Dragon Laffs #1295


Header53adult2_thumb5Good Morning Campers!  Another great episode of your favorite e-zine is on the way!!!!  It’s still October and still breast cancer awareness month, what have you done lately to support this cause?  Throughout today’s issue I have placed 13 of 25 debunked myths about breast cancer… The remainder will be in next week’s issue….It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and across the U.S., men and women are wearing pink and participating in campaigns to raise awareness for the disease that strikes 227,000 women each year.
About 1 in 8 American women will develop breast cancer over the course of her lifetime. It’s the most common cancer in women worldwide, second only to skin cancer in the United States. Despite its prevalence, much confusion and misinformation exists about how the condition is caused and treated.
Can an underwire bra or antiperspirant deodorant cause breast cancer? Can women inherit the disease from dear old Dad?

I hope you not only enjoy the issue, but perhaps you even learn something….Let’s get started with #1/25

1/25 Myth: Only women with a family history of breast cancer are at risk Reality: Roughly 70 percent of women diagnosed with breast cancer have no identifiable risk factors for the disease. But the family-history risks are these: If a first-degree relative (a parent, sibling, or child) has had or has breast cancer, your risk of developing the disease approximately doubles. Having two first-degree relatives with the disease increases your risk even more.


Any woman can have the body of a 21-year-old, as long as she buys him a few drinks first.

I’ve still got it, but nobody wants to see it.

I’m getting into swing dancing.. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are
just prone to swinging.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

 

2/25 Myth: Wearing an underwire bra increases your risk of getting breast cancer Reality: Claims that underwire bras compress the lymphatic system of the breast, causing toxins to accumulate and cause breast cancer, have been widely debunked as unscientific. The consensus is that neither the type of bra you wear nor the tightness of your underwear or other clothing has any connection to breast cancer risk.

44This was sent to me by my Dad.  Very much worth watching.  I would’ve loved for this to have gotten more attention (in the media and elsewhere)much sooner than this.  And I’m very much afraid that the opinion of these young people is the exception, rather than the rule.  I think most of that generation are caught up in the “gimme” “what’s in it for me” entitlement attitude rather than the longer view shown by this group.
With about 18 days left until the election I don’t believe there is much time left to try and change somebody’s mind, the biggest point to push, as I said earlier, is to get people to

Vote

 

Produced in San Diego County by local college students, and local high schoolers…..can you believe it….in California !!
This 3-minute, professional-quality video is perfect to share across the nation with family, friends and everyone in between!!
Click link to view: Thumbnail Have sound on and view on “full screen”…well worth your time!

 

The teenagers who speak in this video belong to http://www.im2moro.org. These young people realize that if they don’t stand up and speak out for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness today, they will be living in a very different America tomorrow.

 

3/25 Myth: Most breast lumps are cancerous Reality: Roughly 80 percent of lumps in women’s breasts are caused by benign (noncancerous) changes, cysts, or other conditions. Doctors encourage women to report any changes at all, however, because catching breast cancer early is so beneficial. Your doctor may recommend a mammogram, ultrasound, or biopsy to determine whether a lump is cancerous.
4/25 Myth: Exposing a tumor to air during surgery causes cancer to spread Reality: Surgery doesn’t cause breast cancer and it doesn’t cause breast cancer to spread, as far as scientists can tell from the research so far.

Your doctor may find out during surgery that your cancer is more widespread than previously thought, however. And some animal studies have shown that removing the primary tumor sometimes enables metastatic cancers to grow, but only temporarily; this has not been demonstrated in humans.

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What it seems like to most of us with the nonsense between PC and Mac…

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Help!  I’m being kidnapped!!

5/25 Myth: Breast implants can raise your cancer risk Reality: Women with breast implants are at no greater risk of getting breast cancer, according to research. Standard mammograms don’t always work as well on these women, however, so additional X-rays are sometimes needed to more fully examine breast tissue.

 

COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.

ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It’s 9%.

COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 16%.

COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 16% unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, that’s 9%.

COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can’t count the “Out of Work” as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.

