Dragon Laffs #1180


F2010042501Adult content2
Trespasser1Good Morning Campers!  I hope everyone is doing well this morning.  Okay, before we get started, I want to file a quick complaint…. whoever is in charge of the damn weather around here, enough is enough already!  Been nice…really nice around here the last couple of days. Between 55 and 65 every day.  Thursday’s outlook?  A high in the low 30’s and RAIN!  Come on!  I want my global warming and I want it NOW!

Well, enough frivolity for one day, let’s just jump right into the laughter, shall we? 

112

A wise man once sat in the audience and cracked a joke.

All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time.

He cracked the same joke again & again, when there was no laughter in the crowd,  he smiled and said, “When you can’t laugh on the same joke again and again, then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?”

1

DragonPapa1 (108)
 

HAZY THINKING: When police in Farmington, Conn., asked a caller if he had
  an emergency, he replied “Well, I have a legal question.” He was
  reminded that he was calling on an emergency line, so he said his
  matter was a “Crime in progress, possibly.” OK, what’s the issue? “I
  was just growing some marijuana and I was just wondering what — how
  much trouble you can get in for one plant?” When told that possession
  of marijuana is a crime, he thanked the dispatcher and hung up. Of
  course, since he was calling on 911, his address showed on the console,
  so a car was dispatched. Officers found drugs, and Robert J. Michelson,
  21, was charged with illegal cultivation, drug possession, and
  possession of drug paraphernalia. At the police station, he raised both
  of his middle fingers to the dispatcher. (RC/WTNH-TV) …To signal his
  I.Q.

If they were the smart ones, they wouldn’t be criminals

NO REALLY — IT WAS AN EMERGENCY! “Arrest Report: Man Called 911
  Requesting a Hooker” — Lexington (N.C.) Dispatch headline

When purchasing a bicycle…..

no matter how cute you are…..

be SURE to consider the color of the seat!
2

Diet Board…it REALLY Works!

1

f312

 

Uh, Hello NY Giants – are you watching? (And the rest of the NFL?)

 

This is pretty remarkable trick quarterback throwing. He’s only the backup QB! I bet if he spent more time on the field he’d be #1 QB!

( It’s a very “HOT” viral video!)

http://wimp.com/johnnymac/

113

As one who flies through the grace of magic, these guys who trust it all to physics and the laws of gravity are CRAZY!  Magic is MUCH safer:
http://www.wimp.com/basejumpers/

1
a28
Now maybe George will remember that cats are evil creatures….not to be trusted.

 

a29

a30

Groaner Zack

Miguel Rodriquez long suffered from insomnia. It was a rare night that he slept more than an hour. He had consulted numerous physicians in Mexico and the United States but none had been able to help him. Even the strongest sedatives could not give him a restful night of sleep.

One day, Miguel met and fell in love with a beautiful senorita named Esta Gonzales. Now when he wants to sleep he just looks at her picture. Miguel has known from his childhood that when you see Esta, you sleep.
Impish

 

Run Zack!  Run!
I’ll try and hold them off!

 

 

 

114

468x60_bcs-oneclick
Take one minute….just one click, every day, helps more than you can imagine!

115

It’s funny but reveals a lot of truth.

The California – Texas Travel Dictionary

Intended for use when listening to main stream media.

A lexicon, with translations for Californians who are visiting Texas , or vice versa.

In California

In Texas

Diverse or Lifestyle Choice

Sinful and Perverted

Arsenal of Weapons

Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands

Swamps

Undocumented Worker

Damned Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials

Synthetic Fiber

Assault and Battery

Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed

Well-protected

Narrow-minded

Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share

Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control

Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosives

Fireworks or Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass

Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity

Socialism

Multicultural Community

High Crime Area

Fairness or Social Progress

Marxism

Upper Class or “The Rich”

Self-Employed

Progressive, Change

Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged

Bums or Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle

Scoped Deer Rifle

Investment For the Future

Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform

Socialized Medicine

Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater

Conservative

Truants

Homeschoolers

Victim or Oppressed

Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing

High Capacity Magazine

Standard Capacity Magazine

Religious Zealot

Church-going, God fearing

Reintroduced Wolves

Sheep and Elk Killers

Fair Trade Coffee

Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or “The Rich”

Employers or Land Owners

The Gun Lobby

NRA Members

Assault Weapon

Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus

New Taxes and Higher Taxes

Same Sex Marriage

Legalized Perversion

Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting

Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

116

Donate2

117

Paul was not the brightest lamp in the chandelier. Every day, when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.

