Hey!  Remember this?

And I said I wondered where our campers fell in this graph and I bet that most of them were in Silent and Baby Boomer and MAYBE a couple in Gen X.  Well, we haven’t had too many respond, certainly not enough to get a real sense of the numbers. But, maybe this will be an incentive for more people to chime in.  But, for the record, right now, 60% of us are Baby Boomers and 40% of us are Silent Generation.  

I didn’t think it would be that drastic of a split, but … okay, truth in advertising … five responses, 3 for boomers, 2 for silent…so, not a huge data base.  So, anyway, send me your responses and I’ll keep track.

And in the meantime, 

Wait!  One more thing!  Since I don’t want to spoil the laughter, let me get this out now before we start laughing, then whoever wants can put this down, like I’m likely to, and come back later, maybe go wash their mouth out with Listerine or something.

Whoopi Goldberg had the absolute gall to say on national TV that the way the women are treated in Iran is the same as the way blacks are treated in the United States.  HOW DARE SHE!  You know, I knew she was a moronic, blind turnip, but I had no idea she was that incredibly uncaring and hateful for EVERYONE who isn’t black.  Let’s take a look.  Just a couple of quick examples.  Women in Iran can be beaten, and even killed for removing their head coverings and letting their hair show or dancing in public.

I can’t think of a single instance, in any state of the United States where it is illegal, much less carries the death penalty, for black men or women, to remove any kind of covering nor for dancing.  You understand what I’m saying.

It is also the death penalty for ANYONE to criticize the government on any social media platform…and what is it that Whoopi does for a living on national TV?

Goldberg, you should be ashamed of yourself!  How dare you denigrate those poor Iranian people like that.  It just shows that the only thing you REALLY care about is stirring up racism in your own country.  YOU are the REAL racist.  

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil,
who put darkness for light and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!

That’s Isaiah 5:20 and you should pay CLOSE attention.  

Okay, I’m done.  Now…

I’d ask how many of you know who these guys are, but we’ve already determined that (so far) 100% of you are as old as I am.

An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal.
 
“Do you think she’d marry me if I tell her I’m 45?”  he asked a friend.
 
“Your chances are better,” said the friend, “if you tell her you’re 90.”

You know, I was thinking, what’s the big deal, they’re probably drop tanks (fuel tanks) or travel pods (storage containers), then I zoomed in on it and looked and I can see the lugs at the bottom where they connected on to the weapons pylons and zooming in on the front looks like where the fuse screw in … so … dang!  I don’t remember what they are called because I never loaded a lot of them, I spent more time with the Mk-82, 500 lb. but those look a lot like the old 250 lb. bombs.  So yeah…dang.

Dear dumb liberal protesters,

If you don’t walk in the middle of the road and block traffic, you’ll never get run over.

There are 900,000 illegals in Los Angeles aloe.  Illegals cost California taxpayers $31 billion every year.  ICE is going to save California.  I voted for it.

No one in Congress should have dual citizenship.  Anyone who does should be removed immediately.

Something from Kairos… 

Who the church?  — WE THE CHURCH!!!

Were?  WERE????

Cop: You’re going to prison for forgery.
Me: [Slides him a 37 dollar bill] How about now?

How come we have anger management classes but not stupidity management classes? You can be stupid, but I can’t be angry? Your stupidity is probably why I’m angry in the first place!

Psalm 122:6-7  ⁶ Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: they shall prosper that love thee. ⁷ Peace be within thy walls, and prosperity within thy palaces.

When Democrats lose, streets burn, police are hit, and businesses get looted.  Every single time.  Don’t ignore the pattern.

Sweet amen!

Excerpts From A Dog’s Daily Diary:
 
8:00 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 
9:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 
9:40 am – OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
 
10:30 am – OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 
11:30 am – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 
12:00 noon – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 
1:00 pm – OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
 
4:00 pm – OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 
5:00 pm – OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 
5:30 pm – OH BOY! MUM! MY FAVORITE!
 
6:00 pm – OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVORITE!
 
6:30 pm – OH BOY! SLEEPING IN MASTER’S BED! MY FAVORITE!

---

Excerpts From A Cat’s Daily Diary:
 
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
 
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
 
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
 
 Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs.
 
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
 
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, this is not working according to plan.
 
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.”  Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
 
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
 
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

33 People Who Went Online And Unintentionally Announced That They Are The Dumbest Person Alive

I’m not even gonna ask.

