Leprechaun Laughs # 164 for Wednesday October 24th


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Since it is readily apparent that I’m just not going to find the serious amount of time required to do our usual high level of justice to a Halloween Special Issue I thought I’d toss a few Halloween type Graphics in today to get you folks in the mood. I’ve changed the blog background to a more Halloween appropriate one as well. But before I get started I’d like to take a moment to talk about a serious issue Impish and I have recently suffered with the blog.

Due to a high anxiety level over the blogs performance of  late, you may have noticed that I suffered a brief bout of Performance Anxiety last Monday which when coupled with a severely under caffeinated me resulted in  my experiencing a case of Premature Leprechaunation similar  to, but far more premature, than the one suffered by Impish his previous issue which was only 12 hours too early as opposed to my nearly 72.

I’d like to thank the majority of you for not heightening my levels of embarrassment by commenting or assuring me this happens to you too. As for those of you (and I was shocked at the number) who reached out to support me and admit you too suffer Posting Related Performance Anxiety Issues, my heart felt thanks. Rest assured Impish and I WILL be forming the suggested DL/LL Performance Anxiety Support Group.

K-Squared, Paul and the rest of you- we’ll contact you privately about our 1st meeting shortly.

Opening Logo 6

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Impish is SUCH a monster without his first gallon!

At the Doctors

While examining this lady patient, the doctor tells her: “Your heart, lungs, pulse & BP are fine.

Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”

The lady immediately started taking off her clothes…..

The doctor, stopping her said: “No! No! Please put on your clothes. Just show me your tongue.”

https://i0.wp.com/4.bp.blogspot.com/_tbEol4ImuV0/TMin-aAkwFI/AAAAAAAADmk/I9LiYJQv2es/s1600/H1.gif

 

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Speed Buggy’s long-lost cousin.

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Oooo! New Readership!

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Elton Brown would approve! He champions kitchen multitasking equipment!

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Well this certainly takes recycling to new heights but I guess whoever winds up in there won’t notice the smell anyway.

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Talk about a dilemma! Who’s address should I send her? Decisions! Decisions!

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Wait! What??! Women aren’t included in the prescription?!

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Ah-so! THAT explains how I got an order of fried fingers instead of fried chicken fingers!

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Introspection Outside the Box

Been a while since I ran one of these. Lets see if I still remember how.

I sure hope I look as good as Keith Richards does when I’ve been dead as long as he has.

Hey! Not bad, and its Halloween themed too! Let’s try one more!

I credit my mother for helping me to recognize my personal demons. She sewed my name tag on each one.

Yup still got it!

ftrbotacensored

Commie Zombies! Aaaaa!!!

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Adorable Halloween Costume? Check! Hey! You know? That cat just might be on to something Impish! The hell with candy! We should Trick or Treat for Beers & Burgers this year!

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Halloween Groaners

What do you say to a ghost with three heads?
A: Hello, hello, hello.

What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?
A: The roller-ghoster.

Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?
A: He wants to use them later for cold cuts.

What is a baby ghost’s favorite game?
A: Peek-a-boo!

What is the Mummy’s favorite type of music?
A: Wrap.
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

A: Fangsgiving.
What kind of street does a zombie like best?
A: A dead end.

Who does a goblin go out with on Halloween?
A. His ghoul friend.

What type of dog do vampires like the best?
A: A Bloodhound.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
A: They get shudders.

Why couldn’t the skeleton go skydiving?
A. He didn’t have the guts.

How do monsters tell their future?
A: They read their horrorscopes.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A: No, they eat the fingers separately.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.

What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee?
A: A boo boo.

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A: A guy with very high blood pressure.

Why do witches use brooms to fly?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: “Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A: A cereal killer.

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
A: Tweets.

Why did the ghoul go to the cafeteria for dinner?
A. He heard children were half price.

Why do cemeteries have fences around them?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
A: He was buttering up his teacher.
Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them up all day.

