Leprechaun Laughs # 376 for Wednesday Jan 25th 2017

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Welcome folks! Come on in grab a cuppa joe, a nice fresh still warm scone and a seat. Don’t mind that moaning you’re hearing DL/LL HQ isn’t haunted. That’s just a certain dragon bemoaning the loss of the Packers and the win by the Patriots.

He’s so upset that he actually admitted to me that I was right all along about the Patriots to avoid giving me the opportunity to doing an I-told-you-so on him.

Now some people who were tricked into locking themselves back in their bolt hole for another day so that certain other people could attempt to talk football smack without fear of pipe dream shattering logic and statistics being brought into the mix might take this as an golden opportunity to rub that sneaky conniving dragon’s it in the face of that sneak. However I will attempt to take the high road here and not do such a thing… OH LIKE BLOODY HELL I WILL!

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With the Pat’s having 9 Super Bowls (4 wins) under their belts to the Falcon’s paltry 2 appearances ( COUGH! 0 wins)I’m pretty sure the results are a forgone conclusion. However lets not depend on my opinion lets get the line from the odds makers shall we?

The Patriots are a 3 point favorite. Current betting odds are 3:2 for Pats & 5:2 for the Ravens .

 

AHEM!… Moving right along, Texas weather has been it’s usual unpredictable self, just when you think there will be absolutely no winter the skies open, the heavens rumble, the winds blow and the temperatures plummet ah…err, that is dip semi considerably. Sunday night got down to the high 40s after expecting to be blown clear to Kansas most to the day, while Tuesday saw us in the 80s (while those of you in New England celebrated the Patriot’s win with a Nor’easter). Later towards the weekend we’ll struggle to get out the low 50s. Ah well regardless it beats the bloody hell out of shoveling, blowing, plowing, scraping and sanding!

TEam USa Lets Roll

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OK a little update. You’ll probably recall (dimly) that I got a bag of this for Cmas from Molly. Well I finally had the guts to open and try it last Saturday. (I needed SOMETHING to wake me up since there wasn’t going to be any DragonLaffs until Sunday.)

Well not only is it the world’s strongest coffee, it’s also to world’s bitterest! Seriously! Once it was done brewing I poured a bit into a tea cup and blew on it until it was cool enough to taste and evaluate. I made it according to the brewing instructions on the bag in a clean pot with bottled water. It was extremely acrid by itself. I had made 8 cups in my 12 cup pot because that’s what the directions called for. I microwaved another 2 cups of bottled water and added that to the carafe swished it around and tried again, this time with 1 packet of artificial sweetener to a 6 oz. cup (normally I use 1  pkt. to a 14 oz. mug) it was still extremely bitter.

Finally I had to use 2 pkts. of sweetener in my 14 oz. mug plus a good dollop of Half & Half to make it drinkable but far from seriously enjoyable. It reminds me of the time I was out of coffee and had to use Espresso grind to make a pot.  I have added 8 oz. of the grounds to the 32 oz. current batch of Brown Gold being sure to incorporate it well. This has added a stronger bottom note and a bit of acidity but I cannot say for sure that I noticed any serious increase in my energy clarity or anything else post consumption of the entire pot of straight Death Wish. So it’s not something I plan on adding to my Brown Gold recipe permanently.

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It’s post Inauguration and yet the Liberals are still whining crying and pitching a hissy about Trump. Even their Witch in Chief Hillary “Broomstick’ Clinton has had the good taste to STFU and accept it- at least for 4 years. For the rest of you who can’t seem to bring yourself to follow her example I have this gift to help you get over it and accept it.

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BTW- For those of you saying “Trump is not my President” I have some disturbing news. The Electoral College made it official when they cast their ballots and  the Chief Justice has sworn him in. he IS the President of the United States of America. If you are an American citizen then he IS your president, like him/it or not.

Still maintaining he’s not? Fine please renounce your citizenship and transport yourself to the nearest border. In short, get out. You don’t deserve to be here. Oh and please drag those whiney Hollyweirdos that made the pledge to leave the country if Trump won with you. Be sure to take Rosie O’Donnell and all of The View with you as well.

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And if you’re a Liberal and don’t live though 8 years of Trump, well rest in the comfort of knowing you helped make America great again by not surviving his Presidency.