I get an email and a magazine called The Stand.  It is put out by the American Family Association.  The same people who do American Family Radio.  A FANTASTIC organization.  One of two organizations that I give a monthly donation to.  The other is RIF, Reading is Fundamental.  Anyway, The Stand email had an article that was so really good that I want to share it here with you guys and possibly talk a little bit about it.  It’s very short.  I page, typewritten when I copied it for the guys at the jail for next week.

Paul’s Open Letter to Jesus

 Rebecca Davis                                                                                                                   April 08, 2016

Open letters appear to be a trend these days, especially on social media. A quick scroll through Facebook reveals an open to letter to … “the friend I lost too young,” “anyone looking for love,” “parents who financially support adult children,” “my neighbors who have a grill,” “Millennials writing open letters” – the list goes on and on. 

Google explains that the purpose of an open letter is to address publicly a certain individual or group of people in an often-critical manner. To me, it’s like saying what’s on your heart without saying it directly to a person. If it strikes a chord with the reader, then that’s likely for whom it was intended. 

Perhaps, in a way, open letters are akin to conviction. I’m certainly not downplaying the role of the Holy Spirit or saying that a man-written letter replaces it. But what I am saying is that sometimes these open letters function as tools of conviction, and they hit hard; they pierce the heart, and it hurts – in an infuriatingly good and gracious way. 

Yesterday, I read one like that. Actually, my husband read it to me. It was written by Paul Middleton, a pastor my husband learned and served under for several years. Almost 20 years later, Paul continues to pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Batesville, Mississippi. My husband pastors a church now too. In fact, Paul helped my husband work through and understand God’s calling on his life. Their mentoring relationship continues to remain strong. And because Paul has had such an impact on my husband’s life, he now influences my life. 

So when my husband came home yesterday and said he wanted to read something to me that Paul had written, I listened. And quickly decided I needed to share it. He didn’t title it, so I’ve decided to call it “Paul’s Open Letter to Jesus.” 

Dear Jesus, 

I have been reading a lot lately, and I have realized something. 

I hate to tell You this, but You could use some sensitivity training. Was it really necessary to label an entire group “a brood of vipers?” Let’s watch our words, please. 

Didn’t you know that Your insistence of heaven’s entry plan would obliterate the commonly held belief that there are many ways to eternal bliss? Did you have to polarize people with such a rigid stance? Did You mention a place of eternal torment for those who refused Your forgiveness? Seriously? Were You not privy to a few advisors? I can be fairly certain the cue cards specifically mentioned love and peace. 

And about that lady … You know the one. You told her … gulp … to “go and sin no more.” Jesus, did it ever cross Your mind that she would hear that statement as a personal attack on her way of living? Dare I say, You made a moral judgment that her lifestyle was wrong? Do You know how high and mighty that sounds? Didn’t You know that was degradingly offensive? 

Honestly, I do not know what to say to You. Everywhere I look, I see articles and read statements about how You would act and speak. But, then I read the New Testament. I have to be honest. You do not seem to be the man everyone brings into today’s charged conversations. I must conclude that either the biblical writers manufactured their spiritual teacher or else this culture doesn’t really know You. 

Which one is it?

Gee, which one could it be?  The Jesus that these false teachers, these impastors want us to believe, or the one the Bible teaches us about?  I actually heard a quote the other day from an impastor where they were trying to convince their “congregation” that Jesus rode the young donkey into Jerusalem on that fateful Passover week, in drag…dressed as a woman.  Unbelievable.  We’re told in 2 Peter 2:1 But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. And Matthew 7:15 Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. How in the world can these blind turnips even believe in this complete and utter nonsense?

How?  We are even warned of this!  In 2 Corinthians 4:4 Paul warns us that …the god of this world pause right there!  Who is the god (little “g”) of this world?  That’s right, Satan!  Okay, carry on.  …the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.  So, what does this mean?  It means that Satan has blinded the unbelievers into believing the lies of the false teachers because it matches their own world view.  Which is why in the tribulation times so many will be lost because they will be blinded, even after the Rapture PROVES the truth of the Bible.  It just proves even more how close we are to the end times, my friends.  

I’ve gotten a little far afield in my Last Word for today, but I’m having so much fun talking about this.  I could go on all day.

For questions or comments, please feel free to write to me at impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com and until next time…

I think (therefore I am.  Cogito, ergo sum.)  Hmm, not what I was thinking at all.  Let’s start again, shall we, this time trying to keep the crazy, inner dragon at bay.

