Since it is readily apparent that I’m just not going to find the serious amount of time required to do our usual high level of justice to a Halloween Special Issue I thought I’d toss a few Halloween type Graphics in today to get you folks in the mood. I’ve changed the blog background to a more Halloween appropriate one as well. But before I get started I’d like to take a moment to talk about a serious issue Impish and I have recently suffered with the blog.

Due to a high anxiety level over the blogs performance of  late, you may have noticed that I suffered a brief bout of Performance Anxiety last Monday which when coupled with a severely under caffeinated me resulted in  my experiencing a case of Premature Leprechaunation similar  to, but far more premature, than the one suffered by Impish his previous issue which was only 12 hours too early as opposed to my nearly 72.

I’d like to thank the majority of you for not heightening my levels of embarrassment by commenting or assuring me this happens to you too. As for those of you (and I was shocked at the number) who reached out to support me and admit you too suffer Posting Related Performance Anxiety Issues, my heart felt thanks. Rest assured Impish and I WILL be forming the suggested DL/LL Performance Anxiety Support Group.

K-Squared, Paul and the rest of you- we’ll contact you privately about our 1st meeting shortly.

Impish is SUCH a monster without his first gallon!

At the Doctors

While examining this lady patient, the doctor tells her: “Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine.

Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”

The lady immediately started taking off her clothes…..

The doctor, stopping her said: “No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue.”

Speed Buggy’s long-lost cousin.

Oooo! New Readership!

Elton Brown would approve! He champions kitchen multitasking equipment!

Well this certainly takes recycling to new heights but I guess whoever winds up in there won’t notice the smell anyway.

Talk about a dilemma! Who’s address should I send her? Decisions! Decisions!

Wait! What??! Women aren’t included in the prescription?!

Ah-so! THAT explains how I got an order of fried fingers instead of fried chicken fingers!

Been a while since I ran one of these. Lets see if I still remember how.

I sure hope I look as good as Keith Richards does when I’ve been dead as long as he has.

Hey! Not bad, and its Halloween themed too! Let’s try one more!

I credit my mother for helping me to recognize my personal demons. She sewed my name tag on each one.

Yup still got it!

Commie Zombies! Aaaaa!!!

Adorable Halloween Costume? Check! Hey! You know? That cat just might be on to something Impish! The hell with candy! We should Trick or Treat for Beers & Burgers this year!

Halloween Groaners

What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?
A: The roller-ghoster.

Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?
A: He wants to use them later for cold cuts.

What is a baby ghost’s favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo!

What is the Mummy’s favorite type of music?
A: Wrap.
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

A: Fangsgiving.
What kind of street does a zombie like best?
A: A dead end.

Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween?
A. His ghoul friend.

What type of dog do vampires like the best?
A: A Bloodhound.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
A: They get shudders.

Why couldn’t the skeleton go skydiving?
A. He didn’t have the guts.

How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscopes.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A: A boo boo.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure.

Why do witches use brooms to fly?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer.

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.

Why did the ghoul go to the cafeteria for dinner?
A. He heard children were half price.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.
Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them up all day.

What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

You guys (well at least a couple of you) are forcing me to make this a regular thing! I have to admit having some experience with the Japanese and their mind set as well of their sense of Nationalism, I too almost fell for this one. I was all set to use it as a guest rant for the Parting Shot when Impish whom I sent it to for comment made the observation that he’d have preferred that the sender or the author had cited some sources. That made the old neon question mark light up above your favorite Irish skeptics head ( I AM your FAVORITE….RIGHT?). Didn’t take me long to see this is more just pure steaming hot pasture pie fresh from the bovine- regardless of how much sense it seems to make policy wise.

Our reader comments on the piece:

Very Interesting!!! Did you Know???? I didn’t, but then the Japanese were always kind of racist I guess due to centuries of isolation from other peoples. But I still wonder if this is true, just seems unlikely in today’s global society.

Yup he’s absolutely right too, does seem unlikely- because it isn’t so!

Japan, very interesting!!!

Have you ever read in the newspaper that a political leader or a prime minister from an Islamic nation has visited Japan? Have you ever come across news that the King of Iran or a Saudi Arabia prince has visited Japan? Japan, a Country keeping Islam at bay. Japan has put strict restrictions on Islam and ALL Muslims.

The reasons are:
a) Japan is the only nation that does not give citizenship to Muslims.
b) In Japan permanent residency is not given to Muslims.
c) There is a strong ban on the propagation of Islam in Japan .
d) In the University of Japan, Arabic or any Islamic language is not taught.
e) One cannot import ‘Koran’ published in Arabic language.
f) According to data published by Japanese government, it has given temporary residency to only 2 lakhs Muslims, who need to follow the Japanese Law of the Land. These Muslims should speak Japanese and
carry their religious rituals in their homes.
g) Japan is the only country in the world that has a negligible number of embassies of Islamic countries.
h) Japanese people are not attracted to Islam at all.
i) Muslims residing in Japan are the employees of foreign companies.
j) Even today visas are not granted to Muslim doctors, engineers or managers sent by foreign companies.
k) In the majority of companies, it is stated in their regulations that no Muslims should apply for a job.
l) The Japanese government is of the opinion that Muslims are fundamentalist and even in the era of globalization, they are not willing to change their Muslim laws.
m) Muslims can not even think about getting a rented house in Japan .
n) If anyone comes to know that his neighbor is a Muslim then the whole neighborhood stays alert.
o) No one can start an Islamic cell or Arabic ‘Madrasa’ in Japan
p) There is no personal (Sharia) law in Japan .
q) If a Japanese woman marries a Muslim then she is considered an outcast forever.
r) According to Mr. Komico Yagi (Head of Department, Tokyo University)
“There is a mind frame in Japan that Islam is a very narrow minded religion and one should stay away from it.”

I couldn’t agree more. Freelance journalist Mohammed Juber toured many non Islamic countries
after 9/11 including Japan. He found that the Japanese were confident that extremists could do no harm in Japan. Now you know why.

Now here is how you know this is all post bovine digestive waste:

1.) If it were true there would not have been a Roundtable in Japan in 2008 with published notes by the Asian Policy Organization entitled: Islam in Japan: A Cause For Concern?

http://www.muslimpopulation.com/pdf/Japan_Islam%20in%20Japan_Asia%20Policy.pdf

2.) MuslimMatters.org would have no reason to publish an article decrying:

Muslims in Japan are Another Kind of Rumor Victims

http://muslimmatters.org/2011/06/09/muslims-in-japan-are-another-kind-of-rumor-victims/

They would have published something whining about how it was Islamaphobia & religious hatred keeping them out of Japan and preventing them from attempting to subvert the Japanese government and religions in favor if Islam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Japan

If ‘f’ above were true then I would not be finding this statement:

According to japanfocus.org,^[13] ‘There are currently between 30 and 40 single-story mosques in Japan, plus another 100 or more apartment rooms set aside, in the absence of more suitable facilities, for prayers.

