Dragon Laffs #1707–Day #24


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Good Morning Campers,

Let’s talk a little bit about being safe.  The weekend is coming.  I know you guys want to go out and have fun, but now is not the time to give up.  Now is not the time to leave your house.  Most states are still on the rise.  I know, here in Indiana things are still not flattening out.  I had hoped by now we would have reached a peak, but we haven’t.  I suspect we still have another two weeks of climbing to do before we peak and that scares the hell out of me…and it ought to scare the hell out of you, too.

I do this for a living folks, so when I tell you to stay in the house and stay safe, I mean it.  Stay in the house, stay safe, only go out when you absolutely have to.  Wear a mask, wash your hands, wear gloves if you can, take as many precautions as you can.  Especially if you are in the danger zone.  If you are over 60, have any kind of preexisting condition like diabetes, heart condition, asthma, COPD, high blood pressure, anything at all.  This bastard virus is a killer!  It doesn’t give a damn how good a person you are, who you are, it only needs one excuse to get in and get you.  So, don’t give it that excuse.

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STAY HOME and STAY SAFE!

When you’re tempted to go out, remember this face.

This image represents thousands of us in the NHS and Social Care sector so please don’t ignore us!

This is the face of an ICU nurse.

This is the face of working 65 hours over the last 6 days.

This is the face of reality.

This is the face going through hell.

This is the face full of pressure damage from wearing PPE for almost 13 hours a day.

This is the face of someone who fears for her own health and all her colleagues, past and present.

This is the face of someone putting their life on the line for your families.

This is the face of someone who hasn’t seen their own family for nearly a month.

This is the face of someone who holds your dying family members hand, so they’re never alone.

This is the face of someone who is exhausted, but will continue to fight Covid-19.

This is the face of someone who will carry on, no matter what.

This is the face of someone who is proud to stand on the frontline with all key workers.

This is the face of someone who wants lock down to end.

This is the face that is begging you, to NOT go out this weekend.

Protect us as a society, protect the NHS, Social Care and all Key Workers and help us save lives

0a1

or if you prefer the original Latin

0a1a

Be proud to be exiled.  Be one of the ones who are still standing when this is all over.  I want every single Dragon Laffs Reader to be a survivor!  That is my fervent prayer!

Now, let’s find something to laugh about…

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My neighbor just got arrested for growing weed.  I guess my property line isn’t where I thought it was.

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“My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.  But, look at me now, I’m saving the world!”

402

I heard that California issued a “Stay at home” order ….Idaho has been suggesting this for years…

403

The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other.

404

I couldn’t sleep, so I got started early this morning and got an early morning comment from Brenda C. in Ohio

boopluver

Another great one..sorry about mother nature…you know it is not nice to fool mother nature..here in Ohio we have been having back to back freeze warnings…I just cannot figure out instead of saying freeze warning tonight just say freeze warning Monday, Tuesday,& Wednesday, but on Thursday it will be frost warning..just keep the snow I will take the cold with no snow.. Well keep up the laughs…it keeps me from going insane….and I do not break out singing they’re coming to take me away…greetings from Riley and I

Thanks Brenda.  Yeah, you can’t fool Mother Nature, but she’s a little stricter on me than she probably is on others, see, she’s my God Mother.  Her and my mom went to school together and … well … you know how it is.  Anyway, she keeps an eye on me.  She has lots of friends, one of which is Mrs. Claus (who’s a bit of a grouch and won’t let Santa get away with anything) and one thing led to another and … well … snow in April.

Anyway, I’m glad you like the fun, I think I’m gonna be sad when things go back to normal and I won’t have the time to spend on this like I do now.

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Okay, I just got a warning from the National Weather Service, while you are reading this I could be getting 3 to 4 inches of snow!!!!!!  What the ever-lovin’ Hell!!!  Okay, I’m ready for this whole Global Warming bullshit to kick in!

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Day 20 of isolation and it’s like damn Vegas in my house.  We’re losing money by the minute, cocktails are acceptable at any hour, and nobody knows what time it is!

