Leprechaun Laughs Special Birthday Edition

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See things like THIS are why I can never be away from DL/LL Corporate HQ for any length of time much less a computer. Certain other key personnel whom shall remain nameless let things that should be taken care of on/in THEIR watch/issue fall through the cracks and I have to double time to same the Corporate face when I was just passing through intent on another destination entirely.

ANYWAY-

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To our dear darling Ginny!

Ginny~

Please accept my sincere apology for this getting out so very late in the day.

Since it was too late to get you a cake please accept these wonderful gourmet donuts in it’s stead.

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As well as the best wishes of all of us here at DL/LL Digital Media, including the forgetful one(s).

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Dragon Laffs #1548

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Campers


And an interesting couple of days it’s been since we last spoke.  I’ve been working pretty much non-stop and I’m working this weekend…this morning…while you’re reading this…

Don’t even worry about the fact while you’re sitting at home, relaxing, drinking coffee, having your favorite pastry, poor Impish Dragon is at work and … oh, never mind, even I can’t feel sorry for myself with such great readers as you guys.

So, …

Let's Laugh

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So I figured a real groaner right from the start ought to be the way to start this issue that has a very short working time.  So, now that we’ve set the expectation meter at zero, let’s continue!

Children need to learn to take responsibility for their actions so that they do not become adults believing that nothing is ever their fault!

Call it a statement of belief.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
 
Sheriff: Height ?                         
Husband:  I’m not sure.  A little over five-feet tall.
 
Sheriff: Weight ?
Husband:  Don’t know.  Not slim, not really fat.
 
Sheriff: Color of eyes ?
Husband: Sort of brown I think.  Never really noticed
Sheriff: Color of hair?
Husband:Changes a couple times a year.  Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
 
Sheriff:   What was she wearing ?
 
Husband:  Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts.  I don’t know exactly.
 
Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband:  She went in my truck.
 
Sheriff:   What kind of truck was it ?
 
Husband : A 2016 pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning.  It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets.  I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires.  It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
 
At this point the husband started choking up. 
 
Sheriff:   Take it easy sir, we’ll find your truck!!!

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Dragon Pix

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Just a really cool picture

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Two-year-old spits food out on the floor…

Wife: “We don’t spit!  If it’s in your mouth you swallow it!”

Me: *Raises eyebrows*

Wife: “You shut up!”

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Fantasy

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Dream a little dream of me…

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One should always be prepared. So, if someone asks you what the main difference is between most of the Obama/Clinton supporters, and the Trump supporters, instead of stammering, and stuttering and looking for an answer, just tell them that the Trump supporters sign their checks on the front, and the Obama/Clinton supporters sign their checks on the back.

 

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This next one scares me…
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And if you can’t figure out why, that scares me, too.

Who invented the backup sensor?

I bet you think it was Ford, maybe GM, how about Chrysler, No ? Then how about Mercedes Benz, or possibly the French or Italians ?
 
Nope ! It was a Chinese farmer !
 
Lots of the newer cars have a backup sensor that warns the driver before the rear bumper actually comes in contact with something.

Surprisingly, it was not developed by modern automotive engineers using the latest technology.  It was disclosed recently that the first to developed the Back-Up
Sensor was a Chinese farmer.

His invention was simple and effective. It emits a high-pitch sound
before
the vehicle backs into something.

Here’s his first prototype:

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Okay, so I’m warning you up front…
Groan

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Once there was an auto mechanic who worked at his home. He had a dog named Mace. Mace was a good dog but he had one bad habit. He ate grass. Now most dogs will eat grass but Mace ate all the grass. The mechanic kept Mac in the house most of the time. One afternoon when the mechanic was working on a car, he dropped a wrench. Now the grass had become overgrown and the mechanic looked and looked through the tall grass but he couldn’t find the wrench. As it was late in the afternoon, he decided to stop work for the day and wait for to look for the wrench. Somehow, during the night, Mace got out of the house. The next morning when the auto mechanic opened the door, the sun was glinting off the wrench. Mace had eaten all the grass in the yard.
The mechanic lifted his eyes toward the sky and sang, “A grazing Mace, How sweet the hound, that found the wrench for me.”   FB_IMG_1488900572004

 

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Feed Me8

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Got Up Early10

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Maybe that should’ve gone with the other groaners?

 

Breaking News

Tensions on the Korean peninsula continue to heat up, North Korea provocatively building its threat of missile strikes, while the US continues to express its frustrations with the politically isolated regime.

Kim Jong Un’s test of an ICBM capable of striking the U.S. mainland is putting renewed pressure on a U.S. missile defense system racing to keep up with North Korea’s quickly evolving military threat.

Recently, North Korea escalated the military build up by unveiling its new military planes.  They say that these new planes will be actively used by their air force as early as this August.
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Oh crap!  I’m really sorry.  That one should have been given a warning, also.

Political

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I’m on two diets now…d17

I wasn’t getting nearly enough food on just one! 

 

Okay, so of our boys in blue aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box.
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Okay, I’m really sorry, but this is the last one…I promise. 

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bellringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he decided to call it a day when a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bellringers job. The bishop was incredulous, “You have no arms!”
“No matter,” said the man, “Observe!”
He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo.
Suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped, and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.
The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, “Bishop, who was this man?”
“I don’t know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, “but his face rings a bell.”

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Okay, so I couldn’t help that last one…so…let’s just call it a day.  Let’s wrap up with something our dearly loved Diaman sent to me as today’s
Last Word

A young lady  confidently walked around the room while leading and explaining stress management to an audience; with a raised glass of water, and everyone knew she was going to ask the ultimate question, ‘half empty or half full?’.

She fooled them all…   

“How heavy is this glass of water?”, she inquired with a smile.  

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.  

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.

If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.

In each case it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.”

“As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden – holding stress longer and better each time practiced.

So, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Pick them up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment.

Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested.

Life is short.

Enjoy it and the now ‘supposed’ stress that you’ve conquered!”

 

1. Accept the  fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4.  Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can’t push.

