Dragon Laffs #1919

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Good Morning Campers,5b

Well, another weekend where I am again working to secure your freedom from tyranny, the evil effects of the communist horde, and protecting you from Ralph Nader’s undue influence.   Who is Ralph Nader?  How young are you?  Who let the damn children in here?  Don’t they know this site is for

Adult (2)

Sigh … I try.  I truly do.  You work hard.  Do what you can to keep America safe for dragons and other mythological creatures … like all of you out there and what happens?  You end up with leadership in Washington that threatens to drop nukes on you for participating in the second amendment.  You get the Wicked Witch of the West who believes that everyone should do what she says … except her.  And you get the rest of the world laughing their asses off at us because they’re not stupid, nor are they blind.  Hell, even Al Qaeda is using us as examples as how a government can be taken over from within!

I swear, I’m trying.  Truly I am.  What more can a dragon do?  Maybe if I drank 0more … 

NO!  Not to forget!  Because, when dragons drink, they get mean and they tend to burn shit to the friggin’ ground.  And that could be very helpful right about now.  It could really clear some shit up.

And also, I could really use a drink right about now.

Anyway, enough of my complaining and bitching.  Time to do some laughter.

sign laff

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I don’t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything!  Like the fact that shirts have armholes!  I’ll be celebrating that tonight.

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Don’t look that way.  We all know that person.

Getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the titanic; and look what happened there.

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Me:  Should we have macaroni salad or potato salad at the BBQ?

Husband:  Can we talk about this when we’re not having sex?

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Do you ever just wanna grab someone by the shoulders, look them deep in the eyes and whisper, “No one gives a shit.”

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What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

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THIS is one of my favorite dragon pictures of all times.

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I tried starting a day without coffee once …

My court date is pending.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the pyramids look like from Cairo street.

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In an age of innocence, there will be those who excel at destruction. ~ Impish Dragon

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Here’s one worth watching:

https://patriotpost.us/videos/81197?mailing_id=5979&utm_medium=email&utm_source=pp.email.5979&utm_campaign=snapshot&utm_content=body

From what I understand, it’s already started in some counties …

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Being labeled a racist today is much like being labeled a witch in the middle ages. No evidence is required. It’s simply a weapon used to defeat people you don’t like. And the mobs of ignorant rioters never question it. As much as things change, things stay the same.

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Dear extroverts, you will survive this.  Dear introverts, quit laughing!  They’re new to this social distancing.

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Okay kids … what do you think it was originally for?

Know

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I saved someone’s life today.

Well…I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of this idiot…so pretty much the same thing.

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This is from Facebook page…

Top 10 list of America’s stupidity – as seen from Canada.

10. Only in America… Could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at a $35,000.00 a plate campaign fund-raising event.

9. Only in America… Could people claim that the government still discriminates against black Americans when they had a black President, a black Attorney General and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 14% of the population is black. 40+% of all federal entitlements goes to black Americans, 3X the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics.

8. Only in America… Could they have had the two people most responsible for our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the former head of the Treasury Department) and Charles Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.

7. Only in America… Can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed by the backlash.

6. Only in America… Would they make people who want to legally become American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who sneaks into the country illegally just ‘magically’ become American citizens.

5. Only in America… Could the people who believe in balancing the budget and sticking by the country’s Constitution be thought of as “extremists.”

4. Only in America… Could you need to present a driver’s license to cash a check or buy alcohol, but not to vote.

3. Only in America… Could people demand the government investigate whether oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when the return on equity invested in a major U.S. Oil company (Marathon Oil) is less than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).

2. Only in America… Could the government collect more tax dollars from the people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a trillion dollars more than it has per year – for total spending of $7 Million PER MINUTE, and complain that it doesn’t have nearly enough money.

1. Only in America… Could the rich people – who pay 86% of all income taxes – be accused of not paying their “fair share” by people who don’t pay any income taxes at all.

“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there would be a shortage of sand.”

~ Milton Friedman

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And that one got off easy!

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Someone in this world has consumed more mayonnaise than anyone else currently alive and they don’t even know it.

Or maybe they do know it…

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Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about.

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should be very ashamed you nasty little pervert.

