Dragon Laffs #1747


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Good Morning Campers,

Another crazy night.  I watched the news from my little Indianapolis and it was horrible.  Everything was fine.  A wonderfully  peaceful protest until a planned riot broke out.  The police chief gave a press conference at midnight and made it known that they were able to monitor radio traffic where they heard a small group of individuals planning, gathering rocks to break windows, frozen bottles of water, bottles of gasoline, having weapons and items to try and defeat teargas.  They monitored people setting up at intersections and actually snipers with rifles in parking garages.  This shows that the Police realize that this violence is preplanned and not part of the peaceful protest and that makes me sick.  Three people killed, five people shot.  And that was all just in little Indy.

I’m not going to rant again this morning folks, I promise.  But, it’s just so hard to sit here and see this going on and not say something. 

Okay, okay….so what else is going on … um …. it’s a beautiful day out this morning … um … Bob and Doug should be docking with the International Space
Station any time now.  No.  Not Bob and Doug McKenzie docking at the Elsinore brewery, eh.  I’m talking about Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley on the Crew Dragon Space Craft (GREAT Name!)  That should be happening any time now.  And you can watch it live.  My goodness what a fantastic time we live in.

So yeah, it’s early, I’m on my first cup of coffee, I didn’t get much sleep last night, I’m trying really hard not to rant and get myself angrier than I already am, so maybe … maybe it’s time to start getting some funny stuff out there and battle this bullshit with laughter, like we are supposed to be doing. 

What do you say, gentle campers?  Yeah, let’s do this…

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I’m not afraid of werewolves or vampires or haunted hotels, I’m afraid of what real human beings do to other real human beings.
~Walter Jon Williams~

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As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. 

The plot thickens.

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This is AWESOME!  The last block says, “Name the Movie and Song”
Do you have it?  Do you know it?
Come on!
Okay here’s your hint
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Wow, you youngsters!  The song is the Time Warp from the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show and here’s the song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opOsgzzDPdw

IT’S A FRIGGIN’ CLASSIC!!!!

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Um…how’s that work, again?

The U.S. uses a different electrical system than the U.K.
This is because the U.S. revolted in 1776.

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I didn’t mean to push all your buttons.  I was just looking for mute.

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I stood waving to my neighbor for ten minutes this morning before realizing she was cleaning her windows.

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WIFE:  You got kicked out of the Hobby Lobby store for dipping your testicles in the glitter?!

HUSBAND:  Pretty nuts huh?

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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.

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That’s just wrong … in so many ways.

The living room curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

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I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.

I watched it all unfold.

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Coronavirus:  Everybody Stay Inside

Earthquake:  Everybody Run Outside

God:  “You put the scared people in, you put the scared people out, you put the scared people in and you shake them all about”

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So the Crew Dragon successfully docked at about 1030 with International Space Station and everything went well.  I got to watch it as it happened, that was so cool!  They are now going through the pressure checks to equalize the pressure between the two different crafts and then open the hatch so that the crew can enter the space station.

Which they have now done successfully!  Wonderful stuff!

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The best Safe Word you can use is “Meatloaf”.

It means, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

And sadly, there are some of you out there who don’t get that one … it’s sad really, truly sad.

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An old farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his 3 sons.
When his sons opened up the will it read:
‘My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;’
‘My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;’
‘My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.’
As it’s impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to fight with each other.

So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart, to see if he could work it out for them.
 
The farmer friend read the will patiently, and, after giving due thought, brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17.
That increased the total to 18 horses.
Now, he divided the horses according to their father’s will.
Half of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.
Now add up how many horses they have:
Eldest son 9
Middle son 6
Youngest son 2
TOTAL = 17
This leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm……

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Father and Son Activities

Feats of

Japan

Japan2

Japan3

Japan4

Japan5

Jealousy

Jealousy2

Jean diapers

Jedi Master

Jedi Mind Tricks

Jedi Squirrels

JenniferLoveHewitt

Jeopardy

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Such a truthful cartoon in such an awesome little package

Let’s do some intermittent mail…

Sasquatch


Bill’s story stopped before the end. The camera pans across the desert to find Moses who says “now let me get this straight…. the Arabs get all of the oil and you want us to cut off what??”

LOL!  That does make more sense.

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Or the closest thing you can get to a dragon.

Tom

And please tell me — how the fuck do you give up a Police Precinct? How does that even happen?! To me, that’s like a military base.

Ummmmm….Syria?

Yeah Tom … go ahead … rub my big scaly nose in it.

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Leah D

Launch Over!
Don is very lucky he isn’t driving it, with me as a passenger!
It would scare me to death knowing we had fire coming out our rear end!
Ever since the Challenger blew up, I go through terrible anxiety from the moment they start, until they are finally out there and safe (?).
It should have been the top news story, a huge happy celebration! But no, instead we get sad and ugly.

I know!  I held my breath the whole way until they were in orbit!  It sure is a good thing I have good lungs.

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Helen


In WA, marijuana is legal. Everything was closed, Except the marijuana stores. When did that become a essential item?

It’s a democratic party policy thing.  Just like Pelosi’s stimulus package had more references to marijuana than it did to legitimate businesses. 

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Danny M

Love your intro. There are so many elements in the situation that are just plain wrong. Thanks for the Laffs.

Thanks Danny, you’re are so right.  From any angle…it’s screwed up.

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Maggie

Impish.
A GREAT issue,,, keep it coming
Maggie

Thank you so much, Maggie…that means a lot.

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And that’s it for today my dear friends.  I have to secure the perimeter and get ready to repel borders.  Secure the walls, change the guards and change out the fire pits.  Love to you all, until we meet again.

Cheers! ~~ Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1747

  1. Don Graves says:

    Like you I once took an oath, and it pisses me off that a few asshats are taking advantage of peaceful protests to loot and cause chaos.. I’m not sure that military force is necessary but something needs to be done to rein in those miscreants.

  2. Leah D. says:

    Thanks for the Meatloaf reference, it has been so long since I had listened to that great song! Strange though, how my mind drifted from song about love between a couple, and what is going on right now.
    Jumbled feelings, sorted by logic, defining how deeply I feel the pain and sorrow, how much I understand the need for protest, where I draw the line.

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