As you enter the conference room you see an iLethal zipping back and forth between Diaman and Ginny (who seems particularly flustered and flushed for some reason- could she be worried about Lethal’s comment posted in Saturday’s edition of DragonLaffs?) apparently in conversation with both of them. Several CyberLethals move about the room finishing various set up tasks before taking up discrete positions about the room.

The screen behind the podium has been lowered and Lethal’s image appears to be watching all that is going on from somewhere not here. He perks up and brightens considerably when he sees you all enter.

Good morning readers!  As you can see, from the image behind me, we had a little rain since last I spoke to you here at Keebler Towers. Thankfully this time all three days of major precipitation (2 –4”, 3-5” and up to 6.5” respectively) we managed to dodge the bullet and avoid flooding of my home office.

While I have no new photos of Impish swimming in the gutter outside my house I thought I’d share these flooding photos with you. When we move in November Molly and I are seriously considering moving into a second floor apartment despite my knees, legs and cane use just to be sure we never flood again as well as avoid some of the other 1st floor invaders like ants, roaches , beetles and Gecko lizards.

Since I’m somewhat pressed for time having two tests lasting up to two hours each to take today we’ll be moving right along.

As you can tell from our new background yesterday marked Mabon the Autumnal Equinox or for those of you not practiced in keeping the uld ways the First Day of Fall. We’ve been experiencing some pretty fall like weather here in Texas which is unusual this early in the year when we’re generally still in the 90s. I thought we’d all like to know what the fall has in store for us weather wise so I nipped ‘round to Mother Natures study and had a wee peek at here short range plans. I’ve recreated them as best I could here for you.

What? Well OF COURSE it says ‘The Weather Channel on them! Who did you THINK owned The Weather Channel? How else  did you think they did all that more or less accurate forecasting? Where else did you think Mother Nature got the  where withal to mess with our weather 24/7/365? Practically ALL us mythical creatures have mundane world business interests centered along the lines of our special interests! MORTALS! SHEESH!

I’m pleased to report that all Pizza Promotion Faction Representatives who have been  trying my patience availing themselves of our manual labor weight loss program for the last several weeks have departed back to their respective locales after Saturday’s issue posted. Now I’m not going to say it has to do with what I said or Impish’s admission that who has the best pizza is not the foremost concern when discussing pizza. I’d like to think that the issue was discussed (by at least a few of us…and damned few at that) and we were all able to reach common ground and concede each other’s view point were equally valid.

However I find there is one small last bit of business to contend with before I can officially declare the whole Subject of the Great  Pizza Chew 2014 closed….

<Screen view changes to one of the picnic field from which Impish makes his opening comments on Saturdays. As the camera zooms in to the Pavilion you see a fairly large object covered with a painters tarp  on the ground in front of the stage situated squarely under the podium. Impish from his padded position grunts quizzically and sits up to get a better view as Diaman and Ginny are led to the podium by the iLethal and directed to place their hands on a large button.>

Ladies if you’d please do the honors of the unveiling.

<The ladies push the button together and the tarp in the picnic area briskly climbs up into the air and out of camera shot unveiling some sort of monument stone. The camera slowly zooms in for a closer look…>

NOW the Subject of the Great  Pizza Chew 2014  is officially closed!

I’m off for some last minute cramming before the tests start enjoy the issue.

https://www.facebook.com/momsagainsteverything/posts/1490457727857120

Inner beauty <cough!> yeah ok, that what the guy in our next photo has too, ‘inner beauty’. Just like you he’s a real beaut all right!

We’ve got some bad news. Toronto’s larger than life Mayor Rob Ford has withdrawn his re-election bid due to the discovery of an abdominal tumor believed to be cancer after complaining of abdominal pains for over three months. Comics everywhere are wailing, gnashing their teeth and pulling out their hair.

The Top 5 Reasons We’ll Miss Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

1. Now we have to focus on the more important things in the news, like which Kardashian is pregnant.
2. The U.S. export of ill-fitting suits will drop off precipitously.
3. We’re left with just the Maple Leafs when we want to point and laugh at Toronto.
4. The nude photos hacked from his iPhone are suddenly worthless.

And the Number One Reason We’ll Miss Toronto Mayor Rob Ford…

1. He really made you feel that ANYONE could be a mayor.

Jalapeno Popper Dip

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 35 – 45 minutes

  Ingredients

2 blocks Cream Cheese, softened,
3 fresh jalapeño peppers (2 diced and 1 split in half for garnish),
1/2c.  Shredded Habanero  or Pepper Jack cheese, divided,
1/2c. Mayonnaise,
1 (7 oz. can)Diced Green Chiles,
1 (2..5 oz. pkg.) 100% Bacon Pieces,
1/2c. Grated Parmesan Cheese, divided,

Directions

1 Preheat oven to 350°F.
2  Place the cream cheese in 9×11-inch baking dish and put in oven 5 minutes.
3 Remove cream cheese from oven and add mayo, combine until well mixed.
4  Add the rest of the ingredients, reserving a 1/4 cup each of the parmesan and Habanero Jack cheese.
5 Top the dip with the remaining cheese and halved jalapeño.
6 Bake uncovered at 350°F for 30-40 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling and slightly browned.

Chicken Chilaquiles

Prep 20 min.

 Total 40 min.

Serves 4

Servings: about 1 cup Cook: 10 min.