I think (I think I am
Therefore I am, I think

Of course you are my bright little star
I’ve miles and miles of files
Pretty files of your forefather’s fruit
And now to suit our great computer
You’re magnetic ink

I’m more than that
I know I am
At least, I think I must be

There you go man
Keep as cool as you can
Face piles of trials with smiles
It riles them to believe
That you perceive the web they weave
And keep on thinking free)

Okay, so now we’re flashing back to a 1969 Moody Blues song called In the Beginning.  Impish’s head is in a weird place this morning…especially if I’m talking about me in the third person.  Probably my favorite band of all time.

Who?

No, not the Who, the Moody Blues.

The Moody Who?

Blues.

Who sings the blues?

Oh, just stop it right now.

I think this episode is supposed to be for Monday, 23 Jun.  Which reminds me.  I was so busy with things last Monday that I forgot it was a time for celebration!!!!  To the best of my knowledge, going backwards in time, it was Dragon Laffs 19th Anniversary!  How about that?  19 years of doing DL in this format.

So, let’s move on to the laughs and maybe I’ll add some other stuff to this as we go on.

Theory of relativity:

The more relatives are visiting you, the slower the time passes.

I laughed so hard at that one.  This guy doesn’t look like he can defeat a Big Mac.

What a GREAT bunch of guys!  This one really touched me.

And this one really cracked me up. But mine’s a double.

This next one touched me quite a bit.  I think I’ve mentioned before how badly dementia has affected my dad.  Thanks to Chris for this next one.

If I get dementia, I’d like my family to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.

1a. Every time you enter the room announce yourself. “Hi Mom- it’s Margaret.”

NEVER ask-  Do you know who I am???  That causes anxiety.

1b. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.

2.  If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.

3.  If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.

4.  If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.

5.  If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.

6.  If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.

7.  If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.

8.  If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.

9.  If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.

10.  If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.

11.  If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.

12.  If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.

13.  If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.

14.  If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.

15.  If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.

16.  If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.

17.  If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.

18.  If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.

19.  If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.

20.  If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.

21.  If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.”

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s and the family members that care for them with such patience and understanding. There’s no greater love or loyalty.

Kind of spoils your rant when you know the truth, doesn’t it.

I really like this guy.

Can you IMAGINE leaving your kid hang outside your car nowadays?!?! I can hear Karen fainting right now!

That is such an AWESOME way of looking at it.

I think we may have done this one in the past, but it is so funny it’s worth a repeat.

Genuine? entries from hospital records:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day, it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69 year-old-male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only 40-lb. weight gain in past 3 days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

27.. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by doctor who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

31. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Etch-A-Sketch Users Manual

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over
the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don’t shake it.

I took this picture yesterday (Thursday) in Wabash after a special class.  I have never seen a double rainbow in real life before and I have never seen such a vibrant rainbow before.  I swear that thing was plugged in somewhere!  You could almost hear it crackle with energy!  It was amazing!

Look at that!  You can make out all seven colors.  Remember the old way of remembering the colors of a rainbow? ROY-G-BIV? Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet.  Pronounced Roy Gee Biv.  And MAN, yellow sure is bright!  God’s promise to us that He will never again destroy the earth by flood.  Next time, it will be by fire.  Says so right there in the Bible.

Too funny.  Gotta love science jokes.

I have words for you, but as a Christian man I can’t use many of them.  But, I can say that, with that look on your face, the price was cheap to get rid of you.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

 

Robert Orben

That’s it until next time.  May God Bless you and keep you until we meet again.

Another issue started after the last one finished.  I’m trying to get ahead for you guys.  Not to mention, that I enjoy it so much.  It’s a Saturday afternoon, while the No Kings idiots are marching throughout the country, my three girls are sound asleep around the house. Pepper on the floor, Willow on the couch, and Izzy upstairs.  I don’t have the news on because it just makes me mad.  I have on Warehouse 13, I’m relaxing and enjoying a wet Saturday.  So, let’s go ahead and get some laughter going, shall we?

Now THAT is a great and timely prayer for our times!

The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

10%. That is how much the average penis size has grown in the U.K. and experts aren’t sure why.

Some think it could be due to Ozempic but that is pure speculation.

Penis sizes are growing around the world actually and doctors say they’re concerned.

