Dragon Laffs #1327


cinco de mayo headerAs many of you probably know, tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo and although many of you … okay, ALL of you … will treat this holiday as just another holiday to celebrate with drink and dance, there is some real history and modern significance to the holiday.  Here, let me go to my library… I’ve got an excellent reference book here somewhere
Let me just get these … um … “artistic magazines” … out of the way first
Let’s see…
Okay, here it is:
The Liberal Leanings of Lethal Leprechaun
oh no, wait.  That one’s blank.  Hang on.
Dark and Dangerous Details of Impish Dragon’s Spiritual Journeys
Damn, that one’s blank, too!
Ah, here it is: The REAL History and Explanations of Holidays, by Dr. L. L. Leprechaun…hmm, wonder what the middle L stands for?  At any rate, here’s what he has to say about Cinco de Mayo:

 

Cinco de Mayo (Spanish for “fifth of May”) is a celebration held on May 5. It is celebrated in the United States and regionally in Mexico, primarily in the state of Puebla, where the holiday is called El Día de la Batalla de Puebla (English: The Day of the Battle of Puebla). It originated with Mexican-American communities in the American West as a way to commemorate the cause of freedom and democracy during the first years of the American Civil War,and today the date is observed in the United States as a celebration of Mexican heritage and pride. In the state of Puebla, the date is observed to commemorate the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, under the leadership of General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico’s Independence Day—the most important national patriotic holiday in Mexico—which is celebrated on September 16.
 
Cinco de Mayo is thought to be the first time Mexicans were free to commence their illegal migration across our borders which they have been doing in ever increasing numbers (now with Obama’s blessing and assistance) ever since. We used to refer to them as ‘wetbacks’ because many had to wade or swim the Rio Grande River which marks the border between the US and Mexico. Then we were told this was derogatory towards them and they resented us for it (apparently our resentment of their illegal presence and blatant disregard of our laws border & sovereignty doesn’t figure into it). We were told to  now call them illegal aliens and that lasted for a while. Now the PC term is ‘Undocumented Democratic Voters & Lawn Care/Day Labor Specialists’.
 
Cinco de Mayo should not be confused with ‘Sinko de Mayo(naise)’, something which occurs after having to eat one of Lethal’s famous 1/2# (cooked weight) double smoked bacon & Heirloom Beefsteak Tomato BLT sandwiches while leaning over the  kitchen sink to prevent wearing  it the rest of the day despite a bib being employed. That is something entirely different far more pleasurable and lots more desirable than ‘Undocumented Democratic Voters & Lawn Care/Day Labor Specialists’ ever will be.

Okay, so there you have it.  A completely unbiased and factual description of this opportunity to drink and dance…. or … um … I mean special holiday.

So, from here, we take right off into our jokes and laughter….so…

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Okay, so maybe not THAT quickly into the jokes and laughter.  A bit more business to take care of first. 

Before we get started, I’d like to take the opportunity to wish our dear poetess of puns, one of our oldest and dearest dragonettes, our dear Diaman a huge Get Well Soon! From your two favorite mythological and phantasmagorical creatures…
Diaman has had a really tough couple of weeks.  Without going into private details, please, in all seriousness, keep her in your thoughts and prayers.  I know that Lethal and I will.  Get well dear friend and fellow camper.

1And we all know that’s so very true….now, here’s EXACTLY what you need
2

This next one is VERY important.  I’ve always had a real sweet spot for nurses, they’re sexy, they’re smart and they love to flirt and tease.  And of that, is all I will say…

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Okay, so now all joking aside.  I know that the last couple of cartoons have been of a humorous nature, but this one is deadly serious…
6Now, you probably remember that my doctor is Lethal Leprechaun and he is a professional doctor of… are you ready for it…
If you’ve been around before you already know what his specialty is…
he’s a doctor of…
Quackery!  He’s got business cards and everything.
So you see.  The last one is a real threat.
But do get well dear.

So now, we can get on with the laughter and fun.

