner)

Years from now, historians may regard the 2008 election of Barack Obama as an inscrutable and disturbing phenomenon, a baffling breed of mass hysteria akin perhaps to the witch craze of the Middle Ages. How, they will wonder, did a man so devoid of professional accomplishment beguile so many into thinking he could manage the world’s largest economy, direct the world’s most powerful military, execute the world’s most consequential job? 

Imagine a future historian examining Obama’s pre-presidential life: ushered into and through the Ivy League despite unremarkable grades and test scores along the way; a cushy non-job as a “community organizer”; a brief career as a state legislator devoid of legislative achievement (and in fact nearly devoid of his attention, so often did he vote “present”) ; and finally an unaccomplished single term in the United States Senate, the entirety of which was devoted to his presidential ambitions. He left no academic legacy in academia, authored no signature legislation as a legislator.

And then there is the matter of his troubling associations: the white-hating, America-loathing preacher who for decades served as Obama’s “spiritual mentor”; a real-life, actual terrorist who served as Obama’s colleague and political sponsor. It is easy to imagine a future historian looking at it all and asking: how on Earth was such a man elected president? 

Not content to wait for history, the incomparable Norman Podhoretz addressed the question recently in the Wall Street Journal:

To be sure, no white candidate who had close associations with an outspoken hater of America like Jeremiah Wright and an unrepentant terrorist like Bill Ayers, would have lasted a single day. But because Mr. Obama was black, and therefore entitled in the eyes of liberaldom to have hung out with protesters against various American injustices, even if they were a bit extreme, he was given a pass.

Let that sink in: Obama was given a pass — held to a lower standard — because of the color of his skin. Podhoretz continues: 

And in any case, what did such ancient history matter when he was also so articulate and elegant and (as he himself had said) “non-threatening,” all of which gave him a fighting chance to become the first black president and thereby to lay the curse of racism to rest? 

Podhoretz puts his finger, I think, on the animating pulse of the Obama phenomenon — affirmative action. Not in the legal sense, of course. But certainly in the motivating sentiment behind all affirmative action laws and regulations, which are designed primarily to make white people, and especially white liberals, feel good about themselves.

Unfortunately, minorities often suffer so that whites can pat themselves on the back. Liberals routinely admit minorities to schools for which they are not qualified, yet take no responsibility for the inevitable poor performance and high drop-out rates which follow. Liberals don’t care if these minority students fail; liberals aren’t around to witness the emotional devastation and deflated self esteem resulting from the racist policy that is affirmative action. Yes, racist. 

Holding someone to a separate standard merely because of the color of his skin — that’s affirmative action in a nutshell, and if that isn’t racism, then nothing is. And that is what America did to Obama. 

True, Obama himself was never troubled by his lack of achievements, but why would he be? As many have noted, Obama was told he was good enough for Columbia despite undistinguished grades at Occidental; he was told he was good enough for the US Senate despite a mediocre record in Illinois; he was told he was good enough to be president despite no record at all in the Senate. All his life, every step of the way, Obama was told he was good enough for the next step, in spite of ample evidence to the contrary. What could this breed if not the sort of empty narcissism on display every time Obama speaks?

In 2008, many who agreed that he lacked executive qualifications nonetheless raved about Obama’s oratory skills, intellect, and cool character. Those people — conservatives included — ought now to be deeply embarrassed. The man thinks and speaks in the hoariest of clichés, and that’s when he has his teleprompter in front of him; when the prompter is absent he can barely think or speak at all. Not one original idea has ever issued from his mouth — it’s all warmed-over Marxism of the kind that has failed over and over again for 100 years.

And what about his character? Obama is constantly blaming anything and everything else for his troubles. Bush did it; it was bad luck; I inherited this mess. It is embarrassing to see a president so willing to advertise his own powerlessness, so comfortable with his own incompetence. But really, what were we to expect? The man has never been responsible for anything, so how do we expect him to act responsibly? 

In short: our president is a small and small-minded man, with neither the temperament nor the intellect to handle his job. When you understand that, and only when you understand that, will the current erosion of liberty and prosperity make sense. It could not have gone otherwise with such a man in the Oval Office.

It does put it in quite the context.

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14 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1247

  1. Sorry, but I’m laying odds that the Leprechaun didn’t call at the crack of dusk, or 0200, or 0500 because he was either sleeping himself or making entries in his rebuttal journal.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      First of all Impish your ego is REALLY crying out for a diet if you think that after running this leather upholstered Mens Room of a blog for 12 hours a day plus 8 hours on Saturday while simultaneously dealing with your whines and the legal repercussions of your antics I’d really spend my free time standing outside your bloody bedroom window freezing my little green arse off all soddin night in the middle of “Insert Septic Truck’s Hose Here” Indiana!

      My guess is that was No-name our ex Head of Security that you gave No-notice to when you shut this place down a while back. Word has it he’s looking to sever something off you in place of the Severance package he never got for being a key employee.

      Then again there ARE those half dozen assorted REALLY nasty things you played pranks on on Halloween while we were using Harry Potter’s cloak to check up on our some of our readers Halloween antics. Wouldn’t surprise me if some of them wanted revenge, particularly the ones that lost their candy to you.

      Angelia I don’t have a rebuttal journal, never have and never felt the need for one. Its all off the cuff snap shots. Lastly in the event I ever DO feel the need for one as I AM getting a bit on in my years, well there is an app for that now.

  2. impishdragon says:

    I have a responsibility for full disclosure, especially after my good friend apologized so aptly for his Veteran’s Day issue faux pas. So, I’m going to tell on myself…
    After reminding everyone yesterday on setting your clocks back and getting an extra hours sleep, who do you think it was who forgot and missed out on that extra hour….
    any guesses?
    I’m so ashamed….

    But, I’m sure, without a shadow of a doubt that it is that Leprechaun’s fault…I just have to figure out how.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Yup its all on me after having to remind you about posting it in the issue in the first place, I didn’t call you last night before you retired at the crack of dusk and remind you for fix you clock.

      Then I didn’t call you at @2 AM on your house phone cause your cell was in the other room and wake your whole house to ask if you had done it and I certainly didn’t call you at 5 AM waking you to tell you to go back to sleep for another hour as I was already heavily invested in exactly such a thing myself.

      Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa

      For those of you non Roman Catholics those that don’t speak :Latin and/or cannot remember a Latin mass, its a a profession of sin thing: Mea culpa is a Latin phrase that translates into English as “my mistake” or “my fault”. To emphasize the message, the adjective “maxima” may be inserted, resulting in “mea maxima culpa,” which would translate as “my most [grievous] fault.”

  3. enhancer of spam whos spam site is the same as the other 3 strange names posted today and is not fooling anyone says:

    Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Appreciate it

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Derrick Warcraft Enhancer w/e you call yourself I would not help you get listed on Yahoo News for all the gold in Ft Knox. I’d sooner give up blogging , smash my computers and swear off the internet for eternity than help a single spammer in the least possible manner. May you suffer an embarrassing debilitating and slowly terminal STD and may every computer you ever own be permanently infected with every virus and malware known to to come along.

      DIe Spammer Die!

  4. derrick says:

    Hey there just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different browsers and both show the same outcome.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      REF THROWS BULLSHIT FLAG ON THE COMMENT AND WHISTLES IT DEAD. DEFENDING TEAM GETS TO BE FREELY ABUSIVE OF THE BULLSHITTER.

      Well Derrick- Warcraft -Enhancer w/e you call yourself you whiny-azzed computer clueless dimwitted spamming jackass, my initial suspicion is that if you didn’t have so many damned bots running at one time looking for places to defile with your spam they might all load the first time. The only “heads up” you are involved in is yours being up your ass for thinking we cannot see through your multiple spam attempts camouflaged in BS!

      For anyone else who has this problem, I too occasionally have it, especially when we publish really large or graphics intense issues. I find that either refreshing the page or rebooting because my computer has been on too long and I’ve been doing too many things so badly written programs have not released all the memory they grabbed usually solves this problem.

  5. warcraft says:

    Hi there, You have done a fantastic job. I will definitely digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this website.

