Dragon Laffs #1746


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Good Morning Campers,

I find it quite difficult to be jovial and jubilant this morning after the night our country has had.  It may be Sunday morning while you’re reading this and I shutter to think of what we’re going to wake up to tomorrow morning, but it’s Saturday morning as I write these words and I stayed up quite late last night watching the news outlets try and report on our country self destruct.  I imagine President Trump in his White house wondering what the hell to do, while Pelosi and her cronies cackle around a fire pit, rubbing their gnarly hands together wondering how they can turn this to their advantage.  I imagine most of us sitting at home thinking the same things that I’m thinking, why is this going on and where the hell are the police, the National Guard, or whoever else is needed to reinstall law and order?  Why are these people just allowed to run amok? 

This is no longer about George Floyd.  Or maybe, to be correct, I should say, this is no longer JUST about George Floyd.  This is a whole lot of things coming together at the same time.  It’s the Perfect Storm and it’s settled right over top of our United States — that are not so United any more.  And if this is any indication, we haven’t been for some time now.

This is the Quarantine that should or should not have been.

This is China that should or should not be punished.

This is our rights being taken away from us or freely surrendered.

This is the hypocrisy of a liquor store being open and a church being closed.

This is a black news reporter being arrested while his white co-worker is told a block away he is fine.

This is the huge disparity in race relations in our country.

This is also about a huge disparity in race behavior in our country.

But most of all, it is about bad people taking the opportunity of bad situations to cause more bad things. 

You know and I know that there are professional agitators out there who are pushing this for all it’s worth.  Paid professional agitators who couldn’t care less if cities burn because they don’t live there and don’t have to go back there and some “person” in the background is pulling the strings.  Otherwise all of this would not be happening in all these different places at the same time.  It sickens me.  These people are basically destroying their own homes, their own infrastructure, and then they are going to want the government (the rest of us) to come in and fix it all up for them afterwards.  All because some multi-gazzionaire in the background with the puppet strings is calling the shots and giggling in his mountain retreat somewhere with no extradition.  Not that it could ever be traced back to him anyway, because he owns too many government officials, anyway. 

I know, I’m bouncing around in my thoughts here this morning.  My mind is free flowing and my phone is pinging off the wall with incoming messages from you guys wanting to get your two-cents in, and I don’t blame you.  It’s a terrible subject. 

I’m fucking angry.  I’m pissed off.  I can’t believe that us campers are the only ones  who sees this for the nonsense that it is!  I just want to go out there and shout and grab them all up and tell them to knock their stupid shit off.  Like my kids when they were little and arguing over stupid shit.

And please tell me — how the fuck do you give up a Police Precinct?  How does that even happen?!  To me, that’s like a military base.  You fight until the last shot is fired.  You want to do stupid shit out on the streets, yeah, okay, we’ll come and arrest your ass, you do stupid shit in here and you get your ass shot!  Come on!  The inmates have taken over the nut house!

Okay, okay.  Mrs. Dragon has told me that the smoke alarm has just gone off and nothing is cooking, so that means it’s me that set it off, so … I’m not really ready to go to the laughter.  It doesn’t seem like it’s that kind of a day.  So, let’s look at the emails and the comments and see what you guys have to say, although, if you guys get me more fired up, I may have to seek a new office.

Nope … gotta go to the laughter …

Pipe just burst in the wall from the excessive heat.  Laughter time, Laughter time!

Wooden-3

 1199

Finland has just closed their borders.

No one will be crossing the finish line.

3

1200

So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.

3a

1201

Oh, and there-in lies the problem!!!!!!!!!!!

Never mind …. back to the funnies!!!!!

Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.

3a2

1202

(My God, all of these are so BAD this morning!)

Now is Not the time to surround yourself with positive people.

(!!!)

1203

There will be a minor baby boom in 9 months, and then one day in 2033, we shall witness the rise of the quaranteens.

1204

3a2a

The World Health Organization has announced the dogs cannot contract COVID-19.  Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.  To be clear: WHO let the dogs out.

We have to go back 20 years to explain that joke, so if you don’t get it, find someone who was around 20 years ago.

1205

I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

3b

1206

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the furniture in the house is in place.