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

11.  Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12.  The second mouse gets the cheese.

13.  When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

14.  Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16.  Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

And that’s it for me today my great campers.  Be well, until we meet again. 

Love you, mom!

Cheers Impish

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Dragon Laffs #1547

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As you approach the campground where you normally have Dragon Laffs on Saturday mornings, you begin to hear a low … noise.

You can’t really figure out what it is, almost a thrumming sound echoing in the area, almost to where you can feel it in the ground, like a low vibration. 

As you get close enough, you realize that it is a significant portion of the readership spread out over the campgrounds and they are all moaning.  But underneath it all is a low rumble that you soon realize is the very green looking blue dragon on his usual dais, curled up with his head on his tail and his wings pulled over his head trying to block out the sun, the  noise and the whole world, and the noise is his very low, continuous moan.

Diaman and Ginny are both bent over his tail, peeking under his wings with a bucket and a large spoon, almost a ladle, trying to get him to take what must be medicine.  Specifically, a concoction made up by Lethal Leprechaun, who is standing off to the side, speaking with a man in a white hospital jacket who you’ve seen before and believe is the company Vet. 

And speaking of the great green one, although you remember well him staying drink for drink with any and all comers, he is his normal spit and polish self, with, what looks to you, in your own hung-over gaze, to have an even brighter than normal gleam in his eye.

Lethal shakes the Vets hand, walks over to the two young ladies, takes the spoon away from Diaman, leans in, and then whispers something to Impish.  He then shoves the spoon roughly under the edge of the wings and you can see, even from your limited vantage point, that whatever was on the spoon is now gone.  He drops the utensil back into the bucket reaches to his belt line and you can hear a click as he switches on his microphone. 

The Leprechaun whispers softly, but strongly enough for all to hear, “Tis quite sorry I am to say this to most of you, I am, but the potion I have administered to the blue dunder-dragon, and the same one I have myself imbibed this beautiful post Independence Day, only works for mythological creatures.  It doesn’t work as well on dragons as it does on us more intelligent mythos, but our big blue friend should be well enough momentarily to get things started.  Any of the rest of you mythologicals can line up with our two fair maidens, Diaman and Ginny, and get a taste of the hair-of-the-dog.  Ah, and here is our laconic lizard now.”

Lethal reaches back down to his belt-line to shut off his mic as the deeper than usual rumbling of Impish Dragon’s voice comes scratching from the speakers, “Good Morning Campers.  Today’s issue will be brought to you, quite quietly, in just a moment.  I’d like to make a couple of announcements first.”

First of all, whoever left the blowup doll in the cavern swimming pool, please remove it immediately.  As you may remember, there is an event there with our employees children that is supposed to start…Diaman, what time is it? … Oh crap, it’s due to start right now!  Okay, I’m being told that the situation has been taken care of and I’m supposed to change this announcement to say that the owner of the blowup doll can retrieve it from Paul who, after donning protective equipment, has retrieved it from the pool prior to the little-ones showing up.  I also understand that the pool had an extra dose of chlorine for safety’s sake.

Second…oh hell, I don’t know what is second, let’s just get this show on the road…but quietly!

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Seems as though I’m not the only one who’s been having crappy weather lately:

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Yup, that would be enough for me!

Is this the future?  It’s called “Gordon’s Pizza”

– Hello! Gordon’s pizza?

– No sir this is Google’s pizza.

– Sorry, I must have dialed a wrong number?

– No sir, Google bought out Gordon’s Pizza a short while ago.

– OK. Take my order please.

– OK sir, would you like your usual?”

– The usual? You know me?

– According to our caller-ID database, your last 12 orders were for pizza with cheese and sausage toppings, thick crust and crisp.

– OK! That’s it…

– May I suggest this time you add ricotta, arugula with dry tomato toppings?

– What? I hate vegetables.

– Your cholesterol is not good, sir.”

– How do you know that?

– We cross-matched your phone number with your name and your online medical portal. We have the result of your blood tests for the past 7 years.

– Okay, but I do not want those toppings, I already take medicine …

– Excuse me, but you have not taken your medicine regularly.  We can see from our database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at CVS.

– I bought more from another pharmacy.

– Such a transaction is not showing in your credit card account.

– I paid in cash.

– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your recent bank statement.

– I have another source of cash.

– That is not showing as per your latest tax return unless you obtained it from an undeclared income source.

WHAT THE…..

– “I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

– Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to spy on me.

– “I understand sir but you’ll need to renew your passport first as it expired 6 weeks ago! 

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Now THAT’S Funny!

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We are in for a special treat this morning.  We have TWO dragon pics.  One drawn by my own little grand-daughter and one by Izzy dragon.  They were both drawn this morning and they are both supposed to be pictures of me and how I looked this morning.  I haven’t seen them yet either, so it will be a surprise for all of us.

First, from my little grand-daughter:
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OUCH!  I’m almost afraid to see this next one…it’s a charcoal drawing by Izzy and I’m actually looking forward to this, she’s quite a good artist:
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Oh, ouch again.  Well, it’s accurate. 

(Now, before the real artists of these two pictures tries to sue me for stealing your wonderful drawings, it was part of a JOKE!  I know my two girls didn’t draw them.  A JOKE!)

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God, that was awful!!!!

So, this seems like a good place to tell another story.

You remember last time when I told you about how Izzy and I “built bombs” and the teacher went ballistic and wanted to call the FBI, but the principal and I had talked prior to that and it was all good?

Well, this is that story…the story of the week before.

Mrs. Dragon and I were sitting down watching a movie, one of those Bruce Willis, blow up the bank tower thingies.  In other words, an “R” Rated movie.  Definitely not suitable for a little girl who’s still in kindergarten.

Anyway, the Izzy Dragon had been down the hall, playing in her room for the whole thing.  She was being GREAT!  The perfect little angel.

Then, with about ten minutes left in the movie, right at the climax, our toddles my little dragon.  So, of course, the first thing I do is pause the movie.

She says, “I’m bored.  Can we watch _____” and you can fill in the blank with The Lion King, or Cinderella or something.