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During the course of writing the issue for this week I received an email asking if since the Super Bowl was in my hometown and my Pats were playing if that meant I would be attending the game at NRG Stadium.

No.

Way.

In Hell.

With the match-up set, average ticket prices for the game edged slightly higher, up to $5,216 on Monday, according to a price tracker kept by ticket marketplace SeatGeek.

Not only that but everyone I know will be avoiding the Downtown area like it was filled with plague infected Liberals ah err…I meant to say Zombies. Traffic will be basically gridlock 24/7  from about Wednesday on. Every place to eat and shop will be packed to the maximum allowed by the Fire Marshal with lines out the door. Parking will be impossible and/or astronomically expensive. Lines to get in will be hours long and security is going to be extremely heavy.

Me, I’ll just lay back in my recliner, watch the Puppy Bowl with Molly and grab the occasional update. I’ll eat and drink better and for way cheaper too. And when all is said and done and I’m done celebrating the Patriots win my commute to my rack will be all of 3 minutes long and that includes dropping my dirty dish in the sink, detouring around cats and stopping to a little bladder relief all on the way.

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“Signs” song by Five Man Electrical Band

 

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If you ask Alexa (Molly got one for Christmas and I drive her nuts by asking Alexa questions like this) she’ll tell you-  “Some say the meaning of life is ‘42.’”

 

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Why You Don’t Send Your Seniors to Summer Camp

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Click on photo and wait for movement.

Well folks I had intended to include a bit more but time constraints primarily due to wonky internet access (My area has suffered repeated intermittent service outages of at least an hour duration for the last 24 hours) dictate that I get this up while I can so we don’t have any more complaints about delayed issues.

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Dragon Laffs #1523

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Campers

So, it’s now President Trump.  How great is that?  I feel like I’ve been holding my breath and I just now let it go.  Like a huge weight has been lifted from my chest.

I really can’t think of anything else to say right now…I’m just giddy with excitement.  I can’t wait to see what he does first.

Okay, so now I sound like I’m gushing.  It’s time to

Let's Laugh

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How about some “Just not real important information”?

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on the right side of your mouth.
 
If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on the left side of your mouth.
 
To make half a kilo of honey, bees must collect nectar from over 2 million individual flowers
 
Heroin is the brand name of morphine once marketed by ‘Bayer’.
 
Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!
 
People in nudist colonies play volleyball more than any other sport .
 
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel in 1952, but he declined.
 
Astronauts can’t belch – there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in their stomachs.
 
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. In the Renaissance era, it was fashion to shave them off!
 
Because of the speed at which Earth moves around the Sun, it is impossible for a solar eclipse to last more than 7 minutes and 58 seconds.
 
The night of January 20 is “Saint Agnes’s Eve”, which is regarded as a time when a young woman dreams of her future husband.
 
Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros .
 
It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
 
Gold is the only metal that doesn’t rust, even if it’s buried in the ground for thousands of years .
 
Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end .
 
If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
 
Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-related diseases.
 
Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals
 
Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
 
The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.
 
Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent
 
Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn’t smoke unless it’s heated above 450F
 
The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
 
Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean
 
The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man
 
Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density
 
The University of Alaska spans four time zones
 
The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
 
In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
 
Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.
 
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
 
A comet’s tail always points away from the sun
 
The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent
 
Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.
 
The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
 
If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.
 
When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight
 
In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed 
 
Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside
 

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams
 
The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year
 
The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust
 
Due to earth’s gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters
 
Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy
 
Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down
 
Everything weighs one percent less at the equator
 
For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off
 
The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

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That’s because back then, that’s all you had to play with.

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Dragon Pix

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Playing dragon tag.