COSTELLO: What point?

ABBOTT: Someone who doesn’t look for work can’t be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn’t be fair.

COSTELLO: To whom?

ABBOTT: The unemployed.

COSTELLO: But they are ALL unemployed!

ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking. If you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

COSTELLO: So if you’re off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Of course!

COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don’t look for work?

ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That’s how it gets to 9%. If you counted them ALL it would be 16%. He doesn’t want anybody reading about 16% unemployment.

COSTELLO: Would that would be tough on his reelection?

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: Wait a minute. Does that mean there are two ways to bring down the unemployment rate?

ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

ABBOTT: Bingo.

COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have Obama’s supporters stop looking for work.

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like the Obama Economy Czar.

COSTELLO: I don’t even know what the hell I just said!

ABBOTT: Now you’re thinking like Obama!

 

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6/25 Myth: Breast implants can raise your cancer risk  Reality: Women with breast implants are at no greater risk of getting breast cancer, according to research. Standard mammograms don’t always work as well on these women, however, so additional X-rays are sometimes needed to more fully examine breast tissue.

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A QVC Shopping Channel host fainted on the air and passed out Monday. Her co-host standing next to her went right on talking as if nothing had happened. Mitt Romney showed the same cool when the exact same thinghappened during the presidential debate.

 

 


Penn State’s former coach Jerry Sandusky was sentenced to thirty years in prison on Tuesday for sexually abusing ten boys during the last decade. An hour after hearing his sentence, Jerry Sandusky had to take off his Penn State jersey. His new one reads State Pen.

 

7/25 Myth: Wearing antiperspirant increases your risk of getting breast cancer Reality: The American Cancer Society pooh-poohs this rumor, but admits that more research is needed. One small study did stumble on traces of parabens in a tiny sample of breast cancer tumors.

Parabens, used as preservatives in some antiperspirants, have weak estrogen-like properties, but the study in question made no cause-and-effect connection between parabens and breast cancer, nor did it conclusively identify the source of the parabens found in tumors.

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Good ol’ boy Cletus built hisself an indoor bathroom, determined
never to climb in and out of that old washtub on the back porch
again.

 

He then went on over to Jud’s Demolition & Dismantling Emporium
and picked up an old claw-foot tub to stick in there.

 

Next day, though, Cletus brings the tub back, complaining that
the water keeps leaking out.

 

Jud says, “Well, did you buy yo’sef a plug?”

 

“You summbitch!” yells Cletus. “You never said it was a’lectric!”

 

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8/25 Myth: Small-breasted women have less chance of getting breast cancer Reality: There’s no connection between the size of your breasts and your risk of getting breast cancer. Very large breasts may be harder to examine than small breasts, with clinical breast exams – and even mammograms and MRIs – more difficult to conduct. But all women, regardless of breast size, should commit to routine screenings and checkups.

Donate24222

 

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist: “Paint me with diamond ear-rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach and a gold Rolex.” The confused artist said: “But you’re not wearing any of those things.” “I know,” she said. “But if I die before my husband,I’m sure my husband will remarry. And I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”

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PublicAnother warning from our master of disaster (avoidance) and seer of portentous perils, our own Lethal Leprechaun <cue applause track>

A scam, that has been around before, is coming round again.  A phone callmicrosoft_273x178 from a blocked number who say they are from Microsoft and they can tell from your computer that you have been a naughty boy (or girl) but they can help you get rid of the evidence.  I’m sure you can take it from there yourself.  Let’s examine a couple of things….first of all, no legitimate business, least of all Microsoft, will block jazz_telephone1their number when they call.  Most of them WANT you to have their number in the hopes you will call them back.  Secondly, Microsoft doesn’t call you, you call Microsoft and finally, Microsoft cannot monitor what you are doing on your computer. So, long story short, if you get those phone calls,  hang up and save yourself some grief!