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Toilet Paper Hoarding Explained:

Some people will be eating their own cooking for the first time in years.

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(Gasp!)

Ladies, time to start dating us older dudes, we can get you in the grocery store early!

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(SCREAM!)

Y’all are about to find out why your Great Grandmother washed her aluminum foil and saved her bacon grease.

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Another comment has come in…

A. Sasquatch

Sorry about the snow. I blame it on Governor Whitmer. She shut down all of the garden centers in Michigan so we couldn’t plant Easter flowers for Mother Nature and she got a bit miffed. There was quite a dust up about it in Lansing yesterday. I forget, is this one that we are supposed to sacrifice virgins for? Maybe that’s why you got the new volcano.

Hey Yeti, how are you?  Long time, brother.  So, Governor Whitmer’s fault.  I can get behind that.  So, she wouldn’t let you guys plant Easter flowers and that may very well have pissed off Mother Nature, she does indeed love her flowers.  And as to sacrificing virgins…I might have a problem finding any of them around here….but it might very well help.  Any volunteers out there willing to help out?

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Let’s do some of these next…

motivational4

Disturbed

Diversity

Diving

Divorce Lawyers

Divorce

Do it later

dogs

Dogs2

Dogs3

Doing it wrong2

dolphin torpedos

Domestic Violence

Donald Duck

Dont ask Dont tell

Don't Ask

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Okay, it wouldn’t be a day without a message from Leah…

Leah D

A little background…I get messages from across the country on things that interest Emergency Managers and I got one that said there was a 4.2 quake at Magna, Utah and I wrote to Leah and asked if it was near her and she said yes, they were getting shocks and after shocks all the time.  I’m not sure if I’d rather worry about tornadoes that you can see coming or earthquakes that come out of nowhere…anyway, this is a follow up to that previous conversation.

This morning, my daughter was at Smiths when they opened because she found out when food gets delivered to them. She took my over the phone order for items I have been unable to find online.
She didn’t feel the 4 point something or other, quake we had, she was driving. We have been under siege of construction for so long, a bumpy ride is normal, easy to disguise an earthquake.
She sent me a text message that my groceries were on the doorstep. and, she says, “I found two bottles of alcohol, and put them in the sack.”
I thought that was strange, since I have plenty of rubbing alcohol, been passing it out to family. Then I find 2 BOTTLES OF BAILEYS IRISH CREME! Quake? We had a quake?

Okay, a 4.2 might be a “minor” earthquake to some, but to not even notice?  Wow!  But, a nice surprise to find some Bailey’s instead of rubbing alcohol!  You’ve got a sweet daughter, there Leah!

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Man, must be pretty bad if you only lasted until day 4!

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I feel like I should put that up on my header somewhere!  Just sayin’!

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I’m sorry…maybe I’m really bad…but I laughed for a good three minutes…till tears rolled down my cheeks … when I saw this one.  Mrs. Dragon thought I was going crazy.

I must be bad.

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But of course…. and don’t forget… you were barefoot and it was friggin’ snowing!!!

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In the Middle Ages orgies were celebrated when the plague was defeated.  Does anyone know if something is already planned?

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No friggin’ way!

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That is hilarious.

And that’s it for today.  It was a long day that started way too early.  Wish this one could’ve been a bit longer.  But, there’s always tomorrow.

Love you guys.

Stay home and stay safe.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1707–Day #24

  1. Stephanie Caldwell says:

    Love you too

  2. Cynical John says:

    Just remember, the weather’s being run by the National Weather Service, a federal agency, and like just about any other agency of the damyankeefedralgummint, they screw it up. Being a true southerner, there’s no ill that I cannot lay at the feet of the damyankeefedralgummint. Stay safe and warm up there in the snow.

  3. Leah D. says:

    Coffee and Dragon Laffs, makes it worth getting up in the morning!
    We have had over 1,000 aftershocks since out March 18, 5.7 earthquake.
    We now have a crack in the cement floor of our storage room, and it keeps widening and growing longer
    Much like the reality gap between virus testing and when we can safely stop hibernating.

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