Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers.  What a week.  Unbelievable stuff going on.  Two brothers with Muslim ties set off bombs at the Boston Marathon, one is dead, the other is still (as of Friday night) on the run, a letter with ricin sent to a member of congress, Margaret Thatcher died (and the White House couldn’t be bothered to send anyone?!) a huge explosion in Texas, and a huge portion of Indiana, where I live, is under a state of emergency due to flooding, ridiculous amounts of rain, wind gusts of 50 mph and now they are talking snow…are you kidding me?! SNOW!  Oh come on!  Really?  What in the world have we done to end up here?

Although Lethal and I have come up with some really outstanding ideas about how to take care of some of these problems (I’ll give you a hint: some of the best ideas concern internment camps in Northern Alaska) but none of which we can honestly suggest and maintain our political correctness.

Okay, I can hear you asking, since when are we concerned with political correctness?  Well, we’re really not, but it’s nicer to say that than it is to say that neither of us want to be arrested and put in jail for the removal of human rights to any particular protected group of persons.  Even if it WOULD solve so many problems.

Just heard on the news that the creek that runs near to us (and remember, that a creek in Indiana, is equivalent to a river in other places) is at 15.3 feet.  Just to put that in perspective, flood stage is 10 feet.  So, we are 5.3 feet ABOVE flood stage…and the water is still rising.  Oh Dear!  How about a quick picture: 

You know, I look at that picture and I don’t think, aww, how horrible that is.  I know I should, but I don’t.  What I think is, why the hell didn’t you move your car out of the parking lot and onto higher ground?  But, maybe that’s just me.

We REALLY need to laugh.  Laugh long and hard.  I honestly think it’s the only thing that will help hide the tears.

Wong Chow calls into work and says, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work..

The boss says, You know something, Wong Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work.. You try that.

Two hours later Wong Chow calls again. I do what you say and I feel great… I be at work soon….. You got nice house.

 

 

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life.

After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?”

Murphy said, “I got to be honest wid ya Father, a while back, I misplaced me hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass & figured he would leave it in da back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.”

The priest said, “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?”

Murphy replied, “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.”

With a tear in his eye the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said; “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in hell, eh ?”

Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou
Shalt Not Commit Adultery,’ I remembered where I left me hat.”

Before you start this video, please go grab a box of tissues.  If you have a child or friend or child’s friend or anyone in your life who is autistic, you NEED to watch this video.  This story is truly incredible!

Oh, quit your whining!  If you can’t view this video, it’s because you’re reading this in your email.  Click on this link: http://dragonlaffs.com or here   and you can watch this video, rate the e-zine, see any other videos, leave a comment, read the comments, ALL kinds of stuff!  Now quit complaining and just go to the website like you’re supposed to!

I had a really good video to show you today, but Lethal called dibs on it, so you are going to have to wait for Wednesday to see it from him.  It’s very fair the way we do things, if one of us thinks that both of us might want to use something, whoever calls dibs first gets it.  But, in return, he send me another video, which you guys are really gonna love, too:

Well, after that one, we just have to watch this one… Sweet Caroline at Yankee Stadium on 16 Apr 13 to honor the victims of the Boston Marathon bombings.  Classy gesture by the Yankees and
Yankee fans.  Stand strong East Coast.

So, not being a Boston or Yankee fan, I had to ask, “Why did the Yankees play Sweet Caroline?”  And the answer… well, you might think that it had something to do with someone’s wife, daughter, granddaughter or something to that effect.  But nope, In reality, the song got its start at Fenway Park thanks to Amy Tobey, who was the ballpark’s music director from 1998 to 2004. She was responsible for choosing the music to be played between innings and picked Sweet Caroline simply because she had heard it played at other sporting events.

At first, Tobey played the song at random games sometime between the seventh and ninth innings, and only if the Red Sox were ahead. Tobey considered the song a good luck charm and it soon became something the fans anticipated.

But it wasn’t until 2002, when John Henry’s group bought the Red Sox, that Sweet Caroline become an official Fenway tradition. That’s when the new ownership requested that Tobey play the song during the eighth inning of every game. And there you have it!

