Leprechaun Laffs # 37


DL - Leprechaun Laffs

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Lord I hope so, it’s blame it on this or the Super Moon & the Spring Equinox and this happens more often than either of those or St. Patrick’s Day!

No coffee no workie

Top o’ the Morn’ Campers! Every one have their coffee, bagel and their seat? Good. A few minor things I want to cover this morning before we start laughing until coffee come out our noses.

First thanks for the coffee and bagels to the Dragon who has agreed to share his with us every morning form now on! What a guy huh? Who knew he could swipe so much coffee and breakfast munchies from the base mess!

I’d like to take this next moment to thank ALL those who send us material for possible inclusion. Some of you do it regularly (a couple multiple times a day even) some of you only occasionally. Some of the material makes it some does not but all of it is appreciated. I know we give credit regularly to a few contributors whose material we use on a regular basis but we appreciate it all.  You may even see your material used sans credit. That isn’t a snub more than likely we’ve gotten it from multiple sources and if we spent the time thanking them all you’d have an issue of nothing but thank yous.

Also if you are sending us stuff and you are not seeing it used please don’t be upset. We regularly receive so much material from you good readers that it’s often a case of so much material so little blog space. Not that we are bound by any particular size limits but in fact more by time limits. The larger the post the longer it takes to assemble and edit, the longer it takes to read and from my experience the less enjoyable it is. We try to keep things to a reasonable length and follow the old show biz axiom ‘Always leave them wanting more’.

While we’re n the subject of submissions I’d like to make a request on behalf of Impish and myself. Well 2 actually. The first is please label you submissions with a subject line we can refer back to later. We get a LOT of submissions with blank subject lines. First of all, a lot of Spam comes appearing like that  and that trips Spam filters into committing thing to Spam and trash folders, occasional errantly and especially if you are not a regular  contributor. It also makes it harder for us to locate material for inclusion at a later time. Even the first line of the joke or title of the video would be a great help. The word submission alone, not so much. Secondly those of you that submit commentaries or articles that could potentially be urban legends can help us out greatly by doing a little fact checking before submitting and citing the link you checked.

Usually this simply requires running a search at http://www.snopes.com or even just Googling a ‘news story’ or editorial and seeing if you can find the newspaper, wire service or original source it came from. I can’t say how much time the Dragon spends but I spend up to 4 hours a week checking the truth of things we receive before considering them for publication. A little help from you submitters with this would help make things easier for us plus cut down (in theory) the amount of unfounded mistruths, propaganda and straight up B.S. running around the internet making it a better place for all of us!

 

!cid_2B0D9E84FA314DC3A82F31D0665B7C83@leah593ae139dd

 

A 13-year-old Ohio student has started a company called Man Cans, which makes candles in manly scents such as pizza, campfire and bacon.
                

The Top 5 Scents of Man Candles

5> Already Mown Grass
4> Vegas Stripjoint
3> Napalm in the Morning
2> Belching Contest
    and The Number 1 Scent of Man Candle…
1> Pizza Meadow
          [ Copyright 2011 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]

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hugh

 

 

hummer

 

Top 10 Rejected Obama Mission Names

Apparently the White House tossed out a number of perfectly good names before arriving at “Operation Odyssey Dawn”:

10.Operation Nine Months In The Senate Didn’t Prepare Me For This
9. Operation Organizing for Libya
8. Operation Double Standard
7. Operation FINE! I’ll Do Something
6. Operation Enduring Narcissism
5. Operation So That’s What the Red Button Does
4. Operation France Backed Me Into A Corner
3. Operation Start Without Me
2. Operation Unlike Bush Wars This One Is Justified Because Hey Look A Squirrel
1. Operation Aimless Fury

imaoun500

 

Ladies E-mail yours to: DragonLaffs-owner@yahoogroups.com!

