Leprechaun Laughs # 265


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As you enter the conference room you see an iLethal zipping back and forth between Diaman and Ginny (who seems particularly flustered and flushed for some reason- could she be worried about Lethal’s comment posted in Saturday’s edition of DragonLaffs?) apparently in conversation with both of them. Several CyberLethals move about the room finishing various set up tasks before taking up discrete positions about the room.

The screen behind the podium has been lowered and Lethal’s image appears to be watching all that is going on from somewhere not here. He perks up and brightens considerably when he sees you all enter.

Good morning readers!  As you can see, from the image behind me, we had a little rain since last I spoke to you here at Keebler Towers. Thankfully this time all three days of major precipitation (2 –4”, 3-5” and up to 6.5” respectively) we managed to dodge the bullet and avoid flooding of my home office.

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While I have no new photos of Impish swimming in the gutter outside my house I thought I’d share these flooding photos with you. When we move in November Molly and I are seriously considering moving into a second floor apartment despite my knees, legs and cane use just to be sure we never flood again as well as avoid some of the other 1st floor invaders like ants, roaches , beetles and Gecko lizards.

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Since I’m somewhat pressed for time having two tests lasting up to two hours each to take today we’ll be moving right along.

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As you can tell from our new background yesterday marked Mabon the Autumnal Equinox or for those of you not practiced in keeping the uld ways the First Day of Fall. We’ve been experiencing some pretty fall like weather here in Texas which is unusual this early in the year when we’re generally still in the 90s. I thought we’d all like to know what the fall has in store for us weather wise so I nipped ‘round to Mother Natures study and had a wee peek at here short range plans. I’ve recreated them as best I could here for you.

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What? Well OF COURSE it says ‘The Weather Channel on them! Who did you THINK owned The Weather Channel? How else  did you think they did all that more or less accurate forecasting? Where else did you think Mother Nature got the  where withal to mess with our weather 24/7/365? Practically ALL us mythical creatures have mundane world business interests centered along the lines of our special interests! MORTALS! SHEESH!

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I’m pleased to report that all Pizza Promotion Faction Representatives who have been  trying my patience availing themselves of our manual labor weight loss program for the last several weeks have departed back to their respective locales after Saturday’s issue posted. Now I’m not going to say it has to do with what I said or Impish’s admission that who has the best pizza is not the foremost concern when discussing pizza. I’d like to think that the issue was discussed (by at least a few of us…and damned few at that) and we were all able to reach common ground and concede each other’s view point were equally valid.

However I find there is one small last bit of business to contend with before I can officially declare the whole Subject of the Great  Pizza Chew 2014 closed….

<Screen view changes to one of the picnic field from which Impish makes his opening comments on Saturdays. As the camera zooms in to the Pavilion you see a fairly large object covered with a painters tarp  on the ground in front of the stage situated squarely under the podium. Impish from his padded position grunts quizzically and sits up to get a better view as Diaman and Ginny are led to the podium by the iLethal and directed to place their hands on a large button.>

Ladies if you’d please do the honors of the unveiling.

<The ladies push the button together and the tarp in the picnic area briskly climbs up into the air and out of camera shot unveiling some sort of monument stone. The camera slowly zooms in for a closer look…>

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NOW the Subject of the Great  Pizza Chew 2014  is officially closed!

I’m off for some last minute cramming before the tests start enjoy the issue.

Let's Roll 26

 

1stcupcoffee

 

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https://www.facebook.com/momsagainsteverything/posts/1490457727857120

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Inner beauty <cough!> yeah ok, that what the guy in our next photo has too, ‘inner beauty’. Just like you he’s a real beaut all right!

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We’ve got some bad news. Toronto’s larger than life Mayor Rob Ford has withdrawn his re-election bid due to the discovery of an abdominal tumor believed to be cancer after complaining of abdominal pains for over three months. Comics everywhere are wailing, gnashing their teeth and pulling out their hair.

The Top 5 Reasons We’ll Miss Toronto Mayor Rob Ford

  1. Now we have to focus on the more important things in the news, like which Kardashian is pregnant.
  2. The U.S. export of ill-fitting suits will drop off precipitously.
  3. We’re left with just the Maple Leafs when we want to point and laugh at Toronto.
  4. The nude photos hacked from his iPhone are suddenly worthless.