Bake: 10 min.

This Mexican inspired dish features a combination of shredded cooked chicken, tomato chipotle soup, onion, garlic, cheese and crispy tortilla strips. It’s easy to prepare, super delicious and guaranteed to be a hit at your dinner table!

What You’ll Need

10 corn tortillas (6-inch), cut into 1-inch-thick strips
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves, crushed
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Tomato, Chipotle & Olive Oil Soup
1 cup water
2 cups shredded cooked chicken
1/4 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese or crumbled queso fresco (about 4 ounces)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves
4 wedges limes

How to Make It

• 1 Heat the oven to 350°F.  Arrange the tortilla strips on 2 baking sheets. 
• 2 Bake for 10 minutes or until the tortilla strips are crisp and lightly browned.  Reserve 5 tortilla strips.
• 3 Heat the oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat.  Add the onion and oregano and cook for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add the garlic and cook and stir for 1 minute.
• 4 Stir in the soup and water and heat to a boil.  Reduce the heat to medium.  Cook, uncovered, for 5 minutes.  Stir in the chicken and black pepper and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling.
• 5 Stir in the remaining tortilla strips and cook until the mixture is hot.  Remove the skillet from the heat.  Sprinkle the chicken mixture with the cheese.  Top with the reserved tortilla strips and the cilantro, if desired.  Serve with the lime wedges.

NUTELLA NO-BAKE COOKIES

Ingredients

2 cups sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup Nutella
3 cups old-fashioned oats
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
Pinch of salt

Directions

Place sugar, cocoa powder, milk, and butter in a saucepan.
Bring to a boil over medium heat; boil for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes.
Remove saucepan from the heat; add Nutella, oats, vanilla extract, and salt.
Stir until well combined.
Drop the oat mixture by spoonfuls onto wax paper and let cool.

A 94-year-old prophecy is fulfilled.

H.L. Mencken (born 1880 – died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic and registered Democrat. Mencken wrote the editorial below while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26,1920 edition.

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.” – H.L.  Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

So it was written, and so on  Tuesday, January 20, 2009 it came to pass…

Best Way to Clean Grout (EVER!!!)

I have to admit I was pretty skeptical, especially when I got a load of Mr. Wooly Caterpillar Eyebrows. After watching this though the parts to  make two of them it are on my next shopping trip list. We’ll be moving in two months and that always means lots of cleaning needs doing.  If nothing else I figure these should pay for themselves in times saved cleaning bathrooms alone.

ASK YOUR PHARMACIST

What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours?

I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman I was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees.

She then asked if she could help me. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The lady pharmacist assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, “This is tough for me to discuss, but I get erections every day that last more than four hours. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.”

The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister.”

When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do”.

. . . 1/3 ownership in the store,

. . . A company pickup truck,

. . . A king size bed and

. . . $3,000 a month in living expenses.

All in all I don’t think I made a bad deal! The sisters (shown here prior to our first outing/alleviation treatment session) are not hard to take and I gained another bolt hole, some decent perks, interest in a new business venture and a little monthly pocket money!

There once  was a girl named Hortence,
Whose breasts were very immense.
One day, while  playing soccer,
Out popped her left knocker,
And she kicked it right over  the fence.
================
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung  by her toes in a doorway.
She said to her beau,
“Just look at me Joe,
I  think I’ve discovered one more way.”
===============
There was a young  fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one  bean
He’d fart “God Save the
Queen,”
And Beethoven’s Moonlight  Sonata.

Burned armpit hair causes Idaho car crash

Teen lost control of vehicle after passenger lit his armpit hair on fire

Published On: Sep 18 2014 10:28:04 AM CDT

An SUV full of teens crashed in Idaho after police say one of the passengers lit the driver’s armpit hair on fire.

The crash happened at about 5:30 a.m. Sunday.

According to police, 18-year-old Tristan Myers lost control of the vehicle after a 16-year-old passenger used a lighter to set Myers’ armpit hair on fire.

Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle.

All five teens in the vehicle were injured and received medical treatment. None were wearing seatbelts, Boise TV station WREM reported.

Myers was cited for inattentive driving. The lighter-wielding passenger was ticketed for interfering with the driver’s safe operation of a vehicle.

Uhh…yeah ummm…(sigh!)…sorry but I got nuthin’ What could I possibly add to this to make this funnier or more ludicrous a story?

 Well the promised time has finally arrived! Ginny has made a comment publicly in Saturday’s DragonLaffs comments section about tattoos and Diaman’s bum, which I’ll admit has garnered a considerable male following among our readers. Privately she’s expressed her belief that her is just as good and that Impish and I are playing favorites.

Well never let it not be said Impish nor I do not appreciate each woman for their own particular charms.

I GIVE YOU THE DL/LL ELECTONIC MEDIA ENTERPRISES DEBUTE OF GINNY”S BACKSIDE!

Yup! Definite Jersey girl! Half naked but still wearing her jewelry while the white cheekers proclaim ‘naughty but innocent’ at the same time for plausible deniability in case she changes her mind  and a stranglehold on the bottle of Jack!

Here she is again “down the shore wid Impish”. Personally I doubt that’s the Jersey shore the water is too blue and there’s no oil slicks or medical wastes floating in on it though that is undoubtedly a spot of Impish’s drool making that round spot on the camera lens.