401

WIFE:  “There’s a problem with the tractor.  It has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND:  “Water in the carburetor?  That’s ridiculous.”

WIFE:  “I’m telling you the tractor has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND:  “You don’t even know where the carburetor is.  Where’s the tractor?”

WIFE:  “In the pool.”

402

I’ve learned two important lessons in life.  I can’t recall the first one, but the second one is that I need to start writing things down.

1207

Floccinaucinihilipilification: (go ahead and try it, your spell check won’t light up) The act of estimating something as worthless.  Now there’s a hell of a word!

403

This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date, so after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents’ house.

404

Okay, it wasn’t my fault…blame it on the memes … they started it!

Okay, from the comments:

Tommy V Sr.


Great issue and as a former police officer I very much believe you are right.

Thanks Tommy, that means a lot.  I was never a “real” police officer, but have been around enough of them to know the life.  I was a DoD cop and a state police dispatcher as well as a jail officer and I know that what those four did was wrong.  But what the “protesters” are doing is wronger … more wrong. 

Leah D

Assertion vs Aggression
Protest vs Rioting Chaos

Too true Leah

Maggie

IMPISH.
some people will use any excuse to RIOT and LOOT,, then just as easily turn around and complain that they are being persecuted because of they race or religion.
If cops do things that are not acceptable, because they think that their uniform is going to protect them then they are as bad as those they are pursuing.
When someone puts on a uniform to protect a city, state, or a nation, their attitude must be even if I don’t like this person, I must do the correct thing under the law.

I stand with you !!!!
God Bless and stay well.
Maggie

Thanks Maggie, that means a lot and I agree with you, 100%.   There are some people who don’t need ANY excuse to Riot and Loot.  To take something that doesn’t belong to them.  And I do believe that the VAST majority of Police Officers take their vows seriously and believe in their jobs and don’t abuse their authorities.  There will always be bad actors, the key is to identify them as quickly as possible and cull them from the herd as soon as you identify them.  Thanks Maggie!406

And remember my comments earlier about professional protestors, which amount to little more than Domestic Terrorism, do you remember our original Domestic Terrorist?

Yup …. that’s her.

Anyway … I think I got one more letter … let me check … oh yeah … an email from our dear Leah D.

Been trying to get it through the heads of some of my grandkids, the difference between Protest and Riot.  There is a part of me that says those rioters will pay . . . by getting the virus, if no other way, and almost wish they would.  And there is a part of me that wishes my grandkids would have to love through a riot in their neighborhood.  And there is a part of me that thought last night, that I should sleep with a gun . . . because someone out there thinks they have the right to attack me, since I dared to voice my views.

Hope all the turmoil hasn’t kept you from healing, and feeling better again.

I definitely understand how you feel about wanting the rioters to “get theirs” I had a relative who told me they ought to (and I’m paraphrasing here) deduct 50% of their welfare paychecks until all the repairs are made to all the damage that has been done.  If we could figure out a way to force all the people who participated in the damage causing and looting and robbing I would agree with you 100%.  Find a way to make them live in the damage they caused or something.  The problem is the other people who weren’t involved, who didn’t cause the problems but yet who will end up paying for it, even to the point of the butterfly effect of you and me and the increase in our insurance premiums to offset the insurance payments of the businesses who got burned down.  Because we all know that shit rolls downhill.  And the worst of it is, the people who caused the problems DON’T CARE.  They want us to care about their plight and then show us they don’t care about the damage they caused.  What possible sense does that make? 

Okay, I’m starting to Rant again…

Sigh …

Moving on …

SPACEX AND NASA LAUNCH FIRST ASTRONAUTS TO ORBIT FROM U.S. SINCE 2011 AND FIRST TIME EVER FOR PRIVITE INDUSTRY!!!!!!

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

They did it!!!!!  They did it, they did it, they did it!

We’ll know for sure tomorrow when they successfully dock, but they are in orbit and everything went well.  That is so awesome!!!!  I am so pleased!  We have entered a new age of space travel at long last!  We really, REALLY needed private industry to get involved in space travel to finally get this thing moving again and they finally have. 

407

Maybe … maybe we’ll even see a colony on the moon or even on Mars in my lifetime!  That would be so cool!

okay, I’m done acting like a school girl.  But yay!  We did it!!