Anyway, I said, “Sure honey, just as soon as mommy and daddy finish our movie, we can watch whatever you want.  It’s almost over.  About ten minutes.”

And she says okay and promptly plops herself down on the couch and of course daddy says, “oh, no, no!  You need to go back to your room and play for just a few minutes until we call you.”

And this inquisitive little girl responds with, “Why can’t I watch your movie?”

So, thinking fast, I say, “well darling, see there are movies for kids and movies for mommies and daddies and kids are only allowed to watch kid movies.”

This brilliant kid comes back with, “Oh, Okay.  I get it.  There are kid movies and adult movies.”

And I thought, THIS IS AWESOME.  This little kindergartener picked up on that differential really fast!  I’m so impressed!

And I stayed impressed all the way to the next day when, apparently, when she was asked what she did all weekend, her reply was, “Mommy and Daddy spent the weekend watching adult movies.”

So yeah, by the time it got around to the picture of her in a bomb vest, her teacher was already convinced that I was THE WORST PARENT of all time!”

At least the principal and I got a good laugh out of it.

So, tune in next time to hear ANOTHER story from my past.  Now, back to your regularly scheduled E-Zine, already in progress.

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And…..smile!

 

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“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille.

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Okay, I need one of these signs!
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We’ve been having a lot of conversations around here lately about the legalization of marijuana and it’s health effects on people with pain…like me.  Sadly, Indiana sits so tightly in the bible belt that it won’t be my lifetime that sees them loosening up.  I can just imagine things like this coming up:
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Memo:
FROM: Impish Dragon
TO: Lethal Leprechaun
SUBJECT: Mission 16.26A

Lethal.  I think I found him.  Merlin’s kid.  The one we’ve been looking for for the past 1400 years or so.  I even have video proof:

Stupid of him to be on such an obvious show … although with it’s losing ratings, maybe he thought he could get away with it.  He’s always been a show off and a huge fan of his own talents.

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So, the weekend was pretty exciting for me.  Mrs. Dragon and I needed to go to her Dad’s house and pick up some stuff she had kind of inherited from her Aunt and Uncle.  The primary bits were an antique dresser and a brand-new (never taken out of the box) power washer. 

Well, it’s not like we own a truck.  We have one vehicle and it’s an eleven-year-old (paid-off) Dodge Stratus with just a bit over 100,000 (paid-off) miles.  It’s actually (paid-off) a good little car, although it’s (paid-off) beginning to show a little (paid-off) wear-and-tear, but it still gets me (paid-off) back and forth to work.  But do you want to know the very best part about this car?  It’s friggin’ PAID OFF!!! 

So when we moved to the new house two years ago, I paid to have a tow bar on the back of the car, even though I don’t own a trailer, I had one I could borrow.  But, I couldn’t borrow it this weekend because it wasn’t available.  So, how was I going to get the dresser  home?Untitled-01

I bought this cool little rack for the car that goes on the trailer hitch:

 

 

 

 

Well, of course, I’ve never used it before and just because it says it can hold up to 500 lbs doesn’t mean it really CAN hold 500 lbs and maybe my little old car CAN’T hold 500 lbs and, even if it can, would it be able to last the whole 2 hours, and… well, you get the idea.  Besides, I had no idea how big the dresser was or anything.

So, we head south and relax and listen to the Bob and Sheri show on podcast. 

One of the coolest places we pass on the way is a HUGE…I mean GINORMOUS(!) windmill farm.  It goes on for miles and miles, as far as the eye can see, on both sides of the road near Leisure, Indiana.
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Anyway, long story short, we got to Dad’s house and got the stuff:20170701_125311

And it fit on the rack just wonderfully.

On the way back north, we stopped at an authentic Italian Restaurant that’s owned by a friend of Mrs. Dragons from High School named Christi.  That’s the friend’s name, not the name of the restaurant.  The restaurant is called:
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That says Kinsey’s if you couldn’t tell.  Someone made up that picture with pictures of pictures who’s shapes spell out their name.  The food was, and always has been outstanding

You can seriously look them up right now on Yelp and see that Kinsey’s Italian Café at 6383 West Broadway, McCordsville, IN (46055) has a 4 star rating! 

I had the Panzerotti, which is calzone with extra pepperoni and sausage:

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It may not look like it in the picture, but this calzone is HUGE!  More than I could eat and truly a taste experience!

Mrs. Dragon had the chicken parmesan sandwich.  She had it with light sauce (which I don’t understand, but to each his own) and was able to finish only about 1/3!
20170701_143750 Needless to say, we were both very excited since we ended up with a total of 3 more meals out of our visit. One more for me and two more for her.  We had an awesome experience!

Oh, and one more thing…gasoline around here has been about $2.25 to $2.35 a gallon for a while now.  While 20170702_140658.jpgadown south, I started seeing signs for gas at $2.01 and $2.05, but when I saw … well, you won’t believe me unless I show it to you.  I HAD to take a picture of the receipt or even I wouldn’t believe it!

That’s right!  That says $1.93 a gallon!  I haven’t seen that low a price since … well … for a really long time!

And I know, there are probably a lot of you out there that are paying that or less right now, but not around here!

So, that’s the end of my weekend adventure.  I hope you enjoyed experiencing it with me.

Now, let’s go get some more laughs before we have to call it a day!

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Breaking News

According to BBC News… Muslim suicide bombers in Great Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.   The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman claimed increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.   The suicide bombers’ union B.O.O.M, (British Organization of Occupational Martyrs) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this, is like a kick in the arse.”   Speaking from his shed in Birmingham in the Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, “I sympathize with our workers’ concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. “Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don’t like cutting benefits but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”   Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle upon Tyne in the North East of England, Liverpool, Glasgow, Belfast in Northern Ireland, Swansea in South Wales, New Zealand, and the entire Australian territory stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are no virgins in their areas anyway.   According to some industry sources, at least part of the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scotland’s singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit package.   This could EASILY be me and Mrs. Dragon!!!! FB_IMG_1488296598011

My husband cut himself and was treated in the emergency room.
 