What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Why don’t mummies take vacations?
A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

 

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You guys (well at least a couple of you) are forcing me to make this a regular thing! I have to admit having some experience with the Japanese and their mind set as well of their sense of Nationalism, I too almost fell for this one. I was all set to use it as a guest rant for the Parting Shot when Impish whom I sent it to for comment made the observation that he’d have preferred that the sender or the author had cited some sources. That made the old neon question mark light up above your favorite Irish skeptics head ( I AM your FAVORITE….RIGHT?). Didn’t take me long to see this is more just pure steaming hot pasture pie fresh from the bovine- regardless of how much sense it seems to make policy wise.

Our reader comments on the piece:

Very Interesting!!! Did you Know???? I didn’t, but then the Japanese were always kind of racist I guess due to centuries of isolation from other peoples. But I still wonder if this is true, just seems unlikely in today’s global society.

Yup he’s absolutely right too, does seem unlikely- because it isn’t so!

Japan, very interesting!!!

 

Have you ever read in the newspaper that a political leader or a prime minister from an Islamic nation has visited Japan? Have you ever come across news that the King of Iran or a Saudi Arabia prince has visited Japan? Japan, a Country keeping Islam at bay. Japan has put strict restrictions on Islam and ALL Muslims.

The reasons are:
a) Japan is the only nation that does not give citizenship to Muslims.
b) In Japan permanent residency is not given to Muslims.
c) There is a strong ban on the propagation of Islam in Japan .
d) In the University of Japan, Arabic or any Islamic language is not taught.
e) One cannot import ‘Koran’ published in Arabic language.
f) According to data published by Japanese government, it has given temporary residency to only 2 lakhs Muslims, who need to follow the Japanese Law of the Land. These Muslims should speak Japanese and
carry their religious rituals in their homes.
g) Japan is the only country in the world that has a negligible number of embassies of Islamic countries.
h) Japanese people are not attracted to Islam at all.
i) Muslims residing in Japan are the employees of foreign companies.
j) Even today visas are not granted to Muslim doctors, engineers or managers sent by foreign companies.
k) In the majority of companies, it is stated in their regulations that no Muslims should apply for a job.
l) The Japanese government is of the opinion that Muslims are fundamentalist and even in the era of globalization, they are not willing to change their Muslim laws.
m) Muslims can not even think about getting a rented house in Japan .
n) If anyone comes to know that his neighbor is a Muslim then the whole neighborhood stays alert.
o) No one can start an Islamic cell or Arabic ‘Madrasa’ in Japan
p) There is no personal (Sharia) law in Japan .
q) If a Japanese woman marries a Muslim then she is considered an outcast forever.
r) According to Mr. Komico Yagi (Head of Department, Tokyo University)
“There is a mind frame in Japan that Islam is a very narrow minded religion and one should stay away from it.”

I couldn’t agree more. Freelance journalist Mohammed Juber toured many non Islamic countries
after 9/11 including Japan. He found that the Japanese were confident that extremists could do no harm in Japan. Now you know why.

Now here is how you know this is all post bovine digestive waste:

1.) If it were true there would not have been a Roundtable in Japan in 2008 with published notes by the Asian Policy Organization entitled: Islam in Japan: A Cause For Concern?

http://www.muslimpopulation.com/pdf/Japan_Islam%20in%20Japan_Asia%20Policy.pdf

2.) MuslimMatters.org would have no reason to publish an article decrying:

Muslims in Japan are Another Kind of Rumor Victims

http://muslimmatters.org/2011/06/09/muslims-in-japan-are-another-kind-of-rumor-victims/

They would have published something whining about how it was Islamaphobia & religious hatred keeping them out of Japan and preventing them from attempting to subvert the Japanese government and religions in favor if Islam

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Japan

If ‘f’ above were true then I would not be finding this statement:

According to japanfocus.org,[13] ‘There are currently between 30 and 40 single-story mosques in Japan, plus another 100 or more apartment rooms set aside, in the absence of more suitable facilities, for prayers.

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/text/nn20120922b4.html

Which not only disproves ‘f’, but if there are no resident Muslims, then why do they need so many damned Mosques to a religion they are actively seeking to prevent the presence of in their country in the first place?