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One  Liners
 1. I say no to alcohol, It just doesn’t listen.
 2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
 3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
4. Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.
5. When everything is coming in your way, You’re in the wrong lane.
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..
7. Born free, Taxed to death.
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, Some just don’t have film..
9. Life is unsure; Always eat your dessert first.
10. Smile, It makes people wonder what you are thinking.
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, You’ll have trouble putting on your pants.
12. It’s not hard to meet expenses, They are everywhere.
13. I love being a writer… What I can’t stand is the paperwork.
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, Why are there phone bills?
18. If you cannot change your mind, Are you sure you have one?
19. Beat the 5 O’clock rush, Leave work at noon!
20. If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.
21. It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.
22. I couldn’t repair your brakes, So, I made your horn louder!
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass.
24. The cigarette does the smoking, You are just the sucker.
25. Someday is not a day of the week.
26. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human; to forgive is not company policy.
28. The road to success…. Is  always under construction.
29. Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, But, if you think again, neither does milk.
30. In order to get a loan, You first need to prove that you don’t need it.
And my favorites …
31. All the desirable things in life are illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.
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Fantasy

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Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude,  the captain announced:   
  
“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain.  Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York. The weather ahead  is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back,  relax, and . . .OH MY GOD!”* 
  
Silence followed. 
  
Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. “Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!” 
  
From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled . . . ” For the luvva  Jaysus . . . you should see the back of mine!”   

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Okay, so this one is great, sent in by my dad.

The next time you get a bit cranky and things don’t seem to be going quite the right way, think about this guy:
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I just gotta say…damn!

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So, my buddy wheats and I were talking on text the other day and he came up with a GREAT idea for a new section in Dragon Laffs.  He thought that …. well …. here’s the conversation as it happened:
WHEATS:  Lee Merriweather is on Star Trek.  (Did I mention that Wheats is a HUGE Star Trek fan?) Losira — “I am for you, James T. Krik.” She touches you and you die.

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WHEATS:  She was yummy.
WHEATS:  14
IMPISH: No kidding (very loquacious, right?)
WHEATS:  Original Catwoman in the 1966 Batman movie.
IMPISH: Yes she was (Yes, she was Catwoman or Yes, she was yummy?  Even I don’t know what the hell I was talking about)
WHEATS: Maybe in DL you could do a “hot wimmins of 60’s TV”
WHEATS: Barbara Feldon, Barbara Bain, Barbara Eden
WHEATS: And so many more
IMPISH: No doubt.  That would be cool. (Okay, so that was almost a coherent sentence)
WHEATS: Julie Newmar, Yvonne Craig, Elizabeth Montgomery
WHEATS: Eva Gabor
WHEATS: Marta Kristen (Judy Robinson)
Well, he shot names at me so fast, I couldn’t even reply, but because of him and that conversation, may I present…
WimminsLeeLee Merriweather was in The Time Tunnel (1966-1967), Batman (1966-1968), Mission Impossible (1966-1973) and many, many others that don’t fall into our category of 1960’s and TV.

 

FeldonBarbara Feldon was best known for her role as Agent 99 in Get Smart (1965-1970)

 

BainBarbara Bain was mostly known for her role in Mission Impossible, but I really enjoyed her in Space: 1999 even though it was in the 70’s.  Looking back at Space: 1999 I am amazingly disappointed in what we don’t have in the way of space travel and technology.

EdenBarbara Eden everybody knows from that fantastic costume in I dream of Jeannie.  She had many, many other roles, even to include a movie with Elvis (Flaming Star from 1960), but we will always remember her as Jeannie.

So, that’s a good start.  Let us know if there are other Hot Wimmins you’d like to see

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Why yes!  Yes it should be.

Well, I’m out of time, so that’s it for today.  Be well, be safe, be happy.

Cheers Impish

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

We are experiencing difficulties beyond our control…

Dear Campers,

I am going to apologize and tell you that Dragon Laffs is going to be delayed by 24 hours.  Thank you for your kind understanding. 

Impish Dragon 

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs #375 for Wednesday January 18th 2017

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It all started last Saturday when I raised the periscope cam from my Friday the 13th bolt hole. When I saw things looked normal I opened communications with my best bud and (formerly) trusted pal Impish and queried “Is it safe?”

In response I got a  suddenly cut off by a death rattle blood curdling scream from him. I dropped the periscope cam and cut communications immediately resetting the time lock on the bolt hole for another 24 hours, hoping all the while I would be able to locate enough of my buddy to give him a decent BBQing…err that is Viking funeral.

