Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

It’s Monday … already … and it’s time to get ready for another work week.  A short work week, but another work week just the same.  This week has a very special holiday in it.  Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays.  Not just because turkey with stuffing happens to be like one of my favorite meals of all times (and Mrs. Dragon makes like THE BEST turkey EVER!!!) but because it makes us take a day out of our busy year special to stop and think about all the things that we are thankful for.  That’s not going to be easy to do this year, but here at the Dragon household, we are going to give it a try and here at Dragon Laffs, we’re going to give it a try, also.

But, that’s for another issue.  For this issue, we’ve got all kinds of fun stuff planned for you today.  I’ve actually got a weekend off to work on this issue and maybe … MAYBE … we can do a bit more than just throw some jokes and cartoons at you.  Now wouldn’t that be a fun thing to do?  Yes, I know it’s been a while since you guys have gotten a real issue and I apologize for that, but we all do what we can do.   And sadly, Impish has got responsibilities beyond taking care of you guys.  I know that’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth.  Maybe someday, you guys will be all I have to worry about because I will have hit the lottery and will be independently wealthy!  Oh … wait … I guess you actually have to PLAY the lottery in order to WIN the lottery.  Well shit!  That let’s that idea out.  Hmmm.  How about … a rich relative dies and leaves me his vast fortunes!  No … that won’t work.  I don’t have any rich relatives.  Well, that just leaves you guys.  We have 454 followers, in order to supplement my income … with retirement … and Social Security … you guys are gonna have to come up with … let’s see … carry the one … um … never mind. There’s no way you guys are gonna pay that a year, much less every month.  Sigh.  I guess we’ll just have to keep going the way we’re going.  Keep fighting the good fight and knowing that we’re making a difference in a few lives out there somewhere.  And that, my dear campers, is what really matters.  So long as I keep getting the occasional email or comment that says, hey Impish.  I really look forward to seeing your issue, or something you said really mattered to me, or you made me laugh today, then that’s what really counts.  When that stops happening, then I guess that’s when I’ll think about hanging all this up.

And that ain’t today.

So, let’s get this party started!

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” ~ Robert Heinlein.  They are out there and they vote.

In regards to the whole drugs in Oregon conversation we’ve been having, Sasquatch writes:

Sasquatch

So if I understand correctly, in Oregon cocaine is legal but straws aren’t?

Yeah, that’s what it seems like.  I’m not saying it makes sense, nor that I agree with it by any stretch of the imagination … but that is what it seems like.

And the left now want to decriminalize everything, as well as get rid of prison…so we have THAT to look forward to.

A Little Known Fact … Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

I got on YouTube just to watch a music video and 5 hours later, there I am watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe.

The Impish Dragon Residence this Thursday, but only because Impish REALLY likes Turkey.

And Stephanie sent us this picture of the “Get Off My Lawn 3000”

Perched high above the mountain top, Impish Dragon surveys his surrounding kingdom, majestic in his … oh, who are we kidding, he’s stoned again.

If a man says you’re ugly, he’s being mean.

If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s envious.

If a little kid says you’re ugly, you’re ugly.

 

Stupid people are like glow sticks:

I want to snap them and shake them until the light comes on!

 

It is scientifically proven that women can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches … and it doesn’t matter if it’s a Visa or a MasterCard.

So, we all know that Stephanie is rumored to be a tough chick…and I’m not saying that this is a portrait of her … mostly cause I don’t want to get my ass shot, so I’ll leave up to the reader to connect the dots.

 

The body of the average military veteran is 28% Ibuprofen.

 

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize.  I honestly didn’t think you could read. 

Damn!

From Des Moines, Iowa comes the story of bozo Stephen Harrigan who held up a convenience store, getting away with a small amount of cash. Unfortunately in the confusion our bozo left his wallet behind at the scene of the crime, an oversight he discovered a few minutes later. And since he was still in the neighborhood, he decided to try to retrieve it. As he walked back into the store, he overheard the clerk on the phone to the police, describing him as five foot ten and 38 years old. “I’m six two,” our bozo shouted, “And I’m 34 years old.” The bozo was still trying to get the facts straight when the cops showed up and arrested him.