Sorry folks as much as some of what was said makes sense if you are trying to control a Muslim infestation/infection of a country not only is it NOT true in Japan, but unworkable here. Most of those points would either violate the founding tenants of the United States, but violate multiple Federal laws regarding discrimination & hate crimes.

Sadly I have to declare that:

Rottenecards_83364771_8d5fwm7cby

 

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Both of Impish’s last 2 issues have included heads up warnings from me about important potential cyber security threats that I became aware of after my issue had already posted. Well it seems to be the season for threats because I received this notice on Saturday courtesy of KimKommando’s newsletter of another new potential threat:

Last week, I warned you about a dangerous scam email with the subject line “CNN Breaking News — Mitt Romney Almost President.”

Well, this week 3 new scam emails have appeared that are just as dangerous. Clicking on the links in these emails can take you to Canadian online pharmacy sites or sites that can take control of your computer.

Scammers love email. It’s easy to pose as a legitimate company and trick you into clicking malicious links or downloading infected attachments.

You always have to be on guard against email scams, and some are more convincing than others.

Here are three subject lines of convincing scam emails that are going around right now. If you see these in your inbox, delete them immediately.

  • “YouTube Service has sent you a message: Your video on the TOP of YouTube”
  • “Google Support has sent you a message: You are on the Top”
  • “You have 4 pending messages on LinkedIn”

If that’s not bad enough, there is also a scam email claiming to be from Amazon that is starting to make the rounds. So watch out for that as well.

If you receive an email from any of these companies, don’t click on any links or open any attachments! Instead, open your browser and visit the company’s site manually.

If you really want to play it safe, call the company’s customer service. Be sure you get the number from the company’s site, not the email! Scammers love putting fake customer service numbers in scam emails and then tricking you when you call.

As a general rules of thumb for safe cyber surfing of the net:

  1. If its in your spam box, unless its from someone you KNOW (and even then be very careful lots of people get hacked ort virused which allows access to their e-mail addresses) its probably NOT an accident its there. Best to leave it there and delete it.
  2. NEVER give your e-mail address and password to ANY site claiming they will tell your friends about how you signed up for this great site. Unless of course you want to lose them all because of the spam they will continually get courtesy of you.
  3. Even if its in your regular Inbox if a company or website has no reason to be contacting you its likely a virus and to be avoided.

Finally save yourself a whole pile of grief on the phone, if the identity of a caller is blocked or if you do not know who is texting you, ignore them. By responding you are going to get your name on lists that are resold which will get you more of the same. Even just saying wrong number or I don’t know you go away validates your number and the fact you’ll respond.

You can heed my advice now, or pay someone like me later to remove the trouble ignoring it has gotten you into!

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Trick! Trick! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN! TAKE THE TRICK!

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It’s getting to be one of my gastronomic favorite times of the year. I’m not talking Thanksgiving, though admittedly that IS a pretty good time food wise- especially if you love Turkey, Stuffing & Gravy. No, I’m talking PUMPKIN SEASON! Tasty, versatile, good for you and (per pound) relatively cheap. It makes great soups and savory dishes was well as deserts plus you can roast and eat the seeds for a snack besides!

Here’s a couple recipes that don’t even require the preparation of a fresh pumpkin, just a can of good quality pumpkin.

Frozen Pumpkin Mousse Pie

Prep Time: 30 min

Inactive Prep Time: 4 hr 0 min

Cook Time: 15 min

Level: Intermediate

Serves: 12 servings

Ingredients

 

  • 8 ounces gingersnap cookies, broken (about 2 1/2 cups)
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons light-brown sugar
  • 1 cup canned pumpkin puree
  • 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
  • 3/4 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 quart low-fat vanilla yogurt softened
  • Maple Whipped Cream, recipe follows, optional

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

1. Combine the gingersnaps, oil, and 2 tablespoons brown sugar in the bowl of a food processor; pulse to form fine crumbs. Press the crumbs into the bottom and up the sides of a 9-inch pie plate. Bake until the crust is set and golden brown, 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely on a wire rack.

2. In a large bowl, stir together the pumpkin puree, vanilla, pumpkin pie spice and remaining 1/3 cup brown sugar until blended; stir in the frozen yogurt. Spread into the cooled pie crust and freeze until firm, about 3 hours. Wrap tightly in plastic to freeze up to 1 week.