I went to the Walmart today and I was there for literally 5 minutes.

When I came out there was a police officer writing a parking ticket for being in a handicap spot.

So I went up to him and said, “Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?”

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked cop.

He glared at me and started writing another ticket for worn tires!

So I then asked him if his psychiatrist makes him lie face down on the couch cause he’s so ugly.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on until he had placed 5 tickets on the windshield… the more I insulted him, the more tickets he wrote.

I didn’t care. My car was parked around the corner.

I started out with nothing…
and I still have most of it.

I told you it was a bunch.

Best Childhood Memory…

Falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…
I miss teleporting.  It never happens to me anymore.

Let’s do a couple more and move on…

My pal tells me he always cries after having sex.  I told him it was his own fault for getting sent to prison in the first place.

How to frighten the new generation:

Put them in a room with a rotary phone, an analog watch, and a TV with no remote.
Then leave them directions on how to use everything in cursive.

And another one in the box.  May God bless you with love and happiness.  Until next time.

I just finished up the last issue and I’m starting this one.  I have a little bit of time before I have to pick Izzy up for her appointment, so I thought I’d spend it with you while watching Warehouse 13 on TV.  Remember that show?  I don’t have regular TV, so I tend to watch … stuff.  I watched Eureka, Grimm, Person of Interest … you know … stuff.  Noise in the background.  I tried turning on some of my podcasts while I worked on this, but I became too interested and stopped working on this.  I tried having nothing on or music on and it put me to sleep.  

So…stuff.

So, let’s get started on the funny stuff since I just finished my rant from the last issue.

I hired a handyman and gave him a list.  When I got home, only #1, 3, and 5 were done.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.

I told myself that I should stop
DRINKING
But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talks to himself.

I just realized I haven’t done the “Hokey Pokey” in over 10 years.  I guess when you get older, you just forget what it’s all about.

You know you’re ugly when you go to a haunted house and come out with an application.

Quote of the Day:

Heat makes things expand.  So, I don’t have a weight problem.  I’m just hot.

That is such a great picture!

If a cookie falls on the floor and you pick it up…
That’s a squat, right?

This is the back 0f Izzy’s car now.  (Yes, I changed the license plate.  No, she doesn’t actually have IZZY 1 as her plate)  She wants to get rid of the Sheriff’s Association stuff that I have put on, as well as the zombie apocalypse response unit decal.  Her reasoning was that, “Dad, I have no idea what to do in case of a real zombie apocalypse and I don’t want someone coming up to me and asking in case it happens.”  I kinda just stood there.  Either she was unusually straight-faced or serious.  I’m hoping for the first, but REALLY afraid it was the latter.  

This amazing fossil looks exactly like a dragon, hard to believe it is real.

But it is.

This is the skull of Dracorex hogwartsia, a dinosaur with an armored skull.

Upper Maastrichtian, Late Cretaceous.

My two girls on heightened alert over the demonstrations due to take place in our area.  That’s Willow in the top left and Pepper in the right.  Aren’t they fearsome looking in their attentiveness?  Their protectiveness? Their … Okay … they’re lazy ladies and they’d probably help the robbers carry the TV out…moving on.

And everyone of us have been called to do something.

But it’s the Israelis who are the bad guys?  It’s amazing to me.  Over the weekend, Israel launched a preemptive strike against Iran.  They targeted military and industrial objectives.  Precession strikes.  Why?  Because Iran was making nuclear weapons with the express purpose of nuking Israel.  The United States was working towards a diplomatic solution.  Iran was lying through their teeth.  Israel waited, and waited, and waited … until they couldn’t wait any longer and then they struck, only against the military and industrial targets to stop the threat of nuclear war.

What did Iran do?  Launched missiles against Israel’s civilians.  Like they always do.  Because they have sworn to completely destroy and kill every Jew in the world.  They teach that to their children in school.  The Jews don’t teach their children to kill all the Palestinians.

But who are the bad guys according to the world?

But I have news for you…and it says so in the Bible…anyone who goes against the Jews, loses.

Okay, let me just push this soapbox back out of the way again.

My wife filed for divorce today, saying I am too un-American for her.

To be honest, I saw that coming from a kilometer away.