My son, Luke, loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.

My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.

In other news … the Seven Dwarfs have been advised that as of today, they can only meet in groups of six.  One of them isn’t Happy.

Yes!  Yes you should!

I don’t know how to us TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands … so there’s that.

Be sure to bring up politics at Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s going to save you money on Christmas gifts.  Follow me for more cost saving holiday tips.

Yes, I’m politically Incorrect.  And there is a damn good reason for that.  I think that this STUPID BITCH is not only a fucking moron, I think she is a dangerous fucking moron because she is gathering a group of other fucking morons around her who are as stupid as she is!  It is mind blowingly unbelievable to me that anyone with a half an ounce of brains voted for her and even more unbelievable to me that she has managed to keep herself alive past the age of a parent feeding her because I don’t believe she’s bright enough to successfully use a knife a fork.  But, maybe Pelosi spends the time she’s not in a beauty salon feeding her … who knows. 

I don’t doubt it.

I don’t doubt that either …

YES, WE KNOW!!!!

An Irish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. 
She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. 
” Monday ‘s the best night, when my husband goes out to darts,” she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday . After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didn’t have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. 
He didn’t believe her, so she said: ” Next Monday ,when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.”
So, the following Monday , while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked,
“Do you shave?”
“No,” replied the girl. “I’ve just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?”
“Oh, yes,” said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department. The girl finished her bath and went to bed.
Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, “Did you see it?”
“Yes,” he said, “but why the hell did you have to show her yours.”
“Why ever are you worried about that?” she said. “You’ve seen it often enough before.”
“I know,” he said, “but the darts team hadn’t!”

Do midgets only have to stand 3 feet apart?  Asking for a friend.

I have to admit, I laughed so hard at this.

And I’m afraid that has to be it for today my friends.  I’ve run out of time.  I’ve got to get things done and ready for Thursday and for work tomorrow and … and … and … there’s always something else to do or something else going on.

But that’s life and that’s what we have to work with.  Love and happiness to you all until we meet again.

Good Morning Campers,

Today is Friday and I’ve taken the day off today because I’ve already worked too many hours this week and because I have a bunch of appointments today.  Well, I just got a call and because of COVID my afternoon appointment was just canceled.  My dental appointment is still on, which is a shame since I woke up feeling like crap.  Oh well … onward and upward I guess. 

So, not much else to talk about.  New COVID vaccine on the horizon … we’ll see.  The way 2020 has been going, it will prevent the virus and turn us all into zombies as a side effect.

So, we really need to get to laughing.  Really.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Indianapolis, Indiana where bozo Clarence Thompson learned the hard way that you shouldn’t always take police officers at their word. Our bozo was a known character around town and one time while talking to officers patrolling the area he told them to give him a call if they ever had any extra drugs to sell. Deciding to take him up on his offer, the cops made that call a couple of days later. Our bozo set up a meeting and when the cops pulled up he hopped in the back of the black and white cruiser, and offered to buy 56 grams of cocaine. The officers made the arrest without ever leaving their car.

And that is one of the ways that we will fix the world.

Friends don’t tell friends that 1980 was 40 years ago.

I only do what the voices in my wife’s head tell her to tell me to do.

There are times I miss you so much.  I wish I could remember where I hid your body.

I can’t do anything right till I have smoked a coffee and had a cup of cigarette.

If you see someone smiling before 9 a.m. …

… Kill them and burn the body.  It’s a fucking demon.

If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don’t think this relationship is going to work.

Ever look at your best friend and wonder why the hell you aren’t comedians?

Yup … miss you Lethal…

“Yes dear, the new curtains in the dining room look really nice.”

