Leprechaun Laughs # 131 for Wednesday 03/07/2012


Harp Ale Opening Banner

FAITH, BEGORRAH & BLESSED ST. PATRICK HIMSELF!  Will ya be lookin’ at the day it ‘tis!  The day of all days of the year be nearly here again at long last ! Ye keen what day I’m speak of right me boy-o? You don’t know??!! WHY ST PATRICK’S DAY OF COURSE LADDIE! Tis but a scant 10 days away!

As it falls on the weekend I’ll have a full day to devote to the celebration and revelry- was well as a day to recover from all that devotion. Impish will be in charge of posting on St Patrick’s day since it’s a Saturday. Now I realize that leaving a Polish Dragon in charge of ANYTHING much less the single Irish Holiday that has become universally observed makes about as much sense as giving a pyromaniac a box of matches and locking him in the powder shed, but hey from a safe distance and with suitable beverage in hand both can still be damned entertaining! Besides I’m SURE I’ll be dropping a few sage words of wisdom on the subject for him and that Mrs. Dragon true daughter of Erin that she is will be watching closely over his shoulder magical dancing rolling pin at the ready.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank my Lethal Leprechaun Fan(atic)s for sending me material for use in a St Patrick’s Day issue. I do have to admit though some of it is making me a wee uncomfortable and I think there may well be a liberal and/or a Democrat in your midst, See what I mean right after we get our coffee below.

Open Logo 1



See what I mean?! I know I keep saying me “lucky charms’” are magically delicious, but BELIEVE ME I am directing that remark toward the female readership and in a sexual connotation!


A wife returning from a fishing trip with her husband was telling her troubles to a neighbor.
“I did everything all wrong again today,” she said.
“I talked too loud, I used the wrong bait, I reeled in too soon, and I caught more fish than he did.”



important msg

Ok right off lets get the nasty bits out of the way and do a little official housekeeping. Recently despite having addressed BOTH of these issues repeatedly in the past (to say nothing of directly with the two malcontents in question prior as well) we have AGAIN been accused in the comments of both lying about the facts in stories and basically when you come right down to it being clueless about  how to post content to WordPress and run a blog, despite having a run one more or less successfully for two years.

The first charge frankly pisses us right the hell off. We need to lie to make Obama look inept, incompetent and unqualified just about as much as Impish or I need a 3rd eyeball in place  of our navels! As for the rest of the liberals, Democrats & Occupiers, well lets say we could never make up lies and distortions of the truth half as fantastic or incredulous as the actual truth.

The second insinuation is nothing if not downright blatantly insulting, especially in view of the fact that the self anointed blogging expert in fact does not even have one of his own on which to base his expertise pretentions!

Actually this is another case of the truth being even funnier than any story either of us could make up. If your curious, read the following new official disclaimer and search the comments. Should be worth a good giggle or two for your efforts.

Schmuck & Schmoo Disclaimer

Thanks to these two knuckleheads this disclaimer now has a new permanent home amongst the other pages of the blog ( the black stripe separating the blogs title from each issue’s opening banners. This way in the future when they or any other detractors feel the need to get stupid we will no longer have to waste the time and effort necessary to correct their stupidly held misnomers…unless we feel like making fun of them.

Now that all the unpleasant but apparently sadly necessary chores have been taken care of lets get down the the business of making you insanely giggle like you need a straight jacket while you snort coffee out your noses!



Confucius Say …

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

A good woman will do 70 chores around the house. Cooking and 69.

A vagina is like a very small hotel. One must leave his bag outside.

A Platonic Relationship develops after two good friends are tired of screwing each other.

A chicken is the result of a sitting hen, while a baby is the result of standing cock.

Man with one foot on ‘yesterday’ and one foot on ‘tomorrow’ will end up pissing on ‘today’.

Man with a broken condom is called a Daddy

When one man rub lotion on another man, it is called “Men-Gay”.

Man who mix Viagra and Ex-Lax, doesn’t know if he’s coming or going.

If a Bulldog and a Shitsu are mated, it would be called a Bullshits”.



Impish Insight 18 



Military-grade mug- Battle Mug is like the Hummer of drinking vessels!