Afterwards, he returned to the waiting room and I asked what kind of follow-up the doctor had prescribed.

With a totally straight face, he read from the printed sheet, “Take it easy, be waited on, and have sex at least twice a day.”

At that, another man sitting nearby jumped up and exclaimed, “Whatever he’s got, I want it!”

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A very nice, innocent Australian woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman.
 
After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
 
She ends up corresponding with Scotty Greer, who is an average golfer, and who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback, and he has no experience with women.
 
They meet and she is very happy with him; she feels that they are perfect for each other.
 
Eventually they end up getting married.
 
On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked and all the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.
 
“What happened?” she asks.
 
“I’ve never been with a woman” he says, “But if it’s anything like a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”

 

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This next video is a kind of self-help/how-to video called:  How To Put On A Bra

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Well campers, it’s time for us to go get to the park for the fireworks, so I’m going to end this here.  I’ll see you again soon on Saturday!

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

DL/LL Digital Media Independence Day 2017 Issue

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As you arrive you encounter the usual rigmarole and organized chaos that is normal for a holiday at/on Impish & Lethal’s Party Mountain/Recreation Facility. There is however on notable exception, Lethal isn’t waiting inside for you, he’s outside greeting people and ushering lollygaggers inside towards the buses to the picnic area where Impish usually holds his Saturday address and issue.

Lethal explains:Since his bloody name goes on the opening and closing banners for these holiday issue I figured ‘twas about high time he did a bit o’ work on them too. He’s waiting for you at the picnic area with a full on breakie and his opening remarks. Nae ta worry, ‘tis there I’ll be joining you shortly fear not. Hush a bhuachaill and hurry now ‘tis a full issue and a full schedule o’ fun and frolic we’ve this day!”

After a brief bus ride into the freshening breeze laden with the fantastic smells of a full hot breakfast buffet, you arrive at the picnic area and disembark queuing to load your trays will all manner of breakfast delights regardless of your usual breakfast habits. Once you’ve accomplished this and found seating at one of the tables Impish rouses himself from deep contemplation of his coffee and a very large American Flag waving proudly over the field.

“Good Day Campers,

Today marks the beginning of the annual DL&LL Independence Day Bash.  This year, it will be an especially intense party since it will be over a four day period, culminating with our annual Fireworks display on Tuesday night.

But, that is not really what I wanted to discuss with you today.  I have a few points I’d like you to consider before we begin our revelry.

This Tuesday, July 4th, celebrates the 241st Anniversary of our country’s independence.  A somewhat successful experiment with a constitutional republic.  I say “somewhat” successful and it sounds “somewhat” derogatory, but in reality, it is the best system available on the planet at this time.

That’s not to say that some other great and blessed people can’t come up with an even better system in the future, but in my humble draconian opinion (I know…humble draconian … oxymoronic!) I seriously doubt it.  Not without a huge revolution the likes of which this world has never seen.  The problem with that scenario is that modern weaponry is such that I believe we’d destroy the planet prior to successfully revolting from whatever current tyrant we would be revolting against.  It would also require even more divine intervention and guidance than the first writers of the Constitution had and I’m not sure that God has enough avid listeners to inspire.

But the best on the planet is worth defending.  And a wiser man than I once said that the tree of liberty must occasionally be watered with the blood of the brave.  I may be paraphrasing a bit. 

I know we have Memorial Day to honor and remember the sacrifice that so many have made in defense of our country and we have Veteran’s Day to honor the men and women who have put on the uniform and raised their hands acknowledging their willingness to sacrifice all.  But I can’t help but ask you to take a moment in your celebration of the anniversary of our Independence to think about everything that had to happen in order for us to be where we are today.

You know, there are so many, many people around the world who would give everything they had to be the lowest among us here in America.  And contra-wise, there are many who want to come here because of our freedoms and then shit on those freedoms by wanting to change everything into the hell-hole they left behind.  But, overall, most of the world wishes they, too could be Americans, they too could be free, they too could be proud enough of their homes that they would sacrifice everything to protect it.”

“Our Lives, Our Fortunes, Our Sacred Honor…”

“That, is what it means to be a real true honest of God American.

I know that Lethal and myself see things a little bit differently than some of you who are reading this right now, but I also know that those of you who have worn the uniform, loved someone who has worn the uniform, or maybe even worked with people who wear or have worn the uniform are probably nodding and smiling right now, maybe with just the glistening of a tear, unshed, in the corner of their eye because you know the truth of the words that I speak.

The United States of America.  The very BEST that mankind has to offer.
God Bless you and keep you safe this holiday, and I’ll be checking in with you on Wednesday, but please, try to keep it down, the hangover is liable to be EPIC.

I return you now to your host for the issue and weekend, the Crown Prince of Partydom- Lethal Leprechaun.”

American Let's Roll

 

Patrons, Readers, Veterans, And anyone else here, please join me in standing for our National Anthem.

 

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Take a moment this holiday weekend to say a prayer for those  who are POW/MIA. They paid/may well still be paying the price of the freedom you celebrate this weekend.

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Please stand and join me in the Pledge of Allegiance to our Great Nation.

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Okay, first things first, I need a cup of coffee and some of you guys are out of uniform for the weekend.

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Much better! Now that all  the proprieties have been observed we can proceed, where was I? Oh yea- Learning Time!

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Independence Day is a 1996 American science fiction action film directed and co-written by Roland Emmerich. The film focuses on disparate groups of people  Oops! Wrong Independence Day reference, my bad!

Independence Day, also referred to as the Fourth of July or July Fourth, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence 241 years ago on July 4, 1776. The Continental Congress declared that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a new nation, the United States of America, and were no longer part of the British Empire.

Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, and political speeches and ceremonies, in addition to various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the National Day of the United States.

Huh? What? History lessons are boring?! Falling asleep? Okay, let’s try dumbing this down and  putting it in cartoon form then shall we?