And the Number One Reason We’ll Miss Toronto Mayor Rob Ford…

  1. He really made you feel that ANYONE could be a mayor.

 

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Jalapeno Popper Dip

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Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 35 – 45 minutes

 

 

  Ingredients

2 blocks Cream Cheese, softened,
3 fresh jalapeño peppers (2 diced and 1 split in half for garnish),
1/2c.  Shredded Habanero  or Pepper Jack cheese, divided,
1/2c. Mayonnaise,
1 (7 oz. can)Diced Green Chiles,
1 (2..5 oz. pkg.) 100% Bacon Pieces,
1/2c. Grated Parmesan Cheese, divided,

Directions

1 Preheat oven to 350°F.
2  Place the cream cheese in 9×11-inch baking dish and put in oven 5 minutes.
3 Remove cream cheese from oven and add mayo, combine until well mixed.
4  Add the rest of the ingredients, reserving a 1/4 cup each of the parmesan and Habanero Jack cheese.
5 Top the dip with the remaining cheese and halved jalapeño.
6 Bake uncovered at 350°F for 30-40 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling and slightly browned.

Chicken Chilaquiles

Campbell's Chicken Chilaquiles Recipe

Prep 20 min.

 Total 40 min.

Serves 4

Servings: about 1 cup Cook: 10 min.

Bake: 10 min.

This Mexican inspired dish features a combination of shredded cooked chicken, tomato chipotle soup, onion, garlic, cheese and crispy tortilla strips. It’s easy to prepare, super delicious and guaranteed to be a hit at your dinner table!

What You’ll Need

10 corn tortillas (6-inch), cut into 1-inch-thick strips
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 medium onion, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1 teaspoon dried oregano leaves, crushed
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell’s® Condensed Tomato, Chipotle & Olive Oil Soup
1 cup water
2 cups shredded cooked chicken
1/4 teaspoon freshly cracked black pepper
1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese or crumbled queso fresco (about 4 ounces)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves
4 wedges limes

How to Make It

  • 1 Heat the oven to 350°F.  Arrange the tortilla strips on 2 baking sheets. 
  • 2 Bake for 10 minutes or until the tortilla strips are crisp and lightly browned.  Reserve 5 tortilla strips.
  • 3 Heat the oil in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat.  Add the onion and oregano and cook for 2 minutes, stirring occasionally.  Add the garlic and cook and stir for 1 minute.
  • 4 Stir in the soup and water and heat to a boil.  Reduce the heat to medium.  Cook, uncovered, for 5 minutes.  Stir in the chicken and black pepper and cook until the mixture is hot and bubbling.
  • 5 Stir in the remaining tortilla strips and cook until the mixture is hot.  Remove the skillet from the heat.  Sprinkle the chicken mixture with the cheese.  Top with the reserved tortilla strips and the cilantro, if desired.  Serve with the lime wedges.

NUTELLA NO-BAKE COOKIES

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Ingredients

2 cups sugar
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup Nutella
3 cups old-fashioned oats
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
Pinch of salt

Directions

Place sugar, cocoa powder, milk, and butter in a saucepan.
Bring to a boil over medium heat; boil for 1 to 1 1/2 minutes.
Remove saucepan from the heat; add Nutella, oats, vanilla extract, and salt.
Stir until well combined.
Drop the oat mixture by spoonfuls onto wax paper and let cool.

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A 94-year-old prophecy is fulfilled.

H.L. Mencken (born 1880 – died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic and registered Democrat. Mencken wrote the editorial below while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26,1920 edition.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:H_l_mencken.jpg

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.” – H.L.  Mencken, the Baltimore Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

So it was written, and so on  Tuesday, January 20, 2009 it came to pass…

 

LL PSA Banner

Best Way to Clean Grout (EVER!!!)

I have to admit I was pretty skeptical, especially when I got a load of Mr. Wooly Caterpillar Eyebrows. After watching this though the parts to  make two of them it are on my next shopping trip list. We’ll be moving in two months and that always means lots of cleaning needs doing.  If nothing else I figure these should pay for themselves in times saved cleaning bathrooms alone.

 

ASK YOUR PHARMACIST

What happens when you ask for help with an erection lasting more than 4 hours?

I walked into a drug store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman I was talking to said that she was the only pharmacist and as she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees.

She then asked if she could help me. I said that it was something that I would be much more comfortable discussing with a male pharmacist.

The lady pharmacist assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, “This is tough for me to discuss, but I get erections every day that last more than four hours. It causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment, and I was wondering what you could give me for it.”

The pharmacist said, “Just a minute, I’ll talk to my sister.”

When she returned, she said, “We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do”.

. . . 1/3 ownership in the store,

. . . A company pickup truck,

. . . A king size bed and

. . . $3,000 a month in living expenses.

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All in all I don’t think I made a bad deal! The sisters (shown here prior to our first outing/alleviation treatment session) are not hard to take and I gained another bolt hole, some decent perks, interest in a new business venture and a little monthly pocket money!

