Leprechaun’s Harvey Update 2–Aug 27th 2017

Harvey Update

Update # 2: 27 Aug 2017 @ 5:00PM

Afternoon folks. Going to try and keep this one short as I’m sure you’ve all been watching the news.  I know that the national news as one person Molly talked with said “Has all of Texas Gulf Coast dying from Harvey”. While there have been only 3 fatalities that I am aware of so far.  I think as usual they are sensationalizing, over hyping the situation for ratings sake. While there are of a certainty places that are flooded and very bad not all of Houston is that way…yet anyway. We were just told we could expect up to another 15 to 20” of rain by Friday before all this is over.

In the last 24 hours as of this posting we have received an additional 15.4” of rain. If you add that to what we’ve already received that’s about 19 to 20” total to date and its currently still raining.

Most of the heavy stuff occurs at night largely due to atmospherics and the sun’s heating the air. Once it starts cooling off what has gone up into the air from the Gulf must come back down. Overnight we had numerous Flash Flood Warnings and extensions plus several Tornado Warning. Fortunately none of the Tornado Warnings were near us but when you’re barely sleeping as it is and the NWS alerts go off on your phone 2 and 3 times an hour it makes an already long night even longer.

We are still dry, safe & secure.  So far, we’ve lost no services of any kind. Honestly there has been surprisingly little loss of power associated with Harvey for a storm of its type, magnitude and size.

We’ve had a couple heavy bands and T-storms push through today, from 10 AM – 12 PM we got 2.68” of rain alone.  I have in the last couple hours begun to notice a change, minor ponding in a couple places.  As the ground becomes heavily saturated it cannot drain the heavy rain fast enough so we have some small low laying areas that have formed small puddles.  If we continue to get enough breaks and lulls these shouldn’t be an issue.

The Houston area 911 system has been overwhelmed.  We are being advised to shelter in place even if we have water in our home (we don’t as of now).  Our evacuation options have been cut down to one route (the one we’d be taking anyway). Even that we’ll have to keep an eye on as Cypress Creek which crosses I-45, our evacuation route is 5.5’ above flood stage and forecasted to go higher yet.

Molly will be working from home at least tomorrow for sure as most of her coworkers who live near where she works are reporting a lot of flooding and in one case even 1 small tornado touching down near them.  I understand that the street leading to her place as well as it’s parking lot frequently flood but apparently the building does not.

All in all we continue to be very lucky with Harvey. Thank You all for your thoughts prayers and well wishes.  I will try to continue the 1 a day updates when/if/as I am able as we are still experiencing some quite understandable Internet issues intermittently.

On a side note in closing: I can report that we, or at least I for sure, am getting notices once again when you post comments for approval.  LOL, of course now I can’t see them in our blog control panel unless I go there via each individual email.

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Leprechaun’s Harvey Update 1 Aug 26th 2017

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For what we are about to receive may we be truly thankful. – Old Naval Prayer.

Update 1:  25 Aug 2017 15:15 hrs.

Despite coming ashore as a Cat 4 hurricane in the area it made landfall, Rockport Texas between Port Aransas and Port O’Connor close to 10 PM last night to date there has been only a single death attributed to Harvey.

So far we’ve managed well. The heavy stuff started last night between 7 and 8 PM. Early on we had about a 2 minute period where we we’re worried about loosing power but that coincided with some strange noises outside not far away so I think the rain and wind drove a tree branch down into the power lines until it burnt through it.

While it rained more or less all night we had some breaks in between the heavier bands which I think helped us a lot. We did have one reported lighting event that was only 0.2 miles away according to my local weather app but that was it aside from some thunder.

Currently we are safe, dry and secure. All our services are still on and functioning well, though we are having some minor issues with our internet service, but that is to be expected from past experiences.

The wind has not been bad as yet for us though there are some reports as yet unconfirmed by the NWS of several tornados having touched down over night, again well South and East of us.  While we have a little minor debris on the ground, its not really any worse than the aftermath of a bad T-storm. We did get quite a bit of rain, around 5 inches of it. Currently we are in sort of a lull period that started somewhere around 11 Am where the majority of rain is South and West of us.