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9/25 Myth: Breast cancer always comes in the form of a lump Reality: A lump may indicate breast cancer (or one of many benign breast conditions), but women should also be on the alert for other kinds of changes that may be signs of cancer. These include swelling; skin irritation or dimpling; breast or nipple pain; nipple retraction (turning inward); redness, scaliness, or thickening of the nipple or breast skin; or a discharge other than breast milk.

Breast cancer can also spread to underarm lymph nodes and cause swelling there before a tumor in the breast is large enough to be felt. On the other hand, a mammogram may pick up breast cancer that has no outward symptoms at all.

 

If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker.
If he is bald at the back, he is sexy.
If he is bald from front to back – he thinks he is sexy.

 

10/25 Myth: You can’t get breast cancer after a mastectomy Reality: Some women do get breast cancer after a mastectomy, sometimes at the site of the scar. Or the original cancer may have spread. For women at high risk of breast cancer who have their breasts removed as a prophylactic or preventive measure, there’s still a chance, though a small one, that they can get breast cancer. After prophylactic mastectomy a woman’s risk for developing breast cancer is reduced by an average of 90 percent.

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First thing – every single morning – one of the secretaries in our office opened the newspaper and read everyone’s horo- scope aloud. “Gwen,” said our boss finally, “you seem to be a normal, levelheaded person. Do you really believe in astrology?” “Of course not,” Gwen answered. “You know how skeptical we Capricorns are.”

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Skipping down the hall with her parents, at the hospital where I
work, was the cutest little blond girl wearing hot-pink Crocs.

One of the
nurses walking down the same hall was wearing those colourful
printed scrubs that hospital staff often sport, and when she
passed the family, she said to the little girl, “Wow! I sure like
your shoes.”

“Thank you!” the girl replied. As she continued down the hall way,
she added, “And I sure like your jammies!”

 

11/25 Myth: Your father’s family history of breast cancer doesn’t affect your risk as much as your mother’s Reality: Your father’s family history of breast cancer is just as important as your mother’s in understanding your risk. But to find out about the risk stemming from your father’s side of the family, you need to look primarily at the women; while men do get breast cancer, women are more vulnerable to it. Associated cancers in men (such as early-onset prostate or colon cancer) on either side are also important to factor in when doing a full family-tree risk assessment.

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Today’s cool website comes with a great story.  Mrs. Dragon and I visited a little Pie Shop that we’ve been driving by for many years.  We’ve meant to stop, but just never seemed to be the right time.  The pie shop is about an hour south of us, so we pass it when we go to visit Mrs. Dragons family.  Anyway, we stopped and I got to tell you this…. we will definitely be making this a regular stop from now on!  Lisa’s Pie Shop is located several miles south of Kokomo, Indiana on US 31.
While we were there, we discovered that Lisa has been recognized with Awards all across the country, she’s been recognized by many as being the eminent baker of pies and desserts in America.
Here’s a look at the Dutch Apple Pie that we brought home:
56And I’ve got to tell you, as good as it looks, it tasted even better!
Their website is
www.lisaspieshop.com
They have this thing called a pie in a jar.  You can
58 check it out on their website.  Way cool.  and a really easy way to send someone a pie in the mail.  They will even send it for you!  While we were there we sampled a pie in a jar that was strawberry and rhubarb.  It was unbelievably delicious.
Well, all of this has led around to a special deal they are trying to work for our troops overseas.  I have a copy of the little advertising that they have done up for this. 

55Of course, we had to donate $12.50 for a pie in the name of Dragon Laffs!  Definitely a worthy cause.
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What is the similarity between a rattlesnake and a limp penis? You don’t screw with either one.

The teacher asked Johnny to make a sentence using the math terms add, subtract, divide, and multiply. He said, “To have sex, you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope you don’t multiply.

If a tennis player gets tennis elbow, what does a gynecologist get? Tunnel vision.

A papoose is the consolation prize for taking a chance on an Indian blanket.

Virginity: A bubble on the stream of life, one prick and it’s gone forever.

What do you call a guy who is sexually attracted to tramps? A hobosexual

“I hear you went fishing with your girl last week.” “Yes, that’s right.” “Catch anything?” “Don’t know yet.”