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/text/nn20120922b4.html

Which not only disproves ‘f’, but if there are no resident Muslims, then why do they need so many damned Mosques to a religion they are actively seeking to prevent the presence of in their country in the first place?

Sorry folks as much as some of what was said makes sense if you are trying to control a Muslim infestation/infection of a country not only is it NOT true in Japan, but unworkable here. Most of those points would either violate the founding tenants of the United States, but violate multiple Federal laws regarding discrimination & hate crimes.

Sadly I have to declare that:

Both of Impish’s last 2 issues have included heads up warnings from me about important potential cyber security threats that I became aware of after my issue had already posted. Well it seems to be the season for threats because I received this notice on Saturday courtesy of KimKommando’s newsletter of another new potential threat:

Last week, I warned you about a dangerous scam email with the subject line “CNN Breaking News — Mitt Romney Almost President.”

Well, this week 3 new scam emails have appeared that are just as dangerous. Clicking on the links in these emails can take you to Canadian online pharmacy sites or sites that can take control of your computer.

Scammers love email. It’s easy to pose as a legitimate company and trick you into clicking malicious links or downloading infected attachments.

You always have to be on guard against email scams, and some are more convincing than others.

Here are three subject lines of convincing scam emails that are going around right now. If you see these in your inbox, delete them immediately.

• “YouTube Service has sent you a message: Your video on the TOP of YouTube”
• “Google Support has sent you a message: You are on the Top”
• “You have 4 pending messages on LinkedIn”

If that’s not bad enough, there is also a scam email claiming to be from Amazon that is starting to make the rounds. So watch out for that as well.

If you receive an email from any of these companies, don’t click on any links or open any attachments! Instead, open your browser and visit the company’s site manually.

If you really want to play it safe, call the company’s customer service. Be sure you get the number from the company’s site, not the email! Scammers love putting fake customer service numbers in scam emails and then tricking you when you call.

As a general rules of thumb for safe cyber surfing of the net:

1. If its in your spam box, unless its from someone you KNOW (and even then be very careful lots of people get hacked ort virused which allows access to their e-mail addresses) its probably NOT an accident its there. Best to leave it there and delete it.
2. NEVER give your e-mail address and password to ANY site claiming they will tell your friends about how you signed up for this great site. Unless of course you want to lose them all because of the spam they will continually get courtesy of you.
3. Even if its in your regular Inbox if a company or website has no reason to be contacting you its likely a virus and to be avoided.

Finally save yourself a whole pile of grief on the phone, if the identity of a caller is blocked or if you do not know who is texting you, ignore them. By responding you are going to get your name on lists that are resold which will get you more of the same. Even just saying wrong number or I don’t know you go away validates your number and the fact you’ll respond.

You can heed my advice now, or pay someone like me later to remove the trouble ignoring it has gotten you into!

Trick! Trick! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN! TAKE THE TRICK!

It’s getting to be one of my gastronomic favorite times of the year. I’m not talking Thanksgiving, though admittedly that IS a pretty good time food wise- especially if you love Turkey, Stuffing & Gravy. No, I’m talking PUMPKIN SEASON! Tasty, versatile, good for you and (per pound) relatively cheap. It makes great soups and savory dishes was well as deserts plus you can roast and eat the seeds for a snack besides!

Here’s a couple recipes that don’t even require the preparation of a fresh pumpkin, just a can of good quality pumpkin.

Frozen Pumpkin Mousse Pie

Prep Time: 30 min

Inactive Prep Time: 4 hr 0 min

Cook Time: 15 min

Level: Intermediate

Serves: 12 servings

Ingredients

• 8 ounces gingersnap cookies, broken (about 2 1/2 cups)
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons light-brown sugar
• 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 3/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 quart low-fat vanilla yogurt softened
• Maple Whipped Cream, recipe follows, optional

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

1. Combine the gingersnaps, oil, and 2 tablespoons brown sugar in the bowl of a food processor; pulse to form fine crumbs. Press the crumbs into the bottom and up the sides of a 9-inch pie plate. Bake until the crust is set and golden brown, 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack.

2. In a large bowl, stir together the pumpkin puree, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice and remaining 1/3 cup brown sugar until blended; stir in the frozen yogurt. Spread into the cooled pie crust and freeze until firm, about 3 hours. Wrap tightly in plastic to freeze up to 1 week.

3. When ready to serve, transfer the pie to the refrigerator to soften slightly, about 30 minutes. Top with Maple Whipped Cream, if desired.

Nutritional analysis per serving

Calories 279; Total Fat 8.5 g (Sat Fat 2.7g, Mono Fat 1.7g, Poly Fat 1.7g) ; Protein 7g; Carb 44g; Fiber 1g; Cholesterol 43mg; Sodium 158mg

Maple Whipped Cream:

• 1 3/4 teaspoons unflavored powdered gelatin
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1 cup 2 percent reduced-fat milk
• 1/4 cup maple syrup
• 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Sprinkle the gelatin over the water in a medium bowl; let stand until absorbed, about 5 minutes. In a small saucepan, heat the milk until steaming. Whisk the hot milk into the gelatin to dissolve. Stir in the maple syrup and vanilla.

2. Place the bowl in a bowl of ice water and stir occasionally until just beginning to set around the edges, about 15 minutes. Using a hand-held mixer, beat the cold milk mixture on high until thick and fluffy, about 8 minutes. Spread on top of the frozen mousse pie; swirl like a meringue topping. Serve.

Yield: 12 servings

Nutritional analysis per serving of Maple Whipped Cream

Calories 29; Total Fat 0.4 g (Sat Fat 0.3g, Mono Fat 0.1g, Poly Fat 0g) ; Protein 1g; Carb 5.5g; Fiber 0g; Cholesterol 2mg; Sodium 10mg

Pumpkin Rice Pudding

Prep Time: 25 min

Inactive Prep Time: 8 hr 0 min

Cook Time: 1 hr 10 min

Level: Easy

Serves: 8 servings

Ingredients

• 2 cups water
• 1 cup Arborio rice
• 3 cups reduced-fat (2%) milk
• 1 cup solid-pack pure pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
• 3/4 cup honey
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, plus more for garnish
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream, whipped

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375F.