Okay, I have to admit, this whole, Generation X, Generation Z, Generation…what-the-heck-ever always kind of confuses me, so I went on line and found this great little chart…

So, 
1883 – 1900 – The Lost Generation – You would be from 142 to 125 years old
1901 – 1927 – The Greatest Generation or G.I. Generation – 124 to 98 years old
1928 – 1945 – The Silent Generation – 97 to 80 years old
1946 – 1964 – The Baby Boomers – 79 to 61 years old
1965 – 1980 – Generation X – 60 to 45 years old
1981 – 1996 – Millennials or Generation Y – 44 to 29 years old
1997 – 2012 – Zoomers or Generation Z – 28 to 13 years old
2013 – mid 2020s – Generation Alpha – 12 years old and younger

So, I wonder how many from each generation we have reading DL?  My bet would be that most of us fall in the Baby Boomers, Generation X, with maybe a few Ys thrown in…maybe.

I can’t believe it’s riot season already.  I still have my Ukraine decorations up.

Boy, ain’t that the truth!  What in the heck do they think they are going to accomplish other than making us angry?

They said ‘CHEER UP! THINGS COULD BE WORSE!!

So I CHEERED UP AND SURE ENOUGH,

THINGS GOT WORSE!!!

I’m sitting here watching some news coverage of the silly-assed No Kings protests.  These turnips have no idea what in the world they are talking about.  I will say one thing, so far, they are all peaceful.  Let’s all hope and pray that they stay that way.  They have the right to say what they want to say.  

I had to turn it off.  “Immigration built this country”?  No…not really.  But, I’m not going to give a history lesson here about the difference between legal immigration and invasion.  

Until next time my friends.  May you be Blessed by God with love and happiness.

I truly LOVE those bookends!!!!!!!  I found them on Amazon.  Very confusing though.  They say they cost $12.99, until you customize them with color and size and what-not.  Then the “small” set that I picked out, just playing around, ended up being about $37.  They weren’t an Amazon product, that’s for sure.  Anyway, still a cool product.

One of the things I meant to do in the last issue that I forgot was …

Here’s some comments from the website…

Good Buddy Sasquatch writes and says: Gee thanks, now I’m going to be singing I’m my own grandpa for days again.  That from yet another story of someone marrying his son’s step-mother’s daughter or some-such.

Sorry buddy.  And now that I’ve reminded you of it, the earwig is probably back again.

jhjoseph left a very nice compliment regarding great funnys in issue #1897…which leads me to believe he’s time traveling again.

And Yukon Cornelius, whilst searching for silver and gold left this very subtle comment: and the teachers are screaming for big raises. See? I didn’t even capitalize the first word of that sentence and I started first grade in 1971. Quite wrapped in the conversation of the youth of today speaking a language of hieroglyphics rather than real words, as Leah D points out, that they could be the new code talks in war.  Yukon, I predate you into first grade by about six years or so, my friend, so I understand completely.

Back to Leah D, who writes:

I will claim it is because I am dealing with pain, but I do not get the Subway prophets thing, please explain.

Our private way of acknowledging D-Day is, we have the flag at half mast until noon. Then as he raises it, I stand with hand on heart, then when raised, he joins me, and we salute all the soldiers. D-Day is very important to remember, but for the past ? months, I can’t verbally go there. I cry, over D-Day, over every picture and or story of a Vet, whether of their great bravery and caring, or their death.

It all seems so disgusting that humans never learn that war is not a great thing, and why should we send our soldiers to suffering and death? I mourn all those I have known and loved who were sent to VN, remembering as I graduated and moved into my new life, they were taken, put through hell.

Leah, I’m going to answer the second part of your comment first.  No, war is not a great thing, but sadly, sometimes it is a necessary thing and the men and women who choose to go and fight (and sometimes go and fight who are chosen) and sometimes give the ultimate sacrifice are to be remembered.  As I have mentioned before, currently, less than 1% of the country chooses to be associated with the military.  Men and women in uniform and civilian service.  Protecting and defending the other 99%.  It certainly isn’t for the money.  I would hope that for most of us it is for a higher purpose, but looking around at the common denominator of the military right now, I would say that would account for maybe half.  The other half … I don’t know.

But, no.  War is not honorable.  But it is necessary.  There will always be evil out there to be protected from.  And there will always be a need for brave men to stand up and face that evil.  As long as they face it the right way.

As to the first part of your comment.  The quote goes like this: “The words of the prophet are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls and whispered in the sound of silence.”  At least I’m pretty sure that’s the way it goes since I did that from memory.  Simon and Garfunkel, the Sound of Silence.  And if you really want to be touched and thought provoked, REALLY listen to the words of THAT song.  What a pair those two were.