The Battle Mug is made from a solid block of aluminum, features a handle from an AR-15 rifle, and has mounting rails for accessories such as night-vision scopes, the Opmod Battle Mug can hold a pint of coffee along with laser sights and night vision scopes. There’s a tactical bottle opener, too.

What happens when some old army buddies decide to create a mug? Well, in the case of the Battle Mug, they machine the sucker out of a solid block of 6061 T6 billet aluminum, add three military-spec 1913 scope rails on its sides, and stick a carry handle from an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle on one of those rails – they leave the other two open, so users can add their own night-vision scopes, laser sights, or other gear needed for really heavy-duty drinking. Finally, they slap on a US$189 price tag – that’s without the handle, which costs an additional $33.95.

If we said it once we said it a bazillion times QUITCHERBITCHEN over not seeing videos in the e-mail poor excuse for a version of the actual blog! Come see them where and how we intend for you to! Don’t whine at us in the comments section of the blog either about we’re wasting our time because you fail to notice they work fine in the blog. If you do we’ll be forced to make fun of your sorry butt JUST LIKE THIS!!


The Battle Mug has a 24-ounce (0.7-liter) beverage capacity, and its handle can be removed when it has to submit to the indignity of being washed. It also has a military-spec Type III anodized finish, a crenellated base, and each one comes with its own serial number.

Tough drinkers of the world can order the mug from the company website: http://www.opticsplanet.net/opmod-battle-mug.html




Celtic Consumer Warnings


Some time shortly after Thanksgiving 2011 I posted a Celtic Consumer Warning dealing with the subject of which companies went out of their way to support our troops, as well as pointed out a couple who pointedly did not if I remember it correctly. I suggested that you give preferential consideration to those places that were going out of their way to support our troops who were their employees as well as give those who were not the same thing they were giving our troops, primarily the cold shoulder and the fickle finger of fate.

Once again I am coming to you with a similar request a bet for a different reason. to promote our participation in the OMG! Obama Must Go Campaign.


Political donations… This shows both Democrat and Republican information!

Price Club/Costco donated $225K, 99% went to Democrats
Rite Aid donated $517K, 60% went to Democrats
Magla Products (Stanley tools, Mr. Clean) donated $22K, 100% went to Democrats
Warnaco (undergarments) donated $55K, 73% went to Democrats
Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia donated $153K, 99% went to Democrats
Estee Lauder donated $448K, 95% went to Democrats
Guess, Inc. donated $145K, 98% went to Democrats
Calvin Klein donated $78K, 100% went to Democrats
Liz Claiborne, Inc. donated $34K, 97% went to Democrats
Levi Straus donated $26K, 97% went to Democrats
Olan Mills donated $175K, 99% went to Democrats

WalMart donated $467K, 97% went to Republicans
K-Mart donated $524K, 86% went to Republicans
Home Depot donated $298K, 89% went to Republicans
Target donated $226K, 70% went to Republicans
Circuit City Stores donated $261K, 95% went to Republicans
3M Co. donated $281K, 87% went to Republicans
Hallmark Cards donated $319K, 92% went to Republicans
Amway donated $391K, 100% Republicans
Kohler Co. (plumbing fixtures) donated $283K, 100% Republicans
B.F. Goodrich (tires) donated $215K, 97% went to Republicans
Proctor & Gamble donated $243K, 79% went to Republicans


Southern Wine & Spirits donated $213K, 73% went to Democrats
Joseph E. Seagrams & Sons (incl. beverage business + considerable media interests) donated $2M+, 67% went to Democrats
Gallo Winery [Pelosi connections] donated $337K, 95% went to Democrats

Coors & Budweiser donated $174K, 92% went to Republicans
Brown-Forman Corp. (Southern Comfort, Jack Daniels, Bushmills, Korbel wines – as well as Lenox China, Dansk, Gorham Silver) donated $644 K — 80% went to Republicans


Sonic Corporation donated $83K, 98% went to Democrats
Triarc Companies (Arby’s, T.J. Cinnamon’s, Pasta Connections) donated $112K, 96% went to Democrats

Pilgrim’s Pride Corp. (chicken) donated $366K, 100% went to Republicans
Outback Steakhouse donated $641K, 95% went to Republicans
Tricon Global Restaurants (KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell) donated $133K, 87% went to Republicans
Brinker International (Maggiano’s, Brinker Cafe, Chili’s, On the Border, Macaroni Grill, Crazymel’s, Corner Baker, EatZis) donated $242K, 83% went to Republicans
Waffle House donated $279K, 100% went to Republicans
McDonald’s Corp. donated $197K, 86% went to Republicans
Darden Restaurants (Red Lobster, Olive Garden, Smokey Bones, Bahama Breeze) donated $121K, 89% went to Republicans
Heinz Republicans $64,000 Democrats $21,300… Kerry’s wife’s company!