A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen!

“I’m sorry Mr. Sam,” said the mortician, “but I can’t send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity.”

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man’s distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

“I have something to show you that you won’t believe,” he said, and opened his briefcase.

“Oh, my God!” she screamed, “Sam is dead!”

 

How about some really bad puns.  All I have to say is….

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

No kidding.  None of us are going to argue with that!!

Scroll down for the answer…

It’s 5 to 4, bottom of the fifth, one out and nobody on.

More really good advice!

Well, today’s Last Word is going to be a tiny bit different.  You’ve seen my bit called “Toys I Used To Play With”? Well, think of this as “Toys I Play With Now”.
I’ve had several people who know what I do for a living asking after the congressman who had ricin delivered to him in a letter and asked if it was anything like the anthrax letters?
The answer to that is … well… yes and no.
Anthrax is a living organism.  It’s a biological agent.  Ricin is a chemical agent, a poison, made from the castor bean.  All those times your mom made you drink castor oil…she wasn’t trying to help you, she was trying to get rid of you.
No, I’m only kidding!
Ricin is found in the mash left over from the processing of the castor bean into castor oil.
The CDC has a great Fact Sheet on Ricin…

What ricin is

• Ricin is a poison found naturally in castor beans. If castor beans are chewed and swallowed, the released ricin can cause injury.  Ricin can be made from the waste material left over from processing castor beans.
• It can be in the form of a powder, a mist, or a pellet, or it can be dissolved in water or weak acid.
• It is a stable substance under normal conditions, but can be inactivated by heat above 80 degrees centigrade (176 degrees Fahrenheit).

Where ricin is found and how it is used

• Castor beans are processed throughout the world to make castor oil. Ricin is part of the waste “mash” produced when castor oil is made.
• Ricin has been used experimentally in medicine to kill cancer cells.

How you could be exposed to ricin

• It would take a deliberate act to make ricin and use it to poison people. Unintentional exposure to ricin is highly unlikely, except through the ingestion of castor beans.
• If made into a partially purified material or refined into a terrorist or warfare agent, ricin could be used to expose people through the air, food, or water.
• In 1978, Georgi Markov, a Bulgarian writer and journalist who was living in London, died after he was attacked by a man with an umbrella. The umbrella had been rigged to inject a poison ricin pellet under Markov’s skin.
• In the 1940s the U.S. military experimented with using ricin as a possible warfare agent. In some reports ricin has possibly been used as a warfare agent in the 1980s in Iraq and more recently by terrorist organizations.
• Ricin poisoning is not contagious. Ricin-associated illness cannot be spread from person to person through casual contact. However, if you come into contact with someone who has ricin on their body or clothes, you could become exposed to it.

How ricin works

• Ricin works by getting inside the cells of a person’s body and preventing the cells from making the proteins they need. Without the proteins, cells die. Eventually this is harmful to the whole body, and death may occur.
• Effects of ricin poisoning depend on whether ricin was inhaled, ingested, or injected.

Signs and symptoms of ricin exposure

• The major symptoms of ricin poisoning depend on the route of exposure and the dose received, though many organs may be affected in severe cases.
• Initial symptoms of ricin poisoning by inhalation may occur as early as 4- 8 hours and as  late as 24 hours after exposure. Following ingestion of ricin, initial symptoms typically occur in less than 10 hours.
• Inhalation: Within a few hours of inhaling significant amounts of ricin, the likely symptoms would be respiratory distress (difficulty breathing), fever, cough, nausea, and tightness in the chest. Heavy sweating may follow as well as fluid building up in the lungs (pulmonary edema). This would make breathing even more difficult, and the skin might turn blue. Excess fluid in the lungs would be diagnosed by x-ray or by listening to the chest with a stethoscope. Finally, low blood pressure and respiratory failure may occur, leading to death. In cases of known exposure to ricin, people having respiratory symptoms should seek medical care.
• Ingestion: If someone swallows a significant amount of ricin, he or she would likely develop vomiting and diarrhea that may become bloody. Severe dehydration may be the result, followed by low blood pressure. Other signs or symptoms may include seizures, and blood in the urine. Within several days, the person’s liver, spleen, and kidneys might stop working, and the person could die.
• Skin and eye exposure: Ricin is unlikely to be absorbed through normal skin. Contact with ricin powders or products may cause redness and pain of the skin and the eyes. However, if you touch ricin that is on your skin and then eat food with your hands or put your hands in your mouth, you may ingest some.
• Death from ricin poisoning could take place within 36 to 72 hours of exposure, depending on the route of exposure (inhalation, ingestion, or injection) and the dose received.