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Motivate

Fail 10

Fail

Failure (2)

Failure

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fairies

Fairness

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FairPlay

Falling Rocks

False Advertising (2)

False Advertising 3

False Hope

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If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex, it’s fair to say his addiction got out of hand.

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If a 9 year old takes an anti-aging cream that makes them appear 10 years younger, do they disappear?

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And now … a brand new feature … to replace one we lost…

Interesting Maps

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Size Comparison Between Australia And The United States

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And that’s it for today my friends.  I am teaching class while you are reading this so have a bit of smiles for me.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1918

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Good Morning Campers,woman-warrior

01Well, it’s the morning after and man, do I have a case of the blahs!  Just wrung out, worn out and … plaugh!   But, it is good to note that all is well, so that knocks that out for another five years or so.  Or whenever my doc tells me it’s time to get a hose shoved up my behind again.

I gather I have quite the potty mouth when I come out from under sedation.  Mrs. Dragon says that I dropped the f-bomb in front of the nurses at least a dozen times that I don’t recall at ALL!  I’m a little embarrassed.  Apparently, I revert quite quickly to my Jersey/GI roots. 

I tried really hard to pay attention to the going under sedation part.  I told the anesthetist that I wanted to know when he started to put me under.  He told me it would be pretty quick.  I have this whole “consciousness” thing that I’m working on in my head right now.  Anyway, it was weird, I tried to hold on to that little piece of “me” … if you know what I mean.  You know, even when you are dreaming, you kind of know where “me” is.  But, it was weird.  I couldn’t do it.  It was like complete blankness.  And he was right, it was quick, but, it didn’t go all at once, like slamming a door.  It was slower like drawing a curtain.  And I could feel it come up over me and then the next thing I knew I was waking up.  Although, according to Mrs. Dragon, I had been awake and interacting with people WAY before I knew I was.  And using some pretty profane language to boot.

Oh well.  I’m sure they’ve heard worse.

Or at least as bad.

Or maybe similar.

I sure hope I didn’t curse in draconian.  That sometimes can leave a mark.

Well … anyway … I made it and I’m mostly healthy and all is well and it’s time to laugh about other things now.

lets laugh

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That’s about 174 pounds for us Americans …

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Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.

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As you all know, the  following is a HUGE hot button for me.  And here is another GREAT essay sent in by our own dear friend and fellow camper, Pete.  Thank you, Pete for sharing this with all of us. 

Take a knee…

Take a little trip to Valley Forge in January. Hold a musket ball in your Fingers and imagine it piercing your flesh and breaking a bone or two.

There won’t be a doctor or trainer to assist you until after the battle, so Just wait your turn. Take your cleats and socks off to get a real Experience.

Then, take a knee on the beach in Normandy where man after American man Stormed the beach, even as the one in front of him was shot to pieces, the Very sea stained with American blood. The only blockers most had were the dead bodies in front of them, riddled with bullets from enemy fire.

Take a knee in the sweat soaked jungles of Vietnam. From Khe Sanh to Saigon, anywhere will do. Americans died in all those jungles. There was no Playbook that told them what was next, but they knew what flag they Represented. When they came home, they were protested as well, and spit on for reasons only cowards know.

Take another knee in the blood drenched sands of Fallujah in 110 degree Heat. Wear your Kevlar helmet and battle dress. Your number won’t be printed on it unless your number is up! You’ll need to stay hydrated but There won’t be anyone to squirt Gatorade into your mouth. You’re on your Own.

There are a lot of places to take a knee where Americans have given their Lives all over the world. When you use the banner under which they fought As a source for your displeasure, you dishonor the memories of those who bled for the very freedoms you have. That’s what the red stripes mean. It represents the blood of those who spilled a sea of it defending your Liberty.

While you’re on your knee, pray for those that came before you, not on a manicured lawn striped and printed with numbers to announce every inch of ground taken, but on nameless hills and bloodied beaches and sweltering forests and bitter cold mountains, every inch marked by an American life Lost serving that flag you protest.

No cheerleaders, no announcers, no coaches, no fans, just American men and women, delivering the real fight against those who chose to harm us, blazing a path so you would have the right to “take a knee.” You haven’t any inkling of what it took to get you where you are, but your “protest” is duly noted. Not only is it disgraceful to a nation of real heroes, it serves the purpose of pointing to your ingratitude for those who chose to defend you under that banner that will still wave long after your jersey is retired.