Finally, Paul decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route, but also take some self-defense classes so this wouldn’t happen again.

He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well with it. So one day, on the way home from work, Paul confidently decided to take his old route home and, sure enough, there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued.

The next afternoon, Paul went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor was shocked and asked for an explanation. “Well,” explained Paul, “I took my old way home last night so I could beat up those guys who used to steal my money.”

His instructor said, “What happened?”

Paul replied, “They jumped me before I could get my  shoes and socks off!”

118

Conversation between Lethal and Molly over a chessboard: “This reminds me when we were dating.”

“We never played chess in those days, Molly.”

“No, but even then it took you two hours to make a move.”


119

WATCH FULL SCREEN!
 
An Amazing Video of a 3-D Light Show
in Kharkov, Ukraine.
Apparently, this uncommon projection on the building of the Kharkiv Regional Administration was a public one, celebrating the city and the Independence Day (24′th of August)
 

And then when you are done watching this one, following along some of the other videos that pop up next.  Some of them are really incredible.  I had no idea this sort of thing was even going on.  Way Cool!

time
ATT8

ATT9

ATT10

Boeing unveiled its hydrogen-powered Phantom Eye unmanned airborne system during a ceremony in St. Louis . The demonstrator, which will stay aloft at 65,000 feet for up to four days, is powered by two 2-liter, four-cylinder engines that provide 150 horsepower each. It has a 150-foot wingspan, will cruise at approximately 150 knots and can carry up to a 450-pound payload.

Eventually, they’re going to build one that only has to come down for an engine overhaul. 

   http://www.boeing.com/Features/2010/07/bds_feat_phantom_eye_07_12_10.html

You can imagine what Boeing is doing currently if they are willing to show the World this project !

120

An elephant asked a camel, “Why are your breasts on your back?”

‘Well,’ said the camel,
 ‘I think that’s an entirely inappropriate question from somebody whose dick is on his face.’

1
Motivational Beer Holding

Motivational Cardboard Mod

Motivational Fact

The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson

  • Justin Bieber is Canadian, and so is Celine Dion and William Shatner. It makes me wonder: Are we guarding the wrong border?
  • The whole world has Bieber Fever. It’s what happens whenever a pop frenzy becomes a disease. There was also Beatlemania, the Miley Cyrus Virus, and the Hasselhoff Cough.

121Last Word2

All I can say about this is, “Right ON!” To the judge who put this stupid noodge in jail.  The whole state of entitlement is driving me crazy!  Thanks to Stephanie for sending this one in.

Burqa Bungle

In Australia, a Muslim woman wearing a burqa was pulled over in a routine traffic stop, but when the officer asked her to remove her veil so he could see her face to confirm her identity, she refused and became belligerent and verbally abusive toward him, even threatening to take him to court and get him into “big trouble” for being a “racist” toward her.

Well, the woman took the case to court……. and she made false accusations that would have ruined the officer’s career for the rest of his life…… BUT…… luckily the entire incident had been captured by the video camera in the police car’s dashboard, proving her entire story to be a huge malevolent pack of LIES.

So……. The judge sentenced HER to 6 months in jail for falsely accusing the officer, lying to the court, etc.

 But wait — It gets even better!

Now her lawyer is trying to appeal, saying it wasn’t actually HER underneath that burqa — it must’ve been some other woman posing as her!  And, her lawyer says, since the officer never did see her face, there is no real proof it was actually his client!  ~LOL~

 (It could be argued that lawyer should be sentenced to jail time for alleging such a bold-faced LIE to the court!)

 This story would be hysterically funny….. if only it wasn’t completely true. The attached link will verify

Click here: Burqa bungle  (turn up your volume and watch this real video!)

The moral of this story ???

Burqas should be banned.

They should be made ILLEGAL in any/all countries where wearing a burqa inhibits the ability of law enforcement to do its job properly for the safety of all citizens.  

 At the end of the broadcast, you can hear the news lady say, that the Islam board or somebody said that she COULD remove it at the behest of law enforcement, so she was full of shit all the way around.

1
Names

 

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Dragon Laffs #1180

  1. Jeannie says:

    GREAT send Stephanie (Burqa Bungle) Thanks for posting it Impish. Doesn’t the *world* realize that we are ALL expected to bow to these “customs”?? It’s totally out of control.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s