Then I find out ol’ Mister Smart Tail played a fast one on me so he could have a shot with getting away with talking football smack. With the Indianapolis Colts already well on their way to the glue and dog food factories he had to fall back on his back up Greenbay team whom Mr. Murphy seeing a chance for serious comic relief had given a shot at the play offs this year. Well I smacked his snout pretty hard (or so I thought at the time) in the comments section with facts and figures proving Greenbay had a snowball’s chances in Hell of making it to the Superbowl much less actually (barely stifled giggle) winning it.

Then come Sunday in a last 18 second miracle Greenbay beat the Cowboys to elevate Impish’s already made of cheese brain to extreme levels of Cheese headedness. Now he’ll be insufferable until either the Ravens peck Greenbay’s eyes out next Sunday or until the Patriots send them home sobbing from Houston on February 5th to go back to their off season meat packing jobs.

All that not being bad enough, Monday morning I had a rare weekday shot at sleeping in a bit. Since due to my legs and the associated pain I often don’t sleep well or uninterruptedly through the night this was a welcome event since I usually make it to the weekend with a serious sleep deficit or wind up having to take brief naps during the week to get through the day. So I was really looking forward to sleeping in until 8:30 or possibly a decadent 9:00 AM.

Well Mr. Murphy had an answer to that too. Tornado Warnings. Starting at 7:15 and lasting until 8:45 with a special warning for a funnel cloud that was a scant 5 to 7 miles North of me but moving East to West (to my knowledge it never actually touched down).

So as I grumpily stared into my Brown Gold while munching my multigrain English muffin and veggie cream cheese I mused about what other possibly unpleasant surprises the year might have in store. If recent events were any indication on a personal level forewarned would be forearmed and a definite good idea.

So I turned to the King of Prognostication of (vaguely worded) Possibility Pronouncements himself, Michel de Nostredame, AKA Nostradamus.

We’ll hear more from him later in the issue.

Mean time….

Skate

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imageMichel de Nostredame, AKA Nostradamus, was a French physician and astrologer who lived in the 16th century. Many conspiracy theorists believe, he’s predicted a lot of things; including the French Revolution, Adolf Hitler’s rise to power, 9/11 and even Trump’s election win.

His “prophecies”, are written in four-line verses and are extremely vague, so are very much open to interpretation especially after the fact – anyway *Tin foil hats on* here are some of the predictions he made for 2017:

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“For forty years the rainbow will not be seen. For forty years it will be seen every day. The dry earth will grow more parched, and there will be great floods when it is seen.”

So here he’s predicting both floods and drought which is covering all the bases. But his believers think this is a sign that global warming will lead to crazy ‘The Day After Tomorrow’ style weather.

Hmm, try selling this one in California at the moment or Texas the last few years.

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“The great man will be struck down in the day by a thunderbolt. An evil deed, foretold by the bearer of a petition. According to the prediction another falls at night time. Conflict at Reims, London, and pestilence in Tuscany.”

So he’s talking about thunder and conflict again pretty vague, the Nostradamus fans think this might be about an assassination that leads to war.

Reims is in France. I seriously doubt there will be any conflict there as the French will just capitulate like they usually do. That is unless he’s referring to a Terrorist attack on the cathedral there, though none of the interpretations I scanned putting this issue together took that view of this quatrain.

We’ll have more from old Nostradamus in just a bit but first some more chuckling.

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“Shortly before sun set, battle is engaged. A great nation is uncertain. Overcome, the sea port makes no answer, the bridge and the grave both in foreign places.”

So something about a battle at sunset and an issue with sea ports… His believers aren’t too clear on this, but some how it means world war 3 is coming.

 

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anytime they don’t know what the hell Michel is prattling on about (which is most of the bloody time if you ask me)  Nostradamus interpreters think its about either WW III or the Apocalypse.

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“Pestilences extinguished, the world becomes smaller, for a long time the lands will be inhabited peacefully. People will travel safely through the sky (over) land and seas: then wars will start up again.”

So this one is a little more wild apparently this means commercial space travel will become a reality, but there will be more war… possibly with aliens (in case you didn’t realize by now Nostradamus loves mentioning wars)

Well OF COURSE he does! Sex and Violence sell after all. Just as Hollyweird! As far as the ‘Alien war’ goes, I’m thinking the has more to do with terrestrial illegal aliens (or possibly terrorist sneaking across borders) than the extraterrestrial kind.