Bring the water to a boil in an ovenproof 4-quart saucepan. Stir in the rice and cover. Reduce the heat to low and simmer until the rice is nearly cooked, about 20 minutes.

In a large bowl, whisk together the milk, pumpkin, honey, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and salt.

While the rice is still hot, add the pumpkin mixture to the saucepan and stir well to combine. Cover and transfer to the oven. Bake until the liquid has reduced by about a third and the mixture is foamy and bubbling, 45 to 50 minutes. Remove from the oven and stir well to combine all the ingredients. Transfer to a large bowl, then cover and chill in the refrigerator for at least 8 hours or overnight. The pudding will keep for up to 4 days in an airtight container in the refrigerator. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream and a sprinkling of cinnamon.

Serving size: 1/2 cup rice pudding and 1 1/2 tablespoons whipped cream

Per Serving:

Calories 240; Total Fat 6 g (Sat Fat 3.5 g, Mono Fat 1.5 g, Poly Fat 0 g); Protein 4 g; Carb 42 g; Fiber 1 g; Cholesterol 20 mg; Sodium 120 mg

• Excellent source of: Vitamin A
• Good source of: Calcium, Iodine, Phosphorus, Riboflavin, Vitamin D

Famous Video Game Characters Re-Imagined As Zombies

You say what so you want to be for Halloween to a kid now a days and 8 out of 10 will probably say ‘A ZOMBIE!’ Here a look at a few select cartoon/video game characters (selected so we old farts know who they are) done up as Zombies.

Mario

Link (Legend of Zelda)

Pikachu (from Pokemon)

Harry Potter

Batman

Master Chief (from HALO)

Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)

Chuck Norris [Damn! I would have thought he was so tough he’d defeat Zombifacation!]

Mega-Man

Just remember Boys & Girls that just like Halloween…

Here’s a Trick, or a Treat I guess, depending on your point of view- There is no Parting Shot from me this week.

From

Good Afternoon Campers!  I would like to take the opportunity to share a letter to the editors that we received in this mornings comments.  By answering it here, it is an easy way to give out the answer to the question the letter asks and it begs the teacher in me to take advantage of an instructional opportunity.  I know that most of you are only thinking two things right now…. football and beer…with maybe a pizza thrown in.  But, if you guys could take, just a minute to go over this with me, I’d appreciate it.   
Okay, let’s go over to the board on the left side of the yard and read this letter.

Lethal and Impish, For some reason I do not receive Dragon Laffs any more. I have

to have a friend ‘o mine forward it to me every Sat. & Wed. I have tried to re-

subscribe 2 or 3 times, to no avail. Please, Please, Please, put me back on the list of

subscribers. My e-mail address

is:maximena@sbcglobal.net

Thank you ever so much,

Wizard1952

Hi Wizard 1952, may I call you Wizard or would you prefer Mr. 1952?  Well, there are actually several points to address in your letter, so let me take them one at a time.  It’s been about 2 years since we have emailed out the e-zine.  That is since we’ve gone to the blog format that we have now. 
Now, the blog itself, WordPress, does allow you to “follow” the blog, although sometimes you have to create an account of your own and sometimes you don’t.  I’m not really sure since I already have an account.  In order to do that you must go to the blog, the same place you went to, to leave a comment this morning, and click on the Email Subscription as shown below:

We do not recommend this practice for a couple of reasons.  First of all, we recommend viewing the blog on the website (www.dragonlaffs.com) because that is where you’re going to get the best show, since it is designed to be viewed from the blog.
Secondly, the videos….like this one here:

won’t be viewable in the email.  You must go to the blog in order to view it…and trust me when I tell you, the videos that we choose to put in the blog are well worth going to the blog to view.
And finally, Mr. 1952 (he didn’t want me to call him Mr. Wizard) if you have someone email you the emailed copies, why not just go to the blog to view them?  We get credit for the hits of people who go to the blog to view the e-zine. Always a worthwhile proposition.  
Oh, one more thing just occurred to me… if you have gone to the blog and subscribed and still aren’t getting emails, then it’s either some problem with wordpress or the email is being sent to your spam folder.
Anyway, thanks for allowing me to interrupt your Sunday afternoon.  Hope your day is filled with fun and laughter.

Cheers!
Impish

Good Morning Campers!  Another great episode of your favorite e-zine is on the way!!!!  It’s still October and still breast cancer awareness month, what have you done lately to support this cause?  Throughout today’s issue I have placed 13 of 25 debunked myths about breast cancer… The remainder will be in next week’s issue….It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and across the U.S., men and women are wearing pink and participating in campaigns to raise awareness for the disease that strikes 227,000 women each year.
About 1 in 8 American women will develop breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. It’s the most common cancer in women worldwide, second only to skin cancer in the United States. Despite its prevalence, much confusion and misinformation exists about how the condition is caused and treated.
Can an underwire bra or antiperspirant deodorant cause breast cancer? Can women inherit the disease from dear old Dad?

I hope you not only enjoy the issue, but perhaps you even learn something….Let’s get started with #1/25

1/25 Myth: Only women with a family history of breast cancer are at risk Reality: Roughly 70 percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have no identifiable risk factors for the disease. But the family-history risks are these: If a first-degree relative (a parent, sibling, or child) has had or has breast cancer, your risk of developing the disease approximately doubles. Having two first-degree relatives with the disease increases your risk even more.

Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

I’ve still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I’m getting into swing dancing.. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are
just prone to swinging.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

2/25 Myth: Wearing an underwire bra increases your risk of getting breast cancer Reality: Claims that underwire bras compress the lymphatic system of the breast, causing toxins to accumulate and cause breast cancer, have been widely debunked as unscientific. The consensus is that neither the type of bra you wear nor the tightness of your underwear or other clothing has any connection to breast cancer risk.

This was sent to me by my Dad.  Very much worth watching.  I would’ve loved for this to have gotten more attention (in the media and elsewhere)much sooner than this.  And I’m very much afraid that the opinion of these young people is the exception, rather than the rule.  I think most of that generation are caught up in the “gimme” “what’s in it for me” entitlement attitude rather than the longer view shown by this group.
With about 18 days left until the election I don’t believe there is much time left to try and change somebody’s mind, the biggest point to push, as I said earlier, is to get people to

3/25 Myth: Most breast lumps are cancerous Reality: Roughly 80 percent of lumps in women’s breasts are caused by benign (noncancerous) changes, cysts, or other conditions. Doctors encourage women to report any changes at all, however, because catching breast cancer early is so beneficial. Your doctor may recommend a mammogram, ultrasound, or biopsy to determine whether a lump is cancerous.