For the rest of the Fact Sheet and further information about this chemical go here:
http://www.bt.cdc.gov/agent/ricin/facts.asp
For information on many different chemical, biological, or radiological hazards, I strongly recommend going to the CDC website and do a little exploring.  You can get there by going here:
http://www.bt.cdc.gov/

And with that, shall we call it a day?  I’m at work again this weekend, but I truly hope that you are all well and happy.  Be well, be safe and keep laughing until we meet again.

Welcome to another edition of Dragon Laffs – Funnies Only!  I hope you enjoy it as much as you seemed to enjoy the last issue.  How about we start with a handful of Demotivational Posters.  I just love these things!

I really like that last one.  I’m seriously considering making a larger print of it, framing it and hanging it from the outside of my front door.
Okay, so moving on, how about a couple of talking animals…

*&!?#@ Dragons in the kitchen?  Dragons don’t go to the kitchen, they go to the dining room.  They can’t FIT in the kitchen!

And to round it all out, let’s go with some plain old funnies

Okay, so this next one made me laugh so hard, I just had to share it!

Baby Gargamel?

Well, if nothing else, I’d say that was some really good advice.

 

 

Damn Barista! Way to scare me awake! Well played!

 

Job interview:

“What’s your greatest weakness?”

“Honesty.”

“I don’t think honesty is a weakness.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

To say nothing of Connecticut’s draconianly restrictive gun laws.

 

 

 

This is one of the cleverest E-mails I’ve received in a while.
Someone out there must be “deadly” at Scrabble.
Wait till you see the last one!

It’s going to be  hard to top because it fits to a “T”

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES – LET’S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z ‘S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I’M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

AND FINALLY….

FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

When you rearrange the letters:

STRUGGLING INCOMPETENT LIAR

 

A young man with his pants hanging half off his backside, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, “Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter said “Your timing is excellent. We Just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his 2012 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.”
“Because of The long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say But you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20’s and has a rather strong sex drive.”

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well… You started it.” . ….

Awarded to Ron Paul for the following thoughtless shameful & asinine social media comment:

We find there to be insufficient spin the the UNIVERSE sir to ever portray this foot in mouth comment in a positive light.

We here at DL/LL Electronic Media Enterprises have only this to say to you (aside from the obvious we shall never vote for you now):

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack.
His family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like hours, the ER doctor appeared wearing his scrubs and a long face.  Sadly he said, “I’m afraid Grandpa is brain dead, but his heart is still beating.”

“Oh dear God” cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock. “We’ve never had a Democrat in the family before.”

By the time the government is through, I suspect we will all be criminals.  He has got to be stopped with this takeover of our lives.  Read the comments after the article, many of them are quite good. Go ahead its ok I’ll wait.

Now Obama targets your FedEx, UPS packages

Shipper warns move ‘has potential to threaten privacy of all customers’

The Obama administration is demanding the nation’s two biggest shipping companies police the contents of Americans’ sealed packages, and a FedEx spokesman is warning that the move “has the potential to threaten the privacy of all customers that send or receive packages.”

See the article here: http://www.wnd.com/2013/03/now-big-brother-targets-your-fedex-ups-packages/

Just like Soviet Russia., the government would have everyone spying on and informing on everyone else they come in contact with to them. Nothing like getting those you want to oppress to help you do it to themselves!