3. When ready to serve, transfer the pie to the refrigerator to soften slightly, about 30 minutes. Top with Maple Whipped Cream, if desired.

Nutritional analysis per serving

Calories 279; Total Fat 8.5 g (Sat Fat 2.7g, Mono Fat 1.7g, Poly Fat 1.7g) ; Protein 7g; Carb 44g; Fiber 1g; Cholesterol 43mg; Sodium 158mg

Maple Whipped Cream:

  • 1 3/4 teaspoons unflavored powdered gelatin
  • 2 tablespoons water
  • 1 cup 2 percent reduced-fat milk
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1. Sprinkle the gelatin over the water in a medium bowl; let stand until absorbed, about 5 minutes. In a small saucepan, heat the milk until steaming. Whisk the hot milk into the gelatin to dissolve. Stir in the maple syrup and vanilla.

2. Place the bowl in a bowl of ice water and stir occasionally until just beginning to set around the edges, about 15 minutes. Using a hand-held mixer, beat the cold milk mixture on high until thick and fluffy, about 8 minutes. Spread on top of the frozen mousse pie; swirl like a meringue topping. Serve.

Yield: 12 servings

Nutritional analysis per serving of Maple Whipped Cream

Calories 29; Total Fat 0.4 g (Sat Fat 0.3g, Mono Fat 0.1g, Poly Fat 0g) ; Protein 1g; Carb 5.5g; Fiber 0g; Cholesterol 2mg; Sodium 10mg

Pumpkin Rice Pudding

Prep Time: 25 min

Inactive Prep Time: 8 hr 0 min

Cook Time: 1 hr 10 min

Level: Easy

Serves: 8 servings

Ingredients

  • 2 cups water
  • 1 cup Arborio rice
  • 3 cups reduced-fat (2%) milk
  • 1 cup solid-pack pure pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
  • 3/4 cup honey
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon, plus more for garnish
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/3 cup heavy whipping cream, whipped

Directions

Preheat the oven to 375F.

Bring the water to a boil in an ovenproof 4-quart saucepan. Stir in the rice and cover. Reduce the heat to low and simmer until the rice is nearly cooked, about 20 minutes.

In a large bowl, whisk together the milk, pumpkin, honey, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and salt.

While the rice is still hot, add the pumpkin mixture to the saucepan and stir well to combine. Cover and transfer to the oven. Bake until the liquid has reduced by about a third and the mixture is foamy and bubbling, 45 to 50 minutes. Remove from the oven and stir well to combine all the ingredients. Transfer to a large bowl, then cover and chill in the refrigerator for at least 8 hours or overnight. The pudding will keep for up to 4 days in an airtight container in the refrigerator. Serve with a dollop of whipped cream and a sprinkling of cinnamon.

Serving size: 1/2 cup rice pudding and 1 1/2 tablespoons whipped cream

Per Serving:

Calories 240; Total Fat 6 g (Sat Fat 3.5 g, Mono Fat 1.5 g, Poly Fat 0 g); Protein 4 g; Carb 42 g; Fiber 1 g; Cholesterol 20 mg; Sodium 120 mg

  • Excellent source of: Vitamin A
  • Good source of: Calcium, Iodine, Phosphorus, Riboflavin, Vitamin D

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Famous Video Game Characters Re-Imagined As Zombies

You say what so you want to be for Halloween to a kid now a days and 8 out of 10 will probably say ‘A ZOMBIE!’ Here a look at a few select cartoon/video game characters (selected so we old farts know who they are) done up as Zombies.

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Mario

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Link (Legend of Zelda)

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Pikachu (from Pokemon)

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Harry Potter

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Batman

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Master Chief (from HALO)

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Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)

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Chuck Norris [Damn! I would have thought he was so tough he’d defeat Zombifacation!]

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Mega-Man

Just remember Boys & Girls that just like Halloween…

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Here’s a Trick, or a Treat I guess, depending on your point of view- There is no Parting Shot from me this week.

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From

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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