Nostradamus will be back in just a bit with more predictions for 2017.

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THAT folks is the end result of all the liberal brainwashing that has been going on quietly for decades in our public educational system.

 

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Well actually I can think of several other things like drink coffee, Irish Whiskey, Guinness and a few others but the rest I suppose would be subheadings under those two main categories.

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[Snicker] And all this time Impish has been thinking it was me that was having him followed.

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“Letters are found in the queen’s chests, no signature and no name of the author. The ruse will conceal the offers; so that they do not know who the lover is.”

So a Royal Scandal!? This is about as precise as Nostradamus ever gets, because of that no one online has a crazy theory about this one. My moneys on Prince Harry doing something… again

I love the British Royal Family, they help make our Politicians look like less of the thieves and idiots they are!

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“A fox will be elected without speaking one word, appearing saintly in public living on barley bread, afterwards he will suddenly become a tyrant putting his foot on the throats of the greatest men.”

So the Animals will rise up against man!? Nope, apparently this about someone getting elected then becoming a complete bastard…

Now I could say this referred to Obama but I’m sure the Liberals hiding in our wood work (yes we fumigate and often but there are so damned many of them) would undoubtedly point out and I am forced to agree this really does sound more like it refers to Trump.

Nostradamus will be back in a scroll or two.

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Stalkerazzism has apparent just hit a whole new low in England!

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“Twice put up and twice cast down, the East will also weaken the West. Its adversary after several battles chased by sea will fail at time of need.”

You’d be wrong to think this has anything to do with the East Coast–West Coast hip hop rivalry. Apparently this is a clear sign that China will become the leading global super power.

 

Hmm..Today (Monday’s) headline regarding China:

BEIJING (Reuters) – China will “take off the gloves” and take strong action if U.S. President-elect Donald Trump continues to provoke Beijing over Taiwan once he assumes office, two leading state-run …

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OK enough of ol’ Michel de Nostredame, AKA Nostradamus, was a French physician and astrologer and his 16th century take on the future. Time to consign him back on the shelf in the Conspiracy Nuts section until next year.

Moving right along, I predict the end of the issue, not Nostradamus’ sort,  is almost upon us for the week.

 

 

 

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I see Ginny’s been worshiping Impish’s graven image again!

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This last one comes from our very quiet but oh so deliciously naughty Cali beach bunny Diaman.   I know I’m going to catch hell for this…But it is Funny!

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Well ‘tis off I am to gaze into and partake deeply of my version of the tools for prognostication that Nostradamus used to see what portents of the future I can come up with. Maybe a nice fat stock tip or an upcoming trend I can exploit or get in on the ground floor of!

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What he had his ways and I have mine!

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Dragon Laffs–1522

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Good Morning Campers,1a
Today, January 14th, is “Dress Up Your Pet Day”.  But since dressing up your pet is such a sad thing to do to the poor pets, I’m not going to celebrate it here.  Just look at this poor little super-hero, does he look happy at all to you?

Or how about this little hotdog.  First of all, that has such incredibly 1bbad connotations, but that little guy looks ANYTHING but happy.

What makes people think that pets actually LIKE to be dressed in silly looking clothes?

So, no.  We won’t be celebrating “Dress Up Your Pet Day”. 

The other thing about Saturday the 14th is that it’s the day after Friday the 13th.  Now, Lethal did a really good job of explaining all the ins and outs of Friday the 13th, so allow me to explain the horrors that await on Saturday the 14th with this little video.

So, grab a coffee, sit yourself down and…c26e3224510912f80a75f456761b96b5

 

let's laugh

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A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light. The driver is a real jerk, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo !
 
So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer’s ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.
 
The tirade goes on and on without the officer saying anything.
 
When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an “AH” in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to The ‘violator’ for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy points to the “AH” and demands to know what it stands for.
 
The officer says, “That’s so when we go to court, I’ll remember that you’re an asshole !” 
 
Two months later they’re in court. The ‘violator’ has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
 
On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.
 
Under cross examination the defense attorney asks;“Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client ?”
 
Officer responds, “Yes, sir, that is the defendant’s copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top.”
 
Lawyer: “Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don’t normally make ?”
 
“Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an “AH,” underlined.”
 