4/25 Myth: Exposing a tumor to air during surgery causes cancer to spread Reality: Surgery doesn’t cause breast cancer and it doesn’t cause breast cancer to spread, as far as scientists can tell from the research so far.

Your doctor may find out during surgery that your cancer is more widespread than previously thought, however. And some animal studies have shown that removing the primary tumor sometimes enables metastatic cancers to grow, but only temporarily; this has not been demonstrated in humans.

What it seems like to most of us with the nonsense between PC and Mac…

Help!  I’m being kidnapped!!

5/25 Myth: Breast implants can raise your cancer risk Reality: Women with breast implants are at no greater risk of getting breast cancer, according to research. Standard mammograms don’t always work as well on these women, however, so additional X-rays are sometimes needed to more fully examine breast tissue.

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 9%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL unemployed!

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking. If you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Of course!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 9%. If you counted them ALL it would be 16%. He doesn’t want anybody reading about 16% unemployment.

COSTELLO: Would that would be tough on his reelection?

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait a minute. Does that mean there are two ways to bring down the unemployment rate?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have Obama’s supporters stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like the Obama Economy Czar.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Obama!

6/25 Myth: Breast implants can raise your cancer risk  Reality: Women with breast implants are at no greater risk of getting breast cancer, according to research. Standard mammograms don’t always work as well on these women, however, so additional X-rays are sometimes needed to more fully examine breast tissue.

A QVC Shopping Channel host fainted on the air and passed out Monday. Her co-host standing next to her went right on talking as if nothing had happened. Mitt Romney showed the same cool when the exact same thinghappened during the presidential debate.

Penn State’s former coach Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to thirty years in prison on Tuesday for sexually abusing ten boys during the last decade. An hour after hearing his sentence, Jerry Sandusky had to take off his Penn State jersey. His new one reads State Pen.

7/25 Myth: Wearing antiperspirant increases your risk of getting breast cancer Reality: The American Cancer Society pooh-poohs this rumor, but admits that more research is needed. One small study did stumble on traces of parabens in a tiny sample of breast cancer tumors.

Parabens, used as preservatives in some antiperspirants, have weak estrogen-like properties, but the study in question made no cause-and-effect connection between parabens and breast cancer, nor did it conclusively identify the source of the parabens found in tumors.

8/25 Myth: Small-breasted women have less chance of getting breast cancer Reality: There’s no connection between the size of your breasts and your risk of getting breast cancer. Very large breasts may be harder to examine than small breasts, with clinical breast exams – and even mammograms and MRIs – more difficult to conduct. But all women, regardless of breast size, should commit to routine screenings and checkups.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist: “Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex.” The confused artist said: “But you’re not wearing any of those things.” “I know,” she said. “But if I die before my husband,I’m sure my husband will remarry. And I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

Another warning from our master of disaster (avoidance) and seer of portentous perils, our own Lethal Leprechaun <cue applause track>

A scam, that has been around before, is coming round again.  A phone call from a blocked number who say they are from Microsoft and they can tell from your computer that you have been a naughty boy (or girl) but they can help you get rid of the evidence.  I’m sure you can take it from there yourself.  Let’s examine a couple of things….first of all, no legitimate business, least of all Microsoft, will block their number when they call.  Most of them WANT you to have their number in the hopes you will call them back.  Secondly, Microsoft doesn’t call you, you call Microsoft and finally, Microsoft cannot monitor what you are doing on your computer. So, long story short, if you get those phone calls,  hang up and save yourself some grief!

9/25 Myth: Breast cancer always comes in the form of a lump Reality: A lump may indicate breast cancer (or one of many benign breast conditions), but women should also be on the alert for other kinds of changes that may be signs of cancer. These include swelling; skin irritation or dimpling; breast or nipple pain; nipple retraction (turning inward); redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin; or a discharge other than breast milk.

Breast cancer can also spread to underarm lymph nodes and cause swelling there before a tumor in the breast is large enough to be felt. On the other hand, a mammogram may pick up breast cancer that has no outward symptoms at all.

If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker.
If he is bald at the back, he is sexy.
If he is bald from front to back – he thinks he is sexy.

10/25 Myth: You can’t get breast cancer after a mastectomy Reality: Some women do get breast cancer after a mastectomy, sometimes at the site of the scar. Or the original cancer may have spread. For women at high risk of breast cancer who have their breasts removed as a prophylactic or preventive measure, there’s still a chance, though a small one, that they can get breast cancer. After prophylactic mastectomy a woman’s risk for developing breast cancer is reduced by an average of 90 percent.

First thing – every single morning – one of the secretaries in our office opened the newspaper and read everyone’s horo- scope aloud. “Gwen,” said our boss finally, “you seem to be a normal, levelheaded person. Do you really believe in astrology?” “Of course not,” Gwen answered. “You know how skeptical we Capricorns are.”

Skipping down the hall with her parents, at the hospital where I
work, was the cutest little blond girl wearing hot-pink Crocs.

One of the
nurses walking down the same hall was wearing those colourful
printed scrubs that hospital staff often sport, and when she
passed the family, she said to the little girl, “Wow! I sure like
your shoes.”

“Thank you!” the girl replied. As she continued down the hall way,
she added, “And I sure like your jammies!”

11/25 Myth: Your father’s family history of breast cancer doesn’t affect your risk as much as your mother’s Reality: Your father’s family history of breast cancer is just as important as your mother’s in understanding your risk. But to find out about the risk stemming from your father’s side of the family, you need to look primarily at the women; while men do get breast cancer, women are more vulnerable to it. Associated cancers in men (such as early-onset prostate or colon cancer) on either side are also important to factor in when doing a full family-tree risk assessment.

Today’s cool website comes with a great story.  Mrs. Dragon and I visited a little Pie Shop that we’ve been driving by for many years.  We’ve meant to stop, but just never seemed to be the right time.  The pie shop is about an hour south of us, so we pass it when we go to visit Mrs. Dragons family.  Anyway, we stopped and I got to tell you this…. we will definitely be making this a regular stop from now on!  Lisa’s Pie Shop is located several miles south of Kokomo, Indiana on US 31.
While we were there, we discovered that Lisa has been recognized with Awards all across the country, she’s been recognized by many as being the eminent baker of pies and desserts in America.
Here’s a look at the Dutch Apple Pie that we brought home:
And I’ve got to tell you, as good as it looks, it tasted even better!
Their website is www.lisaspieshop.com
They have this thing called a pie in a jar.  You can check it out on their website.  Way cool.  and a really easy way to send someone a pie in the mail.  They will even send it for you!  While we were there we sampled a pie in a jar that was strawberry and rhubarb.  It was unbelievably delicious.
Well, all of this has led around to a special deal they are trying to work for our troops overseas.  I have a copy of the little advertising that they have done up for this. 