 

A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph ‘s Hospital. She timidly asked, 
“Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is
doing?”
The operator said, “I’ll be glad to help, dear. What’s the name and room number of the
patient?”
The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,  “Norma Findlay, Room 302.”
The operator replied,  “Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse’s station for that room.” After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,
“I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her lood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow.”
The grandmother said, Thank you. That’s wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good news.”
The operator replied, “You’re more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?”
The grandmother said,”No, I’m Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me
shit.”

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Man upset at burrito inflation starts standoff at motel

Chronicle News Services  March 21, 2011, 9:10AM

SAN ANTONIO — A man who barricaded himself in a South Texas hotel in an apparent drive-thru fast-food dispute is expected to face three counts of attempted capital murder.

San Antonio police say nobody was hurt in the standoff that ended Sunday night.

Police say the customer, who allegedly was unhappy that the price of what he was ordering at Taco Bell had gone up, is accused of shooting an air gun at the restaurant manager, displaying a semiautomatic assault rifle and pistol, then exchanging gunfire with three officers.

The Express-News said the man was ordering seven Beefy Crunch Burritos and was surprised to learn that the price had gone from 99 cents to $1.49.

Sgt. Chris Benavides says tear gas had to be used to get the man out of the room. The weapons were recovered.

The suspect’s name was not immediately released.

DUDE! OK I agree, the price of fast food for what you get is a crying shame and out of control. I mean six or seven bucks for a decent burger sans meat fillers value meal should be a felony crime, but to throw down over of all things Taco Bell? Not even Taco Cabana?

As me good wife Molly ( a born and bred Texas girl who proudly admits to both a Mexican food addiction and being somewhat snobbish about eating non authentic Mexican Food) would be lighting quick to point out, that’s not even real Mexican food!

To top it all off now you’re on the run for the borders for real besides! 

 

  aging 1

 

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Here in Texas we have an Onion called the Texas 1015. Basically its our answer to the Georgia Vidalia onion. They are just starting to hit the stores now and that made me remember this recipe I make every year when I can get either onion.

I make fast work of the dicing issue and well as assure consistent uniformity of dice size by using a Chef’s Mandoline style slicer I have because I usually make a double batch. I like this on grilled brauts too

Apple and sweet onion marmalade

Serve over roasted chicken or pork.

SERVES 8

Ingredients
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon mustard seed
2 large Vidalia onions, diced
1/2 cup apple juice (I use unsweetened apple cider)
1/2 cup chicken stock, vegetable stock or broth
2 Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1/2-inch dice
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground allspice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh flat-leaf (Italian) parsley

Directions
In a sauté pan, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the mustard seed and onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are lightly golden, about 10 minutes.

Add the apple juice and stock and bring to a boil over high heat. Add the apples, salt, pepper and allspice. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, uncovered, until the apples are tender, about 12 minutes.

Remove from the heat and stir in the parsley. Serve warm or at room temperature, or transfer to a container with a tight-fitting lid and refrigerate for up to 1 week. Bring the marmalade to room temperature before serving. Makes about 2 cups.

 

  BC317

Cow, Ant, And Old Fart

A Cow, an Ant and an Old Fart are debating on who is the greatest  of the three of them.
The Cow:  I give
four gallons of milk every day and that’s why I am the greatest!!

  The Ant:  I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 
52 times my own weight and that’s why I am the greatest!!

 

 

 

 


Why are you scrolling down?  It’s your turn to say something…

 

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JANE FONDA MEMORIAL WALL—VERY HEARTWARMING.

After more than 40 years the Viet Nam Veterans of the United States of America raised a phenomenal amount of money to memorialize another one of Hollywood’s loyal American citizens who went out of her way to aid and abet the enemy and congratulate them on their treatment of US POW’s.

This memorial says it all!

Jane Fonda memorial

Can I get an “Oh HELLS yeah!” from my fellow military brethren in the readership? Personally I think they chose too nice a spot for the memorial, I’d have sited it next to or better yet in a sewage treatment plant!

 

 

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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