Tea Party – Schoolhouse Rock – No more Kings

 

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Nathan Hale volunteers to spy behind British lines

On September 10th, 1776, General George Washington asks for a volunteer for an extremely dangerous mission: to gather intelligence behind enemy lines before the coming Battle of Harlem Heights. Captain Nathan Hale of the 19th Regiment of the Continental Army stepped forward and subsequently become one of the first known American spies of the Revolutionary War.

Disguised as a Dutch schoolmaster, the Yale University-educated Hale slipped behind British lines on Long Island and then successfully gathered information about British troop movements for the next several weeks. While Hale was behind enemy lines, the British invaded the island of Manhattan; they took control of the city on September 15, 1776. When the city was set on fire on September 20, 1776, British soldiers were put on high alert for sympathizers to the Patriot cause. The following evening, on September 21, 1776, Hale was captured while sailing Long Island Sound, trying to cross back into American-controlled territory.

Hale was interrogated by British General William Howe and, when it was discovered that he was carrying incriminating documents, General Howe ordered his execution for spying, which was set for the following morning. After being led to the gallows, legend holds that Hale was asked if he had any last words and that he replied with these now-famous words, “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country.” There is no historical record to prove that Hale actually made this statement, but, if he did, he may have been inspired by these lines in English author Joseph Addison’s 1713 play Cato: “What a pity it is/That we can die but once to serve our country.”

Patriot spy Nathan Hale was hanged by the British on the morning of September 22, 1776. He was just 21 years old. Although rumors later surfaced that Hale’s capture was the result of a betrayal by his first cousin and British Loyalist Samuel Hale, the exact circumstances leading to Hale’s arrest have never been discovered.

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/nathan-hale-volunteers-to-spy-behind-british-lines

Schoolhouse Rock!: America – The Shot Heard ‘Round the World

 

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On June 14, 1777, the Second Continental Congress passed the Flag Resolution which stated: “Resolved, That the flag of the thirteen United States be thirteen stripes, alternate red and white; that the union be thirteen stars, white in a blue field, representing a new constellation.”

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The flag of the United States of America, often referred to as the American flag, is the national flag of the United States. It consists of thirteen equal horizontal stripes of red (top and bottom) alternating with white, with a blue rectangle in the canton (referred to specifically as the “union”) bearing fifty small, white, five-pointed stars arranged in nine offset horizontal rows, where rows of six stars (top and bottom) alternate with rows of five stars. The 50 stars on the flag represent the 50 states of the United States of America, and the 13 stripes represent the thirteen British colonies that declared independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain, and became the first states in the U.S.

Nicknames for the flag include The Stars and Stripes, Old Glory, and The Star-Spangled Banner.

The current design of the U.S. flag is its 27th; the design of the flag has been modified officially 26 times since 1777. The 48-star flag was in effect for 47 years until the 49-star version became official on July 4, 1959. The 50-star flag was ordered by the then president Eisenhower on August 21, 1959, and was adopted in July 1960. It is the longest-used version of the U.S. flag and has been in use for over 56 years.

Time for a musical interlude..then we’ll get back to our history lessons

The Stars and Stripes Forever – Bells on Temple Square

 

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School House Rock -The Preamble

Okay! Okay I hear you! Enough history lessons lets move on.

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A Star-Spangled Birthday Party — Live From the U.S. Capitol!

On July Fourth, America’s national Independence Day celebration honors our country’s birthday with an all-star salute. Broadcast live on PBS from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol, this top-rated extravaganza features coverage from 20 cameras positioned around Washington, D.C., ensuring viewers are front and center for the greatest display of fireworks in the nation.

In the three decades since the humble beginning of A Capitol Fourth, a parade of superstars — including Frankie Valli, Patti LaBelle, John Williams, Stevie Wonder, Aretha Franklin, Reba McEntire, Natasha Bedingfield, Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond, Dolly Parton, Steve Martin, Josh Groban, Gloria Estefan, Huey Lewis and the News, Little Richard, Tony Bennett, Faith Hill, Ray Charles, the Bee Gees, Kenny G, Aaron Neville, Kenny Rogers and the Muppets from Sesame Street — has offered the best in American entertainment and helped set the tone for a spectacular American birthday party.

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Emmy Award-nominated actor and producer John Stamos is set to host the 37th annual edition of PBS’ A Capitol Fourth, broadcast live from the West Lawn of the U.S. Capitol. The all-star musical and fireworks extravaganza will kick off the country’s 241st birthday with performances by: iconic multi-platinum selling music legends The Beach Boys, featuring John Stamos (drums) and Sugar Ray’s Mark McGrath(vocals); soul men Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi of The Blues Brothers; acclaimed country music singer and songwriter Kellie Pickler; legendary Motown stars The Four Tops; Grammy-nominated gospel legend Yolanda Adams; The Voice Season 12 winner Chris Blue; and Broadway star and two-time Tony Award nominee Laura Osnes; with the National Symphony Orchestra under the direction of top pops conductor Jack Everly. Gifted actress and singer Sofia Carson will open the show with a special performance of the national anthem. The concert will also feature a tribute to our men and women in uniform by country music star and Grammy-nominated member of the Grand Ole Opry Trace Adkins who will perform his new single “Still a Soldier.” The inspiring moment will be dedicated to our troops and veterans, and all those who have made the ultimate sacrifice fighting for our freedom.

Also participating in the event will be the Choral Arts Society of Washington, the U.S. Army Herald Trumpets, the U.S. Army Ceremonial Band, Members of the Armed Forces carrying the State and Territorial Flags and the Armed Forces Color Guard provided by the Military District of Washington, D.C.

Capping off the show will be a rousing rendition of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” complete with live cannon fire provided by the United States Army Presidential Salute Battery, an audience favorite and A Capitol Fourth tradition. 

!cid_58B7E189695C4B949B87FA225186281F@WydockPC  When to Watch A Capitol Fourth  !cid_58B7E189695C4B949B87FA225186281F@WydockPC[4]

A Capitol Fourth premieres live on PBS July 4. Most stations air the Concert at 8:00 p.m. ET / 7:00 p.m. CT and repeat the program at 9:30 p.m. ET immediately after the live broadcast.