 

 

Limerick 2

There once  was a girl named Hortence,
Whose breasts were very immense.
One day, while  playing soccer,
Out popped her left knocker,
And she kicked it right over  the fence.
================
There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung  by her toes in a doorway.
She said to her beau,
“Just look at me Joe,
I  think I’ve discovered one more way.”
===============
There was a young  fellow from Sparta.
A really magnificent farter.
On the strength of one  bean
He’d fart “God Save the
Queen,”
And Beethoven’s Moonlight  Sonata.

Can't Fix Stupid

Burned armpit hair causes Idaho car crash

Teen lost control of vehicle after passenger lit his armpit hair on fire

Published On: Sep 18 2014 10:28:04 AM CDT

An SUV full of teens crashed in Idaho after police say one of the passengers lit the driver’s armpit hair on fire.

The crash happened at about 5:30 a.m. Sunday.

According to police, 18-year-old Tristan Myers lost control of the vehicle after a 16-year-old passenger used a lighter to set Myers’ armpit hair on fire.

Two girls in the backseat, ages 15 and 16, were thrown from the vehicle.

All five teens in the vehicle were injured and received medical treatment. None were wearing seatbelts, Boise TV station WREM reported.

Myers was cited for inattentive driving. The lighter-wielding passenger was ticketed for interfering with the driver’s safe operation of a vehicle.

Uhh…yeah ummm…(sigh!)…sorry but I got nuthin’ What could I possibly add to this to make this funnier or more ludicrous a story?

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 Well the promised time has finally arrived! Ginny has made a comment publicly in Saturday’s DragonLaffs comments section about tattoos and Diaman’s bum, which I’ll admit has garnered a considerable male following among our readers. Privately she’s expressed her belief that her is just as good and that Impish and I are playing favorites.

Well never let it not be said Impish nor I do not appreciate each woman for their own particular charms.

I GIVE YOU THE DL/LL ELECTONIC MEDIA ENTERPRISES DEBUTE OF GINNY”S BACKSIDE!

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Yup! Definite Jersey girl! Half naked but still wearing her jewelry while the white cheekers proclaim ‘naughty but innocent’ at the same time for plausible deniability in case she changes her mind  and a stranglehold on the bottle of Jack!

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Here she is again “down the shore wid Impish”. Personally I doubt that’s the Jersey shore the water is too blue and there’s no oil slicks or medical wastes floating in on it though that is undoubtedly a spot of Impish’s drool making that round spot on the camera lens.

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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14 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 265

  1. Ginny says:

    Well DEAR Lethal Leprechaun to begin with…I wish you a very Happy Birthday, and may all your wishes come true. From the looks of your flood zone pictures, me thinks you will have to do as people down the shore in Jersey did after Sandy. Put the house on stilts, high enough to give you a damn bloody nose to get through your front door. I feel for you my friend, we have a finished basement, due to heavy rains one day we had water coming in. We shop vaccumed for 12-18 hours. But our efforts paid off our fridge, freezer, washer, dryer and wall to wall carpeting was saved.

    Loved the way you put the pizza battle to rest. Your declaration of being right, won’t fly long if
    you say that to Molly…. so enjoy it now….lol. The Nutella cookies has my knees shaking….but I’m OK.

    Finally, loved my image in the white thong and Jack Daniels…and you nailed it with me frolicking in the surf down the Jersey shore. Truth be told…I prefer SEX ON THE BEACH….over Jack Daniels.

    Another outstanding issue Lethal. AGAIN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Our place on South Padre is built that way, the first floor is garage which we use as storage when we’re not in residence and as a screen porch when we are. The actual living and sleeping spaces are on the second floor. Everything is in those space bags for storage and them in snap lid tubs. When we leave for the season, the stuff gets hauled out the pontoon boat trailered and the tubs loaded on the pontoon boat before its slid in the garage (picnic table gets converted into 2 park benches and laid over the pontoons) There are several cabinets as high up on the walls as they can go (poor Molly needs a step ladder to get into them). This has served us well until the last go around with hurricanes when the water in the garage got so high it floated the pontoon boat strapped down to the trailer and all smashing it against the ceiling in the garage and doing $2500 worth of damage to the boat and garage.

      Molly gave me a wonderful card for my birthday (among other things) in it she said she wanted to give me something different and unique for my birthday so I am right in all things for 24 hours!

      BE CAREFUL with those cookies! There is a lot of fiber there and they can be surprisingly moving in a very short time if you over indulge! Also I find that dropping the spoonfuls into mini muffin tin liners makes dealing with/storing and eating them much easier.