Traveling and/or dining

Hyatt Corporation donated $187K of which 80% went to Democrats
Marriott International $323K, 81% went to Republicans
Holiday Inns donated $38K, 71% went to Republicans

So as your can clearly see, your patronage of certain establishments and brands has a direct correlation to the Liberals & Democrats Election War Chest and their candidates Coffers. Same of course holds true of the Republicans & Conservatives.

I would ask that you keep this information in mind same as you did who was supporting our troops when you did your Christmas shopping.

If we do this we can not only make it that much harder on the Democrats & Obama come November but we can also send these companies a clear message that playing the political game can be very business costly. Personally I am of the mind that they monies that these corporations donate should either be matching to both parties or go into the same account as the monetary donations you can check off on our Income Tax forms and then again be divided equally.

As for myself, I have already started boycotting those who give only to the Democrats. I used to hit Sonic at least once a week (they are one of the few places in Texas where you can get a decent New York style hot dog of Chili Dog) I refuse to go there any longer. Knowing a percentage of the price of each dog I order goes to the same people who put us even farther in the fiscal hole as well as to help keep someone who likely is not eligible never mind not qualified in the Presidency pretty much kills the taste for the hot dogs in my mouth.



Greatest movie line…

Most people say the greatest movie line was Clark Gable’s delivery to Vivien Leigh in Gone With the Wind: ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’.
But the greatest, most accurate, and most timely movie line was Bob Hope’s from a real oldie with Paulette Goddard and Richard Carlson in regards to a Zombie.

Sounds interesting? You want to see this? STOP WHINING & refer to the Luddie Schmuck & Liberal Schmoo Disclaimer Section 1 above.


Or in the immortal words of George Carlin (whom I don’t think realized he was speaking largely of Liberals & Democrats:


But then again George isn’t the only one who has an on point comment/observation about stupidity, before he came along there was John Wayne’s ( a staunch Republican and True American Patriot)  memorable quote on being stupid:




Possible Titles For Monica Lewinsky’s New Book

1. I Suck At My Job

2. What Really Goes Down In The White House

3. How I Blew It In Washington

4. You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President

5. Clear and Present Boner

6. Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule

7. Going Back for Gore

8. Podium Girl

9. Secret Services to the President

10. Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton

11. Deep Inside The Oval Office

12. The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions

13. She’s Chief of MY Staff!

14. Al Gore Is In Command For The Next 30 Minutes

15. How To Beat Off the Government

16. Going Down and Moving Up

17. Members of the Presidential Cabinet

18. Me and My Big Mouth

19. How To Get Ahead in Business



The Origin of Pets

Where do pets come from?

It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on the question, “Where do pets come from?”

And Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, “But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.”

And God said, “No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.”

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam’s guardian angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him humility.”

And the Lord said, “No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not worthy of adoration.”

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam.

And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog wagged his tail.

And Cat did not care one way or the other.



VIDEO: The Navy has a fully operational electromagnetic railgun and it’s awesome!

Posted by Dan Seitz on March 2nd, 2012 at 11:50 am Click here for original article

For those of you who haven’t seen the brilliance that is Eraser, you might be wondering what a railgun is. Essentially, it’s a magnetic Howitzer: the rails are magnetized, and a projectile is placed on them. The intense magnetic fields force the projectile along the rails and fling it out the barrel, where anything in front of it is going to have a very, very bad day.

Why is this so interesting? Two reasons. First, the lack of chemical reactions needed means it won’t be prone to explosions like current munitions. Two, experimental railguns have thrown projectiles at more than five thousand miles per hour. That’s nearly eight times the speed of sound.