Of course, we had to donate $12.50 for a pie in the name of Dragon Laffs!  Definitely a worthy cause.

What is the similarity between a rattlesnake and a limp penis? You don’t screw with either one.

The teacher asked Johnny to make a sentence using the math terms add, subtract, divide, and multiply. He said, “To have sex, you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.

If a tennis player gets tennis elbow, what does a gynecologist get? Tunnel vision.

A papoose is the consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

Virginity: A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it’s gone forever.

What do you call a guy who is sexually attracted to tramps? A hobosexual

“I hear you went fishing with your girl last week.” “Yes, that’s right.” “Catch anything?” “Don’t know yet.”

When you take Viagra and Prozac at the same time, you get a guy who is ready to go, but doesn’t really care where.

One Greek says to another, “Do you think you’ll ever go back to Greece?” “No,” he answered, “I’ll stick with K-Y Jelly!

Okay, I admit I’m not very good at oral sex. But my wife doesn’t have to keep rubbing my nose in it.

This is a fairy tale: Once upon a time there was a rich and handsome king. He sent fliers throughout his kingdom promising that whoever brought him the head of the fearsome dragon that was terrorizing the countryside could have all of his wealth or the hand of his lovely daughter in marriage. Of course, all the able-bodied men in the kingdom went off in pursuit. Three days later a fellow arrived at the palace door bearing the bloody head of the dragon. “Well done,” exclaimed the king. “You may have my beautiful daughter’s hand.” “Thanks, but I don’t want your daughter,” said the man. “I see. Come with me to empty out the treasury,” offered the king. “Thanks, but I don’t want your money either. I want YOU, sweetie!” So they lived happily ever after. See, I told you it was a fairy tale.

12/25 Myth: Caffeine causes breast cancer Reality: No causal connection has been found between drinking caffeine and getting breast cancer; in fact, some research suggests that caffeine may actually lower your risk. So far it’s inconclusive whether breast soreness may be linked to caffeine.

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I’ll be home later.

Love you..

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don’t often get an

I love you too!

13/25 Myth: If you’re at risk for breast cancer, there’s little you can do but watch for the signs  Reality: There’s a lot that women can do to lower their risk, including losing weight if they’re obese, getting regular exercise, lowering or eliminating alcohol consumption, being rigorous about examining their own breasts, and having regular clinical exams and mammograms. Quitting smoking wouldn’t hurt either.

Some high-risk women also choose to have a prophylactic mastectomy to decrease their risk by roughly 90 percent. They can take other proactive steps such as having regular MRIs, exploring chemoprevention with treatments such as tamoxifen, and participating in clinical trials.

This is probably the best examination of the Obamas that I have ever read.  Written by Mychal Massie more than six months ago, it is more telling and exacting now then it was then:

Mychal Massie is a respected writer and talk show host in Los Angeles.

The other evening on my twitter, a person asked me why I didn’t like the Obama’s? Specifically I was asked: “I have to ask, why do you hate the Obama’s? It seems personal, not policy related. You even dissed (disrespect) their Christmas family picture.”

The truth is I do not like the Obamas, what they represent, their ideology, and I certainly do not like his policies and legislation. I’ve made no secret of my contempt for the Obamas. As I responded to the person who asked me the aforementioned question, I don’t like them because they are committed to the fundamental change of my/our country into what can only be regarded as a Communist state.

I don’t hate them per definition, but I condemn them because they are the worst kind of racialists, they are elitist Leninists with contempt for traditional America . They display disrespect for the sanctity of the office he holds, and for those who are willing to admit same, Michelle Obama’s raw contempt for white America is transpicuous.

I don’t like them because they comport themselves as emperor and empress. I expect, no I demand respect, for the Office of President and a love of our country and her citizenry from the leader entrusted with the governance of same. President and Mrs. Reagan displayed an unparalleled love for the country and her people. The Reagan’s made Americans feel good about themselves and about what we could accomplish. His arrogance by appointing 32 leftist czars and constantly bypassing congress is impeachable. Eric Holder is probably the MOST incompetent and arrogant DOJ head to ever hold the job. Could you envision President Reagan instructing his Justice Department to act like jack-booted thugs?

Presidents are politicians and all politicians are known and pretty much expected to manipulate the truth, if not outright lie, but even using that low standard, the Obama’s have taken lies, dishonesty, deceit, mendacity, subterfuge and obfuscation to new depths. They are verbally abusive to the citizenry, and they display an animus for civility.

I do not like them, because they both display bigotry overtly, as in the case of Harvard Professor Louis Gates, when he accused the Cambridge Police of acting stupidly, and her code speak pursuant to now being able to be proud of America . I view that statement and that mindset as an insult to those who died to provide a country where a Kenyan, his illegal alien relatives, and his alleged progeny, could come and not only live freely, but rise to the highest, most powerful, position in the world. Michelle Obama is free to hate and disparage whites because Americans of every description paid with their blood to ensure her right to do same.

I have a saying, that “the only reason a person hides things, is because they have something to hide.” No president in history has spent over a million dollars to keep his records and his past sealed.

And what the two of them have shared has been proved to be lies. He lied about when and how they met, he lied about his mother’s death and problems with insurance, Michelle lied to a crowd pursuant to nearly $500,000 bank stocks they inherited from his family. He has lied about his father’s military service, about the civil rights movement, ad nausea. He lied to the world about the Supreme Court in a State of the Union address. He berated and publicly insulted a sitting Congressman. He has surrounded himself with the most rabidly, radical, socialist academicians today. He opposed rulings that protected women and children that even Planned Parenthood did not seek to support. He is openly hostile to business and aggressively hostile to Israel . His wife treats being the First Lady as her personal American Express Black Card (arguably the most prestigious credit card in the world). I condemn them because, as people are suffering, losing their homes, their jobs, their retirements, he and his family are arrogantly showing off their life of entitlement – as he goes about creating and fomenting class warfare.

I don’t like them, and I neither apologize nor retreat from my public condemnation of them and of his policies. We should condemn them for the disrespect they show our people, for his willful and unconstitutional actions pursuant to obeying the Constitutional parameters he is bound by, and his willful disregard for Congressional authority.