As of about 1 PM CST Harvey was downgraded to a Tropical Storm which is good news. The bad news is that it has slowed to from a turtle’s speed of 10 mph to a snails pace of 2 mph and is currently as of writing this in fact stationary about 60 mile E-SE of San Antonio. We are under a Tornado Watch until 2 AM Sunday and I expect that will likely be extended as the last one was extended and modified into the current one.

As we just received a Tornado Warning Alert in conjunction with the T-storm cell which is due to arrive shortly. I’m going to post this and shut things down here just in case.

I’ll post again if/when I can as things develop.

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Dragon Laffs #1555

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As you enter the normal campground where Impish usually does his Saturday thing, you notice the stage is bare, with a curtain across the back, covering a large video monitor.  As you take your seat, Ginny and Diaman come out from off stage left and right and draw back the curtains.  The monitor comes to life and there is Impish sitting in a relatively straight backed chair facing the camera.

Good Morning Campers,

I have to state first and foremost, right up front and center, in the beginning without any preamble, with no pause or…

Come on fat boy, get on with it!

Um… yeah …. ah ….. damn it!  Now I lost my place!  I have to state first and foremost, right up front and …

The sound of a gun shot rings out!

Hey!  That was too close.  That must’ve been one of you Marines out there!  Get that close without actually hitting me or anything else of value.  Now look.  I’m just trying to say thanks to all of you well-wishers who’ve sent comments via the blog, sent me emails and text messages and even a couple of phone calls, but as you can imagine, the phone calls are the hardest with trying to recover.  I spend a lot of time napping on and off and you are just as likely to catch me awake at 3 am as you are at 3 pm.

But thank you.  It means so very, very much to me.

Well, let’s get you all caught up. 

Last Saturday-you got my last issue prior to my surgery.  It was a busy day.  My last work day for a while, so there was a lot to do to make sure that o matter how long I was gone, there was going to be an office to come back to and all that goes along with preparing for taking several months off work.  I taught my last CBRN Defense Survival Skills Class for a little while and set everything up so that I can work from home as soon as my doctor releases me for home-work (“telework” is what they call it in the Air Force) which Should be after about 2 weeks post surgery.

Sunday-was a day of relaxing and getting things ready around the house.  Yeah, the relaxing part didn’t go over very well, and …I guess I’m as ready as I’m going to be.

Monday-showed up at the hospital about 0615 hrs.  I had some paperwork and such to fill out, they gave me some really cool looking clothes to wear, with this awesome silver heat hat to wear.  Made me look like I had a jiffy pop popcorn container on my head.jiffy pop
jiffy-pop-2-o

 

 

 

Then they wheeled me down the hall, which seemed to happen much too quickly, they got me positioned on the cutting board operating table and the anesthesiologist gave me oxygen and told me to take deep breaths, so I did.  Once my blood oxygen level was up to 100% He said I was going to take a little nap and that I would get a little metallic taste in my mouth and my arm that had the IV in it would start to get cold.

I’ve always been very intrigued with that time, that micro-second when you know you are going unconscious and you suddenly flip from being awake to being asleep.  No matter how hard you try, you are going to sleep.  Well, of course I had to try this time, too, so just as I started to feel my arm start to get cold I thought, “here it g……” and I woke up in the recovery room four hours later. 

I found out later that my surgeon had come out right after the surgery and talked to Mary, Mrs. Dragon, and told her that everything went fine,but it was a hard surgery.  I have a lot of arthritis and have very tight hips, so I’ll ask him when I see him at my first post-op appointment on the 5th of September.

They had me up and walking that afternoon, which I think is a bit much, but they seem to know what it is they are doing.

Tuesday-They had me up and walking again in the morning (where’s all this rest and relaxation that everyone tells me I’m supposed to get?) And then sent me home in the early afternoon.  Just a bit more than 24 hours after I got out of the operating room.