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The Battle Hymn of the Republic performed by the U.S. Army Chorus

The U.S. Army Chorus performed at the dedication of the George W. Bush Presidential Library

 

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Let’s face it your menu for the weekend is pretty much etched in stone. Burgers, Hot Dogs, maybe Steaks, Beer can Chicken or BBQ for those of you who are more accomplished grillers. The sides will be all the usual picnic ones, Tossed Salad, Potato and Pasta salads, possibly baked in the coals potatoes and/or grilled/boiled corn on the cob. The usual salty snacks will be present in abundances as well as the usual assorted beverages.

It’s July 4th, America’s Independence Day, these tings are American and they are what we eat for picnic, especially this picnic. Any attempt I might make to change this menu would be pointless so I’m not going to. What I am going to do is try and help you add some pizazz with a couple quick and easy dips.

Later on, we’ll discuss piazzing up your drinks, not only for this weekend but for all  summer.

Beefy Taco Dip

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Prep time: 5 minutes
Total time: 20 min
Serves: 18 people
Cost/recipe: $7.24

 

Spicy ground beef, picante sauce, cream cheese and Cheddar are heated together for a hearty dip with maximum flavor…it’s a quick and tasty appetizer to serve with tortilla chips

Ingredients

  • 1/2 pound ground beef
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
  • 1  cup Pace® Picante Sauce – Medium
  • 4  ounces (1/2 of an 8-ounce package) cream cheese, cut into pieces
  • 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (about 2 ounces)
  • 2  tablespoons diced tomatoes
  • 2  tablespoons sliced green onion
  • 2  tablespoons sliced pitted black olives
  • 2  tablespoons seeded sliced jalapeño pepper
  • 2  tablespoons sour cream
  • 18  ounces (1 bag) tortilla chips

How to Make It

Step 1

Cook the beef and chili powder in a 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until the beef is well browned, stirring often to separate meat. Pour off any fat.

Step 2

Stir the picante sauce, cream cheese and Cheddar cheese in the skillet. Cook and stir until the cheese is melted.

Step 3

Spoon the beef mixture into a medium bowl.  Sprinkle with the tomatoes, green onion, olives and pepper and top with the sour cream, if desired.  Serve with the tortilla chips.

Use pickled jalapenos or remove core seeds and pith for less heat. Or add a Cayenne pepper sauce (such as Franks) during Step 2 to taste and substitute diced green bell pepper in its place.

You can place this in a small crockpot or alternately use an oven/grill proof bowl or small cast iron skillet to help keep the dip warm longer (use a spoon and think all inclusive nacho topping for the chips), but honestly don’t expect this to hang around long. When I make this I see people putting it as topping on burgers and hot dogs never mind just on the chips.

Salsa Onion Dip

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Prep time: 5 min
Total time: 2 hr. 5 mins
Serves: 24 people
Cost per recipe: $3.78

 

This refreshing dip combines dry onion soup and recipe mix with sour cream, Pace® Chunky Salsa and sliced green onion, and can be served with colorful sliced vegetables or tortilla chips.

Ingredients

  • 1 envelope (about 1 ounce) dry onion recipe soup & dip mix
  • 16 ounces (16 ounces) sour cream
  • 1 cup Pace® Chunky Salsa – Mild
  • 2 tablespoons Sliced green onion

How to Make It

Stir the soup mix, sour cream and salsa in a medium bowl.  Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours.  Sprinkle with the onion. Serve with tortilla chips or fresh vegetables for dipping.

You can fit about half of a recipe right back into the sour cream container for storage, transport as serving.

While it says let it sit for 2 hours, honestly its much better if it’s sat overnight.

Finally if you use your favorite salsa know that the liquid component of salsa varies significantly from brand to brand. Ideally you want as chunky/low liquid salsa as you can find, otherwise you might have to consider draining some of the liquid so the dip doesn’t get to runny and thin.

My Country ‘Tis of Thee — Washington National Cathedral Choir

Moved deeply by the desire to create a national hymn that would allow the American people to offer praise to God for their wonderful land, a twenty-four-year-old theological student, Samuel Francis Smith, penned these lines on a scrap of paper in less than thirty minutes in 1832. Yet even today many consider My Country, ‘Tis of Thee their favorite patriotic hymn and call it their “unofficial national anthem.”

The easily singable words of the song are matched with a popular international melody used by many nations, including the United Kingdom, where it accompanies “God Save the King/Queen.” The emotionally powerful ideas that Smith expressed had an immediate response. The hymn soon became a national favorite. The stirring tributes to our fatherland in the first three stanzas lead to a worshipful climax of gratefulness to God and a prayer for His continued guidance.

Following his graduation from Harvard and the Andover Theological Seminary, Samuel Smith became an outstanding minister in several Baptist churches in the East. He composed 150 hymns during his 87 years and helped compile the leading Baptist hymnal of his day. He was also editor of a missionary magazine through which he exerted a strong influence in promoting the cause of missions. Later he became the secretary of the Baptist Missionary Union and spent considerable time visiting various foreign fields. Samuel Smith was truly a distinctive representative of both his country and his God.

My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing:
Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrims’ pride,
From ev’ry mountain side let freedom ring!

My native country, thee, land of the noble free, thy name I love:
I love thy rocks and rills, thy woods and templed hills;
My heart with rapture thrills like that above.

Let music swell the breeze, and ring from all the trees sweet freedom’s song:
Let mortal tongues awake, let all that breathe partake;
Let rocks their silence break, the sound prolong.

Our fathers’ God, to Thee, author of liberty, to Thee we sing:
Long may our land be bright with freedom’s holy light;
Protect us by Thy might, great God, our King!

 

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I THINK that is Pearl Harbor and POSSIBLY the USS Arizona

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So last year the Peachcomber recipe went over so well that I decided to make this an annual tradition. Here then is this years DL/LL Digital Media Enterprises Summer Libation 2017!