Dislike for them has nothing to do with the color of their skin; it has everything to do with their behavior, attitudes, and policies. And I have open scorn for their constantly playing the race card.

It is my intention to do all within my ability to ensure their reign is one term. I could go on, but let me conclude with this. I condemn in the strongest possible terms the media for refusing to investigate them, as they did President Bush and President Clinton, and for refusing to label them for what they truly are. There is no scenario known to man, whereby a white president and his wife could ignore laws, flaunt their position, and lord over the people, as these two are permitted out of fear for their color.

As I wrote in a syndicated column titled, “Nero In The White House” – “Never in my life, inside or outside of politics, have I witnessed such dishonesty in a political leader. He is the most mendacious political figure I have ever witnessed. Even by the low standards of his presidential predecessors, his narcissistic, contumacious arrogance is unequalled. Using Obama as the bar, Nero would have to be elevated to sainthood… Many in America wanted to be proud when the first person of color was elected president, but instead, they have been witness to a congenital liar, a woman who has been ashamed of America her entire life, failed policies, intimidation, and a commonality hitherto not witnessed in political leaders. He and his wife view their life at our expense as an entitlement – while America ‘s people go homeless, hungry and unemployed.”

And of course, the chosen picture to go with the article is PERFECT!!!

 The old Snuff Box gag… hehehe gets them mortals every time! You got to love the classics!

Well we had a wee bit of a cold front (more like a ‘less warm front’) make its way through Southeast Texas Sunday morning. We got about an inch of always handy to have here rain and a short bit or relief from the high 80s – mid 60s temps. The weather guessers say things will warm up until sometime Thursday when the situation will repeat itself. In short- still no true fall weather for us here in Houston.

A guy asked a girl in a library, “Do you mind if I sit beside you?”
The girl answered with a loud voice, “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!”
All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was
embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table
and she told him, “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed right?”
The guy responded with a loud voice, “$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!”
And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ear, “I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty.”

Craziest excuses for calling in sick

Survey finds 30% called in sick over past year when not actually ill

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) –

One employee said she couldn’t come to work because her dog was having a nervous breakdown. Another said he forgotten he’d been hired. A third was upset after watching “The Hunger Games.”

These are just a few of the colorful excuses employers reported hearing to explain absences from work, according to a new survey commissioned by human resources firm CareerBuilder. Others included someone who said they got their toe stuck in a faucet, a person who was having their dead grandmother exhumed as part of a police investigation, and another who fell ill from “reading too much.”

While most excuses may not be so inventive, playing hooky remains a routine occurrence, the survey said. Some 30 percent of workers reported calling in sick over the past year when not actually ill, CareerBuilder said, a figure in line with previous years.

Roughly 22 percent of “healthy” sick days were used for doctors’ appointments. Sixteen percent were taken to catch up on sleep, while 34 percent were used by those who simply didn’t feel like going to work.

So while blowing off work doesn’t make you unique, you still need to be careful — some 29 percent of employers surveyed said they’d checked up on employees out sick, calling them later in the day or requiring doctors’ notes. Seventeen percent said they had fired people for giving fake excuses.

Of course, if your dog really is having a nervous breakdown, you may be happy to have that extra time to help him convalesce.

5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

with your Instructor K-Squared

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.”
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies.
“Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?” The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, opportunities for advancement will pass right by you.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Puff! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Puff! He’s gone.
“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing?”
The eagle answered: “Sure , why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”
“Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.”
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and shit on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

THIS CONCLUDES THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Well I’m guessing you guys like this feature because the material for it keeps pouring into my Inbox regularly. I got this weeks from 4 different people. 2 just forwarded it on, one specifically asked that I not attach his name to the article as he called sending these things on a ‘guilty pleasure’ [yeah you’re guilty alright- guilty of spamming for sure, we’ll see if I can add ‘of lies’ to the end of that in a second] the last one while also not wanting to see his name here asked me to check and see if this was true.

Here is the current USO (Unidentified Steaming Object) in question:

From James Carville’s Lips

Not only is James Carville a scary looking, Skeletor type fella with a voice that is like fingernails on a chalkboard, but he’s also either very honest, very arrogant or very stupid. Either way, read the words of Mr. Carville and tell me whatcha think. Here is the direct quote as lifted from Thinkexist.com:

“Ideologies aren’t all that important. What’s important is psychology.

The Democratic constituency is just like a herd of cows. All you have to do is lay out enough silage and they come running. That’s why I became an operative working with Democrats. With Democrats all you have to do is make a lot of noise, lay out the hay, and be ready to use the ole cattle prod in case a few want to bolt the herd.

Eighty percent of the people who call themselves Democrats don’t have a clue as to political reality.

What amazes me is that you could take a group of people who are hard workers and convince them that they should support social programs that were the exact opposite of their own personal convictions. Put a little fear here and there and you can get people to vote any way you want.

The voter is basically dumb and lazy. The reason I became a Democratic operative instead of a Republican was because there were more Democrats that didn’t have a clue than there were Republicans.

Truth is relative. Truth is what you can make the voter believe is the truth. If you’re smart enough, truth is what you make the voter think it is. That’s why I’m a Democrat. I can make the Democratic voters think whatever I want them to.”

END QUOTE

I thought I was getting an underhand slow pitch here when I first saw this and read it. I figured nobody in their right mind would ever say something so blunt and potentially damaging- at least not in a public forum where it could be found and passed about. I mean seriously! Talk about your career ending political power destroying all time suicidal drink the Kool-Aid and bite the capsule  death wish blunders!

So you can imaging my shock and surprise when when I fed this into my USO analyzer and it came back:

That’s right folks this think that actually appears a steam pasture pie is in fact all rose petals! Can you believe it? He actually DID say it! OR DID HE?

After reviewing the output from the USO Analyzer very carefully I noticed something disturbing, all the citations for this followed a circular pattern. NONE of those sources actually cite Carvell in an interview or any [ I hate to use the term] accredited media.Sure you can find reference to it on several newspaper editorial pages, made by the readership. That doesn’t make it fact and if you follow the few citations that do not directly reference the origin source they eventually come around to it Nothing on any of the odd half dozen Urban Myth sites I maintain links to, no YouTube of him saying anything even remotely like this.

I spent considerable time tracing it back to what appears to be its source or origin which appears to be http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/James_Carville and a single posted known as ‘thisoneworks’. If you follow the link and pay attention to the tabs above the post you’ll see this is entered under ‘my quotes’ and that ‘thisoneworks’ cites no source material.