“What does the “AH” stand for, officer ?” 
 
“Aggressive and hostile, Sir.” 
 
“Aggressive and hostile ?” 
 
“Yes, Sir.
 
“Officer, are you sure it doesn’t stand for asshole ?”
 
Well, Sir, you know your client better than I do.
 
How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client ?
Well, you gotta admit, it’s tough to bamboozle a lawyer, but if anyone can do it, it’s a cop.  Gotta love those guys in blue!
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Well, it’s a food group for Lethal and I.  Does anyone out there also rely on Caffeine to make it through the day?Untitled-01

This next one comes from my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior.  He didn’t write it, but he passed it on to me.  It’s entitled “The Electoral College is Working Exactly as Our Forefathers Intended.

Hillary won California 5,860,714 to Trump’s 3,151,821.  61.6% to 33.1% exclusive of the other candidates. 

But deduct her California vote from her national vote leaving her with 54,978,783, and deduct Trump’s California vote from his national total, leaving him with 57,113.976, he wins in a landslide in the other 49 states, 51.3% to her 48.7%.

So, in effect, Hillary was elected president of California and Trump was elected president of the rest of the country by a substantial margin.

This exemplifies the wisdom of the Electoral College, to prevent the vote of any one populace
state from overriding the vote of the others.  Trump’s Campaign Manager,
Kellyanne Conway, whose expertise is polling, saw this early on and devised
her strategy of “6 pathways to the White House”. 

This meant ignoring California with its huge Democrat majority and going after the states
that would give him the necessary electoral votes to win, FL, NC, MI, PA, OH, and WI. 

When the afternoon of January 20, 2017 arrives, the Republican Party will have:

1)  The Presidency.
2)  A majority of the House of Representatives.
3)  A majority of the Senate.
4)  Almost two-thirds of all the governorships.
5)  Total control of the statehouses in almost two-thirds of all the states.
And in the near future, Republicans will be able to add:
6)  A majority of the Supreme Court

The above has never happened before in American history.
Think about that and let it sink in for a moment.
And it’s all because of one reason:  Barack Obama’s forcing his extreme far-left agenda on an unwilling country by executive orders, left wing judges, and obsequious bureaucrats.

It’s important to pass this on.  With the demand that we do away with the Electoral College and take the popular vote being pushed by the media, etc, all Americans need to know that the Electoral College is working exactly as our Founding Fathers intended.

That’s the very best explanation for the Electoral College that I’ve ever heard.

2438

dragon pix9“Sir Harry Knuckles, I don’t wish to disturb your counting of the treasure, M’Lord, but I believe thou shouldest glance over thy right shoulder.”

2441Thinking…definitely something the democratic population doesn’t have to worry about.

2439
2442
The theme song of the Lethal Leprechaun.

2443

2444
green-bay-packers-nfl-roundel-area-rugWe here at DL&LL pride ourselves on letting everyone have a say.  And in that vein, we have a “confession” from our own K2.

My name is Karl and I am a foodaholic. I have been eating food for as long as I can remember. When I was a working stiff, I would eat a little food before I went to work. You know, just a little food to brace myself for the day. I would hide my food in a brown sack when I went to work. At noon, I would go off somewhere and eat from it. Sometimes I noticed some other food addicts doing the same thing. When I got home, I openly ate food in front of my little loving wife. My depravity knew no bounds and I even made my two daughters eat food. I am sad to say that they too have become habitual  food eaters.

Because I have had a lifelong familiarity with food, I can say unequivocally that tofu is not food. Tofu is the anti-Christ of food. Tofu is the black hole of flavor in food. You can put tofu on one table and it will suck the flavor out of the food on a separate table even if that other table is across the room. Upon close investigation, you will see that tofu is cut from slabs of lard-like substance made from decomposed lawn slugs and bleached out grass clippings. Studying the MRI’s of people who say that they like tofu show that they have large voids or gaps in their brains. The “this tastes like crap” receptors in their brains cannot fire off. Tofu tastes like a soft hockey puck without the rubber flavor. My guide dog will eat his own feces but will not touch tofu.