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Directions (Virgin)

Puree 1 cup cubed watermelon, 2 cups cranberry juice and 1/4 cup each grenadine and lemon juice in a blender. Strain, then pour 3/4 cup of the strained puree into ice-filled glasses; top with seltzer and garnish with watermelon.

Directions (Adult)

Add to blender prior to Pureeing 6 oz. Watermelon Vodka, Watermelon Pucker or 3 oz. of each (Recommended!)

I recommend using a Watermelon flavored seltzer/sparking water.  LaCroix Curate makes an excellent Kiwi Watermelon one which comes in 8 packs of 12 fl. oz. cans.  Ozarka Sparkling Natural Spring Water, Watermelon Lime is also an great choice and it comes in 32 fl. oz. bottles. If you are going straight Watermelon Pucker you might want to balance the sweetness by using a Cranberry flavored seltzer/sparking water depending on how sweet or tart your choice of cranberry juices was.

Speaking of Cranberry juice choices, I suggest Northland Cranberry 100% Juice,  which comes in a 64 fl. oz. bottle for roughly $3.00 at Wal-Mart though I can usually get it at my local grocer as well. Before you get all aghast at the thought of having that much Cranberry Juice on hand, I would point out that  is only enough for 4 batches.

As of press time, due to multiple reasons my official Summer Libation tester, Impish had not yet had the chance to imbibe this refreshing beverage. Perhaps he’ll favor us with a review on Wednesday. If not trust me- Try it you’ll like it!

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BUT!

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LL PSA Banner

As thousands of drivers plan to travel during the extended holiday weekend,  Local Police and State Troopers are also preparing to patrol in increased numbers to keep roads and highways safe for all drivers.

July 4 is Tuesday, allowing extra time for beach outings, cookouts and fireworks. This translates to increased traffic from Friday through the evening of July 4.

Many will be driving around  for Independence Day events and LEOs/state troopers will be conducting DUI roving patrols and spot checks over the holiday weekend.

Be smart, Wear Your Seat Belts, Don’t Drink & Drive, Don’t Text and Drive

Don’t wind up a sad statistic or make some innocent one with your careless unsafe actions. Remember when you do these things it’s not just you that get’s hurt or the people in the other car. Lives are ruined and families shattered by these events. Don’t be that person, the one that turns an annual holiday of fun and frolic into an annual day of mourning for a family.

Think And Act Responsibly This Independence Day Holiday Weekend!

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Jackie Evancho – God Bless America – A Capitol Fourth 2016

 

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Do you know why we’ve been able to celebrate Independence Day continually since 1777? Because of 240 years of guys like this defending us from all enemies foreign and domestic.

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AKA as a graphic demonstration of why fireworks are illegal in so many locals

Let the idiocy commence!

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And last but not least the Chief of the Village Idiots Tribe insure he won’t reproduce- ever

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PLEASE DO NOT TRY ANY OF THIS AT HOME!

THESE ARE CERTIFID MEMBERS OF THE SHALLOW END OF THE GENE POOL AND DARWIN APPROVED FOR COMEDIC/IRONIC REMOVAL FROM IT SINCE THEY SURVIVED THE CLORANATING OF THE GENE POOL.

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All week as I have been working on this issue I have been thinking about our country. Where and how we started, where we are now and how we got here and into the predicament(s)/situtations we currently find ourselves. Of our successes and failures that mark the mile stone between those two points.

I found myself smiling in pride many times, shaking my head in disbelief/disappointment at other times and occasionally, usually related to the last thirty to forty years of our history scowling in downright disgust and anger.

Impish’s wonderful thought/remarks, which were originally slated fill this spot were too good not to use as the opening remarks for this issue and I am glad I asked him to make some despite how busy, tired and feeling poorly he’s been over the last week. My hats off to you pal, hellova job buddy, even with the “hundred interruptions while writing it”!

His remarks also served as a sort of a flux to boil off the dross from my thoughts and help me distill down to the essence my thoughts of what I was feeling and thinking about America and it’s 241st Birthday on Tuesday so that I might express them without fumbling around too much.

Are we (America & Americans) perfect?  Hell no! But we’re pretty much the best shot around. We have one of the best standards of living, the greatest number of freedoms, and arguably the basis for the fairest judicial system in the world.

Have we made mistakes in the past?  Yes. There is no debating that fact. The more our government becomes less about “For the People, of the People and BY the People” the more we allow professional politicians run by Corporations and the rich with their own political agendas (i.e. George Soros) I fear the more often and bigger these will become too.

Will we make more in the future?  I’m not a seer, but I’d have to say resoundingly yes we will unfortunately. Such is the nature of being human, such is the nature of things when you allow those whose heart are filled with greed and a lust for power to govern and not repesent/ignore the will of the populace.

Is our Republic ailing? Definitely. It’s suffering from multiple forms of internal Cancer for want of a better term. The cancers are numerous, political (with both parties having plenty of blame for their stead fast refusal to work together as well as listen to what WE THE PEOPLE are telling them we want to see happen), Racial (I’m sorry but there are by far more nonwhite racists than there are white racists. The honest fact of the matter is those who scream RACIST! and point their finger the loudest/most often, are in fact the biggest ones of all, from what I have observed.)

I could name other internal cancers we are suffering but the last big one doing serious damage are Immigrants- both legal and illegal. Even if they are legal law abiding naturalized citizen many of these folks are doing serious damage to our country (primarily it’s identity).

I’m sorry but when Emma Lazarus wrote:

“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

She did not mean come the America and become a parasitic cultural infestation for your homeland.  America was meant to be a melting pot, our country’s motto “e pluribus unum” even means out of many, one. ONE nation, ONE identity, ONE people. When these people refuse to assimilate into our culture, refuse to learn our language, refuse to accept our values (especially after becoming naturalized citizens, which if you ask me voids their oath of citizenship) this injuries us as a people and a country. Honor your heritage sure- Lord knows I do. Worship the deity of your choice by all means, that is your right, but if you come here BY GOD you’d better be prepared to embrace fully what it means to be American and live the life and dream that is America.