Well, that leads us to Wednesday and my first Physical Therapy appointment.  That was pretty easy.  The PT Lady gave me some home exercises t do, which I have been doing just like I’m supposed to. 

That brings us to today, Thursday. where I had my second physical therapy appointment and graduated to a cane.  I’m not using the walker anymore and everyone is astounded at the progress I’m making.  Well, everyone that is except Mary, who says she wouldn’t expect anything less.  She knows me too well.

So, now that I’m caught up, let’s laugh for a bit and as the next couple of days go through my fingers, onto the keyboard, I’ll let you know what else is happening in the world of Impish of the Borg!

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How to make a simple Soda Bottle Humane Mousetrap (that actually works!)  This is actually a pretty cool idea using a little bit of physics and some bits and bobs you have lying around the house.

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Ten things you didn’t know about a deck of cards…

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As the camera draws back from Impish, you can now see in the background the workings of, what appears to be, a real “Star Trek Style” bridge occupied by Borg crew members.

I have to say that I’m quite pleased with the way today’s header turned out.  It all stems from a comment made by my bestest bud, Lethal Leprechaun in a text message where I had made a personal comment that we don’t need to go into here and he replied:
Good!  Very happy to hear it…Impish of Borg. Open-mouthed smile
Nice!
$6K Dragon? (HMO wouldn’t pay more for your upgrades.  Went with lowest bidder)
Yeah.  I like Impish of The Borg better.

So, just a little tiny bit of insight into the actual workings of our company’s inner sanctum.  I hope you enjoyed it.  Trust me.  It gets a lot scarier than that!

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A couple of years ago, I was asked to arbitrate when our usual judge/arbitrator had to have some time off.  Some sort of breakdown is all I was told at the time, but after working with these two guys to try and come up with a solution to their problem, I understand EXACTLY what kind of a breakdown it was.  I am proud to say that I did come up with an equitable solution to almost all parties involved, but I figured you can’t please all the people all the time.  I am kind of surprised the Courts system never did invite me back for more substitution work.

Okay so … moving on….oh!  I’m sorry, is there a question in the back?

What kind of a solution did I work out?  Well, it was a very complex situation involving property that both men believed they held a very strong title to.  Ginny and Diaman, why are you whispering and shaking your heads?  I’m going to tell it the way it …

…yes I will.

…yes – I – will.

Okay, so…I’m sorry, you in the back, as to your question, “what kind of a solution did I work out? Anyway, as I was saying.  It was a complex situation involving something that both men deemed they owned.  A lovely work of art that was the pride of the county.  My first two solutions were turned down.  One, that they share it, switching back and forth every week or month or however they decided.  They said that they had tried that and whomever had possession of it when it came time to switch, didn’t want to give it up.  It has some magical properties that makes the owner want to keep it.  So, my second solution was reminiscent of King Solomon and I offered to split the painting in half giving each of them half the painting.  They were BOTH against that one and I must admit, I didn’t care for that solution myself since it would not only lose it’s magical properties, some of which were quite potent, but could, in the act of cutting it in half, let loose all that magic with quite a physical reaction.

So, in the end, I enacted the only viable solution left available.  I ate the two men.  Which was quite satisfactory to me and the townspeople who were happy to have a finish to the endless squabbling.

Where is the painting now? 

Well, it’s hanging in my office.  They didn’t need it any longer and my modest fee had never been paid, so….

Diaman and Ginny?  Why are you still shaking your head?

Well, I certainly thought it was a satisfactory solution!

It just goes to show you that no matter how hard you try, you can’t please everyone.

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To my children:
Never make fun of having to help me with computer stuff.  I had to teach you how to use a spoon!

 

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Vegetarians live up to 9 years longer than meat-eaters.  Nine horrible, worthless, baconless years!

 

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Another of our role-playing game nights.  I’ll let you try to figure out who everyone is.

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It’s the bar they walked into!  It’s not only the wrong type, it’s way too low!

Yes, I know I’m overstating the obvious.  No more gun shots from you guys!