I’m bored.  I think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on.

I might wake up early and go running.  I also might wake up and win the lottery.  The odds are about the same.

An old black and white photograph of my grandparents back in the day.

My boss said, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”

Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as batman.

If your cup is only half full, you probably need a different bra.

I always carry a knife in my purse.  You know … in case of cheesecake or something.

That Moment when you talk to Yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you are just so Hilarious.

How many times do I have to say, “Excuse me” before “Get the fuck out of the way” becomes acceptable?

“I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved, winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs.  When I was on drugs, I couldn’t even find my bike.” ~ Willie Nelson

You know how they throw the ball into the crowd after they win the game?  That’s not allowed in bowling.  I know that now.

“So, what do you want for Christmas?”

“Well, lately I’ve been really into groceries and gas.  Utilities are cool.  Stuff like that.”

No, but we seem to keep voting it into office.

Here’s an oldie but goodie from Leah…just in time for the holidays …

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in……………….…..”

I don’t know … that guy just looks way too happy…

This next one comes to us from dear Stephanie … I really think she might be a spy.

Men’s Rules in life …….

Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss’ car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
e. When she is using her teeth

Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate’s fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate’s birthday is strictly optional.

On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.

You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both – that’s just mean.

If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.

Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.

 

 

And that my friends completes today’s issue.  And I must dash out the door to my next appointment.  May your day be filled with happiness, joy, and, of course, lots of laughter.

Good Morning Campers,

Today should be Thursday … if you are reading this on the day this should come out.  Lots of ifs in there… but since I’m starting this on Monday and this is a crazy week already, there is no telling how this is going to work out.  But, with a little bit of luck and if the sea doesn’t rise, this should all work out so that … yes, today is Thursday.  So … Happy Thursday!

Other than that, I got nuttin.

So, my suggestion is that each of you grab your favorite morning beverage, be it coffee or something a wee bit stronger and let’s get the laughter started cause we all know that’s what we all need at this point in time.

Did You Know:  There is a word in the dictionary spelled incorrectly.  That was terrible!

There is a special place in Stupid Hell for people like you.

Did You Know:  Sirius, the dog star, is moving closer to Earth at a rate of nine miles per second.  This means someday, we could be in Sirius trouble.  That one was worse.

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

“Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk.

“Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady.

So?  How do you spend your Saturday nights?

“Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.”

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

“Reverend,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.”

The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.”

Mother Nature’s family portrait.

From Leah D:

Dear Mother Nature,

Having received my free sample of winter I would like to cancel the remainder of my subscription.

Thank you

My wife and I went to the auction in Paris Kentucky the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

‘THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ……smiled and said, ‘He mated 50 times last year, that’s almost once a week.’

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, ”THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR’

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, ‘WOW~~That’s more than twice a week ! ………..You could learn a lot from him.’

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, ‘THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR

‘My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, ‘That’s once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.’

I looked at her and said,

‘Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow.’

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

I’m watching this show for like, 10 minutes and the lady is listing all these really great things to do.  Then I realize it’s the Religious Channel and she was listing sins.

And with that bit of stupidity, we’ll end here for the day.  I hope you all have had a great laugh or three.  Until we meet again. 

Good Monday Morning Campers,

I know that sounds a bit oxymoronic, but there you have it.  It is Monday and we need to do the best we can with that.  I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.  I had a good Sunday, I spent most of my day working on Dragon Laffs and relaxing after working on Saturday and a long week, I hope to take a little extra time off this coming week to make up for it, but I don’t have high hopes.

But, for now, let’s all sit back, grab a cup of what’s best for us and …

Oh my dear Lord!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Christopher Lowell of Honolulu, Hawaii who passed along today’s story. Officer Lowell works as a traffic investigator with the Honolulu Police Department and related this from personal experience. It seems the officer contacted a bozo who was suspected of being involved in a hit and run accident. When the bozo called Officer Lowell back it was after hours, so the bozo left the following message on police department voice mail. “Hello, this is Mr. Yamamoto. I just want you to know that I wasn’t involved in any accident and I don’t know what this is all about. Besides, after I hit the guy I didn’t notice any damage to my car…and…I mean…oh, Hell, how do I erase this….aaaaarrrrgggghhhh….>click

At what point can we just start using 2020 as a swear word?