If you really feel the need to take a knee, come with me to church on Sunday and we’ll both kneel before Almighty God. We’ll thank Him for preserving this country for as long as He has. We’ll beg forgiveness for our ingratitude for all He has provided us. We’ll appeal to Him for understanding and wisdom. We’ll pray for liberty and justice for all, because He is the one who provides those things. But there will be no Protest. There will only be gratitude for His provision and a plea for His continued grace and mercy on the land of the free and the home of the Brave.

Author unknown to me.

5b

I don’t deny you your right to protest, but not EVER during the playing of Our National Anthem!

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Um… no, never mind.  Go ahead, I’m curious to see the results.

I can eat sugar with either hand …

I’m ambidextrose!

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Yeah, but you know, if you gotta be …

Feet (noun) – a device used for finding Legos in the dark.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the Dark Hedges of Northern Ireland look like.

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Oh, by the way … I’m up to July 6th on my emails … which means I’m still 2 weeks behind!

Not me, but a friend worked in a call center for a credit card company in the disputes department.  The number one item people called to say they never purchased … “interest charge”.

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dragon pics

attacking castle gate

Is the Lady of the House home?

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Know

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Not surprising one single bit.

Thanks to Lynn for this one …

A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott in June 1849.

Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott.

Some said that Nott was not shot. But Shott says that he shot Nott.

It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell who was shot and who was not.

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I really have questions …

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Yes, I’m home … what do you want?

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Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers.

Yeah … maybe I’ll stick with that one …

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The fact that Hooters hasn’t launched a home delivery service called Knockers seems like a missed business opportunity to me.

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Okay … I am NOT claustrophobic, I mean, come on, I wear a gas mask for a living, but just watching this and thinking about it, freaks me OUT!!  It damn well better open up on the other side!

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F.Y.I. You pee on a jellyfish sting, not on a jelly stain.  Again, my apologies to the lady at the Waffle House this morning.

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Survival Tip:  If you get lost in the woods, start talking about politics and someone will show up to argue with you.

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Weird Fact

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The number of bourbon barrels in Kentucky outnumbers the state’s population by more than two million.

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motivate

Face it

face palm

Facebook

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facepaw

fact

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Imagine how much sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip-flops.

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Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

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So, apparently 50% of homeowning is hearing strange noises and hoping they are made by ghosts because I can’t afford to fix them.

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If they want to change “mom” to “birthing person” what are they going to call fathers, “fertilizers?”

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And this is what “true friends” do to one another.

Never blame someone else for the road you’re on.

That’s your own asphalt.

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How to cook crack and clean a crab

Step one: Use commas

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The inventor of spellcheck has died.

His funnel is tomato.

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If loving books is a crime … I’m looking at life without parole.

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Parenting Expert:  Children model the behavior they see.

Me:  False!  They see me clean, but they do not clean.

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1998:  Don’t get in a car with strangers.

2008:  Don’t meet people from the internet alone.

2019:  Uber … Order yourself a stranger from the internet to get into a car with alone.

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“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because … they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” ~ Steven Alexander Wright

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And that my dear friends, is that.  Another one bites the dust.  And this one is put to rest.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.  Much love and happiness to you all, until next time.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Dragon Laffs #1917

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Good Morning Campers,450

Yes, it is a bit of a strange header … but as you are reading this, I will be in an operating room somewhere with a camera shoved up my bum.  I’m sure the prep will be exciting on Sunday, which is why I’m writing this issue on Friday and Saturday.  I can hardly wait. 

I’m so excited …

I’m enthusiastic …

Do I sound truthful?

Good, cause I’m NOT!

I’m not allowed to eat anything on Sunday.  I’m allowed broth and ice pops and crap like that.  I can’t even have cream in my coffee!!!  What kind of savages have we become?!?!

Then of course nothing after midnight and my procedure isn’t even until afternoon on Monday.  This will be exciting for the doctor.