So, let’s move on to another fascinating video.  This one is really neat.

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It doesn’t matter what species they are, kids just don’t listen!

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This is quite interesting and answers a question that I had about why some of my emojis from my phone (samsung) didn’t translate correctly to Mrs. Dragon’s phone (iphone)

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And since we’re doing the hell out of videos today, how about this amazing guy!

A union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a TRUMP tee shirt, and two beers in front of him.

He does not have to be an Einstein, to know that this guy is a Republican.

So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, “Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican.”

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him then says, “Thank you!” in an equally loud voice.  This infuriates the union boss.

The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican.  As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican.  He continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union boss once again, loudly orders drinks for, everyone except the Republican.

As before, this STILL doesn’t seem to bother the Republican who continues to smile, and again yells, “Thank you!”

The union boss asks the bartender, “What the hell is the matter, with that Republican?  I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does, is smile and thanks me. Is he nuts?”

“Nope,” replies the bartender, “he owns the place.”

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Well, I have a lot more I’d love to share with you, but I’m not sure this monster of an issue is going to upload as it is now.

So, let me just say that I deeply appreciate all of you and You’ll get more updates from me over the next couple of weeks.

Cheers!

Impish

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Leprechaun Laughs Late Breaking News Edition

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Lethal here with a couple late breaking bulletins.

Our Top Story:

The Blue One himself, Impish Dragon is home and has been since late Tuesday. I barely spoke with him via text on Tuesday and not at all yesterday. This was part of the reason for the delay in updating you.

I was also heavily involved and tied up and couldn’t spend the time for personal things until now. However this was sort of a stroke of good fortune as I spoke via text with Impish, (or as he now apparently prefers to be known Impish of Borg) late this afternoon.

He has already been to his first Physical Therapy appointment and graduated from (guessing) walker to a cane. He’s still quite fatigued and in some pain but according to him is ahead of his recovery schedule at this point.

In a Related Story:

Some of you posted well wishes to Impish prior to his trip in the comments section that were delayed in being approved. This is a new wrinkle with WordPress that I have as yet had time to run down. We used to receive emails notifying us when there were comments to approve. Suddenly this has stopped and we didn’t have a clue about it until I spotted a bunch waiting for approval on Monday while checking to make sure yesterdays issue was going to post correctly. As soon as I have the time of Impish feels up to it we will attempt to locate the problem and see if we can correct it. Mean while we ask your understanding and indulgence if it takes us a while to approve your comment.

Finally Tonight:

While  I am not in the direct path of soon to be Hurricane Harvey I am on the dirty side of the storm. This means I won’t suffer the high winds and the high rainfall vs. short time period totals of being the the path but I will receive a great deal of rain.

How much? Well latest estimates put it at some place between 10 and 15 inches measured from the start late tomorrow (Friday) until sometime next Wednesday. Apparently once the slow moving storm is on shore it’s going to hook a right and come our way as a Tropical Storm.

According the the Weather Guessers ,as long as we get the rain in spaced out measure quantities there will be flooding but it should be minimal and controllable (they hope). IF we get a lot all at once over a short period or even over the course of a day, there will be problems. I expect to lose my U-verse service at some point and possibly my power as well. Also if we get a lot of rain obviously we have a chance for road and/or apartment flooding and even the possibility if the near by bayou floods enough of a mandatory evacuation.

What this means at this point is next weeks issue (which I have yet to even start) is somewhat of a crap shoot unless I can dash one out tomorrow (also a crap shoot).

However as I understand it you will be hearing from the Blue One himself on Saturday. Exactly where he will be addressing you from I am unsure of. Might be Dr. Nick’s Infirmary here at DL/LL H.Q., possible from a newly designed for his recovery and physical therapy suite at the Hokey Pokey Recovery Center, heck for all I know Impish of Borg may well address you from a Borg Cube, Sphere or even Unimatrix 001 with the Borg Queen looking over his shoulder. Fair warning– he has been mumbling something about “Resistance to Puns is futile.”