As in:

“What a load of 2020.”

“What the 2020?”

“Absa-2020-lutely!”

The Bozo criminal for today receives the Bozo Ultimate Double-Solid-Gold Bad Timing Award. From Winston-Salem, North Carolina comes the story of a bozo claiming to be Jerry Cain who walked into a bank and tried to open an account. He had a birth certificate, social security card, even a bottle of prescription medicine with the name Jerry Cain on it. Even with all this information, the teller refused to open an account for our bozo. What he didn’t know was that of all the banks in the city, the bozo had chosen the bank that Melinda Cain worked at — she is the late Jerry Cain’s widow. The bozo had used information from Mr. Cain’s obituary to obtain his social security number and birth certificate and then he had the unfortunate luck of walking up to Mrs. Cain’s window at the bank. Incredibly, Mrs. Cain stayed calm and stalled the bozo while another employee called the cops. The bozo was still arguing with Mrs. Cain claiming to be Mr. Cain when police arrived.

COVID is hitting everywhere really hard right now.  They are talking about not letting people get together for the holidays and Leah D wrote in the comments that it is so bad where she is that for the first time they have adult patients in the children’s ICU.

I track the numbers here in Indiana as part of my job and I’ve seen a huge uptick in both state numbers and in the local numbers (the counties around where I work) but I don’t think it’s beyond our expectations.  This virus likes the cold…and the cold weather has shown up now.  So, the virus is more prevalent.  They say they have a vaccine that is supposed to 90% effective.  We’ll see.  It’s a virus, it mutates.  Just like the flu. 

Now, violence and protests erupt overnight last night in Washington after the million MAGA march yesterday.  The whole world is going to hell in a hand basket.  We need to laugh some more.  Damn, even dance class is getting tough:

And Aussie Pete is sending us translations:

Okay, that’s not right!  Bugger Off means to Rack Off and Rack Off means to Get Nicked, so does Bugger Off mean to Get Nicked?  Aussie Pete is going to tell me no.  I just know he is.

I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

The Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File. From Amsterdam, The Netherlands, comes the story of a bozo criminal who stole the hubcaps off a woman’s car. A week later the woman received a package at her home containing the hubcaps with an enclosed note which said, “You’re lucky. They didn’t fit.” The bozo wasn’t so lucky. He put his return address on the outside of the package.

When I was little, I used to throw these really bad temper tantrums …

Yes, I know it’s been done before, but it’s such a good one.

You know you’re getting older when “Friends with Benefits” means having someone who can drive at night.

Two little boys were at a wedding when one of them leaned over and whispered to the other and asked, “How many wives can a man have?”

His friend answered, “Sixteen … four better, four worse, four richer, four poor.”

Damn!  How did a picture of my ex get in there?

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”

“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said.  “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No,”  He said.  “A normal person would pull the plug.  Do you want a bed near the window or the door?”

Oregon sounds like an interesting place to have lunch.

Remember when people had diaries and got mad when someone read them?  Now they put everything online and get mad when people don’t.

When a male Octopus finds a mate, he rips off his penis and throws it at the female Octopus so she can inseminate herself.  Then the male grows a new penis.  If that isn’t the most epic way to tell someone to go Fuck Yourself, I don’t know what is!

And you can’t come up with the more perfectly epic place to end an issue then right there!  That’s it for me today guys, I’m outta here.  Gonna spend the rest of the day listening to the wind blow and relaxing.