In short love it believe in it, live it or get the hell out and go back to what ever third world hell hole spawned you and crow about your ethnicity there, you don’t deserve to be here because you don’t want to be an American you just long for our lifestyle.

Finally we also suffer from an external cancer as well, namely Terrorism by Radical Fundamentalist Groups, primarily Islamic but their are several other strains as well. Personally I blame this ailment on those who have in the past volunteered us as the World’s Police Force and currently as the UN who will oppose us at every turn but immediately turn to us as the solution for every problem. To these terrorists I simply say this-

We are not the problem. The world driven by rapidly advancing technology is changing. You cannot prevent it, nor will the worldwide society allow you to remain ignorant and quagmired 600 years in the past, oppressing an entire sex, demanding that the other 90% of the world join you or die by your sword(s), IEDs, etcetera. Your mantra of if you will not concede to our beliefs then you must suffer our pain WILL result in your extermination and the deeply regrettable deaths (these deaths are not our fault nor “on our heads as you like to play the pass the blame game but on yours owing to your reprehensible and cowardly actions) of those whom you would cowardly shield yourself behind counting on our superior moral values and belief in the sanctity of life to protect you.

Your best course of action is to leave us be. When attacked yes we bleed, yes you hurt us, yes you demoralize some of us and cause us difficulty, discomfort, inconvenience and the occasional restriction of one of our Constitutionally assured freedoms. However what you do most is ire a sleeping giant and fill us with resolve to respond and remove the threat to our way of life. So far we have shown a great deal of tolerance and restraint with you people. You may not see it that way or believe me but we have. If you don’t me ask the Japanese about attacking us, ask the North Vietnamese about carpet bombing.

The American economy is never so great as it is on a war footing when we are producing war materials to destroy a hated enemy. You would do well to fear us and pray that sleeping giant who you have been continually poking does not wake up because if/when he does we are going to go….

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What? HELLS NO I DIDN’T FORGET!

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New York City’s Fireworks Spectacular 4th of July 2016

 

The next one is very long so take a potty break, get a drink maybe a munchie then sit back and enjoy!

Macy’s NBC Firework full show 4th of July in HD

 

Impish will be with you on Wednesday, I’ll be back the following week on the 12th.

Have a safe, healthy and happy Independence Day weekend and remember if you’re still here Wednesday at noon you’re going to be press ganged into the clean up crew for the duration hang overs or no hang overs!

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Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Leprechaun Laughs # 399 for Wednesday June 28th 2017

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Let’s see the NSA listen in through that!

So I started this issue last Wednesday knowing I have 2 issues to do back to back (Wednesday & Saturday for Independence Day). Knocked out about a third of it too.

Came in Thursday and knocked out nearly the other two thirds before other matters demanded I stop working on the issue and again due to our on going problems with posting and WordPress I both saved it to my computer and posted to the blog as a draft. When I post to the blog, even as a draft I have it set to take me to the blog page once it’s done uploading so I can confirm it uploaded which it did.

Friday I came in with the intention of knocking out the last few things, polishing and writing this opening then uploading as a queued time delayed post. I opened the copy on my personal  lap top and started scrolling only to spot multiple place holders (those framed tiny black boxes with the white X that shows you there was a graphic there but you aren’t going to ever see it) ALL OVER the issue! EVERYTHING I had done on Thursday was missing! To make matters worse I had the previous night purged my email, tablet and phone as well as BOTH cloud sites I  use of all the graphics jokes and other things that were missing in one of my regular electronic  housekeeping sessions!

Seems like the NSA might not have thought my comment was any too funny so Big Brother reached out and  showed me so!

So if the issue seems a little light that and the fact I was reworking this issue while working the the Special Issue for the weekend is the reason why.

My advice? Think all the crap you want about our Government, but if you put it in text or photos be prepared to lose stuff because they ARE listening to us and apparently have absolutely NO sense of humor.

Thank God they can’t electronically mess with my coffee!

Porkys 3 D

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What does it say about our society that someone even has to come up with this sign let alone display it?

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CYber Security Alert

If your phone rings then stops, don’t call back – It’s a scam

I’m sure at some point you have received an annoying, unsolicited phone call from someone you don’t know. They seem to come at the worst possible moments too, like when we’re about to sit down for dinner.

Some of these unsolicited phone calls are going from annoying to malicious. You need to know about the latest phone scam making the rounds so you don’t make this simple mistake.

How scammers are sticking victims with fraudulent charges

What’s happening is, scammers are auto-dialing potential victims all across the U.S. Instead of waiting for the victim to answer, the scammer lets the phone ring just once and then hangs up. By doing this, a missed call message shows up on the victim’s cellphone.

What the fraudsters are hoping for is that the victim dials the number of the missed call. If you call the number, a pre-recorded message will play. It will say something like, “Hello. You’ve reached the operator, please hold.”

Not only will you be hit with an international rate fee, but you’ll also be charged a per-minute fee for the entire time you’re on the line. How this works is, the incoming number looks like it’s a typical U.S. phone number with a three-digit area code. However, the number is spoofed and is actually going to international numbers that are set up to charge anyone who calls them.

Read the rest of this warning, see those area codes and learn what to do here.

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And I though we were bad in Texas! Oh well, at least it a dry heat (Yeah right! Hot is hot)

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You’ve heard mention many times of Impish’s reclining/resting area in his office. Usually I refer to it as his dais. Well he recently had it redone when his virgins trashed his office looking for Valentine’s Day presents. Here it is as it appears now, less of course the reclining blue dragon atop it.

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I DARE her to say “My eyes are up here!” now!

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Comedic Political Commentary

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Politicians could do well to keep this in the forefront of their minds at all times.

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Sir Patrick Stewart’s hilarious cowboy classics

You might know him as Captain Picard from “Star Trek: The Next Generation” or Professor X from the “X-Men” series. But did you know that Sir Patrick Stewart has a pretty good singing voice? He filmed this parody to raise money for charity.

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Poor Frogger! They lied to him, he wasn’t even safe on the sidewalk!

Optical Delusions

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Or in my case the Independence Day Issue

Computer Leprechaun

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