Dragon Laffs #1878


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crazy

Good Morning Campers,

Okay, so here’s a quiz for you … what does the header above mean?  I’ll give you a few minutes to think about it.  In the mean time, we’ll talk about a few other things. 

It’s been a nice weekend.  First weekend I’ve had off in a LONG time.  Finally got a chance to relax a little, kick back.  Read.  Watched some TV with Mrs. Dragon.  Saw some friends.

I have gotten some nice comments lately that I’d like to share with you guys since the first one relates to one of you guys.


Alan F

Dragon Laffs #1875

Well said, Jonathon J.

I agree with you 100% Alan … Jonathon did a great job.

and another one from Alan …


alan F

Dragon Laffs #1876

Sir, totally agree with your opening rant. Exactly the same is happening with illegals in England. It is criminal.

Definitely (one of) my hot buttons right now.  It is pissing me off to no end.  It IS criminal.  We are treating foreign criminals better than we are treating American citizens. 

Okay, so … I’ve given you guys some time to think about it.  Anybody able to figure out what today’s header means?  Anyone?

Okay, so it’s silly.  Mrs. Dragon and I sat down and made out a shopping list and I was bored and that’s everything that’s on the list.  Now, that’s not everything we will buy, I’m sure, it never is, but that’s everything that’s on the list.  LOL!  Yup, pure boredom and a Photoshop type program….  That’s all it takes.

And speaking of Photoshop …. let’s start off today with a cool photo essay that was sent in by Steve H.  So, …

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James Fridman is a noted photoshop expert and is known for people asking him to photoshop their photos

These are some of the requests he received

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That was great, unexpected fun!  Thanks Steve!

Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping?

Try online dating!

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dragon pix

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The REAL story of Little Red Riding Hood, she was bringing a dragon home to visit Grandma when she was brutally attacked by a left leaning, democrat wolf who wanted Red to pay for his student loans, give him food, and a $20 minimum wage that he had no experience to support.  When she said no, he ate his Granny.  The dragon then ate the wolf. 

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One of my Asian brothers being transported to his new home.

So, Lynn sent this one to me…the Subject was Bunny Porn and the subtitle was …

Typical Man:

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I think I would be insulted … except for the truth of the whole matter. 

Are we sure the poor guy didn’t have a heart attack?

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fantasy

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Mother Nature caught mid jump in last year’s trampoline competition.  She took second place.  She’s been pissed off at me ever since.

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Me:  This show is boring.

Boss:  Again, this is a Zoom conference.

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Do you ever go out, and while you’re out, you think, “This is exactly why I don’t go out”?

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Okay, if we’re going to have one-way grocery aisles, then I’m going to need a passing lane.

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That’s a little over reactive, don’t you think?

And a million phobic people around the world scream, “NO!”

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I haven’t tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys, so I’m pretty sure I’d hate yoga.

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motivational

Boobs

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Book worm

Boom Headshot

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Born to be wild

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And therein lies the problem with most people.

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Husband:  One good thing about this lockdown is that we can’t go out and spend money.

Wife:  [Clicks ‘Add to Cart’]

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Brain cells, hair cells and skin cells – they all die constantly, but freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life …

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Yesterday:  Fixed hair and makeup – saw no one.

Today:  Looked like Jack Nicholson from The Shining – saw all the people I know.  All of them.

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Dear Plexiglass, thank you for protecting me from the cashier who just touched everything I’ll be taking home.

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I have shared this before … several times in fact, but Ted sent it to me again and again, I will take the opportunity to share it again.  It’s fun and serious at the same time.  Thank you Ted for bringing it back around.  Now, listen up you civilians …

RULES FOR KICK’N ASS

Rules for the Non-Military (Make sure you read #13 twice) Dear Civilians, we know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.

For those of you who can’t join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem – kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest – kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all veterans.  If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second.  Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great.  Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDU’s) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be ‘Special Forces’.  Collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay when you were seven years old, but now it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.  This one pisses an awful lot of us off. 

5. Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, ‘Do you fly a jet?’  Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot such ignorance deserves an ass kicking (children are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard ‘non-military’, inform them of their mistake – and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart.  This includes arrogant politicians who think someone may be offended.  Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her-of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8. ‘Your mama wears combat boots’ never made sense to me – stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your ass!

9. ‘Flyboy’ (Air Force), ‘Jarhead’ (Marines), ‘Grunt’ (Army), ‘Squid'(Navy), ‘Puddle Jumpers’ (Coast Guard), Bubblehead (Sub sailor), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other.  Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using them could get your ass kicked.

10. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families.  Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families.  Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day.  Without them, our country would get its ass kicked.

11. It is the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press. It’s the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech. It’s the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate. It’s the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

Oh, AND ONE MORE:

12. If you ever see anyone singing the national anthem in Spanish –KICK THEIR ASS.

13. ONE LAST THING: If you got this email and didn’t pass it on -guess what – you deserve to get your ass kicked!

I sent this to you, not because I didn’t want to get my ass kicked, BUT,

BECAUSE YOU ARE A VERY, VERY SPECIAL PERSON AND I KNOW YOU WILL NOT BE OFFENDED AND ARE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND WILL SHARE THIS WITH OTHERS.

THANK YOU

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE,”ONLY” – BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE!

and if we aren’t very careful, we are going to lose those freedoms we hold so dear because those people we allowed to be elected are going to take them away from us.

Which leads us nicely to this part …

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Bozo Criminal for today comes from the International File. From London, England comes the story of Bozo Justin Clark who broke into David Withers car and stole his pager. He was caught when Mr. Withers dialed his pager number and left a message saying he’d won 500 pounds in a church drawing with instructions on how to pick up the cash. Of course, the bozo showed up at the appointed place and time whereupon he was arrested.

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Vaccine Alert For Seniors…

A friend had his 2nd dose of the vaccine at the vaccination center, after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.

When he got home, he called the vaccination centre for advice and to ask if he should go see a doctor, or be hospitalized.

He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but just return to the vaccination center immediately and pick up his glasses.

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And that, dear friends, is that…at least for today.  I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together.  Until next time… remain happy, healthy, and laughter filled.

Cheers Impish

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1878

  1. Steve Hodges says:

    Your male rabbit falling over reminded me of a friend who had a male peacock. Whenever his wife would wander outside, the peacock would try and hump her leg. She found out that when the peacock would charge her, she would throw a pillow at it and the peacock would hump it and when he was done he would fall over and look like he was dead for 2-3 minutes. It was the funniest thing to observe

  2. Leah D says:

    Did you put that teeny tiny happy face on your page . . . or did Word Press?

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