      As far as sex on the beach goes, I’m more concerned with getting the sex than where I get it (within reason I have to maintain my reputations and standards after all- other wise I might as well be a Dragon from Jersey!)

      • Ginny says:

        Wow, I’ll say you had problems, with the water in South Padre. It truly is getting very scary with the weather we have been having over the years. I always think Mother Nature is off her meds again when we get
        hit with these storms! What a great wife you have, 24 hours of being right! So I guess you will be staying up till midnight….LOL Now about the sex on the beach. heavens you make me blush. I was referring to the drink SEX ON THE BEACH. OJ, peach schnapps,vodka and cranberry juice. Well I truly hope you had a Happy Birthday. Cheers….

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        With regards to So Padre thats the down side of living on an Island on the Hurricane prone Gulf.
        Hell for that matter its the down side of living on the Gulf coast pretty much anywhere!
        I went to bed early because as I pointed out Molly leaves before I’m up in the morning (generally her going out the door and the car’s headlights shining in the bedroom window are what wake me to start my day) and since she doesn’t get home until roughly 6:30 at night I don’t see but 4 or 5 hours hours out of her and likely as not a good part of that we’re both doing school work.. Because of this logic I’ll be taking my 24 hours of correctness in 2 12 hours consecutive Sunday periods. LEss that is the exactly 1 minute I used to explain the logic to her and force her to suspend her gift because I was right!

        WHAT?! what was that? A Jersey girl BLUSHED??!!! Without the aid of make up?!
        STOP THE PRESSES!!

      • Ginny says:

        Yes, this Irish lassie does blush,(no makeup required) whether it be NJ or Texas. So get the presses rolling again…smart arse. You are really milking your 24 hours of rightness….poor Molly. So you’ve mentioed school work on several occasions….teacher or student?

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        We’re both students. Mine is a 2 year course for a certificate (followed by several A+ certification exams most likely and possibly a couple Cisco Certifications). After that there is the possibility of my looking into some on line school programs teaching Computer Forensics.
        Molly has gone for 2 years already at the same college I’m attending and transferred this fall to U of H for another 2 to complete a Masters in Logistics w/ a minor in Business. Once she completes that she’ll transfer to University of Alabama’s on line program and hopefully obtain a Phd.

      • Ginny says:

        Wow very impressive! Now, clue me in, where do you find the time for Dragon Laffs and cooking? Busy, busy leprechaun.

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Finding time for LEPRECHAUN LAUGHS is becoming more and more difficult as time progresses in my course load to
        be totally honest. I try and spend at least 15 min everyday starting with the day it posts working on the next issue and an hour or two
        on the weekend.

        Cooking takes part in stages during the day, I’ll decide on dinner and take stuff out to thaw when I get my coffee and breakfast, prep some veggies while my lunch heats things like that. When it comes time to actually start cooking I grab a text book and the note pad for it and move to the dining room table where I read and take notices while keeping an eye on the stove or until Molly calls.

        Molly get home by 6:30 and we’ll eat dinner in front of the tube where I try not to remain past 8 PM- or 8:30 at the latest. This gives me 2 to 3 hours more time hard at work (school or actually working for the old greenback) before I retire for the night.

      • Ginny says:

        Holy S#$% the two of you are non stop. I get overwhelmed just reading what you do in a day.
        I guess I had days like that back when I was a YOUNG . I worked for the Port Authority and helped type all the minutes for the Commissioner’s meetings that built The World Trade Center. There were days going in at 8:30 and working until midnight or later. At night I was a Weight Watchers Leader and had two classes of my own. Paul became a professional firefighter and worked 24 hours on and 72 of f. Now we are both retired and our days are “so what’s on the agenda today”?
        Same as yesterday…..NOTHING.

        So we don’t have to keeping talking through Word Press…and I have some great recipes and funny stuff you might be able to use. Email me privately, then I will have yours. I send stuff to Impish lots of times.

        You and Molly should stop and smell the roses once in awhile too!

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        Well it does keep us going, out of trouble, out of each others hair (usually) and make us more appreciative
        of the time we do spend together I have to say. NOW we just have to wait and see if it pays off by making us any better off

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        BTW- care to share (or better yet I’m sure Impish will agree) demonstrate just how far that blush will extend?

      • Ginny says:

        Just my face and neck, I’m not Snooki from “JERSEY SHORE” LMAO

      • lethalleprechaun says:

        True dat- as evidence by your brains and much smaller/ perter backside!ROFL

      • Ginny says:

        That show was an embrassement for people living in NJ….gawd!!!!!

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