Hey I’ve got a text quote of Ronald Regan saying that Ollie North and I are in the Top Ten Marines of all time, right up there with Chesty Puller & Carlos Hatcheck because I post it someplace and attribute it to him doesn’t make it true! SO after careful re-examination of this quote I’m ready to render a final verdict. It is officially:

Guess I should have gone with my original instinct when I first saw this one. I’m reminded of the old Cheech & Chong joke punch line here:

‘Looks like dog shit, smells like dog shit, feels like dog shit, tastes like dog shit. Must be dog shit. Good thing we didn’t step in it!

Play arcade classics online

It sounds crazy to say it, but Atari is over 40 years old. The pioneering video game company has mostly been in hibernation for the last two decades, but its vintage video games are still some of the best and most enduring titles ever.

If you’re nostalgic for the countless hours and quarters spent blasting asteroids, missiles and centipedes, you’ll go wild over this site. Atari Arcade brings back the best of the ’70s and ’80s online at this official site.

You can play Pong, Breakout, Missile Command, Asteroids, Lunar Lander and more. Each one has the same simple, excellent gameplay, but the graphics have been updated.

These arcade classics are just as fun as ever. Now you can relive them on the Web and pass on the tradition to your kids.

Note: This website was designed to showcase the new Internet Explorer 10, but IE9, Firefox and Chrome work as well. Internet Explorer 8 will not work reliably.

www.atari.com/arcade

Shopping For Jewelry

Mel and his wife are walking down Main Street one evening. They stop at a jewelry store window.
She says, “Mel, I’d love those diamond earrings.”
He says, “No problem,” and takes a brick out of his pocket, smashes the window, and gets the earrings for her. They walk away hastily and soon come upon another jewelry store.
In the window, there is this gorgeous diamond ring, and the wife says, “Mel, oh please, please, please, get me that ring.”
He looks around, sees there’s nobody around, takes a brick out of his pocket and hurls it at the window.
Now she’s got the earrings and this great ring, and they walk away… until they come to yet another jewelry store.
There’s this fantastic diamond necklace in the window. She starts begging, “Mel, Mel, just look at it. I need it!”
He looks at her and says “Whaddaya think, I’m made out of bricks?”

A diamond bigger than Earth?

Reuters/Reuters – An illustration of the interior of 55 Cancri e — an extremely hot planet with a surface of mostly graphite surrounding a thick layer of diamond, below which is a layer of silicon-based minerals and a molten iron core at the center.

LONDON (Reuters) – Forget the diamond as big as the Ritz. This one’s bigger than planet Earth.

Orbiting a star that is visible to the naked eye, astronomers have discovered a planet twice the size of our own made largely out of diamond.

The rocky planet, called ’55 Cancri e’, orbits a sun-like star in the constellation of Cancer and is moving so fast that a year there lasts a mere 18 hours.

Discovered by a U.S.-Franco research team, its radius is twice that of Earth’s but it is much more dense with a mass eight times greater. It is also incredibly hot, with temperatures on its surface reaching 3,900 degrees Fahrenheit (1,648 Celsius).

“The surface of this planet is likely covered in graphite and diamond rather than water and granite,” said Nikku Madhusudhan, the Yale researcher whose findings are due to be published in the journal Astrophysical Journal Letters.

The study – with Olivier Mousis at the Institut de Recherche en Astrophysique et Planetologie in Toulouse, France – estimates that at least a third of the planet’s mass, the equivalent of about three Earth masses, could be diamond.

Diamond planets have been spotted before but this is the first time one has been seen orbiting a sun-like star and studied in such detail.

“This is our first glimpse of a rocky world with a fundamentally different chemistry from Earth,” Madhusudhan said, adding that the discovery of the carbon-rich planet meant distant rocky planets could no longer be assumed to have chemical constituents, interiors, atmospheres, or biologies similar to Earth.

David Spergel, an astronomer at Princeton University, said it was relatively simple to work out the basic structure and history of a star once you know its mass and age.

“Planets are much more complex. This ‘diamond-rich super-Earth’ is likely just one example of the rich sets of discoveries that await us as we begin to explore planets around nearby stars.”

“Nearby” is a relative concept in astronomy. Any fortune-hunter not dissuaded by “The Diamond as Big as the Ritz”, F.Scott Fitzgerald’s jazz age morality tale of thwarted greed, will find Cancri e about 40 light years, or 230 trillion miles, from Park Avenue.

Which states consume the most beer?

10. Delaware – Per capita consumption: 34.3 gallons

8. (tie) Nebraska – Per capita consumption: 34.6 gallons

8. (tie) Texas – Per capita consumption: 36.6 gallons

7. Vermont – Per capita consumption: 34.7 gallons

6. Wisconsin – Per capita consumption: 36.2 gallons

5. Nevada – Per capita consumption: 36.5 gallons

4. South Dakota – Per capita consumption: 38 gallons

3. Montana – Per capita consumption: 40.6 gallons

2. North Dakota – Per capita consumption: 42.2 gallons

1. New Hampshire – Per capita consumption: 43.0 gallons

What? No Linen closet, armoire, under the bed or sweater drawer in the bureau? Must be a transient hotel!

Thanks to graciemj for this gem.

Triathlon triumph

Ben Baltz has gotten a lot of attention since he hitched a ride on a marine’s back

Marine Pfc. Matthew Morgan carries Ben Baltz across the finish line at the Sea Turtle Tri on Pensacola Beach on Sunday after Ben’s prosthetic leg fell off during the run portion of the race.

KIM BALTZ | Special to the Daily News

By KATIE TAMMEN

Published: Wednesday, October 10, 2012 at 22:12 PM.

VALPARAISO — Ben Baltz wasn’t excited about competing in yet another triathlon last weekend.

It was his third in the last few months. While he likes bicycling, running isn’t his favorite activity, especially if he can’t win doing it.

The 11-year-old had completed the 150-yard swim and three-mile bike ride in Sunday’s Sea Turtle Tri on Pensacola Beach, but about a half-mile into the run, he knew something was wrong.

“It (the leg) wobbles,” Ben said Wednesday at his home in Valparaiso.

Moments later, the screws on his prosthetic leg came loose and he went down.

What happened next, though, has captured the attention of the nation.

In the moments Ben was debating whether he could hop or maybe crawl the rest of the mile, a man named Matthew Morgan, a Marine who had volunteered to help at the youth event, stepped in.

“(Morgan said) ‘You need help?’ and I said, ‘Sure,’ and he picked me up and carried me,” Ben said.

For the next half mile, Ben held onto Pfc. Morgan with one arm and his prosthetic leg with the other.