Good Morning Campers,

Today is Saturday … well, actually, today is Wednesday, but you are reading this on Saturday, therefore, today is Saturday and while you are reading this I am teaching CBRN Defense Training to a bunch of Air Force GIs on an Alternate Unit Training Assembly (UTA). 

Our Governor just announced that he will be enacting more lock downs, this time by county and some media outlets, including the New York times, are now describing the mounting evidence of voter fraud on a massive scale as  “factually accurate misinformation.”  Can someone please tell me what the fuck “factually accurate misinformation” is?

A well understood, and agreed upon lie?

A well played collaborative fraud?

Yes, dark rainy clouds …

That’s my mood and I’m sticking with it.  So, as you can see, laughter … lots and lots of laughter.  It is sorely needed, hopefully not as much over the next couple of days as it is right now, but boy oh boy is it needed right now, so let’s see if there isn’t something we can do about that.

 

If there is anybody alone and have no one to spend Thanksgiving with this year, please let me know.

I need to borrow some chairs.

The Bozo criminals for this morning come from the International File. From Ishioka, Japan comes the story of two teenage would be bank robbers, a 17 year old male and his 16 year old female companion. The two enter a bank with the boy brandishing a pair of kitchen knives as weapons. At first, the boy threatened a customer, but the customer just ignored him and walked away. Our bozo then turned to the teller. Just as he begins to threaten the teller, his girlfriend starts telling him what a bad job he is doing of being a bank robber. The two lovebirds then get into a heated argument. So heated, in fact, that they don’t even notice the teller set off the silent alarm. When police arrived, our bozo robber was standing in the middle of the bank, screaming for someone, anyone, to give him some money, while his girlfriend urged him to hurry up.

 

Impish Dragon Quote of the Day:

The reason I am old and wise is because God protected me when I was young and stupid.

 

Really Bad Analogies Written by High School Students

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
2. he was as tall as a 6’ 3” tree.
3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
4. From the attic came an unearthly howl.  The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 pm instead of 7:30.
5. John and Mary had never met.  They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
8. He was a lame as a duck.  Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame.  Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
11. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
12. The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

Did You Know:  Hey!  You’re back!  Type O Blood was actually meant to be Type Zero Blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells.  It was misread and is now called Type “O” blood.  I guess you could call it a typo.  Oh that was awful!

Got this really nice comment from Leah D. on Wednesday’s Veterans Day issue:

Leah D

I was in my 30’s before I went to college. People tended to group with others who came from the same Country, Religion, spoke a language no one else understood . . . one of the later groups, was the Veterans.

It’s amazing how we clump together sometimes.  I’ll meet someone, hit it off with them and only find out later on that we have that one little thing in common … when it was actually pretty obvious the whole time.

It’s B-E-F-O-R-E, not B4.  We speak English, not BINGO.

Sometimes napping with your sweetie is the best thing to do on a warm Saturday afternoon

The economy is bad, if the bank returns your check marked “insufficient funds”, you call and ask if they meant you or them.

Gotta love James Woods …

I can’t dance to save my life, but when I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson.

My sister-in-law … yeah, she’s a little on the weird side.

You can’t truly call yourself an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes its layout.

Which mine recently did and I recently did.

I don’t “rise and shine”.

I caffeinate and hope for the best.

Did You Know: IKEA is an acronym for Ingvar Kamprad Elmtard Agunnaryd, which is the founder’s name, the farm where he grew up, and his hometown. 

2 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT ME:

1) My penis is not as long as a foot long subway sub

2) I’m banned for life from Subway

Some days even the devil sits back and admires my work.

Amen!

A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, “We don’t serve bacteria in this place.”

The bacteria said, “But I work here, I’m staph.”

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people.

We haven’t met yet.

 

And speaking of groceries, that’s it for me folks, cause I’ve got to run out to the store before they close cause the Dragon household needs stuff and since I’m working tomorrow and will have the car, it needs to be tonight.  So, that’s it for me for now, hope you all have a wonderful weekend.  Love and wellness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon