Dragon Laffs #2067


Good Morning Campers,

Another of those instances of not enough time and too much to say.  Monday I had to work all day and then went right to my final Group Grief Therapy Session.  Kind of bitter sweet.  It was an excellent class.  I loved everyone who was there.  I’m glad it was over, but at the same time, I wish it wasn’t.  I can take the entire 13 week course again if I want to.  The next session starts on like September 12 or 22 or something like that, but I don’t think I am going to.  I think I am more interested in starting my own group on base. 

And then Tuesday, last night, I took Izzy Dragon to her concert last night.  Concert was supposed to start at 8 pm, with the doors opening at 7.  We got there at 615, and it being like an hour and a half away and having to stop for dinner, means we left the house around 4 ish.  The concert (Oliver Tree?  Any of you ever heard of this guy?  Nope, me neither) was supposed to let out around 10, didn’t let out until 1145, we didn’t get home until after 130 in the morning.  No, I  didn’t go in to the concert, I stayed in the car. 

So, this evening we have a doctor’s appointment and my other church meeting and in-between all of this I’m trying my best to put a Dragon Laffs issue together for you guys for tomorrow morning.  AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Right?

So, without further ado, let’s get to the fun stuff and see if we can add some other stuff as we go along, shall we? 

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE AT THE LAUNDROMAT USING THEIR NEW IPHONE 13

You could’ve bought a washer and dryer for the same price.

Oh, and look!  They deliver!

I post a lot of stupid, silly crap on here for one reason…

So that you might forget about your problems and laugh, or at least smile, for a moment or two. That is what makes me happy!

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent.
Stomach:  I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale…

“You call that a defensive play?!  That was awful!  My grandmother could have hit that guy harder than you!!”  — Dragon Coaches

That TV will fit just right in the Cave over the fireplace

In The Wisdom of Solomon

Two women in a bus fighting bitterly over the last available seat.

The conductor had already tried unsuccessfully to intervene when the bus driver shouted to the conductor, “Let the ugly one take the seat!”

Both women stood for the rest of the journey.

Argument done!

Those motivational signs work so well…

When I was your age, I had to walk 10 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Subject: Password reset

A senior tries to reset his password.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password may not contain blank spaces

USER: 50damboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character

USER: 50DAMboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively

USER: 50DamBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA$$IfYouDon’tGiveMe AccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation

USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA$$IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

The time keeping staff have their own tools that they use on the side of the field.

In “The Three Little Pigs”, why didn’t the wolf just set the stupid straw house and the stupid stick house on fire?  He’d have nabbed 2 out of 3 pigs, and his bacon would be crispy.  Serious plot hole, in my opinion.

That’s definitely me with a jump rope.

You find it offensive?
I find it funny.
That’s why I’m happier than you!

I love people that have no idea how wonderful they are and just wander around making the world a better place.

If you love something set it on fire.  If it…
no wait…
is that right?
Shit!
Be right back.

My Mary~Mae

If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re really not your friends.

Wedding vows should include…
“Do you promise to always help him find his stuff that is right in front of him”
because you will be doing that forever.

I like older women because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments.  Which means they’re ready for me.

Oh yeah!

You know what I like about people?

 

 

THEIR DOGS!

And with that little trip down memory lane, we bring this episode to an end.  May the rest of your week be filled with love and happiness.  Until we meet again.

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