Judge fines self over cellphone

District judge in Michigan holds himself in contempt of court

Published On: Apr 15 2013 09:43:39 AM CDT

Too often it seems that the rules do not apply to those in power either they craft them so that they are not subject to them (Congress) or think that they are above them (papers are full of these instances). So when someone who has made the rules breaks the rules and hangs himself for it I think they deserve special mention and an atta-boy for their example.

A judge in Michigan held himself to the law, fining himself after his cellphone went off in court.

District Judge Raymond Voet has a strict policy against cellphones, stating that any electronic device causing a disturbance in court will result in a fine and contempt of court citation, the Sentinel-Standard of Iona reported.

During closing arguments in a domestic violence trial last Friday, Voet’s touchscreen smartphone began asking him for voice commands from his shirt pocket.

“I’m guessing I bumped it. It started talking really loud, saying ‘I can’t understand you. Say something like Mom,'” Voet told the Sentinel-Standard. “My face got as red as a beet.”

During the next recess, Voet held himself in contempt of court and paid $25 for the infraction, according to MLive.com.

“Judges are humans,” he told MLive.com. “They’re not above the rules. I broke the rule and I have to live by it.

Michigan District Judge Raymond Voet we here at DL/LL Enterprises applaud your admirable ethics and standards. You are hereby awarded one:

 

Inmate, 84, accused of trying to kill prosecutor

Posted:  04/15/2013 2:16 PM http://mobile.chron.com/chron/db_310883/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=nqFZiRCY&pn=0&full=true#display

CONROE, Texas (AP) — An 84-year-old woman jailed on a theft charge allegedly tried to hire a hit man to kill the Houston-area prosecutor handling her case and to maim his boss, one of the apparent targets said Monday.

Montgomery County District Attorney Brett Ligon said Dorothy Canfield allegedly sought to have him attacked and his assistant district attorney, Rob Freyer, slain. Neither man was injured in the alleged plot, which investigators said surfaced in early April.

Canfield faces charges of solicitation of capital murder and solicitation to commit aggravated assault on a public servant, Ligon said. Authorities allege Canfield told other jail inmates of her plans to seek someone to kill Freyer and attack Ligon.

She was being held in jail in Conroe, about 30 miles north of Houston, on a property theft charge. Bond was set at $500,000 in the theft case. Canfield’s attorney on the theft case did not immediately return a phone call seeking comment.

Canfield allegedly wanted the attacks to appear similar to the recent unsolved killings of two other Texas prosecutors, Kaufman County District Attorney Mike McLelland and Assistant District Attorney Mark Hasse, according to Ligon. McLelland and his wife were found dead in their homes on March 28, about two months after Hasse was fatally shot outside the local courthouse.

An undercover law enforcement agent posed as a hit man and visited Canfield in jail earlier this month, according to investigators. She allegedly suggested throwing investigators off her trail by making the alleged hits on the Montgomery County prosecutors appear to be linked to the Kaufman County slayings.

Canfield’s theft case involves allegations that she posted as an immigration attorney to bilk clients. Canfield is not a lawyer, Ligon said.

The solicitation charges announced Monday by Ligon were not immediately listed in online court records, though investigators were expected to release more information later Monday.

The deaths of the Kaufman County prosecutors were among several recent high-profile law enforcement killings, including the shooting earlier this month of a southern West Virginia sheriff and the March slaying of Colorado’s prison chief.

That’s one MEAN and NASTY Grandma! I’ll bet if a Rattler bite her the snake would die!

 

The Truth about “Assault Weapons”

 

Now with that clearly definitive lesson on what is and is NOT an “Assault Weapon” in mind we have to ask ourselves the following question:

Why does Obama fear an armed citizenry?

Joseph Farah pits president’s actions against words of our founders 04/08/2013

Barack Obama recently made some extraordinary statements about gun ownership that need a thorough refutation.

Not only did Obama misrepresent the very reason the Bill of Rights includes a specific protection of the unalienable right to bear arms, he also misrepresented his own personal position, which is clearly for the ban of most firearms currently owned by Americans.