So, speaking of dog feces, this brings up rap music. Rap is the tofu of music. Rap will suck the melody out of any song it is played with. Rap causes brain damage. Listening to rap for 24 hours will turn you into a mental cripple. That is because rap destroys the brain cells responsible for judgment, rendering the person incapable of telling the difference between what is good and what is Tofu.

K2

 

2445
It’s been said, that if your birthday is in late September or Early October there’s a very good chance that your parents had a really good New Year’s Eve Party.

fantasyf2010080101Opening presents at Christmas at the Leprechaun household.

2446Of course it’s the wrong answer, Paul.  You were a fireman, you should know that the correct answer is “steps to the kitchen for marshmallows and hotdogs.”

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great footballwriter.
When asked to define ‘great,’ he exclaimed, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages. 

2448Okay, so Mexican food last night wasn’t the best idea!

2447
2449

Movie

The internet is filled with days and days and days of great videos.  Sometimes it’s amazing we find anything at all that we’re looking for.  This first one is so cool, I just had to show it to you.

How about the “Big Dog Blues”?

Cowboys in white hats still ride to the rescue

And not to be outdone, how about a repo-man with a heart of gold…

Okay, last video for today.  This one was sent to me by our own Ginny and it’s well worth watching.  Grab the tissues first, though.

I just discovered my age group! I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)
 
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 50-60 years later.
 
I don’t have to go to school or work
 
I get an allowance every month.
 
I have my own pad.
 
I don’t have a curfew.
 
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
 
I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store. ( I like the beer & wine best)
 
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren’t scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long. Why be scared?
 
And I don’t have acne.
 
Life is Good! Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.
 
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.
 
People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.
 
Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.
 
SO THERE!!

 

2450
I get picked on…a lot!  It goes with the territory of having a Leprechaun as a side-kick.Packers1  Although, I’m sure he’ll say that I’m the side-kick.  And I guess there’s truth to Packers2that.  Anyway, bandying words around is not what I had in mind. 

As many of you may know, I’m a Green Bay Packers fan.Packers  And, believe it or not, I’m being picked on because of it.  It all started with this cartoon that was put on Facebook by some of my “friends”.

2aYeah, that’s the kind of crap I have to put up with…so, knowing the people involved and who they cheer for every week, my comment on FB was: Tell me again how many of YOUR favorites are in the play-offs? And of course, the answer is none.  That shut up that bunch, but then I got this picture.
2b
And at first I thought it was making fun of Aaron, but I realized that it was Aaron making fun of cowboys!  So yeah.  I got that going for me.

motivational
Angry Birds
canadiansMercaMeth
mexican hat dance

2cAnd I’m trying really hard to get through it in one piece and still finish this issue…..

2450a
Yup, I went there.  lol

2452

Last Word
I’m sure if you didn’t watch the Golden Globes on TV that you saw at least part of Meryl Streep’s diatribe.  It really pissed me off that she thinks anyone gives a crap about her “opinions” about anything other than a role or a movie she was in.

I had planned on putting my own words to how I felt about her speech when I got this from our own dear Ginny.  This exactly expresses my own opinion perfectly.

Found this on Facebook….I thought it was well said…..about Golden Globes speech by Meryl Streep….
 
Copied from someone else and re-posted:
Dear Hollywood celebrities,
You exist for my entertainment. Some of you are great eye candy. Some of you can deliver a 3line with such conviction that you bring tears to my eyes. Some of you can scare the crap out of me. Others make me laugh. But you all have one thing in common, you only have a place in my world to entertain me. That’s it. You make your living pretending to be someone else.
Playing dress up like a 6 year old. You live in a make believe world in front of a camera. And often when you are away from one too. Your entire existence depends on my patronage. I’ll crank the organ grinder; you dance.
I don’t really care where you stand on issues. Honestly, your stance matters far less to me than that of my neighbor. You see, you aren’t real. I turn off my TV or shut down my computer and you cease to exist in my world. Once I am done with you, I can put you back in your little box until I want you to entertain me again.
I don’t care that you don’t like Mr.Trump. But I bet you looked cute saying it. Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something blue and shiny. Make me laugh, or cry. Scare me.
But realize that the only words of yours that matter are scripted. I might agree with some of you from time to time, but it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist solely for my entertainment.
So, shut your pie hole and dance.

 

Cheers Impish

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