Now…

And any bar that’s worth a darn should have them for every drink!  It is worth the safety of your patrons, men and women.

I really don’t get the connection between the ducks and the jeeps.  I just know it’s there.  And every jeep owner I’ve ever meet knows OF the connection, but not the WHY of the connection.  Even google just says … because it’s a thing.  Started with a lady named Parliament and developed into a thing.  Random act of kindness…yeah…I get that…but why ducks?  You mean to tell me that if she had had a plastic dinosaur, they’d all be playing T-Rex-Jeep, instead of Duck, Duck, Jeep?

That is so awesome!!!!!!

True.  I heard this story, with some other details from … um … other sources.  I think that all Chinese students should be expelled from our country.  Every one of them sign an agreement that in exchange for their visa to come over here and study they agree to spy and send back information on certain “targets”.  

Brian Wilson, The Beach Boys Co-Founder and Singer, Dies at 82

The music icon helped define the “California sound” with the American rock ‘n’ roll boy band he formed with his family members and a friend

Rest in Peace, Brian.  You will be missed.  When music was music.

I have done this.

I have shown this picture before, but someone sent it to me again and it is so cute, I had to share it again.

Yeah, like he’s not going to be easily tracked down…if they care to.

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?

K9P.

Well, it’s actually in the 70’s but okay.

Warning!  This next joke is awful!

Elvis vs. Godzilla

Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same? You be the judge.

~ Nickname ~

Godzilla: King of Monsters

Elvis: King of Rock

~ Year Career Started ~

Godzilla: 1954

Elvis: 1954

~ Species ~

Godzilla: Giant lizard

Elvis: Giant lounge lizard

~ Social Order ~

Godzilla: Hangs out with freaks

Elvis: Had Michael Jackson for son-in-law

~ Famous Bug Battles ~

Godzilla: Fought giant caterpillar Mothra

Elvis: Outlasted the Beatles

~ Vocal Quirks ~

Godzilla: Terrible dubbing of his movies

Elvis: Never could lip-synch

~ Eating Habits ~

Godzilla: Would eat anything

Elvis: Would eat anything fried

~ Attire ~

Godzilla: Fat man in rubber suit

Elvis: Fat man in polyester suit

~ Crusades ~

Godzilla: Fought pollution in Godzilla vs. Smog Monster

Elvis: Absorbed all forms of pollution into his own body

~ Farewell ~

Godzilla: Has eaten the building

Elvis: Has eaten everything in the building

Iowa Law

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

A Belgian guy watched a Dutchman in a cafe get the most beautiful girls without any trouble, even though he did not look very nice.
 
Asked how he did this, the Dutchman said, “Well very easy, when I enter, I toss the keys of my Rolls Royce on the bar and they just flock to me. Though I am as poor as you, the keys do it.”
 
So this Belgian guy buys a some nice Rolls keys and tries it also, but to no avail.
 
He asks the Dutchman for advice again, “Yes says the Dutchman, if you don’t take off your bicycle helmet it don’t work.”

Because of an ear infection, my young daughter, Steph, had to go to the pediatrician.
 
I was impressed with the way the doctor directed his comments and questions to my daughter.
 
When he asked Steph, “Is there anything you are allergic to?” Steph nodded and whispered in his ear.
 
Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to me.
 
Without looking at it, I tucked it into my purse.
 
Later, the pharmacist filled the order, remarking on the unusual food-drug interaction my son must have.

When he saw my puzzled expression, he showed me the label on the bottle.
 
As per the doctor’s instructions, it read: “Do not take with broccoli.”

Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the big question, he told the MC that he desired a question on American History.
 
The big night arrived. Bob made his way onstage in front of the studio and TV audience. He had become the talk of the week. 

He was the best guest this show had ever seen. The MC stepped up to the mic.
 
“Bob, you have chosen American History as your final question. You know that if you correctly answer this question, you will walk away $50,000 dollars richer. Are you ready?”
 
Bob nodded with a cocky confidence — the crowd went nuts.

He hadn’t missed a question all week.
 
“Bob, yours is a two-part question. As you know, you may answer either part first. As a rule, the second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like to take a stab at first?”
 
Bob was becoming more noticeably nervous. He couldn’t believe it, but he was drawing a blank. American History was his easiest subject, but he played it safe.
 