Here’s what he said in Colorado last week: “The opponents of some of these common-sense laws have ginned up fears among responsible gun owners that have nothing to do with what’s being proposed, nothing to do with the facts, but feeds into this suspicion about government. You hear some of these quotes:

‘I need a gun to protect myself from the government.’

‘We can’t do background checks because the government’s going to come take my guns away.’

 

“The government’s us,” Obama continued. “These officials are elected by you. They are elected by you, I am elected by you. I am constrained as they are constrained by a system that our founders put in place. This is a government of and by and for the people. So surely we can have a debate that’s not based on the notion somehow that your elected representatives are trying to do something to you other than potentially prevent another group of families from grieving the way the families of Aurora or Newtown or Columbine have grieved. We’ve got to get past some of the rhetoric that gets perpetuated that breaks down trust and is so over the top that it just shuts down all discussion. And it’s important for all of us when we hear that talk to say ‘hold on a second.’ If there are any folks out there right now who are gun owners and you’ve been hearing that someone is taking away your guns, get the facts! We’re not proposing a gun registration system. We’re proposing background checks for criminals. Don’t just listen to what some advocates or folks who have an interest in this are saying. Look at the actual legislation. That’s what happened here in Colorado. And hopefully if we know the facts and we’re listening to each other, then we can actually move forward.”

Obama makes light of the argument that free citizens have a right and duty to be armed and vigilant to protect their liberty – including from government. But, it’s not some crazy idea. It is exactly what the men who drafted and ratified the Second Amendment believed.

James Madison wrote in the Federalist Papers: “Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with arms.”

Thomas Jefferson wrote in a proposal for the Virginia Constitution: “No Free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms.”

Again, James Madison wrote in support of the Second Amendment: “The right of the people to keep and bear … arms shall not be infringed. A well regulated militia, composed of the body of the people, trained to arms, is the best and most natural defense of a free country. …”

George Mason said: “… to disarm the people – that was the best and most effectual way to enslave them.”

Noah Webster wrote: “Before a standing army can rule, the people must be disarmed; as they are in almost every kingdom of Europe. The supreme power in America cannot enforce unjust laws by the sword; because the whole body of the people are armed, and constitute a force superior to any bands of regular troops that can be, on any pretense, raised in the United States.”

Alexander Hamilton wrote in the Federalist Papers: “… but if circumstances should at any time oblige the government to form an army of any magnitude, that army can never be formidable to the liberties of the people, while there is a large body of citizens, little if at all inferior to them in discipline and use of arms, who stand ready to defend their rights. …”

Samuel Adams said: “The Constitution shall never be construed … to prevent the people of the United States who are peaceable citizens from keeping their own arms.”

Richard Henry Lee, the initiator of the Declaration of Independence and a member of the Senate that passed the Bill of Rights, wrote: “To preserve liberty, it is essential that the whole body of people always possess arms, and be taught alike especially when young, how to use them.”

Again, Alexander Hamilton wrote in the Federalist Papers: “The best we can hope for concerning the people at large is that they be properly armed.”

Again, Thomas Jefferson wrote in a letter quoted frequently by leftists of the 1960s and 1970s: “And what country can preserve its liberties, if its rulers are not warned from time to time that this people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. … The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time, with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”

Patrick Henry said: “Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.”

The intent of the founders couldn’t be clearer. In fact, I defy any proponent of further federal firearms restrictions to find even a single quote from a single founder to support their attacks on the Constitution. They can’t do it. Yet the record of support for the protection of firearms ownership by these men would fill volumes.

Obama argues that he is not supportive of gun bans. But the record is equally clear he is – and always has been.

In 1996, while still in Chicago, Obama supported a ban on handguns. In 1998, he supported a ban on all semiautomatic guns, which represent the vast majority of firearms currently owned by citizens in the U.S. In 2004, he advocated banning gun sales within five miles of a school or park (essentially a ban on virtually all gun stores). He served on the board of directors of the Joyce Foundation, the largest private funder of research seeking ways to ban gun ownership in the U.S.