Ben said he and Morgan didn’t really speak after their first exchange, but more Marines gathered around and sang a cadence.

As they reached the end and the crowd started roaring, Ben said he felt grateful for the help, but a little frustrated and embarrassed that he couldn’t complete the course on his own.

Freedom of movement is one thing Ben has gotten used to since he was fitted with a prosthetic leg in the summer of 2009. His lower right leg was removed the year before when he was 6 because of a type of bone cancer called osteosarcoma.

Until Sunday, his most spectacular leg malfunction came during a soccer game that he finished by taping it together with duct tape.

As news of his latest malfunction spreads, first on CNN’s website and then elsewhere, Ben remains mystified about why everyone is so interested in talking to him, especially since he didn’t finish the race on his own.

“He has no idea what the big deal is,” his mother Kim Baltz said with a laugh. “He honestly does not. He thinks it’s the Marines.”

According to John Murray, one of the co-founders of Team MPI, which organized the Sea Turtle Tri and helps athletes train for triathlons, no one even knew what had happened to Ben until an announcer spotted him and told the crowd.

“It was kind of a build-up in a way as more and more people became aware,” said Murray, who was standing at the finish line with his wife. “There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. … I was just overcome by emotion.”

Ben’s father, JC, seems to be having the easiest time processing Ben’s skyrocket to fame. He says a shared moment just before the race seemed to almost foreshadow his son and the Marine inspiring a nation with their actions.

JC and Ben were on the beach tossing a football when JC pulled out the bag of Dove dark chocolate candies he always carries and offered his son a piece.

Never one to turn down candy, the STEMM Middle School sixth-grader accepted the chocolate and found an inspirational message inside the wrapper his father had never seen before, despite constantly having it on hand.

It read, “You’re exactly where you need to be.”

Outstanding Pfc Morgan! Bravo Zulu. Semper Fi!

Ben Baltz Running on one leg Northwest Florida Daily News

You go little guy! The ONLY thing that can hold you back is you!

Good Morning Campers!  I had hoped to have more breast cancer awareness stuff for you today, but due to a bit of personal problems that all kind of piled up at the last second, you’ll have to make due with what I have here.  So….I’m probably in more need of a laugh than most of you, so what do ya say we get on with it…

Sally and Harry have been married for 50 years and are being
interviewed by a reporter from the local newspaper.
“So Sally,” asks the reporter, “I know today is your golden wedding anniversary, how old, exactly, are you?”
“I am 78 years old,” replies Sally proudly. “And I hope I live to be 100.”
“Well I hope your wish comes true,” says the reporter.
The reporter then turned to Harry and asked, “And how old are you, Harry?”
“I’m also 78 years old,” replies Harry, “and, please God, I should live to be 101.”
“But why,” asked the reporter, “would you want to live one year longer than your wife?”
“Well, to tell you the truth,” replies Harry, “I would like to have at least one year of peace and quiet.”

Gotta love the New Yorker Magazine.  How many of  you watched the debates?  Did you get the same impression that I (and obviously the New Yorker) did?  I hope America is paying attention.

Road rage paid back!  You gotta laugh.

I just found something to add to my Christmas wish list!!!! I want one!!!

Family Circle announced that Michelle Obama beat Ann Romney in

“Little House On The Prairie” may hit the big screen soon. Just think,

Here’s a great blog that asks a really good question…why aren’t more people making a stink about this?  Come on Mitt…here’s an easy one for you…

THE NO. 1 ISSUE THAT SHOULD DEFEAT OBAMA

Thanks to our hugely paranoid and wonderfully observant Little Leprechaun for finding the following:

It’s called the video that cost Obama the Re-Election.  I’m not sure about that, but I will say, it is a parade of some of the worst examples of democratic bullshit to ever hit the airways.  Watch it and judge for yourself.  But remember, it’s going to take a whole lot more than a simple video to shut down this evil regime.

Now, if you feel up to it, go and visit his website at http://stolenhistory.org/
And yet, what does the media focus on?  This quote by Romney:

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…

“And I mean the president starts off with 48, 49 … he starts off with a huge number. These are people who pay no income tax. Forty-seven percent of Americans pay no income tax. So our message of low taxes doesn’t connect. So he’ll be out there talking about tax cuts for the rich. I mean that’s what they sell every four years. And so my job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives. What I have to convince the five to ten percent in the center that are independents that are thoughtful, that look at voting one way or the other depending upon in some cases emotion, whether they like the guy or not.”

Now granted, I believe there are bunches of people who  Mr. Romney is putting in that category that don’t belong there, but on the flipside, few people believe they are “takers” instead of makers, so the potential of those people who he really is talking about actually being affronted by his comments is pretty small.  Naturally, he’s not speaking of those on retirement incomes or other earned government checks, but of those gimme entitlement government-tit-suckers who think they are “owed” something just for turning oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Yes, Sunshine, we are talking about you.  Why don’t you go out and get a job?  If I can have 4 jobs (1 full-time and 3 part-time) at the same time, to make ends meet, work more than 90 hours a week, every week when I needed it, then most anyone (who is physically capable) can get at least 1 job to help defray the cost of the government’s support.
Not that I would agree with this in all cases, but can you imagine how much money the government would save if they did a couple of really easy things?
Even if they gave out the difference between the support you would be getting and the job you have, even at minimum wage, that would be a huge savings.
Next, let’s make a drug test mandatory to receive support (yes, I’m singing that old song, and will continue to sing it until they make it so).
and finally, we have to do something to make it less appealing to the baby-making factories that just have kids to collect the check.  I truly feel as though that is child abuse.  It’s not kids because you want to bring a life into this world, because you love children, it’s the ones that are doing it for a pay check….and no…I don’t know how to tell the difference, or what we can do about it or anything else…
It seems like any REAL penalty is going to hurt the children more than the factories who are producing them.  I applaud the states that are forcing the fathers to support their children, but the fix in this case is often as expensive as the problem.
What do you do with a factory who says she doesn’t know who the father is?  Paternity tests?  You still have to have someone to test against.  Make  her give up a list of “possibilities”?  Are you going to force everyone on her list to take a blood test?  I’m pretty sure that there are laws against that sort of thing.
How about if there is no support without the name of the father?  and only if he denies it, does the state do a paternity test.  And she doesn’t get any support for the baby until a father is proven…and if she can’t properly support her child, I know there are LOTS of good parents, who can’t have children, who would love to adopt a  healthy baby.
And no matter what….Drugs = No Support!
Yeah, I’m with you Mitt…I’m tired of paying for them, too.