You want to see it in action? We can oblige. A test shot fires from the Office of Naval Research-funded Electromagnetic Railgun prototype launcher located at the Naval Surface Warfare Center Dahlgren Division. The test shots begin a month-long series of full-energy tests to evaluate the technology. This prototype, developed by BAE, is the first of two industry-built launchers that will bring the Department of the Navy a step closer to producing a new-generation, long-range, weapon for surface ships

Sounds interesting? You want to see this? STOP WHINING & refer to the Luddie Schmuck & Liberal Schmoo Disclaimer Section 1 above. Are you getting this concept yet?


Yes, you just saw that bash through a chunk of concrete like it was paper.

The electromagnetic (EM) railgun prototype launcher that was recently installed at the Naval Surface Warfare Center (NSWC) in Dahlgren, Virginia, has commenced firing, kicking off a two-month-long series of full-energy tests. Predictably, the first full energy shots make for some pretty impressive video.

Following its delivery by BAE Systems on January 30, the first prototype demonstrator was installed and outfitted with a suite of sensors, high-speed cameras and measuring devices to allow for evaluation of the 32-megajoule weapon.

Following a series of low-energy test shots, evaluation of the launcher is now underway and will see tests conducted at 20 megajoules to 32 megajoules – one megajoule is equivalent to a 1-ton object being thrust at 100 mph (161 km/h). Test projectiles similar to those previously fired from NSWC Dahlgren’s laboratory launcher will be fired at speeds of 4,500 to 5,600 mph (7,242 to 9,012 km/h) using electricity instead of chemical propellants.

The U.S. Navy hopes the evaluation will help it reach its near-term goal of a 20- to 32-megajoule weapon for surface ships capable of shooting a distance of 50 to 100 nautical miles (57 to 115 miles/93 to 185 km).

A second launcher being built by General Atomics is scheduled for delivery in April.

First industry railgun delivered [Gizmag]

I want one. They say I can’t have one, but I want one. It would make Impish’s life so much more interesting when he tries to get the last word in by flying off before a discussion is over..


Jill meets Nadine for lunch.. “You’re looking very tired today, Nadine. Did you have a late night?”

“Yes,” replies Nadine, “but it was all very strange. While doing some gardening yesterday, I found a lamp, so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. He gave me a choice of two wishes.”

“Wow,” says Jill, “so what were the choices he gave you, Nadine?”

“He said he could either give me an excellent, sharp, 100% memory or else he could give my boyfriend a bigger willy.”

“So tell me already, Nadine, what did you choose?”

“I can’t remember,” replies Nadine.

Parting shot 2

There isn’t one this week. I’m backed up with work (for which I’m thankful) but have a nasty cold which is slowing me down badly so I really don’t have the time to do one. Beside I’d been sermonizing too much of late and it needs a rest.

If those reasons don’t cut it for you then how about this one? If Impish doesn’t have to do a Last Word then I don’t have to do a Parting Shot so blame the lack of one all on  Impish’s bad influence!

MagicallyDelicious(Offer to prove it open to good looking &/or rich single  women only!)


Lethal's Business Card

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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3 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 131 for Wednesday 03/07/2012

  1. Jeanne says:

    Another EXCELLENT post, LL!!! Thanks so much.

  2. lethalleprechaun says:


    I quite enjoyed and agree with your reply. I think you might have gone just a little over the top, but going over the top is what we do best. Anyway, threw in one comment that you may feel free to get rid of if you so desire. No hurt feelings either way.


    1.) I have come to strongly suspect that Liberal Schmoo Don is a devote Muslim based on his lack of any sense or appreciation of humor, coupled with his zealous regard and worship of the liberal’s Socialist Muslim Messiah.

    2.) I also question Liberal Schmoo Don’s understanding of the concept of parody which is defined as:

    par·o·dy (pr-d)
    n. pl. par·o·dies
    a. A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule. See Synonyms at caricature.
    b. The genre of literature comprising such works.
    2. Something so bad as to be equivalent to intentional mockery; a travesty: The trial was a parody of justice.