“I’ll try the easier part first.”
 
The MC nodded approvingly. “Here we go Bob. I will ask you the second half first, then the first half.”
 
The audience grew silent with gross anticipation…
 
“Bob, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?”

Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Kathy in the kitchen crying out loud.
 
“What’s the matter, darling?” he asked her, trying to console her in between loud sobs.
 
“I just don’t know what to do,” said Kathy.  “Because we were eating in for a change, I cooked us a really special dinner – but the dog has just eaten it.”
 
“Awww…don’t worry,” said Howard….. 
 
“I’ll get us another dog.”

I wish they would say where that was!  I could easily beat that high score!

But will she stop complaining?

Jeremiah 17:9 – The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Be Careful When You Follow The Masses.
Sometimes the “M” is silent.

LIFE HACK # 387

How to make a temporary tattoo:
1. Draw your tattoo with a sharpie.
2. Rub baby powder on it.
3. Cover it in hairspray.
(The tattoo should last for about a month)

I just switched my “20 year Home Mortgage” to a “Student Loan”.
Follow me for more financial advice.

I’m going to rant for a minute.  This whole nonsense with the riots across the country, but especially in LA are beginning to drive me nuts.  First, it’s being driven by people much higher up than something “spontaneous”.  A guy was interviewed on AFR yesterday and he said he was paid $150 a day to “protest”.  He was told where to go, what streets to be on, what to shout and magically, there were piles of stuff to throw, pallets of bricks, stuff like that.  Pretty well organized for “spontaneous riots.”…. I’m sorry.  Demonstrations.

Then you have the “legitimate news organizations” down playing the whole thing and saying stuff like, “people just wanting to relax and enjoy themselves and watch cars burn.”  I kid you not!  That is what one of them said.  Well, I got news for you, pal!  Those are someone else’s cars that they are relaxing and watch burn, you blind turnip!

“Trump and his Gestapo tactics.”  ICE is doing their jobs!!!!  How dare you!  How flippin’ dare you!  You encourage the people to get in the way of them doing their job and then wonder why he calls in the National Guard and then the Marines.

I agree with Todd Herman.  This is all just a pretense.  All these open borders, how many terrorists do you think slipped through during Biden’s four years of open borders?  What are they waiting for?  They are waiting for the borders to be closed.  Now that the borders are closed, here’s what’s going to happen.  We are so used to demonstrations happening in the left-wing, nut-case cities where they block the highways and the people wait like good little sheep in their cars for the police to eventually show up and break it all up.  By then the back up of cars on the highways are miles and miles long, 3 and 4 and 5 cars across, right.

Enter the terrorists from the front of the pack and the back of the pack.  Could be explosives, could be small arms, could be the tunnels and overpasses pre-set with explosives…what a bloodbath that would be.  All those good little sheep just set right up for slaughter.

That’s one scenario.

What about these riots in LA and now picking up in other places.  How hard would it be for them to turn bloody?

And the Moronic Left screaming for more! 

Yes, there are some good, hard working illegals here.  But, the fact is, if they are not here legally, then we are not doing them any favors by protecting them.  We are not doing the legal immigrants any favors by protecting the “good illegals”, if there is such a thing. 

And if you come to OUR country and start waving YOUR flag … all I can say is, what in the world is wrong with you?  If your country is so great, GO BACK!  What are you doing HERE?  Are you an IDIOT?  Mentally challenged?  If it’s not great, then why are you waving their flag?  Blind-friggin’-Turnip!

Okay, I’m done.  I’m not really.  I want to yell and scream and slap someone and all that, but there’s no one to slap.  I can’t believe how dumb some people are.

I have to be more forgiving.  God wants me to be more loving.  Love my neighbor does NOT mean welcoming illegal aliens.  It really doesn’t.  It means loving the idiots who are rioting and forgiving them.  Forgive them Father, they know not what they do.  Some of them know what they are doing.  They are protesting professionally for $150 a day.  That is so wrong.  So sinful.  But, so is me calling them idiots, and I need to ask for forgiveness for that.

It’s infuriating.  Difficult to stay calm.  I’m not there, I’m trying not to watch it on TV or anything else and yet it’s still getting to me just with the news that is being sent to me and what intel I’m getting from work.

Please pray for those involved, my friends.  Help them see the light of what they are doing and what they need to do.  On both sides.

Until next time.  May God Bless you and keep you.