A non-caffeinated, non-cigared dragon on a Monday morning?  He’s a dead man.  He has no idea what awaits him … but then again, this is a man who looks up people’s asses for a living.  I imagine he’s probably seen it all.  What more could one little dragon offer? 

I guess we’re going to find out …

So…while we get ready for this … procedure.  Let’s do some laughing first, shall we?  Cause really, can you imagine anything funnier than a dragon with a tube shoved up his … anyway, let’s laugh.

Untitled-08

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Common Sense is not a gift, it is a punishment.

Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

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The path of inner peace begins with four words …

Not My Fucking Problem

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One door closes and another one opens.

One door closes and another one opens.

One door closes and another one opens.

Me – eating my way through a chocolate advent calendar.

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Before coffee: I hate everyone

After coffee:  I feel good about hating everyone

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Don’t believe everything you read in a public toilet.  Sharon is not up for a good time.

What an awkward phone call that was…

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I have questions…

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Dragon Pix

bookwyrm2merrilywm

Yes, as a matter of fact, that IS a game that we play…

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Weird Fact

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The entire town of Whittier, Alaska lives under one roof.

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Our dear friend and fellow camper Dave sent me this advice …

When you go for your colonoscopy, as long as when you ask where to put your pants, the doctor doesn’t say, “next to mine”, you’ll be okay.

And as long as there isn’t a disco ball in the ceiling …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3Bqn05VNXQ

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Leah D answered our Florida Man quiz…

Florida Man February 23 “Florida Man Makes Ghostly Guitar From His Metal Head Uncle’s Skeleton”.

Not bad Leah … I personally don’t think it beats my December 24th one, that, if you don’t remember was … Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket … Yeah, I’m gonna stick with mine.  What are we talking about?  Well, if you missed our last episode, the game is this:

Go to Google and type in: Florida man and your birthday, like Lynn did who originally sent this in:

Florida Man November 19

A Florida man has been arrested for having sex with a miniature horse on multiple occasions, deputies say

And I say I have the top winner.  So far, I’ve done Mrs. Dragon:

Florida man ticketed after eating pancakes in middle of intersection

And Izzy Dragon:

Naked Florida man causes fire while baking cookies on George Foreman Grill

So, there is a challenge on the table, the gauntlet has been dropped, the flag has been … um … waved … or whatever.  Come one folks, show us what you got!

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Not a youngster out there will probably be able to identify what they even are!!

Fantasy

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What drones look like in my world.

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Know

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Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol!

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Okay, I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking impressed!

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Motivate

exorcism

Expendability

Experts

Explaination

Explanation

Explosives

Extreme hobbies

Extreme Tank Sports

Exuberance

F the systsem

Fabulous

Face Finder

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Hats off to the waiter who kept a straight face as my 5 year old ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.

Now that’s a professional!

My daughter (not Izzy, my other daughter) once, a long, long time ago, when I was a young airman, sitting in an air force base hospital pediatrics clinic almost caused a colonel’s wife to cry.  Now, please excuse me ladies, for I must use a word that I don’t like to use.  It’s a vulgar word for a beautiful part of the body.  Or, it’s used to describe a horrible person when bitch just isn’t strong enough.  Anyway, my daughter had been telling us that she was missing her cunt and she couldn’t find it anywhere.  It was black and furry and it was missing.  And we, for the life of us had no idea what she was talking about.  Well, that was the back story.  Now, to the making of wives cry.

Like I said, we were in this waiting room.  All these parents with children on their laps.  Some in uniform, like I was, who had taken time off of work to take their child to the base clinic.  The room was full, so children were on laps and everyone was on their best behavior because they were either seriously out-ranked, like I was, or setting good examples for the younger troops.

Well, my daughter and I were looking at a picture book with animals in it and she was telling me what all the animals were.  Oh, I suppose I should tell you that she was about 2 or 3 years old at this point.  And I turned the page and she pretty much yells at the top of her lungs, “THERE IT IS DADDY!  THERE’S MY CUNT!  THERE’S MY CUNT THAT I LOST!!!  IT’S RIGHT THERE!!  THERE’S MY CUNT!!!

Well, after all the gasps and the “Oh, my”s and of course all the stern looks from the higher ranking people in the room, which, of course was just about every single one of them and them trying to look over and see what my patches were so they knew what squadron I was in and what my name tape said so that they could shoot me at dawn at the very least.  I turned to my little girl and said, “No sweetheart, that is a skunk.”