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Well Derrick- Warcraft -Enhancer w/e you call your schizophrenic multiple personality self we really prefer you didn’t suggest us to your” friends” (actually we feel sorry for you having to refer to your spam bots as friends. It must be a pathetic existence for you living in your parents cellar and spamming to make enough money to live off Ramen noodles, Dorettos and Energy Drinks. We’re betting you call the female in the photo that came in that Dollar Store picture frame your girlfriend too right?) The LAST thing we need here is anymore of your spamming kind cluttering up the place.

      Why don’t you go take a nap on some active high speed railroad tracks somewhere?

  6. Wow! As always Lethal – covering the bases. I do wish I were better at rebuttals. You and Impish are phenomenal with them.

    Impish, excellent issue. And, in regards to feeling sick over the heavy-handed-belt-brandishing judge taking liberties with his daughter with his 16-year-od daughter, who also has cerebral palsy … my sentiments were the same as yours. It was infuriating, and I was even MORE infuriated with that scumbag- imbecile-disgrace- to-the-entire-female-sex-of-a-wife he had. She is even more disgusting than the judge, and he’s so low on my opinion shelf that I can’t even come up with a word that accurately depicts my negative opinion of him.

    As for Obama, he hasn’t been the only village idiot in this politico mix … he’s had help, from both the rights and the lefts in both the senate and the house. And sadly, it ultimately reflects on “We The People” because “We The People” at large, elected him, and them.

  7. lethalleprechaun says:

    You the collections camel gets their nose in the tent door Don do you REALLY think they are going to be happy until they have full unfettered access to call and harass you on your cellphone regardless of where and when? I had to get rid of my landline because they were calling me over someone who stayed in my home for 6 months 5 years ago.

    They violated basically every rule governing collections packed an attitude from the moment you said hello swore at me called 14 times in a single day in a 3 hour period and threatened to call the Property Management Company here at the apartment complex and tell them I was a dead beat PLUS ding my credit score if I did not deliver their messages to the person they wanted.

    It took me nearly 2 months to file a complaint against these people. They denied it and it was dropped I had to refile with sworn statements and a notarized call log from my phone prepared by my attorney at my expense. I STILL have heard noting back and to my knowledge they are still in business in Florida suffered no ill effects for violating 5 different laws minimum and attempting to blackmail me into doing their job.

    BTW it turned out that the “debit” in question was a short term payday loan which HAD been repaid and ON TIME.( this all took place AFTER the individual was gone from my home for over 2 years but used mew/o my knowledge or permission as a personal reference and a past address) There was some sort of negative notation in the company’s system because the individual in question would not answer their “courtesy” calls on his cellphone while he was at work reminding him to come in and pay the loan because his employer forbade cellphone calls if not on break. This for some unexplained caused his file to be sent not ONCE but FOUR separate times to credit collections agencies! I had asked after the 1st time I got called by the loan company of BOTH him AND the loan company that my name be removed from the records as it was used with out my permission. Each time he had to take 1/2 a day off and straighten this out despite having done nothing wrong and was assured the matter was laid to rest and that my personal information had been removed from the record. So far this individual has been unable to get any satisfaction out of the company and legal recourse crawls at a snails pace.

    Collection companies need MORE policing and restrictions not less! You want to collect defaulted student loans? Fine GREAT idea, but have the government do it themselves, snap up their Income Tax refunds, freeze assets, levee bank accounts, garnish wages. Have the rabid money hungry IRS chase it down for the government, they have all the necessary information of these individuals already all they require is a list of target to rake over their already banks coals and apply their legal and financial torture devices to.

    Better yet here’s a way to prevent this from becoming an issue in the future. Require public service to repay the loans until they are paid off or have a stipulation THAT ALL wages will be garnished starting 1 year after graduation from all sources and any Income Tax refund withheld until loans are paid off.

  8. Don Schindler says:

    Re collecting student loans…you’d probably blame the President if he didn’t try to collect the loans too..see below for reason
    The change “is expected to provide substantial increases in collections, particularly as an increasing share of households no longer have landlines and rely instead on cellphones,” the administration wrote recently. The little-noticed recommendation would apply only to cases in which money is owed the government, and is tucked into the mammoth $3 trillion deficit-reduction plan the president submitted to Congress.

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