Dragon Laffs #1928


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Good Morning Campers,

Okay … it’s happening an awful lot lately, but I’m starting off this morning and I’m pissed off … again!  I am calling out Mr. Biden especially, but also every single politician who is on this bandwagon.  Now, they are considering an interstate ban on travel, which means setting up borders between our states to stop people from traveling who are not vaccinated.  And yet you are still letting illegals come through the southern border who are sick, and giving them OUR benefits, OUR money, OUR housing!

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

You were elected to represent US.  You were elected to support the American people.  And now you are going to set up borders between our free and open United States to check on a health condition you have NO RIGHT to even ask about while you allow sick and dangerous people into our country with no regard to the people you are supposed to be representing?

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!2b2e

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

I didn’t vote for you and I hope that every single person who did feels shame right now.  That is the most un-American thing I have ever heard of in my entire life!  It is tantamount to demanding your papers or being put up against the wall and shot!

The mayor of New Orleans was just on TV bragging about how the restaurants in her communist town are now starting to ask people for their vaccination cards in order to get inside.  Bragging about it!  I gave up an awful lot of my rights to be in the military, but I did that voluntarily so that you wouldn’t have to do stupid shit like that.  My advice to every single person who is asked or even demanded to provide proof by anyone in a restaurant, store, or any other stupid location or by some Karen who is just being a pain in the ass, is a very simple, two-word answer.

FUCK YOU!

3aaaaaaOh my God, where do these people get the gall?  This is a FREE country!  Why are we so willingly giving up your freedoms?

WAKE UP AMERICA!

Now, I need to go put more alcohol in my coffee and then we can move on.  You guys start without me and I’ll catch up.

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Lets laugh

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blank dragon11

 

I wasn’t always this sarcastic.

It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it.

 

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Okay, let’s get the nasty taste of bullshit out of things by talking about something really cool that our dear camper friend Lynn sent us.  (Lynn often sends us some really cool stuff).  This one is a really cool history lesson that I’ll bet you didn’t get taught in school.

This is one of the best stories.  Why are these not better known.  Makes it clear why the British and Americans share such a bond. 

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THE OIL PATCH WARRIORS OF WORLD WAR II

Seventy-five years ago this month, a Band of Roughnecks went abroad on a top secret mission into Robin Hood’s stomping grounds to punch oil wells to help fuel England’s war machines.

  It’s a story that should make any oilman or woman proud.

  The year was 1943 and England was mired in World War II. U-boats attacked supply vessels, choking off badly needed supplies to the island nation. But oil was the commodity they needed the most as they warred with Germany.

  A book “The Secret of Sherwood Forest: Oil Production in England During World War II” written by Guy Woodward and Grace Steele Woodward was published in 1973, and tells the obscure story of the American oil men who went to England to bore wells in a top secret mission in March 1943.

  England had but one oil field, in Sherwood Forest of all places. Its meager output of 300 barrels a day was literally a drop in the bucket of their requirement of 150,000 barrels a day to fuel their war machines.

  Then a top secret plan was devised: to send some Americans and their expertise to assist in developing the field. Oklahoma based Noble Drilling Company, along with Fain-Porter signed a one year contract to drill 100 wells for England, merely for costs and expenses.

  42 drillers and roughnecks from Texas and Oklahoma, most in their teens and early twenties volunteered for the mission to go abroad. The hands embarked for England in March 1943 aboard the HMS Queen Elizabeth. Four National 50 drilling rigs were loaded onto ships but only three of them made landfall; the Nazi U-boats sank one of the rigs en route to the UK.

  The Brits’ jaws dropped as the Yanks began punching the wells in a week, compared to five to eight weeks for their British counterparts. They worked 12 hour tours, 7 days a week and within a year, the Americans had drilled 106 wells and England oil production shot up from 300 barrels a day to over 300,000

  The contract fulfilled, the American oil men departed England in late March 1944. But only 41 hands were on board the return voyage. Herman Douthit, a Texan derrick-hand was killed during the operation. He was laid to rest with full military honors, and remains the only civilian to be buried at The American Military Cemetery in Cambridge.

  “The Oil Patch Warrior,” a seven foot bronze statue of a roughneck holding a four foot pipe wrench stands near Nottingham England to honor the American oil men’s assistance and sacrifice in the war. A replica was placed in Ardmore Oklahoma in 2001

  It is by no means a stretch to state that without the American mission, we might all be speaking German today.

  Special thanks to the American Oil and Gas Historical Society.

“There are no noble wars, just noble warriors!”

Thanks for that cool story, Lynn.

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Set for the afternoon

A Co-worker Almost Died In Front Of Me Today.

Then I took a drink of my coffee, calmed down, and put the sword back in my desk.

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We are drowning in information

while starving for wisdom.

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America:  You drive for four hours, you are still in the same part of the country.

UK:  You drive for two hours, the local accent has changed twice and bread rolls have a new name.

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I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now fat me needs a snack.

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I know guys like that.

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Sadly, I know people like that, too.

My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”  He winked at me and said, “I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the parking lot.”

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Um….I don’t think …

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Friggin’ Ow!!!!

Dragon Pix

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“Oh, scratch my back!  Right there!  A little to the left!  That’s it!  Ahhh!”

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You know that feeling of anxiety as you’re about to walk past the security sensors on your way out of a store and you think, oh my God, did I shove a TV up my ass?  I can’t remember!

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I was so suspicious and paranoid about my wife having an affair, that we moved to the Shetland Islands.

I couldn’t believe my luck when we still managed to keep the same window cleaner!

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Fantasy

seeingisbelieving

Things keep going the way they seem to be going and this is where me and the whole dragon family are moving to.  Anyone else want to join me?

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hourglass

 

 

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night.

