Dragon Laffs #1924


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Good Morning Campers,3cc

Okay, I just heard it all … on a commercial on TV … on a National channel … for some stupid product and they actually said, “not for use for those people who were assigned female at birth.”   ASSIGNED FEMALE AT BIRTH.  Assigned female at birth?  Um … you mean, women?  Or girls? Or females?  Assigned female at birth…oh for crying out loud. 

Now listen, what someone wants to become when they grow up is completely up to them, but what they are born as is completely up to God.  It’s not an assignment, it’s what you are.

Never mind.  I’m just going to get pissed off about this when there are so many other things to get pissed off at that are happening to me in my every day life.

402aBiden is going to FORCE the members of the military to get the vaccine … a vaccine that is NOT FDA approved.  Now, I don’t care how you personally feel about this stupid shot, for a disease that has less of a fatality rate then the seasonal flu, that we are, as a country, jumping through our asses over; that is YOUR opinion and you are most certainly entitled to YOUR opinion, but many years ago, back in the 1970’s as a matter of fact, the Supreme Court decided that the President COULD NOT make the military take an injection that was NOT FDA approved.  It’s already been decided.  Done deal.  And now, our current administration is trying it’s best to go AROUND the law to make it happen.  Stating some emergency that doesn’t really exist.covid bug

We need to ask WHY!

What is so damn important?

Why are we so damn insistent on doing this now?  Let’s let the FDA do their job.  From what I can see, they are one of the few federal agencies that actually do what they are supposed to do … somewhat.

2b2What is so important now?  Yes, COVID cases are on the rise.  But you know what’s not on the rise?  COVID deaths.  I know.  I track the numbers for Indiana every single day.  So … why are we so excited about this?  I could see if this was killing people, but it’s not.  More people are dying in traffic accidents, are they going to take our cars away next?

IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! 

Or maybe it’s just me … am I the only one asking questions?  Man, I hope not.

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I was so drunk last night, the police pulled somebody over on TV and I put my beer under the sofa.

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We used to experiment by launching monkeys into space.  Now, we use CEOs.

Progress.

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You women may be surprised to learn, that making us sleep on the couch isn’t that bad.

It’s kinda manly.Angry Bear Cartoon drawing

Makes us feel like we are camping …

With a really angry bear near by.

 

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I’m having salad for dinner.

Actually fruit salad.

Well, mostly grapes.

Okay, all grapes.

Fermented grapes.

Wine.

I’m having wine for dinner.

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There is always one sure way to keep a dragon calm and friendly … be a good story teller.

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My wife left me last Thursday, she said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back.

It’s not too bad.  I’m coping.  I’ve been using that powdered stuff in my coffee …

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Wife:  Did I get fat during quarantine?

Husband:  You weren’t really skinny to begin with!

Time of death:  11:00 pm

Cause:  COVID

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Breathtaking

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This is what a snail drinking from a bubble looks like.

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It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow, she’s been leaving jewelry catalogues all over the house.  So I’ve bought her a magazine rack.

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“Hey Dragon Boy, need a ride?”

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NICE!!!!

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Okay, so like I said last time, it’s time to pay the bills.  I’d appreciate any donations you guys can make to help me with the Word Press bill to keep this ezine free.  I have been getting A LOT of email traffic trying to get me to put Dragon Laffs behind a pay wall or to put advertising on my site and I have resisted for over 15 years.  The advertising or promoting I’ve done, I’ve done for purely personal reasons, like the fine folks from Combat Cookies and things like that.  And I’ve been able to do that because every year when the bills come due, you guys help me out and together we get the bills paid and together we’ve made this site a little better every year … at least, I think it’s become better every year.  Maybe not.  Maybe you may not think so.  But the fact that we raised so much money for the Security Forces lady and you guys helped me out last year … I like to think so.

Anyway, we’ve already had one donation and I’d like to thank Richard E. for the first donation of this season.  Thank you, sir for your very generous and kind gift. 