    3.) What our resident Liberal Schmoo Don DOES understand and apparently believe in all too well is their fondness for “liberally” (couldn’t help the pun sorry) spinning information, intentionally misrepresenting &/or misquoting through deliberate omission or “selective editing” to support their desired point. You see while Don quotes an article attributing those comments to someone overseas making fun of Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton and Republican candidate John McCain and of politicians in general, regardless of party as reported by NRO blogger Mark Steyn. Don once again conveniently (for his purposes and to suit the liberals position that everyone that does not support Obama exsists only to make up lies about him) quotes solely that portion of the article out of context which makes us look bad and him self-rightious in his indignation of us and our perceived “Obama bashing agenda”. The article also goes on to say:

    “Steyn is of course no fan of Obama, and he went on to say that Obama had “come awfully close” to making the parodied statement during his victory speech on June 3 at the close of the final Democratic primary elections. Here’s what Obama actually said on that occasion:

    Obama, June 3: This was the moment – this was the time – when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals. Thank you, God Bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.” http://www.factcheck.org/2008/08/obama-quote-rumors/

    Dragon here..poking my snout in… As a professional writer (amongst my many other talents) I have been specifically and deeply trained in the use of a little known device called a Thesaurus. It’s an amazing device and much too technical for the average man. (Thankfully, I’m a dragon and NOT an average man). Taking the two sentences in question:
    1. Changing the greatest nation in the history of the world
    2. remake this great nation
    You can easily see that the only significant difference is the word “remake”. Now comes that highly scientific and technical device called the Thesaurus and it tells me that a synonym of remake is change. So now, as ANYONE can see, the two sentences are similar enough to be gramatically the same.
    I’m just sayin’… Main Entry: metamorphose
    Part of Speech: verb
    Definition: convert, transform
    Synonyms: age, alter, be reborn, change, commute, develop, diverge, mature, mutate, remake , remodel, reshape, ripen, transfigure, translate, transmogrify, transmute, transubstantiate, vary
    Main Entry: metamorphose
    Part of Speech: verb
    Definition: convert, transform
    Synonyms: age, alter, be reborn, change, commute, develop, diverge, mature, mutate, remake , remodel, reshape, ripen, transfigure, translate, transmogrify, transmute, transubstantiate, vary
    Main Entry: metamorphose
    Part of Speech: verb
    Definition: convert, transform
    Synonyms: age, alter, be reborn, change, commute, develop, diverge, mature, mutate, remake , remodel, reshape, ripen, transfigure, translate, transmogrify, transmute, transubstantiate, vary

    Once again as you can clearly see if we are guilty of ANYTHING, it is of;

    1.) being far too tolerant of and lenient with Liberal Schmoos and the Obama Comment Police whining at us in this blog, ESPECIALLY Don’s incessant baseless criticisms.

    2.) attempting to put a humorous face on a serious truth. Obama since his election has made a practice of attempting to change those laws he does not like, legislate things in that the people do not want because HE wants them to be and to circumvent those laws and procedures he cannot get around legally. These are not accusations these are well and oft reported facts.

    2.a.) Using a humor concept that while a main stay of comedy is apparently to advanced for liberal to grasp w/o applying a proper disclaimer. (WHAT?! We need ANOTHER Liberal Schmoo disclaimer? More Liberal required red tape before we can exercise our Civil Right to Free Speech?)

    3.) Lastly we are guilty of calling a spade a spade and putting a clear concise and valid label (abet through humor and parody) on Obama’s actions.

    I will say I was pleasantly surprised to see Don at least make the ATTEMPT to back his baseless accusation up with the merest hint of fact even if it was warped , spun and selectively quoted to suit him. Why he must have spent an entire 3 minutes effort on that!

    And on a personal note I have to say I am insulted on behalf of myself and Impish by the label “cheap shot”. Considering what we pay to keep this blog up and running out of our pockets, have given from what meager funds we have collected for it to charity and all the time we spend on it as opposed to doing other endeavors which could be lining our pockets, our shots DO NOT come cheaply.

  3. Don Schindler says:

    Cheap shot at our President, who did not say

    “This phrase about changing “the greatest nation in the history of the world” wasn’t uttered by Barack Obama, however, or by any other candidate. It was a political in-joke poking a little fun at Hillary Clinton and John McCain (and politicians in general) which was posted to the National Review Online (NRO) blog “The Corner” by Mark Steyn on 28 January 2008:

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