 

 

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Breathtaking

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This is what an illegally taken picture from one of the Greta Giza Pyramids looks like.

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Interesting Maps

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All The Nations That Have To Be Combined To Be Equal To Brazil’s Annual Homicides

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Husband:  I want you to have this bracelet.  It belonged to my grandmother.

Wife:  Why does it say, “Do not resuscitate?”

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Starting on Monday, postmen will be working from home.  They will read all your letters and ring you if it’s anything important.

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As I fold my third load of laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist.

Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding.

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“Where’s grandpa?”

Motivate

For the Last Time

For This

forecast for tonight

Foreign Exchange Programs 2 15

forget romeo and juliet

forget waldo

Formula

Fortyfive

Found em

four of a kind

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Go buy a lottery ticket … Hell, go buy five of them!

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You can only say, “What the fuck?” So many

times a day until you just decide to start

drinking.

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My Therapist:  Why aren’t you being honest with me?

Me:  Because I don’t wanna be hospitalized …

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Political

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If you want to thank me for my Military Service, vote for candidates that put Veterans before illegal aliens!

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Student Loan Forgiveness Doesn’t Forgive The Loan!

It just transfers the loan to those who never asked for the loan, agreed to the loan, or benefitted from the loan!

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Like I’ve been telling you … follow the money.  Oh, and by the way … I’m already seeing where the CDC is beginning to say where “some” people may need a third vaccine.  Now, if that doesn’t prove that the CDC is in the pocket of big pharma, I don’t know what does!

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And that is pure, unadulterated bullshit!

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Yeah, no shit!

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It’s time when I see these kinds of human stupidity that I’m so glad I’m a dragon.

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Sometimes I get Road Rage walking behind people in the Grocery Store.

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A 10 year old girl asks her mom, “Mommy, how was I born?”

The mother smiled and replied, “Once upon a time, me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed.  Daddy put it in the Earth and I took care of it every single day.  After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.  So, we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom.”

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3c

Our Dear Friend and Fellow Camper Stephanie wrote a really good comment a few days ago that I just have to share with the rest of you guys that don’t read the comments on the site.  And it goes like this:

My prayers for the 3 of you. Getting old isn’t for wimps, that means there will be years ahead where very little social security is paid and only a few on Medicaid. The wimps will never survive backaches, grey hair, bladder leaks, sagging boobs, sexual dysfunctions, flabby abs, multiple falls, bad eyesight, twisted ankles, ingrown toenails, mustached females, man boobs, yada yada.
Today’s youth doesn’t have the stamina

OH MY GAWD!  I laughed so hard!  You are so right!  The kids today don’t stand a chance.  My aches and pains have aches and pains, but you still gotta get up and go and do every single day and laugh and smile while you are doing it.  They took away my pain pills several years ago and I’ve been toughing it out ever since.  Oh, I could go to a pain doctor every month, pay an exorbitant copay, and be treated like a drug seeking teenager and have to pee in a bottle every month and then have to pay a lab another ridiculous fee to have to listen to a doctor tell me that there are other things I can take other than opioids for my militarily beat up body.  Funny, I was on a GREAT regime of medication that cost me about 1A6$10 a month (generic opioids are cheap) for over ten years and felt great and had no problems.  Suddenly the country had an opioid problem and those of us who didn’t have a problem now had to suffer.  It was costing me $250 a month to go to the pain doctor and NOT getting the relief I needed.  So I said fuck it and went cold turkey and have been that way ever since.  And have been in pain ever since.  Nothing helps, you just get used to the pain.  There are good days and bad days and you try not to take it out on other people.

So, that was a lot more sharing than I expected.  But, as you might have guessed, right now is a bit of a bad day and things are getting to me a bit more than usual.  It doesn’t help that I’ve also got the news on while I’m writing this.  So, let’s go back to some laughter before calling it a day.

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More businesses should be willing to do things like this next one:

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In high school I dated a twin.  People would ask me how I could tell them apart.

Well, Julie wore bright red lipstick and Larry had a beard.

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Gentleman, want to make your lady feel special?  Place her picture in the kitchen and write employee of the month.  She’ll love it!

Follow me for more relationship tips.

Um…I’m thinking that’s not going to work out the way you hope …

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Last Word

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Talking about donations again for today’s Last Word.  And I can’t say enough great things about you guys.  You are truly wonderful people.  I’ve got a couple of new people to thank for their support.  Real quick, let me explain:

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In order to keep this site free, and ad free, once I year I ask you guys to help me pay the bills and once a year you guys step up with donations.  All you have to do is click on the donations button in the upper right hand column and PayPal will 0aa1awalk you through the steps.  Or if you like you can write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and I’ll send you my snail mail address and you can mail me something if you like.  Any little bit will help, it all adds up.  Buy me a cup of coffee.  Not the Starbucks crap, real coffee at a Jersey diner.  Costs you like a buck or so.

And if your current economic conditions can’t allow you to contribute, then don’t worry about it.  Everyone is still welcome around the campfire, because next year, it might be the other way around.

Now, we have to recognize our contributors:

Richard E.     Dan T.     Daniel W.

Susan W.     Steven H.     Henry S.

Leah H.     Donald G.     Michael C.

Carlos W.     William E.     John R.

Tina C.     Blast Specialties, Inc.

Philip S.

thank you, huge

You guys are the bestest.

And that’s it for today my friends.  May your day be filled with love and happiness and especially laughter.  I will TRY to give you some sort of an issue this week, but with what’s going on this week … we will see what happens.

4c

Cheers

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1928

  1. Dave says:

    When cremated, the human body creates enough carbon to make 200 pencils. You can be a souvenir at your own funeral.

    The difference between men and women:
    If a woman asks you to smell something,
    it usually smells pleasant.

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