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coollogo_com-73072376

It was horrible

It was Me

it was

it_ws_found

Italy

It's dangerous to go alone

Its not so bad

It's so shiny

itsatrap

Jackpot

Jailbait

jailbait1

Jailbait2

Jammed Door

1209

Quarantine Day 26:  Went to this restaurant called “The Kitchen”.  It was really weird.  You have to gather all your own ingredients and make your own meal.  I have no clue how in the world this place is still in business.

405

Got this next one from Mrs. Dragon … and had to share it.

A girl bought an iPad. When her father saw it, He asked her “What was the 1st thing you did when you bought it?

“I put an anti-scratch sticker on the screen and bought a cover for the iPad” she replied.

“Did someone force you to do so?”

– “No”

“Don’t you think it’s an insult to the manufacturer?”

– “No dad! In fact they even recommend using a cover for the iPad”

“Did you cover it because it was cheap and ugly?”

– “Actually, I covered it because I didn’t want it to get damaged and decrease in value.”

“When you put the cover on, didn’t it reduce the iPad’s beauty?”

– “I think it looks better and it is worth it for the protection it gives my iPad.”

The father looked lovingly at his daughter and said, “Yet if I had asked you to cover your body which is much more precious than the iPad, would you have readily agreed???”

She was mute…..

~ Indecent dressing and exposure of your body reduces your value and respect.

Always dress decently.

*Please protect our young ladies by sharing this with all sisters*.

-Unknown

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Now I have no idea who the two “young ladies” are who are pictured to the left, but the picture came with the email or the Facebook posting or whatever it was the Mrs. Dragon this, but the message was so powerful that I thought I would keep it all together.

And the message is indeed powerful. 

Thanks to Mrs. Dragon for sharing this awesome message and thanks to these two little … whoever they are for posing for this picture to accompany this awesome message.

 

 

408

Seems to me that if some of this behavioral modification had been used in the past on the “protestors” some of this may not be going on right now.  Just a thought.

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1210

Okay, fellow campers, I can feel another Rant coming on, so it’s time for me to call it an issue.  Until tomorrow when the dawn shall find us a whole new packet of shit to bitch about.  Love and peace and happiness to you all.

Cheers! ~ Impish Dragon

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7 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1746

  1. boopluver says:

    It was bad here in ohio…the protesters did approximately 15,000 dollars damage to the historical ohio theatre, broke window in our capital building..guard is now here curfew is ten..they are our this morning but seem so far peaceful…state troopers on capital..my daughter said some audience’s got broke Windows and some had just opened up…she said she was not working then…so thankful…only one of her jobs has opened because the other is school related…so sad

  2. Maggie says:

    Impish.
    A GREAT issue,,, keep it coming
    Maggie

  3. Danny Manger says:

    Love your intro. There are so many elements in the situation that are just plain wrong. Thanks for the Laffs.

  4. Helen says:

    In WA, marijuana is legal. Everything was closed, Except the marijuana stores. When did that become a essential item?

  5. Leah D. says:

    One thing I noticed over and over again, as they railed on, listing every black person killed by a cop . . . they said “killed an innocent . . .”
    There actually are stories where the people were innocent, because of mistaken identity, wrong addresses, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But so many of them were not “innocent”. The reason the police are there is because of a call, where this person (identified as victim of police brutality) was, or had committed a crime.
    I suppose you can call them “innocent”, because in this Country, you only get the death sentence if you commit murder, and have been found guilty of that crime in the courts.
    George Floyd was drunk and disorderly, which he was arrested for.
    He wasn’t “innocent”.
    He was condemned to death without due process of law.

  6. Leah D says:

    Launch Over!
    Don is very lucky he isn’t driving it, with me as a passenger!
    It would scare me to death knowing we had fire coming out our rear end!
    Ever since the Challenger blew up, I go through terrible anxiety from the moment they start, until they are finally out there and safe (?).
    It should have been the top news story, a huge happy celebration! But no, instead we get sad and ugly.

  7. Tom says:

    And please tell me — how the fuck do you give up a Police Precinct? How does that even happen?! To me, that’s like a military base.

    Ummmmm….Syria?

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