And that’s the way it is Thursday August 24th 2017. Good Night Readers.

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Leprechaun Laughs # 406 for August 23rd 2017

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Well I don’t see any of you wearing excessively dark glasses and carrying with canes with red tips, so I’m going to assume your Eclipse viewing went well. If you missed it (like me who totally forgot about it due to other more pressing problems), take heart I understand there will be another one in 2024 viewable from the US. Provided of course any of us live that long.

OK I’m sure you’re all wondering about Impish and his surgery. I received a brief text from him round about the time of the Eclipse saying he was back in his room, still quite groggy but that all had gone well and he was fine. I told him to rest and take it easy and that I would text/talk with him on Tuesday. Since I’m uploading this on Monday afternoon, obviously this hasn’t occurred as yet. I will attempt a brief update post later on when I have significant information/news to share if I don’t have one before the issue actually post.

It’s my understanding that he will be making his regular Saturday issue posting, most likely from our medical facility where he will be under the dubious care of Dr. Nick for his immediate recovery.

In the mean while…

 

Blackbird

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When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor. (actually it was Paramedic but hey)

So I took the entrance exam to go to medical school.

One of the questions asked us to rearrange the letters

PNEIS into the name of an important human body part

which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered spine are doctors today.

“The rest of us are sending jokes via email!”

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With all the Heat Advisories and High UV Index warnings we’ve been getting of late, this might not be too far off the mark. Just how bad could it possibly be you ask? See for yourself!:

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Even our dogs are melting!

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PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS… [curtsey of Diamen]

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.   He  acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.  The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11 Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other: You stay here; I’ll go on a head.

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron.  The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

       No pun in ten did.

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I think the way things are going for me I might have to up the dosage soon too.

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Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

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ITS A BOY” I shouted “A BOY, I DON’T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY”. And with tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit another Thai Brothel!

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Wife gets naked and asks hubby, ‘What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?’Hubby looks her up and down and replies, ‘Your sense of humor!’

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The wife’s back on the warpath again.

She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

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I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or “foreplay” as she likes to call it.

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Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year. This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese…

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A Correct Anthropological-Chronological History

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1. Liberals. 2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly

BBQ’s and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the

Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women.

Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many Liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are Liberals … Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the Liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history. It should be noted that a

Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss off more liberals…

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self. I’m going to have another beer.

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Another one of those weird motorcycle riding outfit  photos. I wonder if it’s a Japanese motorcycle?

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Sorry but when I first saw the above picture this old joke (among other things) immediately popped into my head:

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville , WA .

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.

In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.

She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?” He smiled and then told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a “recreational area” so close to a waste treatment facility.

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Ninja Kitty Stealth Infiltration 101

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Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference, coincidentally held in his home town. He walked on stage and placed his papers on the lectern, but they slid off onto the floor. As he bent over to retrieve them, at precisely the wrong instant, he inadvertently farted.

The microphone amplified his mistake resoundingly through the room and reverberated it down the hall.

He was quite embarrassed but somehow regained his composure just enough to deliver his paper. He ignored the resounding applause and raced out the stage door, never to be seen in his home town again.

Decades later, when his elderly mother was ill, he returned to visit her. He reserved a hotel room under the name of Levy and arrived under cover of darkness.

The desk clerk asked him, “Is this your first visit to our city, Mr. Levy?”

Dr. Epstein replied, “Well, young man, no, it isn’t. I grew up here and received my education here, but then I moved away.”

“Why haven’t you visited?” asked the desk clerk.

“Actually, I did visit once, many years ago, but an embarrassing thing happened and since then I’ve been too ashamed to return.”

The clerk consoled him. “Sir, while I don’t have your life experience, one thing I have learned is that often what seems embarrassing to me isn’t even remembered by others. I bet that’s true of your incident too.”

Dr. Epstein replied, “Son, I doubt that’s the case with my incident.”

“Was it a long time ago?”

“Yes, many years.”

The clerk asked, “Was it before or after the Epstein Fart?”

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