14

TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED THE U.S. SECRET SERVICE TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT THE DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE FOR THE 2016 PRESIDENCY.

FOR SECURITY REASONS, THEY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT HILLARY CLINTON TAKE A MUSLIM NAME, SO FROM NOW ON, PLEASE REFER TO HER BY HER NEW MUSLIM NAME:

5 SELDOM BIN LAYED

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DragonPapa1 (214)

Piff The Magic Dragon….quite literally.  and remember…you HAVE to go to the website to see this!!!
http://dragonlaffs.com

Hey Wheats!  You were such a fan before, here’s a couple more for you!  Enjoy!

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This is fantastic!  A spectacle worth celebrating all on it’s own.  Cinco De Mayo ain’t got nuthin’ on this one!
Remember, you’ll have to go to the website to view the videos…
http://dragonlaffs.com

NEW YORK (CNN) –

As construction workers cheered, the final two pieces of a 408-foot spire were hoisted high above their heads Thursday to the top of One World Trade Center.

Draped with the American flag, the silver spire settled on a temporary platform. Final installation of the pieces will happen later.

“(It’s a) beacon that’ll be seen for miles around and give a tremendous indication to people around the entire region, and the world, that we’re back and we’re better than ever,” said Steven Plate, director of construction, CNN affiliate WABC reported.

Once the building is complete, it will stand at a height of 1,776 feet — an allusion to the year of the birth of the nation.

Already the tallest in New York City, One World Trade Center will be the highest building in the Western Hemisphere.

Delivery of the final two sections was delayed by wind and rain, said Anthony Hayes, assistant director of media for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey. The crowning pieces were supposed to have been delivered last Monday morning.

Thursday is the second anniversary of the death of Osama bin Laden, the mastermind behind the September 11, 2001, attacks that toppled the original World Trade Center towers.

The spire will contain 18 separate sections of steel and three communication rings. The first — and heaviest — steel section was installed in January, weighing more than 67 tons, according to a statement from the Port Authority.

It will serve as an antenna for a television broadcast facility housed in the building.

“This is like the icing on the cake for New York,” construction worker Dennis Muia said, WABC reported.

For more fantastic pictures, check out this link:

http://thechive.com/2013/05/03/putting-the-final-piece-on-the-one-world-trade-center-13-photos/

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WOMAN:  “Hi Honey, it’s me.  Are you at the club?”
MAN:”Yes.”
WOMAN:  “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.  It’s only $2,000.
Is it OK if I buy it?
MAN:  “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN:  “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models.I saw one
I really            liked.”
MAN:  “How much?”
WOMAN:  $90,000.market.
MAN:  “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN:  “Great! Oh, and one more thing… I was just talking to Janie and found out
that the house I wanted last year is back on the market.  They’re asking $980,000
for it
MAN:  “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They’ll probably take it.
If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it’s what you really want.
WOMAN:    “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much.”
MAN:  “Bye! I love you, too”.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment,
mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, “Anyone know whose  phone this is?”

504

Obama rated 5th best US President ever!
Of the total of 44 US Presidents:
Obama rated 5th best president ever. I was just reading a Democratic publicity
release that said, “… after a little more than 5 years, Obama has been rated the 5th best president ever.” The details according to White House Publicists…
* Reagan, Lincoln, and 8 others tied for first,
* 15 presidents tied for second,
* 17 other presidents tied for third,
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th, and
* Obama came in fifth

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occupy
Rhe
rosie
sea

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a49
a50

a51

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Yup, that’s me as a baby.  I used to get into all kinds of trouble.

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The Federal Reserve Bank in Washington D.C. introduced the new one-hundred-dollar bill complete with Ben Franklin’s portrait on it plus dozens of new security features. It was time to bring out a new one-hundred-dollar bill. China’s got all the old ones.

Bill Clinton made his debut on Twitter on last week. He is not really in safe hands with technology. If you think the Secret Service protects the president, the U.S. Office of Patents delayed approval of the cell phone camera until Bill Clinton was safely out of office.