Every little bit helps.  Give that next cup of coffee to Impish.

Thanks fellow campers and now let’s get back to the laughs.

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Interesting Maps

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Each Section Has 10% Of The World’s Population

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I know we’ve seen this in one form or another many times, but it is worth repeating over and over again until the idiots understand …

If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots

 
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, timeshares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.
 
THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE IN ALL UPCOMING [Mid-Term] ELECTIONS.  MOST OF THE IDIOTS RUNNING THIS COUNTRY SAY ONE THING AND DO THE OPPOSITE KNOWING THAT THE PEOPLE WHO VOTED THEM IN DO NOT PAY ATTENTION.
 
 
LET’S SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT!!!
 
IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
 
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
 
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
 
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
 
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN .
 
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
 
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.
 
IF YOU CROSS [INTO] THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET …….
A JOB, A DRIVERS LICENSE, SOCIAL SECURITY CARD, WELFARE, FOOD STAMPS, CREDIT CARDS, SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH CARE, A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON, BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE, THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.
 
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION !!!
 
 
IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!

Sadly, I think most of America is sound asleep.

I think now is a good time to jump right into these…

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Modern Olympic games were formed to create a common ground of peace without politics!

GOT THAT ACTIVIST GWEN BERRY?

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The US government has accidentally lost 32 nuclear weapons since 1950…many of them never even recovered.

Imagine them having the audacity to tell you that you’re not responsible enough to own an AR-15!

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Get some roosters for eggs and raise some bulls for milk…

Then you’ll see that gender matters.

Especially at milking time.

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Okay, how about this?

No more billionaires.  None.

After you reach $999 million, every red cent after goes to schools and health care.

You get a trophy that says, “I Won Capitalism” and we name a dog park after you.

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If you want to understand any problem in America, you need to focus on who profits from that problem, not who suffers from the problem.

Why do we still have a COVID Pandemic?  Because the drug manufacturers are making WAY too much money on unnecessary vaccines.  When you really look at the numbers, COVID has a fatality rate that is FAR lower than the flu.  We haven’t jumped through this many hoops for the flu.  Mark my words when it is decided that we will need a third booster shot for the vaccine…because they made so much money off the first two.  Write it down.  I’m a dragon prophet.

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Amen Baby!!!

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If you want to know how long the war on COVID will last, just look at the war on drugs and the war on terror.

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No kidding…that’s why ain’t nothin’ gonna kill this dragon!!!

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And I really, really don’t understand why more people aren’t mad as hell!

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Or knell during the playing of our National Anthem.  Why are you representing our country in the Olympics if you are going to protest our country during the Olympics.  You moronic hypocrite!

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When I was working 4 jobs to make ends meet (because that’s what a man does to support his family) one of them was working in the county jail as a jailer.  And it annoyed the living SHIT out of me that the inmates in the county jail had better TV cable service than I was able to afford as the one who was watching over them.

And we were authorized WIC for our baby girl (Izzy Dragon) and I turned it down, because we were making ends meet and I felt it should be left for someone who wasn’t able to make ends meet and the WIC lady looked at me like I was committing a mortal sin.  But, I was raised that a man didn’t take things from other people that he didn’t work for if he didn’t need them.

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Finals Week

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Finish Him

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Firearms

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Fired

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Firepower

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Know

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Get your relatives speaking to each other again by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows.

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Dusted once.

It came back.

Not falling for that again.

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Pure Genius!

“Siri, why am I so bad at relationships with women?”

“This is Alexa.”

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And that’s it my friends.  Pop up top and drop me a donation.  Then go and have a wonderful day.  I’ll be at work.  My next day off is sometime in September I think … we are doing a big exercise this month.  I’ll take pictures and try to include some in my next issue.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1924

  1. Leah D says:

    Dear Dave, right on!

  2. Dave says:

    The Olympians who take a knee during our National Anthem should be immediately removed from the team and have their funding and travel vouchers revoked. Since they don’t like it here, they can stay there.

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