When Obama ran for the Illinois state Senate, he was asked by Independent Voters of Illinois if he supported a “ban [on] the manufacture, sale and possession of handguns.” He responded “Yes.” Later, when he ran for president, he flatly denied making the statement and attributed it to a staffer from his Senate race. The problem for Obama is that the questionnaire includes his own handwritten notes to at least one answer. Another questionnaire provided by Illinois State Legislative National Political Awareness Test in 1998 found that Obama wanted to “ban the sale or transfer of all forms of semi-automatic weapons.”

He is also on record in opposition to current laws in 48 states permitting citizens to carry concealed handguns for protection. About concealed carry laws, Obama said, “I think that creates a potential atmosphere where more innocent people could (get shot during) altercations.” Of course, the statistics prove just the opposite.

But the Obama record gets worse.

In March 2004, the Illinois Senate passed Senate Bill 2165, a law with provisions designed to assert a right of citizens to protect themselves against home invasions so that self-defense requirements would take precedence over local ordinances against handgun possession. The measure passed the Illinois Senate by a vote of 38-20. Barack Obama was one of the 20 state senators voting against the measure.

Then Gov. Rod Blagojevich vetoed the bill. On Nov. 9, 2004, the Illinois Senate voted 40-18 to override Blagojevich’s veto. Again, Obama acted against the override.

It’s fair to conclude, with Obama in January issuing 23 executive actions with gun-control provisions, that he not only hates private ownership of most, if not all, firearms, but he is obsessed with imposing restrictions. { http://www.forbes.com/sites/rickungar/2013/01/16/here-are-the-23-executive-orders-on-gun-safety-signed-today-by-the-president/}

More to the point, just do a reality check for a moment: Does anyone genuinely have any doubt that Obama would like to impose draconian gun control regulations on Americans? Will anyone seriously try to defend such a claim?

Again, Obama has a historical pattern of taking strong anti-gun positions, only to attempt later to obscure them. His website once said there were only two reasons for private gun ownership: “Hunting and target shooting.” Later the website was scrubbed when it became an embarrassment and a politically inexpedient and indefensible position.

Why does Obama speak out of both sides of his mouth on the gun issue? In 2008, Democrat pollster Mark Penn explained the doublespeak: “The formula for Democrats is to say that they support the Second Amendment, but that they want tough laws that close loopholes. This is something (Democrats) can run on and win on.”

In other words, don’t pay attention so much to what Obama says, watch what he does. What he says changes with the political winds. What he does has not changed through his political life.

Okay, I’m really tired of fighting colors for this blog.  For some reason, no matter what color I use or what font I use, it ends up changing itself to Calibri and black.  So, that’s what I’m going to use from now on.  Calibri and black.  Hopefully, you’ll be able to tell my words from the jokes and such because I am going to try and put mine in italics and see if THAT doesn’t stay put the way I want it to.

Anyway, I’m starting something that will be easy for me and hopefully fun for you.  I have SO MANY cartoons and funnies saved up, that I think I’m going to intersperse my normal Saturday posts with some posts that are just for fun…and maybe that will allow me some time to be a little more serious with my Saturday stuff.  So, without further ado, let’s try it out!

 

Nice plan mom!  I hope it works out for you!

I have days like this all the time!!!

Everybody has one of these.  You know you do!  Yes, you do!  I actually have several of these, both at home and at work!

You know…there’s a great deal of logic in that cartoon…

Okay, so a fast 16 funny smile for your day.  I hope you thought it was worth it.  I would love to hear from you guys to let me know if this is something you’d like to see more of or not.  You can leave a comment, vote with the stars at the top of this post, send me a personal email at impishdragon@yahoo.com or use the bat signal (please replace the silhouette of batman with that of a dragon… or a dragon with the universal red circle with a line through it, if you don’t want to see anymore of these.)  At any rate, it should be a good laugh for you, relatively easy for me, and a way to dwindle down the, at the exact moment, 743 cartoons and funnies that I have in my files waiting to be used.  You guys have a great day!