When you take Viagra and Prozac at the same time, you get a guy who is ready to go, but doesn’t really care where.

One Greek says to another, “Do you think you’ll ever go back to Greece?” “No,” he answered, “I’ll stick with K-Y Jelly!

Okay, I admit I’m not very good at oral sex. But my wife doesn’t have to keep rubbing my nose in it.

 

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Fairytale

This is a fairy tale: Once upon a time there was a rich and handsome king. He sent fliers throughout his kingdom promising that whoever brought him the head of the fearsome dragon that was terrorizing the countryside could have all of his wealth or the hand of his lovely daughter in marriage. Of course, all the able-bodied men in the kingdom went off in pursuit. Three days later a fellow arrived at the palace door bearing the bloody head of the dragon. “Well done,” exclaimed the king. “You may have my beautiful daughter’s hand.” “Thanks, but I don’t want your daughter,” said the man. “I see. Come with me to empty out the treasury,” offered the king. “Thanks, but I don’t want your money either. I want YOU, sweetie!” So they lived happily ever after. See, I told you it was a fairy tale.

12/25 Myth: Caffeine causes breast cancer Reality: No causal connection has been found between drinking caffeine and getting breast cancer; in fact, some research suggests that caffeine may actually lower your risk. So far it’s inconclusive whether breast soreness may be linked to caffeine.

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Acid
and yet
Flash
Gun control
Guns don't

Hi Sweetheart,

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the

Christmas lights. I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something. I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy. All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season. Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas
lights! I took the time to hang the lights for you today; and now I will be off to the hockey rink.

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I’ll be home later.

Love you..

41


Her response –
Hi Honey,

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don’t often get an

apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, felt bad
about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that
I can sometimes be a little pushy. I will try to respect your
feelings from now on. Thank you for taking the time to hang
the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit
of giving, I washed your truck for you; and now I am off to
the mall.

I love you too!

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Exhaustipated

Here is a new word to add to your vocabulary. It will be especially useful to us senior folks!

Exhaustipated: Just too tired to give a shit.

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13/25 Myth: If you’re at risk for breast cancer, there’s little you can do but watch for the signs  Reality: There’s a lot that women can do to lower their risk, including losing weight if they’re obese, getting regular exercise, lowering or eliminating alcohol consumption, being rigorous about examining their own breasts, and having regular clinical exams and mammograms. Quitting smoking wouldn’t hurt either.

Some high-risk women also choose to have a prophylactic mastectomy to decrease their risk by roughly 90 percent. They can take other proactive steps such as having regular MRIs, exploring chemoprevention with treatments such as tamoxifen, and participating in clinical trials.


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1a_thumb_thumb_thumb_thumbThis is probably the best examination of the Obamas that I have ever read.  Written by Mychal Massie more than six months ago, it is more telling and exacting now then it was then:

68Mychal Massie is a respected writer and talk show host in Los Angeles.

The other evening on my twitter, a person asked me why I didn’t like the Obama’s? Specifically I was asked: “I have to ask, why do you hate the Obama’s? It seems personal, not policy related. You even dissed (disrespect) their Christmas family picture.”

The truth is I do not like the Obamas, what they represent, their ideology, and I certainly do not like his policies and legislation. I’ve made no secret of my contempt for the Obamas. As I responded to the person who asked me the aforementioned question, I don’t like them because they are committed to the fundamental change of my/our country into what can only be regarded as a Communist state.

I don’t hate them per definition, but I condemn them because they are the worst kind of racialists, they are elitist Leninists with contempt for traditional America . They display disrespect for the sanctity of the office he holds, and for those who are willing to admit same, Michelle Obama’s raw contempt for white America is transpicuous.

I don’t like them because they comport themselves as emperor and empress. I expect, no I demand respect, for the Office of President and a love of our country and her citizenry from the leader entrusted with the governance of same. President and Mrs. Reagan displayed an unparalleled love for the country and her people. The Reagan’s made Americans feel good about themselves and about what we could accomplish. His arrogance by appointing 32 leftist czars and constantly bypassing congress is impeachable. Eric Holder is probably the MOST incompetent and arrogant DOJ head to ever hold the job. Could you envision President Reagan instructing his Justice Department to act like jack-booted thugs?