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My daughter once summarized a 10 minute story in 4 hours

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Breathtaking

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This is what Venice looks like from above.

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I know, right?

And from brother Wheats:  “He’s so stupid he could fuck up an anvil with a rubber hammer.”

I really kinda like that one.

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My 5 year old is convinced that she has a super power.

The super power is that she can smell ants.

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Political

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Only a fool would give up a weapon in order for the government to protect them.

The government cannot even stop a telemarketer.

 

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And one more point …

If you MUST burn OUR flag, please do us a favor and wrap yourself in it first!

And now, on our way out the door and while I’m prepping for this damn colonoscopy…

Last Word

Let’s start with a little essay that you’ve probably seen before

Price Of Freedom

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence? 

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors and tortured before they died. 

Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned. 

Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured. 

Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War. 

They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor. 

What kind of men were they? 

Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.

Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well-educated. 

But they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured. 

Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags. 

Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly. He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward. 

Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton. 

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson Jr, noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters.  He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt. 

Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.  The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months. 

John Hart was driven from his wife’s bedside as she was dying. Their 13 children fled for their lives.  His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste.  For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished. A few weeks later he died from exhaustion and a broken heart. 

Norris and Livingston suffered similar fates. 

Such were the stories and sacrifices of the American Revolution. 

These were not wild-eyed, rabble-rousing ruffians. They were soft-spoken men of means and education. They had security, but they valued liberty more.  Standing tall, straight, and unwavering, they pledged:

“For the support of this declaration, with firm reliance on the protection of the divine providence, we mutually pledge to each other, our lives, our fortunes, and our sacred honor.” 

They gave you and me a free and independent America.

The history books never told you a lot about what happened in the Revolutionary War.  We didn’t fight just the British.  We were British subjects at that time and we fought our own government!  Some of us take these liberties so much for granted, but we shouldn’t. 

Remember: freedom is never free!

Take a minute to think about what these patriots went through, what they fought for, what they sacrificed.  And now ask yourself what you are willing to go through, what are you willing to fight for, and what are you willing to sacrifice now? 

And even a bigger question…do you think that the representatives that we have in Washington and in our State Capitals are willing and able to do the things that these patriots did?  And if not … shouldn’t they be?

Cheers my friends,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Dragon Laffs #1916

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Good Morning Campers,

Okay, after about 48 hours or work, fighting with programs and removing and installing programs over and over again, I think I finally figured out what the problem was … and the problem was … Impish Dragon is a friggin’ IDIOT!!!!!  My storage space on Word Press was full.  I deleted some stuff so I could get some more stuff on there and it all worked out.  The problem was that there was nothing anywhere that told me that was the problem!  So, over the last 15 years I’ve uploaded like 100,000 images and they are all still on my site, taking up room.  So, I’ve only deleted a few, I’ve got to go through and make some serious room, but that will take some time.  Right now, I’ve got to put together a NEW issue, try to catch things up, get ready for my colonoscopy on Monday, go to the doctor this afternoon, go buy a new over the range microwave later today and finish celebrating my wedding anniversary this weekend! 

Whew!  Just a couple of things going on!

Yup, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Mrs. Dragon and I!  26 years!  How in the world she has put up with me all this time is amazing, but she has.

And again this year, like every other year on our anniversary something in the house has died.  Every, single year something happens on our anniversary.  You guys remember the great refrigerator and range debacle of last year, right?  The year before it was several deaths in the family.  The year before that it was the car.  The year before that we bought the house.  … Every single year … This year it is our over the range microwave, with the stove vent and light and all that.  Well, $400 is better than $2000 like last year, I guess.

Anyway, Let’s hope all this works and I really have figured all this out, in the meantime, …

let's laugh

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Wow!  I just realized I’m answering emails from June 28th …. yeah …. I’m a little behind.

The amount of people who don’t know the difference between to and too is two damn high

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Re-post this if there is someone still alive today because you don’t want to go to prison.

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Breathtaking

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This is what a castle on an island in Ireland looks like.