President Obama met Jordan’s King Abdullah at the White House last Friday as pressure mounted to intervene in the region. Action looks imminent. The day before, he stopped by the George W. Bush Library to give a speech and to pick up the plans for invading Syria.

A survey says that 61% of all Mexicans say they wouldn’t move to the U.S. even if they could. The other 39% say it isn’t so bad once you get here.

The U.S. paid off $35 Billion of the national debt, the first time cutting the deficit in six years. We still owe $16 Trillion. That’s about the same effect on your mortgage as finding a nickel in your living room sofa.

A study says that unemployment fraud is costing the U.S. Government $3.3 Billion a year.  The problem is, when someone goes to the unemployment office and says they are out of work, who is not going to believe them?

China and France have vowed to promote a multipolar world where there is no dominant superpower. To which Joe Biden says we are already multipolar. There is the North Pole and the South Pole.

An Illinois child with an IQ of 147 has become the youngest person to be admitted to Mensa. Or as people in Alabama are saying, “What’s Mensa?”

 

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I don’t know the name of it, but it must be the best book ever written!

7

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Today’s last word is a pictorial called:
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8b
8c

I really want one of these!!…

8d

8e
8f
8g
8h
8i
This is a GREAT idea…and I’ve seen different aspects of this.  One was even a shelf…
8j
This is a pretty cool idea, too…
8k
This is a great idea for a house with kids or a day care…
8l
This is really a good morning…
8m
I really want one of these, too.  Showering with a friend now means you can each have your own spigot…although, for the main shower in my quarters at the office, when I shower with the harem, we might need a few more hoses…
8n
8o

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1327

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    There has been much speculation down through the ages what that middle initial L stands for in my name.

    Here are some of the more popular guesses (no order) and the reasoning(?) behind them.

    Lascivious (So I like to look at the female form and spout naughty Limericks! That doesn’t make me a Lounge Lizard- that’s Impish’s Department!)

    Litigious (some smart ass penned this one in on my Law Degree while I wasn’t looking for a joke. I sued him for defamation)

    Loan Shark (what can I say? You Make a few examples out of people who think they can welsh on you because you loaned them money sans collateral and you get a certain reputation.)

    Lucifer (Me dear Mother swore I had the devil in me and this was the middle name she should have given me)

    Legendary (Well ok I admit it, in certain circles I AM one but I generally don’t advertise it)

    Longinus (I think Pope Constantine started this rumor. However I was never a Roman Centurion, nor was I anyplace near Golgotha that day. I’m certainly no Saint and besides Longinus’s name was Casca Rufio not Lethal Something)

    Lothario (This rumor was started by several jelious women in Connecticut who were rather understandably upset with my moving to Texas with intent to marry Molly (presumably) over the loss of my intimate favors and sterling companionship.)

    Limerick (admittedly I DO have a penchant for them- the naughtier the better)

    Lorcan (me Da always maintained this was me middle name as it means silent or fierce in Gaelic. Seemed he was always telling me to shut up when I interjected to point out he was going about something all wrong. Then again with the 1st name of Lethal, ‘Fierce’ makes a bloody fine second name so this one COULD be the right one you never know)

    Loaded (I’m PRETTY sure this one was started by Impish or one of his Dragon buddies after I matched hoard values with them and they all lost…badly)

    What is it really? I’ll never tell. a dozen wild sexually uninhibited virgins couldn’t drag it out of me! At least I don’t THINK they could but I’m more than willing to find out!

  2. lethalleprechaun says:

    Punny, but my version tastes better trust me!!
    Thanks for taking the time to comment

  3. Chris says:

    Really enjoyed as usual, but I think there is another explanation for the Cinco de Mayo holiday

    Most people don’t know that back in 1912, Hellmann’s mayonnaise was
    manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
    of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was
    to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New
    York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise
    ever delivered to Mexico . But as we know, the great ship did not make
    it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank. The people of
    Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its
    delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great,
    that they declared a National Day of Mourning.

    The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known,
    of course, as –
    Sinko De Mayo.

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