Presidents are politicians and all politicians are known and pretty much expected to manipulate the truth, if not outright lie, but even using that low standard, the Obama’s have taken lies, dishonesty, deceit, mendacity, subterfuge and obfuscation to new depths. They are verbally abusive to the citizenry, and they display an animus for civility.

I do not like them, because they both display bigotry overtly, as in the case of Harvard Professor Louis Gates, when he accused the Cambridge Police of acting stupidly, and her code speak pursuant to now being able to be proud of America . I view that statement and that mindset as an insult to those who died to provide a country where a Kenyan, his illegal alien relatives, and his alleged progeny, could come and not only live freely, but rise to the highest, most powerful, position in the world. Michelle Obama is free to hate and disparage whites because Americans of every description paid with their blood to ensure her right to do same.

I have a saying, that “the only reason a person hides things, is because they have something to hide.” No president in history has spent over a million dollars to keep his records and his past sealed.

And what the two of them have shared has been proved to be lies. He lied about when and how they met, he lied about his mother’s death and problems with insurance, Michelle lied to a crowd pursuant to nearly $500,000 bank stocks they inherited from his family. He has lied about his father’s military service, about the civil rights movement, ad nausea. He lied to the world about the Supreme Court in a State of the Union address. He berated and publicly insulted a sitting Congressman. He has surrounded himself with the most rabidly, radical, socialist academicians today. He opposed rulings that protected women and children that even Planned Parenthood did not seek to support. He is openly hostile to business and aggressively hostile to Israel . His wife treats being the First Lady as her personal American Express Black Card (arguably the most prestigious credit card in the world). I condemn them because, as people are suffering, losing their homes, their jobs, their retirements, he and his family are arrogantly showing off their life of entitlement – as he goes about creating and fomenting class warfare.

I don’t like them, and I neither apologize nor retreat from my public condemnation of them and of his policies. We should condemn them for the disrespect they show our people, for his willful and unconstitutional actions pursuant to obeying the Constitutional parameters he is bound by, and his willful disregard for Congressional authority.

Dislike for them has nothing to do with the color of their skin; it has everything to do with their behavior, attitudes, and policies. And I have open scorn for their constantly playing the race card.

It is my intention to do all within my ability to ensure their reign is one term. I could go on, but let me conclude with this. I condemn in the strongest possible terms the media for refusing to investigate them, as they did President Bush and President Clinton, and for refusing to label them for what they truly are. There is no scenario known to man, whereby a white president and his wife could ignore laws, flaunt their position, and lord over the people, as these two are permitted out of fear for their color.

As I wrote in a syndicated column titled, “Nero In The White House” – “Never in my life, inside or outside of politics, have I witnessed such dishonesty in a political leader. He is the most mendacious political figure I have ever witnessed. Even by the low standards of his presidential predecessors, his narcissistic, contumacious arrogance is unequalled. Using Obama as the bar, Nero would have to be elevated to sainthood… Many in America wanted to be proud when the first person of color was elected president, but instead, they have been witness to a congenital liar, a woman who has been ashamed of America her entire life, failed policies, intimidation, and a commonality hitherto not witnessed in political leaders. He and his wife view their life at our expense as an entitlement – while America ‘s people go homeless, hungry and unemployed.”

67And of course, the chosen picture to go with the article is PERFECT!!!
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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1295

  1. wizard1952 says:

    Lethal and Impish, For some reason I do not receive Dragon Laffs any more. I have to have a friend ‘o mine forward it to me every Sat. & Wed. I have tried to re-subscribe 2 or 3 times, to no avail. Please, Please, Please, put me back on the list of subscribers. My e-mail address is:maximena@sbcglobal.net
    Thank you ever so much,
    Wizard1952

  2. lethalleprechaun says:

    Oh to be that little pink ribbon in the opening header!

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