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A lady walked by me and said, “no mask?”  I said, “no panties, either.”  That shut her up.  Don’t play with me, Karen.

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If you haven’t read the book, you won’t get the joke.

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dragon pix

Bob

 

Celebrating our Irish heritage

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I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

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My coffee was so dark,  a demon mistook it for a portal to hell.  Long story short:  I need a new mug, a mop, and maybe an exorcism.

Know

580

581

Some people are like a diaper.  Self absorbed and full of shit.

9672

9673

fantasy

f2017031001

The street lights around here are way cool.

9674

9675

Interviewer:  What did you like best about your last job?

Me:  Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake.

9676

9677

Saying you’re a night owl is redundant because owls are nocturnal.  Unless of course you’re saying you’re a knight owl.  Like Sir Hoot of Mousehuntingshire.  That would make sense.

9678

9679

My neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana.

Guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was.

motivational

Every Shower

every slice of bread

Every

everybody

Everything was going great

Evolution

excellence

Excessive Hoarding

Excited Anticipation

Excuses

Excuses2

exercise

9680

9681

If it’s the thought that counts …

… Then I should probably be in jail.

9682

9683

You know nothing about a woman …

Until she’s drunk and mad at you.

9684

9685

Nurse:  What happened to your fingers?

Me:  You know those chefs who cut up vegetables real fast?

Nurse:  Yes?

Me:  I can’t do that.

9686

9687

God grant me a vacation to make bearable what I can’t change.

A friend to make it funny

and the wisdom to never get my knickers in a knot

because it solves nothing and makes me walk funny.

9688

9689

I whatever’d when I should have oh hell no’ed.

9690

9691

Okay … Lynn sent me this.  First of all I’m going to print this exactly as she sent it and then I’m going to do what she said and see what happens.

Weird stuff happens everywhere, it just seems to happen more often in Florida.

Speaking of Florida, everybody Google ‘Florida man’ followed by their birthday (example Florida man January 27th) and see what crazy headline you get.

Florida Man November 19

A Florida man has been arrested for having sex with a miniature horse on multiple occasions, deputies say

And now my turn:

Florida Man December 24 … and okay, I win!

Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket

Mrs. Dragon’s was so tame in comparison:

Florida man ticketed after eating pancakes in middle of intersection

And Izzy Dragon’s falls right smack dab in between the two of us:

Naked Florida man causes fire while baking cookies on George Foreman Grill

And if you think you’ve got one that beats mine … send it in!

Weird Fact

450a

The one-woman town of Monowi, Nebraska is the only officially incorporated municipality with a population of 1. The sole, 83-year-old resident is the city’s mayor, librarian, and bartender.

  9692

9693

For English language lovers.  What is the difference between “Completed” and “Finished”?  No dictionary has been able to define the difference between “Complete” and “Finished.”  But, in a linguistic conference in England, Sun Sherman, an Indian American, was the clever winner.  His response: When you marry the right woman, you are “Complete.”  If you marry the wrong woman, you are “Finished.”  And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman, you are “Completely Finished.”  His answer received a five minute standing ovation.

9694

9695


If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. ~ Cheshire Cat

9696

9697

9698

9699

9700

9701

9702

Could you sleep in this bed?

9703

Okay… well, there’s a complete issue and by all indications, it should post, so if you are reading this, it means you’ve made it to the end of the edition and it did indeed post and all is well with the world.  If you are not reading this, than it means that it didn’t work and … well … you aren’t reading it, so what difference does it make.  Although, if it doesn’t work, you can probably hear me screaming, so you can probably figure it out.

Anyway, I’m just wasting time, so, thanks for all your patience and understanding.  Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Okay, I don’t understand

I just spent 3 days working on an issue … a really good issue … and it won’t load.  I have no idea why it won’t load, but it won’t friggin’ load.  So, I’m going to try again tomorrow, the day that this is supposed to be published, and see if I can get it to work.  If it won’t, I’ll probably have to start over again from scratch, which means that you guys may not get an issue until Saturday … I don’t know.  But, after the day I’ve had, my frustration level is through the roof.

Anyway, let’s see if this one works.  I guess, if you’re reading this, it does, if not … then I don’t have anything to worry about anyway.

Love you all.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon.

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment