NO IMPISH! The Pumpkin Pies are FINE! They most CERTAINLY DO NOT need ANOTHER ‘Quality Control Check’. You want to maneuver another pie down your massive maw try a Mincemeat Pie! Nobody eats those damned things anyway!

Can you have TWO??!! <Reaches for shot gun hidden under kitchen island> SURE! <sound of shot gun hammers cocking back> Where you’d you like them? You’ve a couple last minute holiday errands to run? Ok fine by me. While you are out don’t come back with out a Left-hand curling Cornucopia for the center piece, UNDERSTAND? <Impish gets gut jabbed with shotgun for added emphasis> No left hand curling Cornucopia, <jab> no turkey dinner, <jab> no pies, <jab> no leftovers <jab> and MAYBE <jab> we serve stuffed Dragon <jab> for Christmas this year! <Sound of hurried waddling and indignant grumbling fades into distance.>

Sorry about that folks, I thought Impish’s help might prove to be a blessing to have around in the Celtic Kitchen around the holidays, but God willing- I’ll never be blessed with his holiday kitchen ‘help’ again!

 

One day a sailor decided to visit several bars because he felt like getting drunk.

He started into to one of the bars (he was already on his way to being drunk) when a mouse crossed his path. He picked up the

mouse and stuffing it in his pocket said, “You’re going to be my drinking partner tonight.”

He sat down at the bar and ordered 2 beers, drinking one and pouring the other one into his pocket. He then asked the bartender for two more beers and did the same thing under the watchful eye of the bartender.

Once again, he ordered 2 more beers but almost fell off the stool he was on. The bartender seeing this, told the sailor that he was too drunk to have any more and ordered him to leave the bar.

The sailor then grabbed the bartender by the shirt collar and shouted, “If you do not give me 2 more beers I am going to knock you all over this bar!”

Just then the mouse popped his head out of the sailor’s pocket and shouted, “THAT GOES FOR YOUR DAMN CAT TOO!”

 

ODE TO A TURKEY

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;
His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of….. Black November;

“Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you’ll get six meals instead of just three,
“And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
“And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
In’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head;
“Then she’ll pluck out all your feathers so you’re bald ‘n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink;

 

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I’d have to lay low and remain overlooked;
I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and grapes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes;
I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;
And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;

So now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap;
I haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap;
She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said
“Christmas is coming”

 

“We Americans got so tired of being thought of as dumbasses by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this November and removed all doubt.”

 

Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one compound and never left the house for 5 years.

It is now believed he called the Navy Seals himself.

And now for an opposing end of the IQ scale point of view…

I can’t understand why my wife doesn’t enjoy my magnificent flatulence. After all, “I” makes the difference between “rectal” and “recital.”

 

 Today I mixed laxative with nitrous oxide, just for shits and giggles.

 

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes

Writers, comedians, and other personalities reflect on Thanksgiving traditions with a collection of funny, quotable quotes.

from Treasury of Wit & Wisdom via our resident turkey- Graciemj

Q: How do you know when you’ve had too much Thanksgiving dinner?

Q: What’s a scientist’s recipe for apple pie?

Q: What are you serving for dinner this Thanksgiving?

Q: What do you serve to drink at Thanksgiving?

Q: How do you get the kids to eat their veggies at the Thanksgiving table?

Q: What’s the best way to use any leftovers?

Q: What’s a good time to serve Thanksgiving dinner?

Q: What’s a good Thanksgiving quote for the vegetarians at the table?

–==++ The Mayan Calendar Speaks ++==–

Mayan Calendar says: Enjoy that Timex while you can, Sparky.
NOTHING keeps on ticking after December 21.

 

 

 The Best Argument for Supporting Gay

Marriage You’ll Ever See or Hear

Guys- This is not empty threat! The logic behind it is frighteningly well thought out and undeniable! 

Support Same Sex Marriage Or Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video/6846855/gay-men-will-marry-your-girlfriends

 

 

‘It’s Thanksgiving’ Anthem Goes Viral: Producer & Singer Dish About Video

Nov 19, 2012 4:45 AM EST

The risible holiday anthem ‘It’s Thanksgiving’ has garnered more than 9 million You Tube views and triggered a fatwa from teens on Twitter. Singer Nicole Westbrook and producer Patrice Wilson—the brains behind Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’—talk about making the much-maligned hit.

Since being unleashed Nov. 7 on YouTube, “It’s Thanksgiving,” a risible music video produced by Patrice Wilson and sung by 12-year-old starlet Nicole Westbrook, has racked up more than 9 million views … and loads of vitriol

 

It’s been branded the “New Worst Song Ever” by ABC’s Good Morning America, and so inflamed a generation of tweens, they’ve issued a fatwa against it on Twitter. On YouTube, it has far more “dislikes” (135,000-plus) than “likes” (18,000-plus). Some haters even feel it deserves its rightful place in the annals of trash-pop infamy alongside Kevin Federline’s “Popozão,” The Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out,” and “Friday,” by Rebecca Black.

The latter song by Black, which accumulated more than 40 million YouTube views, also was produced by Wilson and subscribes to his viral formula of a cutesy teenage girl chirping a happy-go-lucky anthem over ersatz beats.

“A month before Thanksgiving, I thought, ‘You know, there’s no Thanksgiving song out there!’” Wilson tells The Daily Beast. “And my team mentioned the Adam Sandler ‘Turkey Song,’ but we wanted a big anthem.”

The music video for “It’s Thanksgiving” opens at a house party with JoJo doppelganger Westbrook singing its infectious chorus: “Oh-Oh-Oh … It’s Thanksgiving. We-We-We are gonna have a good time. With the turkey—HEY!—mashed potatoes—HEY!—It’s Thanksgiving.” Later, she raps a few bars before engaging in a slew of sight gags, including singing into a turkey leg, getting served ribs, and Wilson randomly popping up in a turkey costume.

“It’s all about having good, clean fun,” says Wilson, with a chuckle. “There’s no ribs on Thanksgiving but I had ribs in the song, so it was a fun little twist. The turkey outfit was a last-minute decision suggested by someone on my team, so we ran out and rented it the day of the shoot. And one of my directors, Chris, suggested Nicole hold the turkey leg like a microphone.”

“This is my first time singing into a turkey leg,” adds Westbrook. “I’d never seen anyone do it, but I guess it’s just like singing into your hairbrush … but with a turkey leg.”

Westbrook, 12, moved to Los Angeles from St. Louis four years ago with her family in order to chase her dream of being a pop star. Her mother, who sells paper-shredding machines, relocated her job out there, and her father, a former pro soccer player, teaches high school and club soccer. Westbrook initially struggled to break into the music industry, booking jobs with Kidz Bop, a series of compilation albums with child musicians performing contemporary hits; a few toy commercials; and starred as a young Amish girl in the Lifetime original movie, Amish Grace.

 

Ode to Turkey: A Haiku

A Short Poem in Honor of Thanksgiving

potato pillow
under a gravy blanket –
a nap on a plate

 

Raspberry Mousse Brownies

Brownie mix, chocolate chips and whipping cream create a chocolate lover’s dreamy indulgence.

Prep Time 20 Minutes

Total Time 4:30 Hrs:Mins

Makes 18 servings

1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Betty Crocker® Original Supreme Premium brownie mix

Water, vegetable oil and egg called for on brownie mix box

1 bag (6 oz) semisweet chocolate chips (1 cup)

3/4 cup whipping cream

3 tablespoons red raspberry jelly

1 cup Betty Crocker® Rich & Creamy cream cheese frosting (from 16 oz container)

1 1/2 teaspoons whipping cream

Fresh raspberries, if desired

1. Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan). Grease bottom only of 8-inch or 9-inch square pan with cooking spray or shortening. (For easier cutting, line pan with foil, then grease foil on bottom only of pan). Make brownies as directed on box. Cool completely, about 1 1/2 hours.
2. Reserve 2 tablespoons chocolate chips for drizzle. In medium microwavable bowl, place remaining chocolate chips, 3/4 cup whipping cream and 3 tablespoons raspberry jelly. Microwave uncovered on High 2 to 3 minutes, stirring once every minute, until chocolate is melted. Stir until mixture is smooth (there may still be a little undissolved jelly). Refrigerate about 30 minutes or until slightly thickened.
3. Add frosting to chocolate mixture. Beat with electric mixer on high speed 1 to 2 minutes or until well blended and fluffy. Spread over cooled brownies, smoothing top.
4. In small microwavable bowl, microwave reserved 2 tablespoons chocolate chips and 1 1/2 teaspoons whipping cream uncovered on High 30 to 45 seconds, stirring once, until mixture can be stirred smooth. Stir in a few additional drops of whipping cream to thin chocolate, if necessary. Drizzle over frosting mixture. Refrigerate 1 to 2 hours or until set.
5. Cut into 9 squares; cut each square diagonally in half to make triangles. Garnish with raspberries.

Makes 18 servings

OK you fed them for Thanksgiving, but some of those pesky guest stayed the night. What do you do about feeding them the following morning when you are already dead tired and wrung out from what seems like an entire week chained to the strove preparing the meal they demolished in an hour yesterday?

Well me personally I leave the Gate Code, a map with 4 take away breakfast stops marked, any applicable coupons I might have, my order recommendations for each spot. directions on how to start the preloaded coffee maker and instructions to knock on my bedroom door when they get back with breakfast so I can unchain the fridge and allow them access to the milk & sugar.

Not an option in your case? Relatives too cheap to spring for breakfast eh? OK! OK ALREADY! Here’s something you can prepare the night before and slide right into a cold oven after hitting ‘Brew’ on the coffee pot.

“Berry Good” French Toast Bake

Easy does it! You can make this blueberry munch the night before you serve breakfast or brunch.

Prep Time 15 Minutes

Total Time 40 Minutes

Makes 8 Servings

1/2 cup Gold Medal® all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups milk

1 tablespoon sugar

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon salt

6 eggs

10 slices French bread, 1 inch thick, cut into 1-inch cubes

1 package (3 ounces) cream cheese, cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1 cup fresh or frozen (thawed) blueberries

1/2 cup chopped nuts

Powdered sugar, if desired

Blueberry or maple syrup, if desired

1. Generously grease 2 1/2-quart casserole or rectangular baking dish, 13x9x2 inches. Beat flour, milk, sugar, vanilla, salt and eggs in large bowl with hand beater until smooth. Stir in bread cubes until coated.
2. Pour bread mixture into casserole. Top evenly with cream cheese, blueberries and nuts. Cover and refrigerate at least 1 hour but no longer than 24 hours.
3. Heat oven to 400°F. Uncover and bake 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Serve with syrup.

Makes 8 servings

What about leftovers you say? Well here is a starting point for a tasty leftover dish and most cooks should be able to adapt easily enough to using already cooked turkey.

Turkey Rotini Casserole

Come home to an Italian dinner. Enjoy turkey and rotini pasta – a hearty casserole!

Prep Time 10 Minutes

Total Time 8:40 Hrs:Mins

Makes  4 servings

1 cup reduced-sodium chicken broth

1/2 cup water

1 small stalk celery

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves

1 dried bay leaf

2 turkey thighs (about 1 1/2 pounds)

1 envelope (1 1/4 ounces) Alfredo sauce mix

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed 98% fat-free cream of mushroom soup

1 package (9 ounces) frozen chopped broccoli, thawed and drained

8 ounces uncooked rotini pasta

1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1. Pour broth and water into 3 1/2- to 4-quart slow cooker. Add celery, thyme and bay leaf. Top with turkey.
2. Cover and cook on low heat setting 6 to 8 hours or until turkey is tender. Remove turkey, celery and bay leaf; discard celery and bay leaf.
3. Increase heat to high setting. Mix sauce mix (dry) and soup; stir into slow cooker. Stir in broccoli. Cover and cook about 30 minutes or until thickened.
4. Cook pasta as directed on package. While pasta is cooking, remove turkey meat from bones and cut into pieces; discard bones.
5. Return turkey to slow cooker. Stir in pasta and cheese.

Makes 4 servings

Substitution

Other shapes of similarly sized pasta also can be used in this casserole. Wagon wheels, mafalda (mini lasagna noodles) and penne will work well, too.

Nutrition Information:

1 Serving (1 Serving)

Calories 590 Calories from Fat 145), Total Fat 16g (Saturated Fat 6g,), Cholesterol 170mg; Sodium 1430mg;

Total Carbohydrate 57g, Dietary Fiber 4g, Protein 58g;

Exchanges: 3 Starch;  2 Vegetable; 6 Lean Meat

 

How many calories are in your Thanksgiving dinner?

Published On: Oct 04 2011 10:33:55 AM CDT Updated On: Nov 19 2012 01:00:27 AM CST

The holidays are a time to indulge. But how many calories are you really consuming during those get-togethers? Calculate the caloric impact of your Dinner plate by selecting items and serving sizes on the charts and total your intake…if you dare!

http://www.click2houston.com/entertainment/holidays/-/16003910/1754084/-/kj5ohnz/-/index.html?treets=hou&tid=2659926414813&tml=hou_12pm&tmi=hou_12pm_1_12000111192012&ts=H

Upside-down Land

[The American Flag flown upside down is a sign of distress. I submit our entire country is in distress & Federal Government, the ENTIRE Federal Government is the cause]

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

You can get arrested for expired tags on your car but not for being in the country illegally.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more of our money.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

The Supreme Court of the United States can rule that lower courts cannot display the 10 Commandments in their courtroom, while sitting in front of a display of the 10 Commandments.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Children are forcibly removed from parents who appropriately discipline them while children of “underprivileged” drug addicts are left to rot in filth infested cesspools.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Working class Americans pay for their own health care (and the health care of everyone else) while unmarried women are free to have child after child on the “State’s” dime while never being held responsible for their own choices.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Hard work and success are rewarded with higher taxes and government intrusion, while slothful, lazy behavior is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid and subsidized housing.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

The government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide 99 weeks of unemployment checks (to not work).

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Politicians think that stripping away the amendments to the constitution is really protecting the rights of the people.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if. ..

The rights of the Government come before the rights of the individual.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Parents believe the State is responsible for providing for their children.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

You pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your neighbor defaults on his mortgage (while buying iphones, TV’s and new cars) and the government forgives his debt and reduces his mortgage (with your tax dollars).

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

Being stripped of the ability to defend yourself makes you “safe”.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

You have to have your parents signature to go on a school field trip but not to get an abortion.

======================

You know you live in an Upside-down Land if…

An 80 year old woman can be stripped searched by the TSA but a Muslim woman in a burqa is only subject to having her neck and head searched.

 

 

After the last of the ‘just another sliver of pumpkin pie is safely chewed and washed down, after the dishes have been cleared and the belts have been loosened the men folk will adjourn to couches sofas loungers and bean bags for watch football through a tryptophan induced near coma while the women carefully dissect the sales ads for Black Friday and plot shopping strategy.

Here are a few only preview sites at which to see those ads. some even have Pre Black Friday Sales.

Black Friday 2012 – Black Friday Ads and the best Black Friday Deals

See all the Ads for Black Friday 2012 with all the best Black Friday deals plus year round savings at 1000s of your favorite stores. Visit now to start saving

Black Friday Ads – The Official Black Friday 2012 Website for Black …

Black Friday Ads is home to Black Friday 2012, featuring Black Friday ad listings and ad scans, hot deals and coupons.

Black Friday 2012 – Black Friday Ads, Black Friday Deals & Sales

Complete Coverage of Black Friday 2012 Ads, Black Friday Sales & Black Friday Deals.

Black Friday Deals | Black Friday Sales – Amazon.com

Black Friday deals, low prices, and sales on toys, electronics, video games, jewelry, and more. Check out Black Friday 2012 deals and savings online.

Where will you do the majority of your Cyber Monday shopping?

33% E-commerce sites like Amazon.com
17% Retail sites like Gap.com
0% Auction sites like eBay.com
50% I won’t be shopping on Cyber Monday

Which of these do you believe has the most influence on what you buy, where you eat, or the movies or TV shows you watch?

62% Ads I see on television
10% Ads I see on the Internet
28% Comments or recommendations I see on social media

Given the current state of the economy, is now a good or bad time to make a major purchase like a new car or home improvements?

26% About average
17% A good time
57% A bad time

Do you consider the current economy to be strong, about average, or weak?

14% About average
0% Strong
86% Weak

Do you think health insurance plans for all employees should have to cover the full cost of birth control for their female employees, or should employers be allowed to opt out of covering that based on religious or moral objections?

31% Cover the full cost
69% Allowed to opt out

Which of the following is your favorite Thanksgiving dessert?

40% Apple pie
60% Pumpkin pie
0% Sweet potato pie
0% Pumpkin roll
0% Pecan pie

Are you planning to travel more than 100 miles from home over the Thanksgiving Holiday?

0% Yes, by plane
9% Yes, by car
0% Yes, by train
0% Yes, by bus
91% No, I’ll stay home

How many languages do you speak fluently?

74% One
23% Two
3% Three or more

How would you describe yourself?

11% Risk loving
67% Risk neutral
22% Risk averse

How likely are you to shop on Cyber Monday?

8% Very likely
8% Somewhat likely
84% Not at all likely

Do you believe that the personal computer will take a backseat to mobile devices and tablets over the next 10 years?

54% Yes
21% No
25% I’m not sure

Jeep gets stuck trying to drive over U.S.-Mexico border fence

(CNN) — Tunnels under the U.S.-Mexico border are nothing new, but authorities spotted two smugglers taking a different approach this week: driving a Jeep over the 14-foot fence dividing the two countries.

But the makeshift ramp the suspects propped up at the border near Yuma, Arizona, didn’t work, officials said.

U.S. Border Patrol agents patrolling the area saw the Jeep get stuck. It was left wedged atop the fence, and its drivers fled into Mexico, the patrol said in a statement. It was not immediately clear what the vehicle may have been carrying.

“Suspects attempting to drive a vehicle over the border fence fell prey to their own devices,” the statement said.

Border Patrol agents confiscated the vehicle and the makeshift ramp.

 

Saturday Impish raised the specter of the possible disappearance of Twinkies from our sugar rush menu of poor snack choices. Now I know there are other things like Wonder Bread that will also be disappearing but Twinkies seem to be garnering the most concern as well as the largest buying rush. Impish has had me deplete his cash reserves buying him a hermitically sealed storage vault and  several trailer loads of Twinkies under the assumption that they will become worth their weight in gold as scarcely a month away post Apocalyptic survival rations.

Twinkies Will Be Saved

Analysts think the brand is too valuable to disappear

 

(Newser) – Day one of the post-Twinkie apocalypse brings news of stores selling out, prices soaring on eBay, and people waxing nostalgic all over Facebook, reports ABC News. Which is precisely why Twinkies aren’t going away, writes Dan Primack at Fortune. The “brand still has value, and will be acquired.” Ditto for Ding Dongs and probably Wonder Bread. They may not be made by Hostess, but they will be made.

Primack thinks it’s most likely that another bakery will buy Twinkies, and in a post at NBC News headlined “Relax, Twinkies likely to live on,” Martha C. White notes that the makers of Entenmann’s, Tastykake, or Little Debbie products are prime contenders. At Forbes, Robert W. Wood sure hopes so. He rounds up some of Twinkies’ bigger cultural milestones (remember the “Twinkies defense”?) and concludes with this: “Twinkies matter.”

Besides, Colorado and Washington just legalized marijuana. If Hostess can’t figure out a way to make money off of that, then maybe they shouldn’t be in the snack cake industry after all.

Who knows…maybe I’ll buy the brand and force those Keebler elves to make them for you. They DO sort of resemble gold bars, a favorite possession of mine and would put quite a bit o’ the gold in me pot if I did.

 

OK Folks, fun time is nearly over. I’ve got stuffing to prepare, a turkey to cook, sweet potatoes to peel and ready for roasting, green beans to tip, garlic to slice, rosemary to chop AND A CERTAIN DRAGON TO CAPE AND MOUNT IF HE TRIES TO SNEAK SO MUCH AS A SINGLE SOLITARY FLAKE OF PIE CRUST JUST ONE MORE TIME!

Ahem! Where was I? Oh! As I was saying….SIGH excuse me a second. <slides a beaver trap across counter quietly towards a clawed blue scaled paw questing across the counter top…SNAP! (clawed blue scaled paw retreats rapidly with a whimper and a clanking of trap chain)>

OK now as I was saying, before I closed out the issue and turn you all loose for the holiday with your loved ones, on behalf of myself, Lethal Leprechaun & Impish (now known as ‘Lefty’) Dragon as well as the entire Staff here at DL & LL  Digital Media Enterprises, I’d like to wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving. We’d also caution you on your feasting (eat and drink tomorrow- but only to excess) and ask that if you are traveling for the holiday you do so cautiously and safely so that you can return to us. See one of the thing that both Impish and I agree we are thankful for is our loyal readers because without you all this would be pointless.

Here are a few other things I’m thankful for for you to ponder upon as you count your many blessings this holiday season.

10 Things I’m Thankful For This Thanksgiving

 

1) Family
I would be nowhere without my family. There’s my mom, who forwards me about 12 emails a day to clean up for her to forward so she can then forward them on. My sister who calls me in a panic whenever a program insists on updating on her computer. My nephew who’s love for his only uncle peeks and wanes with the proximity of gift giving occasions, but never fails to make me proud to be his uncle or smile when I do get to talk to him. My wife who is a rare gems and more than an even match for me wit and smarts wise. She has knocked numerous of my rough edges off me in the time we have been together and is still working on grinding down some others…all with love and (at times a great deal of) phenomenal patience with a transplanted Yankee living in a strange land.

2) Health
As someone who has been afraid of healthcare facilities since 3 one hour each session getting skin prick tests for allergies at 3 years old, any year that goes by without a trip to an Immediate Care Facility or Hospital is a good one. Though  I have a few health more or less permanent problems, living largely sickness-free is one of the things I feel most lucky about. Major kudos to those who have stayed strong through a personal or family illness.

3) Friends
Who else can you count on to stay in Murphy’s Irish Pub with you doing nothing until 2 a.m.? To allow you to vent when depressed or angry and convenience things will never get better? To never tell anyone about that one time you fell flat on your your face walking from the passenger door to the back of your SUV nearly knocking yourself out cold in the process? It’s hard to imagine what it would be like without them. Be thankful for the big and small things they’ll do for you, the lengths they’ll go to to make sure they have your back.

4) Food
Although it’s sometimes hard to be thankful for that fifth piece of double anchovy & garlic pizza you wish you hadn’t eaten, we take it for granted that we have food whenever we want it. Things I might never be able to do: enjoy Okra, understand why coffee costs $6 at Starbucks, or look forward with mouth watering anticipation to a trip to a Mexican Restaurant. But what I know I’ll always be grateful for is being able to meet this basic human need.

5) The Internet
Thank you, Internet, for allowing me to procrastinate, watch 30 consecutive minutes of “West Wing” bloopers, have access to all zillion seasons of “Star Trek” in all its manifestations, look up things on Wikipedia that are probably completely wrong, see a dog try to bounce on a trampoline (look it up — cutest thing ever), laugh gleefully at Justin Bieber throwing up on stage and be judged for how much time I spend on bashing Obama. Without you, my backside would probably be a lot smaller, but I’d be much less amused.

6) Cell phone
My friends and wife often tease me that the blue tooth headset to my cell phone is practically replaced one of my ears. In truth it is the second thing I reach for upon sitting up in the morning (eye glasses being the first). Having something to simultaneously keep me in contact with all my friends and family, entertain me and help me avoid awkward eye contact with strangers is a blessing. Where better to find out my friends’ political prowess than through looking at 12 Instagrams of an “I Voted” sticker? Also, you can’t deny that there is nothing better than a marathon phone call with a close friend or family member. Sometimes that’s all you need to brighten up a day.

7) Tylenol
I might go as far to call this tiny miracle drug the best thing that has ever happened to me. It might be singularly responsible for my ability to walk some days. Drop a dumbbell on your toe in the middle of a crowded gym? It probably won’t save your embarrassment — it won’t, trust me — but at least your toe will feel better. And while I’ll never be a doctor, it gives me a lot of satisfaction to know that most of them give out this advice same as me: Just take a few Tylenol, you’ll be fine!

8) Sleep
There is nothing quite like the feeling of your head hitting the pillow after a long day of blog preparing, work or meetings. A good night’s sleep or a well-timed power nap seem to be the cure-all for everything, whether it’s stress or that headache that won’t go away. Because we choose to do so many other things when we should be sleeping — see number five, Internet — what little sleep we do get goes a long way. Use  that post Thanksgiving drowsiness to do a little catching up.

9) Music
My wife is usually thankful I play it loud enough to drown out my awful singing. I’m thankful I play it loud enough to drown out my wife & the cats complaining about my awful singing. Nothing brings people together like a mutual fondness for a band you’d thought that no one else had ever heard of. Music is an instant connection, a conversation starter, a party starter and, if you’re lucky, a productivity starter. All of it that is except Rap music. As I have stated before it is no accident you cannot spell ‘crap’ w/o Rap.

10) America
I am truly thankful for all the freedom and opportunity living in this country brings. As messed up and problem fraught as it and our Democratic process might be, it is still hands down the best country in the world to be a citizen of.  Though it’s hard to imagine how a single person can affect the outcome of something as large as a presidential election, the fact that we are all entitled to our own opinions and are able to put them to use is a pretty special thing. We can worship as we choose, move about internally freely, get a fair  and speed trial, read uncensored (regrettably I cannot say un spin doctored) news, demand accountability from our elected officials- all without fear of oppression or reprisals. Very few others in the world  can lay claim to all those things and then still certainly not to the degree we can. I’m not only proud to be an American, I’m thankful for it.

 

Good morning my dear friends.  We have a lot of special things going on today, so lets jump in to it.  I believe it’s high time we take a hard look at how we vote in this country.  After this last election, we are embroiled, yet again, with irregularities, voter fraud, Florida STILL can’t decide who won and recounts are finding SIGNIFICANT differences in what was reported and what the recount is finding.  The Electoral College may have had a place in our history, but it certainly doesn’t have a need with today’s technology available.  Isn’t the will of the people more indicative from the “popular vote” rather than the electoral college?  We also need to come up with some way of insuring that there is one vote for one person, period.  I know that we don’t want a national I.D. so what sort of other things could we do to insure that it’s impossible to cheat?  Finger prints?  National data base, retina scan?  I’m SURE there is a way.  And we need to find it.

Okay, enough of that for now, let’s laugh for a little bit.

121107 jn 

This is a true story. It happened exactly as described.

It was around noon on election day, November 6, 2012. I was sitting in McDonalds. A group of old retired men were enthusiastically talking about the election… saying nothing of note, but with much ignorance and stupidity. I stayed out of it. An employee of McDonalds was clearing a nearby table and quietly said to me, “This has been going on all day… I can’t wait for this election to be over.”

A couple was waiting in line. They were a typical, mid-forties, white, middle class couple. They were listening to the old guys discussing the election and the state of the union in general.

One of the retired guys said something negative about “Obama-Care” and the middle-class white guy in line turned to him suddenly and said, “Oh yeah, well I’ll have you know that if it wasn’t for Obama’s healthcare plan, I wouldn’t have any health insurance right now.”

This silenced the old guys. He continued, appearing to speak to the room in general, “Obama made it possible for me to cut the cost of my insurance by over 80%, so I voted for him again.”

The entire room was silent. Nobody said a word. Before I knew what I was doing, I heard myself addressing him.

“You actually sound like you’re proud of that”, I said.

“You’re damn right I am,” he replied indignantly.

“In other words, you’re proud of the fact that instead of paying for your health insurance yourself, you and Obama have ganged up on ME and have forced me, at the point of a gun, to pay for part of your health insurance. You’re actually PROUD of the fact that you are mooching off of me and all those people working behind the counter in McDonald’s… that you’re part of a gang that is using the power of the government to FORCE us to pay for your healthcare. Instead of feeling ashamed… instead of bowing your head and cowering in front of all the people you are depending on to pay for your healthcare insurance… instead of meekly thanking them for the sacrifices they are being forced to make in order to benefit YOU… instead, you stand there claiming that you’re PROUD! What do you have to be PROUD of? Are you proud of the fact that you’re unable or unwilling to take care of yourself? Are you proud of the fact that you’re stealing part of their wages for your own personal greed? No… shame is what you should feel. Disgrace… embarassment… and gratitude… along with a strong dose of remorse… because YOU can’t or won’t take care of yourself and so you joined a mob of others who can’t or won’t take care of themselves… and together you’ve figured out how to force US to take care of you. Shame on you.”

Nobody said a word. The guy was stunned and his wife stood there mortified. The room was absolutely silent for a moment, then one of the retired guys started clapping… and within a few seconds, he was joined by another… then by someone across the restaurant… and pretty soon it sounded like the entire restaurant was applauding.

I had delivered my little sermon while still seated at my table. I remained seated and looked down at my meal… angry at myself for having lost my temper and butting in rather than minding my own damn business.

Within a minute or so, the room quieted down again and everyone went about their business, pretending nothing had happenned.

Then I heard the guy quietly say to the McDonald’s counter person, “Can I change my order… I’d like that, to-go please.”

What the hell is going on?  As you read through this next article, keep in mind that the listing at the bottom includes ALL 50 States!!!

Secession Movement Sweeps All 50 States

I’m really curious to know what all the rest of you think about this.  Also, there are several petitions going around that say that anyone who has signed one of the petitions asking to secede should be deported.  How does that make you feel?  Write to us and let us know.  You can make comments to the blog (see the bottom of the issue) or write to us both at dragonlaffs-owner@yahoogroups.com or to me at impishdragon@yahoo.com . Please let us know what you’re thinking.

This one falls under two categories actually…..our Way Cool Websites To Visit and….

And even better than all that, it actually comes from the great and all powerful Kim Komando!  This is what she has to say about: http://www.jigzone.com/puzzles/

Most fun computer games are action-packed, flashy and challenging. But sometimes, it’s fun to play an old-fashioned game with a new twist.

JigZone is an online jigsaw puzzle site with a new puzzle posted each day. Choose the number of pieces your puzzle will have, and it will time you and compare your time to the national average.

Once you’re done with that one, there are dozens more to choose from. There are several categories including animals, art, sports, nature scenes and travel, just to name a few. You can even add a photo from your personal collection if you become a member of the site!

You can also share completed puzzles with your social networks and embed puzzles in your blog. Or send a puzzle postcard to a friend with your own personal message.

jigzone.com/puzzles

I wasted spent too much time yesterday morning visiting this site.  It’s a lot of fun.  Truly.  LOL.

Here’s my new bumper sticker…I put this on the car and the very next day I had a big black X in permanent marker on the front door of my house.  Do you think someone noticed something?  Should I be worried? 

Lethal Leprechaun accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn.  The manager of the club nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the green man, “Hey Lethal, don’t worry about that wagon, come in and visit with us.  I’ll help you get the wagon up later.”
”That’s mighty nice of you,” Lethal answered, “but I don’t think Impish would like me to.”
”Aww come on, Lethal.  We’ve got cold pints and hot girls.” The manager insisted.
”Well, okay,” LL finally agreed, but added, “Impish is really not going to like it.”
After a couple of cold pints and some hot lap dances, Lethal thanked the manager.  “I feel a lot better now, but I just know old Impish Dragon is going to be really upset.”
”Don’t be foolish!” the manager said with a smile.  “By the way, where is Impish Dragon?  It’s not like him to miss a good party.”
”Oh,” said the Leprechaun, “He’s under the wagon.”

I’ve tried, several times in fact, to come up with some light-hearted news events or some other stories that might bring a smile to your faces for this weekend, and you know what?
I failed…
miserably.
This is a horrible time in our history right now.  The poor people on the east coast will spend weeks, months, possibly years, just trying to return to some sort of normalcy.
Gen Petraeus, the current poster child for scape goats everywhere, is being drug through the mud over an affair when he should be allowed to speak freely over the damn Bengazi bullshit.
Now, on top of all that, 185,000 people across the country are out of work because the Hostess company has been forced to liquidate.  I’m not going to get into whether it was the union’s fault or the workers or whoever, but damn it all to hell, we can’t live in a world without Twinkies!  We went out at lunch on Friday and grabbed one of the last remaining boxes off the shelves at our local Kroger.  Actually, me and a sweet little gray haired old lady both grabbed for it at the same time.  All of you know what a chivalrous gentleman I am.  I am the epitome of politeness.  I helped her back up off the floor when she “accidently” tripped over my tail.  (Bitch wasn’t gettin’ MY Twinkies!)
Although we did commemorate them…

It was also a pretty good week for the littlest dragonette.  She got to have her picture taken with two of the Colts Cheerleaders.

I had to do a little bit of photoshopping on the picture in order to hide her tail, wings, and horns.  But as Lethal pointed out, even with the red-eye removal tool, her evil red eyes show through if you look close enough.  By the way, my little dragonette is the one in the middle.  A cheerleader for her elementary school.

Wow!  Holy crap and wow! You’ve simply got to read this guys blog.  This entry is called: “There I go, offending people again.” http://larrycorreia.wordpress.com/2012/11/11/there-i-go-offending-people-again/ by Larry Correia and he hit the nail on the head dead on!  I’m gonna  have to check and see  if I’ve got any of his books in my library.
Nope, but I guess I’ll put the feelers out and see if I can track some down.

well, folks, that’s all for me this week.  May you all be blessed with laughter and smiles until we meet again.
Cheers!
Impish Dragon

What? Huh? Odin? HEY! It really works! Oh, it’s just YOU guys. <sigh>

Sorry, you caught me in the middle of ‘ trodding the ancient paths & honoring the uld ways’.

What with Ragnarok (or Gotterdammerung if you prefer), the Apocalypse, the End of the Mayan Calendar, increased seismic activity harbingering the reset of the Earth’s Magnetic Poles, the looming Vindication of Nostradamus due to Iranian Nuclear capabilities, Global Warming drowning us all &/or causing Super Storms of the Century to demolish our cities and infrastructure, and now on top of that 4 more years of the Kenyan Muslim’s ‘Big Brother’s Democratically Redistributed Wealth & Healthcare’ Socialism of late I’ve felt the need to hedge my bets as many ways as I possibly can in preparation for life in the aftermath…or afterworld.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have about 15 more burnt offerings to make before the moon sets here! Mean while you guys go do the coffee sipping blog reading thing.

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”

She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.

My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.

I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.

He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.

Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too.

Then he told me not to do it again.

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken.

She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal’s office.

He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.

I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”

Guess where I am now…

I’m writing an erotic novel about a wealthy, suburban hipster who meets a young cashier at a Banana Republic and expands her worldview, and his wardrobe. I’m calling it “50 Shades of Khaki”.

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover.
However, based on the cover alone, you can judge if
it’s a romance novel pretty much 100% of the time.

Even some of Obama’s own people are starting to cry BULLSHIT! on his bullshit.

Allen West Dresses Down Obama’s “Voting is the Best Revenge” Remark

November 4, 2012 | Filed under: Florida Review | Posted by: Javier Manjarres

In the final weekend before Tuesday’s General Election, Congressman Allen West gave a dressing down to President Barack Obama’s recent remark that “voting is the best revenge” during a GOP Victory rally event in Palm Beach County.

This not about revenge, this is about a different word that starts with an ”R” and that is about “restore.” And it’s about restoring another word that starts with an “R” and that’s our Republic.” – Allen West

West also pointed out the glaring questions that the media refused to ask during the 2008 presidential campaign and Obama’s rise to power-

“No one asked what ‘fundamentally transform’ meant. No one asked what ‘hope and change’ meant. No one asked what ‘change we can believe in’ meant. But now we know what that means today.”

Obama’s campaign slogans were nothing more than a cover for his real intentions- the bankruptcy of the United States and the creation of a European-style “dependency society.”

West also compared the September 11th Benghazi consulate attack with ‘Black Hawk Down’ incident in Mogadishu, Somalia, reminding those in attendance that both incidents were unfortunate instances of leadership failure, as backup assistance was requested in both cases but was ultimately denied.

I will never leave my comrade brother behind, unfortunately we have someone in the White House that doesn’t believe in that. – Allen West

Allen West’s Fourth Quarter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yXtA_cMSJ0E

If Obama was White He Wouldn’t Be President

If Obama was White He Wouldn’t Be President, Obama is not qualified to be President, Did They do a background check, if Barrack Were White they would destroy him, He is the Commander and Chief, Liberalism is a Mental Disorder, You Can’t Fix Stupid, They have over compensated, Get over your ancestors may have owned slaves. Whateverhappentocomm

What a Google Search for Zombie Apocalypse SHOULD Return

Barb’s granddaughter was in kindergarten. There was a boy in her class that wasn’t listening to the teacher.
The teacher said to him, “Since you don’t want to listen, you sit at that table by yourself.”
After a few minutes, Barb’s granddaughter raised her hand and said, “I don’t want to listen either.
Can I sit with him?”

As I have said previously, its getting to my favorite time of the year, the cooler weather has started the leaves have turned seasonal veggies like winter squash, pumpkins etc are available and the holidays are around the corner.

Aside from this time of the year giving me access to some of my favorite seasonal veggies, I like to cook and show my appreciation for family and friend by making them things that make them Ooo, Ahhh and roll their eyes before letting their belts out another notch and asking for more.

Unfortunately none of is getting any younger, healthier and in Impish’s case skinnier. [It’s getting harder and harder to find busses with enough ground clearance to run him over with! Shortly I’m going to have to switch to monster truck to avoid getting hung up on his backside!]

So after taking all this into consideration I ahve started looking for reduced fact sugar and calorie recipes that do not reduce the Ooos, Ahhs and Eye Rolls of delight for this holiday season.

Marbled Banana Bread

Save your ripe bananas for this chocolaty cake. Melted chocolate swirled into the batter gives you chocolate in every bite.

Ingredients

• Nonstick cooking spray
• 3/4 cup all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting the pan
• 2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 medium very ripe bananas
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 2 large eggs
• 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 cup buttermilk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly mist a 9-by-5-inch metal loaf pan with nonstick cooking spray and dust well with all-purpose flour to cover the pan completely, tapping out the excess.

Put the chocolate in a medium microwave-safe bowl and microwave on high in 30-second intervals, stirring, until melted and smooth, 1 minute to 1 minute 30 seconds. Set aside to cool slightly while preparing the batter.

Combine the bananas and sugar in a large bowl and mash with a potato masher or fork until mostly smooth with just a few small pieces of banana left. Add the oil and eggs and stir until combined. Using a wooden spoon or rubber spatula, mix in both flours, the baking powder, baking soda and salt. Stir in the buttermilk and vanilla.

Stir 1 cup batter into the melted chocolate. Fill the loaf pan with half the banana batter and then half the chocolate batter. Repeat the layers and gently swirl together using a spoon or knife. Bake until golden brown on top and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 45 minutes.

Cool in the pan 15 minutes, and then turn out onto a wire rack to cool completely. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Cook’s Note: To prepare your loaf pan for baking, you can also use a nonstick spray with flour already in it. Flouring the pan helps the bread rise well and prevents any collapse after it comes out of the oven.

Calories: 203; Total Fat 8 grams; Saturated Fat: 2 grams; Protein: 4 grams; Total carbohydrates: 31 grams; Sugar: 16 grams Fiber: 2 grams; Cholesterol: 32 milligrams; Sodium: 212 milligrams

Mascarpone Mini Cupcakes with Strawberry Glaze

Mascarpone cheese adds creaminess to white cake mix for shortcut cupcakes topped with a deceptively simple strawberry glaze.

Ingredients

• 8 ounces mascarpone cheese (about 1 cup), softened
• 2 egg whites
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1 box white cake mix
• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup frozen strawberries, thawed and drained
• 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar

Directions

Special equipment: 4 mini muffin tins and 48 mini muffin paper cupcake liners

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line the mini tins with paper liners.

In a large bowl combine the mascarpone cheese, egg whites and vegetable oil. Using a hand mixer, beat the ingredients until combined and creamy. Add the cake mix and water and mix until smooth, about 3 minutes. Fill the mini cups to just below the rim and bake until puffed and golden, about 18 to 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, let cool slightly in the tin then transfer the cupcakes to a wire rack.

Meanwhile, puree the strawberries in a blender or small food processor. Place the powdered sugar in a medium bowl. Pour in the strawberry puree and whisk until smooth. Top the cooled cupcakes with the strawberry glaze. Let the cupcakes sit for a few minutes for the glaze to firm up, then serve.

Per piece (48): Calories: 102; Total Fat: 4.5 grams; Saturated Fat:1.5 grams; Protein:1 gram; Total carbohydrates: 15 grams; Sugar: 12 grams; Fiber: 0 grams; Cholesterol: 6 milligrams; Sodium: 77 milligrams

Pumpkin Brulee Cheesecake

Canned pumpkin and pumpkin pie spice give this cheesecake its flavor and reduced-fat cream cheese and Greek yogurt ensure that it has all the creaminess of a traditional cheesecake with a fraction of the fat.

Ingredients

• 8 sheets honey graham crackers
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted
• 12-ounces 1/3rd less fat cream cheese, at room temperature
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1/3 cup plus 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 2/3 cup low-fat (2%) Greek style plain yogurt
• 2 large eggs, at room temperature
• 2 large egg whites, at room temperature
• 1 15-ounce can pumpkin puree
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract

Directions

Position the oven racks in center and lower third of your oven. Fill a roasting pan about half full of water and place on the lower rack. This will create a moist environment for the cheesecake and help prevent cracking. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F.

Coat a 9-inch springform pan with nonstick cooking spray. Put the graham crackers and 1 tablespoon of granulated sugar in the bowl of a food processor and grind until fine. Add the butter and two tablespoons of water and pulse until moistened. Press into the bottom of the prepared springform pan. Bake until set and golden brown, about 10 minutes. Cool completely.

Combine the cream cheese, brown sugar, 1/3 cup granulated sugar and salt in a large bowl. Beat, with an electric mixer on medium speed, until smooth and fluffy. Add the yogurt, egg and egg whites, reduce the mixer speed to low, and continue to beat until blended. Add the pumpkin, flour, vanilla and pumpkin pie spice. Reduce the mixer speed to low and beat until just combined. Stir with a spatula a few times to make sure all the ingredients are incorporated and to release any air bubbles in the batter that could cause the cheesecake to crack.

Pour the batter over the crust and rap the pan against the countertop a few times to bring any trapped air bubbles to the surface. Place the cheesecake on the center rack in the oven. Bake until just set and the center wiggles slightly, about 1 hour to 1 hour and 10 minutes. Turn the oven off and crack the door open. Let sit in the oven for 15 minutes and then transfer to a wire rack to cool. Run a thin sharp knife between the cheesecake and then pan to release the sides. Cool completely and then chill until cold, at least 4 hours, or overnight.

Before serving, remove the cheesecake from the refrigerator and release the sides of the pan. Sprinkle the remaining 2 tablespoons sugar over the top of the cheesecake and brulee the sugar with a kitchen torch or under the broiler for a few seconds.

Notes

You can brulee the cheesecake up to about 1 hour before serving, but any longer than that and the sugar will become soft.

How Victoria’s Secret Saved the National Guard During Hurricane Sandy

• By Noah Shachtman November 2, 2012 | 2:33 pm

A little late in getting around but none the less a story and a company that should be recognized for their contribution and not one that you would think of when it comes to relief efforts!

But first:

Gratuitous Victoria Secrets Runway Models Working It Video!

On Monday night, Hurricane Sandy hit the armory of the New York Army National Guard’s 69th Infantry Regiment, leaving the soldiers without power, hot water, or anything but the most rudimentary means of communicating with the outside world. So the next morning, the Regiment’s officers made an emergency plea — to the producers of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

As they had done for the last three years running, the lingerie company was holding its annual television event at the Regiment’s historic armory, located at 25th street and Lexington Avenue in Manhattan. For the show, the producers had hauled in eight massive 500 kilowatt generators. Of course, the producers said, we’d be happy to help. Hours later, the lights flashed back on.

“We were dead in the water until Victoria’s Secret showed up,” says Capt. Brendan Gendron, the Regiment’s operations officer.

It’s one of many unexpected turns the New York Army National Guard has been forced to take as it copes with the chaotic aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. On Tuesday afternoon, the Guard was about to ship 450 soldiers to Missouri for a mock disaster drill. Now, not only are those troops staying in-state, but the New York Guard is getting ready to accept nearly 1,000 additional soldiers from the Ohio, Massachusetts, and other states.

And there’s a new worry looming. About 350 soldiers from all around New York State have joined the 69th, and are currently sleeping in the Lexington Avenue armory. But by early next week, a good chunk of those troops have to find a new place to rest. (Depending on who you talk to, that may or may not have something to do with the impending show Victoria’s Secret is about to put on.) In either case, the officers haven’t yet found a decent replacement.

A soldier from the New York Army National Guard borrows a forklift from the producers of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. Photo: Noah Shachtman

The initial call to the Victoria’s Secret crew came at about 7:20 on Tuesday morning. Consulting producer Dave Shapiro and his co-workers were staying a block away at the Hotel Giraffe. They came over, and ran some feeder lines from the Aggreko generators through a transformer and into the building. Some basic lights in the hallways and the basement’s hot water heater were back up and running. It was enough to get started.

Then one of the associate producers suggested they might be able to power the whole armory up. They went into the basement and found the main switch connecting the century-old landmark to the lines of Con Edison, the local utility. The idea was to shut down the connection between Con Ed, then attach the Victoria Secret lines during to the armory’s busbar — the long metal strips that conduct electricity to a switchboard. It was a kludge, and it had to be done right: the producers didn’t want to fry the building when the local Con Ed substation finally started generating electricity again. “I have to admit, I was very skeptical,” Shapiro says.

But it worked. By 7 p.m on Tuesday night, the armory was fully powered; even the elevators worked.

The soldiers were still having communications problems, though. Many of the local cell towers were down, and so was the armory’s internet’s connection. Luckily, Shapiro had answer for that, too. For the show, he had leased a T1 line connected to a microwave dish on the roof. “We plopped two routers in their command center,” he says, “and now they’re sitting on our internet backbone.”

The troops also needed help distributing food. The Federal Emergency Management Agency had begun bringing tractor-trailers’ worth of emergency provisions to the armory. It was up to the troops to break up the pallets, load them in military trucks, and bring them to the seven distribution centers in Manhattan where the Salvation Army would hand out meals to Hurricane victims. One problem: the 69th didn’t have a fork lift. So again, they turned to the Victoria’s Secret crew.

Meanwhile, the New York Army National Guardsmen have been plenty busy helping others. They assisted in the evacuation of Bellevue Hospital, bringing patients during 13 flights of stairs in the dark. Now, only a single patient remains — someone who required heart surgery, and was too frail to be moved. So two shifts of 30 troops are hauling diesel fuel up to the 13th floor, where the hospital’s generator is located, in order to keep the power running while this one patient recovers from the surgery.

Across Manhattan, soldiers are lugging 120-pound packs of batteries up to rooftops so that cell towers can be temporarily switched on. At Floyd Bennett Field, there’s an even bigger food distribution hub. On Thursday night, Marines from the Brooklyn-based 6th Communications Battalion saved 14 people when a transformer blew in Rockaway Beach. The Army Corps of Engineers is busy draining the water from New York’s tunnels. In Brighton Beach, troops evacuated a 350-person nursing home. Nearly 350 soldiers riding 150 armored Humvees are keeping order in Staten Island.

It’s a big enough effort that nearly 1,000 troops from other states’ National Guards — two military police companies, two medium truck companies and a forward support company — are rushing in to assist. 300 more Marines and sailors aboard three large-deck amphibious assault ships are now in the waters off of New York and New Jersey. Hopefully, they’ll be able to pick up where the lingerie company left off.

OK Guys…and you ladies you now have your justification for paying outrageous prices for lingerie for Victoria’s Secret for the year. Thanking them for helping save Manhattan from Hurricane Sandy!

I took Impish’s Last Word message to heart Saturday (we’ll not speak of what DIDN’T get said). He’s right they might have won a major battle, hell likely they have won the war and will succeeded in destroying our country but that doesn’t mean we have to go silently or willingly into that good night!

Obama Wins, but We Are Not Going Away

posted on November 7, 2012 by Tad Cronn

Liberals the world round are celebrating because the American electorate proved just stupid enough to fall for Barack Obama a second time.

That means the leash is off the lion.

“This is my last election. … After my election I have more flexibility,” Obama told Russia’s Dmitry Medvedev earlier this year.

And he’s right.

During his first term, even with a Republican majority in the House of Representatives, Obama has gotten away with circumventing the Constitution, unilaterally granting amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants, violating the rights of religious institutions and businesses, targeting conservatives for harassment by the IRS and other agencies, and countless other abuses of power.

He has used his overseas lackeys to surreptitiously overthrow governments and threaten the balance of power in the Mideast, he has ignored the threat of Iran, weakened our military, abandoned our allies, coddled our enemies and, in Benghazi, literally gotten away with murder.

He has turned our country from a world leader to a nation of feeble-minded dependents, and he is poised to greatly expand the quiet genocide of the abortion industry and install gay marriage as the new norm.

He has ignored and even worsened our economic problems, allowing a real unemployment rate of more than 14 percent to linger for years while dogmatically pushing for higher taxes on job producers and working to shut down the coal and oil industries, and wasting taxpayer money on snake-oil alternative energy schemes.

And he did all these things while feeling constrained by the need to win re-election from a population that has suffered through the worst economy since the Depression and that should have had the self-respect to throw out the bum most responsible for it.

Instead, the electorate — just enough of the voters — demonstrated they have rocks between their ears.

When Obama went around Congress and the constitutional separation of powers by proposing, passing and signing the Dream Act by himself without involving the Legislative Branch, he effectively crowned himself a king.

Now that he’s past that pesky re-election, the smart money says he’s itching to take that crown for a test drive.

There was little holding Obama back before, now he must be thinking there’s nothing to slow him down.

Prepare to see, at last, the real Obama.

But there is something to slow him down. That’s you and me.

While the temptation to give in to despair and withdraw is great, this sham of an election should be a clarion call to conservatives to get even more involved in politics than ever.

We cannot afford any longer to take it easy and content ourselves with being consigned to the sidelines of politics by a middle-to-left political and media establishment. We can no longer take the high ground while liberals drag the country through the mud.

We can no longer afford to just talk and persuade, we must do, we must get involved if we aren’t already, by harassing liberal politicians and journalists, by mobbing liberals the way they mob us, and most importantly by running for office.

While we should not advocate violence, we must be prepared, if it comes to that, to engage in passive or even active resistance.

The lion is off the leash, so we must take up our political spears and become hunters.

Spears hell! I’m hunting this incarnation of the Democratic Donkey with a freaking TANK! I can’t really say I’m particular that I kill it with the Main Gun or squash it into a nasty goo closely resembling the bullshit its full of with the tank’s treads.

To paraphrase a sentiment from General George Patton I want to rip its living guts out and use them the grease the treads off the DL/LL Tank of Truth as it rolls over the lies this administration has been feeding us since before its first election was even done.

… And remember, if you are not happy, there is always another presidential election just four years away. For now, rejoice that the TV ads and incessant phone calls will stop — for at least two years when the campaigns start up again.

 

 

237th Birthday of the United States Marine Corps

Brief History of the United States Marine Corps. On November 10, 1775, the Continental Congress meeting in Philadelphia passed a resolution stating that “two Battalions of Marines be raised” for service as landing forces with the fleet. This resolution, established the Continental Marines and marked the birth date of the United States Marine Corps.

Serving on land and at sea, these first Marines distinguished themselves in a number of important operations, including their first amphibious raid into the Bahamas in March 1776, under the command of Captain (later Major) Samuel Nicholas. Nicholas, the first commissioned officer in the Continental Marines, remained the senior Marine officer throughout the American Revolution and is considered to be the first Marine Commandant. The Treaty of Parris in April 1783 brought an end to the Revolutionary War and as the last of the Navy’s ships were sold, the Continental Navy and Marines went out of existence. Following the Revolutionary War and the formal re-establishment of the Marine Corps on 11 July 1798, Marines saw action in the quasi-war with France, landed in Santo Domingo, and took part in many operations against the Barbary pirates along the “Shores of Tripoli”. Marines participated in numerous naval operations during the War of 1812, as well as participating in the defense of Washington at Bladensburg, Maryland, and fought alongside Andrew Jackson in the defeat of the British at New Orleans. The decades following the War of 1812 saw the Marines protecting American interests around the world, in the Caribbean, at the Falkland Islands, Sumatra and off the coast of West Africa, and also close to home in the operations against the Seminole Indians in Florida. During the Mexican War (1846-1848), Marines seized enemy seaports on both the Gulf and Pacific coasts. A battalion of Marines joined General Scott’s army at Pueblo and fought all the way to the “Halls of Montezuma,”Mexico City. Marines also served ashore and afloat in the Civil War (1861-1865). Although most service was with the Navy, a battalion fought at Bull Run and other units saw action with the blockading squadrons and at Cape Hatteras, New Orleans, Charleston, and Fort Fisher. The last third of the 19th century saw Marines making numerous landings throughout the world, especially in the Orient and in the Caribbean area. Following the Spanish-American War (1898), in which Marines performed with valor in Cuba, Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Philippines, the Corps entered an era of expansion and professional development. It saw active service in the Philippine Insurrection (1899-1902), the Boxer Rebellion in China (1900). and in numerous other nations, including Nicaragua, Panama, Cuba, Mexico, and Haiti. In World War I the Marine Corps distinguished itself on the battlefields of France as the 4th Marine Brigade earned the title of “Devil Dogs” for heroic action during 1918 at Belleau Wood, Soissons, St. Michiel, Blanc Mont, and in the final Meuse-Argonne offensive. Marine aviation, which dates from 1912, also played a part in the war effort, as Marine pilots flew day bomber missions over France and Belgium. More than 30,000 Marines had served in France and more than a third were killed or wounded in six months of intense fighting. During the two decades before World War II, the Marine Corps began to develop in earnest the doctrine, equipment, and organization needed for amphibious warfare. The success of this effort was proven first on Guadalcanal, then on Bougainville, Tarawa, New Britain, Kwajalein, Eniwetok, Saipan, Guam, Tinian, Peleliu, Iwo Jima, and Okinawa.

By the end of the war in 1945, the Marine Corps had grown to include six divisions, five air wings, and supporting troops. Its strength in World War II peaked at 485,113. The war cost the Marines nearly 87,000 dead and wounded and 82 Marines had earned the Medal of Honor. While Marine units took part in the post-war occupation of Japan and North China, studies were undertaken at Quantico, Virginia, which concentrated on attaining a “vertical envelopment” capability for the Corps through the use of helicopters. Landing at Inchon, Korea in September 1950, Marines proved that the doctrine of amphibious assault was still viable and necessary. After the recapture of Seoul, the Marines advanced to the Chosin Reservoir only to see the Chinese Communists enter the war. After years of offensives, counter-offensives, seemingly endless trench warfare, and occupation duty, the last Marine ground troops were withdrawn in March 1955. More than 25,000 Marines were killed or wounded during the Korean War. In July 1958, a brigade-size force landed in Lebanon to restore order. During the Cuban Missile Crisis in October 1962, a large amphibious force was marshaled but not landed. In April 1965, a brigade of Marines landed in the Dominican Republic to protect Americans and evacuate those who wished to leave. The landing of the 9th Marine Expeditionary Brigade at Da Nangin 1965 marked the beginning of large-scale Marine involvement in Vietnam. By summer 1968, after the enemy’s Tet Offensive, Marine Corps strength in Vietnam rose to a peak of approximately 85,000. The Marine withdrawal began in 1969 as the South Vietnamese began to assume a larger role in the fighting; the last ground forces were out of Vietnam by June 1971. The Vietnam War, longest in the history of the Marine Corps, exacted a high cost as well with over 13,000 Marines killed and more than 88,000 wounded. In the spring of 1975, Marines evacuated embassy staffs, American citizens, and refugees in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, and Saigon,Republic of Vietnam. Later, in May 1975, Marines played an integral role in the rescue of the crew of the SS Mayaguez captured off the coast of Cambodia. The mid-1970s saw the Marine Corps assume an increasingly significant role in defending NATO’s northern flank as amphibious units of the 2d Marine Division participated in exercises throughout northern Europe. The Marine Corps also played a key role in the development of the Rapid Deployment Force, a multi-service organization created to insure a flexible, timely military response around the world when needed. The Maritime Prepositioning Ships (MPS) concept was developed to enhance this capability by prestaging equipment needed for combat in the vicinity of the designated area of operations, and reduce response time as Marines travel by air to link up with MPS assets. The 1980s brought an increasing number of terrorist attacks on U.S. embassies around the world. Marine Security Guards, under the direction of the State Department, continued to serve with distinction in the face of this challenge. In August 1982, Marine units landed at Beirut, Lebanon, as part of the multi-national peace-keeping force. For the next 19 months these units faced the hazards of their mission with courage and professionalism.

 

{For our efforts in Beirut we were rewarded with the bombing of our barracks.

Resulting death toll 241- LL]

In October 1983, Marines took part in the highly successful, short-notice intervention in Grenada. As the decade of the 1980s came to a close, Marines were summoned to respond to instability in Central America.

Operation Just Cause was launched in Panama in December 1989 to protect American lives and restore the democratic process in that nation.

Less than a year later, in August 1990, the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait set in motion events that would lead to the largest movement of Marine Corps forces since World War II. Between August 1990 and January 1991, some 24 infantry battalions, 40 squadrons, and more than 92,000 Marines deployed to the Persian Gulf as part of Operation Desert Shield. Operation Desert Storm was launched 16 January 1991, the day the air campaign began. The main attack came overland beginning 24 February when the 1st and 2d Marine Divisions breached the Iraqi defense lines and stormed into occupied Kuwait. By the morning of February 28, 100 hours after the ground war began, almost the entire Iraqi Army in the Kuwaiti theater of operations had been encircled with 4,000 tanks destroyed and 42 divisions destroyed or rendered ineffective. Overshadowed by the events in the Persian Gulf during 1990-91, were a number of other significant Marine deployments demonstrating the Corps’ flexible and rapid response. Included among these were non-combatant evacuation operations in Liberia and Somalia and humanitarian lifesaving operations in Bangladesh, the Philippines, and northern Iraq. In December 1992, Marines landed in Somalia marking the beginning of a two-year humanitarian relief operation in that famine-stricken and strife-torn nation. In another part of the world, Marine Corps aircraft supported Operation Deny Flight in the no-fly zone over Bosnia-Herzegovina. During April 1994, Marines once again demonstrated their ability to protect American citizens in remote parts of the world when a Marine task force evacuated U.S. citizens from Rwanda in response to civil unrest in that country. Closer to home, Marines went ashore in September 1994 in Haiti as part of the U.S. force participating in the restoration of democracy in that country. During this same period Marines were actively engaged in providing assistance to the Nation’s counter-drug effort, assisting in battling wild fires in the western United States, and aiding in flood and hurricane relief operations. During the late 1990′s, Marine Corps units deployed to several African nations, including Liberia, the Central African Republic,Zaire, and Eritrea, in order to provide security and assist in the evacuation of American citizens, during periods of political and civil instability in those nations. Humanitarian and disaster relief operations were also conducted by Marines during 1998 on Kenya, and in the Central American nations of Honduras,Nicaragua,El Salvador, and Guatemala. In 1999, Marine units deployed to Kosovo in support of Operation Allied Force. Soon after the September 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City and Washington,D.C., Marine units deployed to the Arabian Sea and in November set up a forward operating base in southern Afghanistan as part of Operation Enduring Freedom.

The Marine Corps has continued its tradition of innovation to meet the challenges of a new century. The Marine Corps Warfighting Laboratory was created in 1995 to evaluate change, assess the impact of new technologies on war fighting, and expedite the introduction of new capabilities into the operating forces of the Marine Corps. Exercises such as “Hunter Warrior,” and “Urban Warrior” were designed to explore future tactical concepts, and to examine facets of military operations in urban environments. Today’s Marine Corps stands ready to continue in the proud tradition of those who so valiantly fought and died at Belleau Wood,Iwo Jima, the Chosin Reservoir, and Khe Sanh. Combining a long and proud heritage of faithful service to the nation, with the resolve to face tomorrow’s challenges will continue to keep the Marine Corps the “best of the best.”

 

http://www.mca-marines.org/gazette/237birthday

Semper Fidelis is the official march of the United States Marine Corps. It was composed by John Philip Sousa in 1889 and immediately became the official march of the USMC. This is dedicated to all Marines.
Played by your favorite, “The President’s Own” United States Marine Band!
This is track 1 of the John Philip Sousa album, “Sousa Original”, all played by the United States Marine Band.

 

As you can see the USMC is truly the James Brown of our Armed Services the first to fight since 1775 and the most often used. It has been said that the first phrase after ‘Oh My God’ when those of the Executive Branch are informed the shit has hit the fan and spattered Americans somewhere in the world is “Where is the nearest Marine Unit?” and we take pride in that!

Happy 237th Birthday you Devil Dogs!

Good Morning Campers.  So, okay.  Against all belief and against the losing of the Washington Redskins, the head faker was re-elected to a second term.  Another 4 years of his bull shit.  That does not mean that we, here at Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media Inc, are going to lay down and roll over.  Oh hell no!  We are going to be watching all the more closely, ready to yell foul, cast the light of righteousness shining brightly on the actions of this administration.  Everything that he  has done wrong is still wrong.  And every non-American thing he has done is still another dagger in her heart. 
WE WILL NOT LET THIS DESTROY US.
WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, ARE WATCHING!!!
Now, I think we need a good laugh…And I’m just the dragon to give it to us!!

 

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t someone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”

There I was, dozing on the couch, contentedly snoring away when I was startled awake by the doorbell.  I staggered off the couch and made my way to the front door.  There stood a gorgeous young woman.  “Oh my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed, “I’m sorry Mr. Dragon, I’m at the wrong house.”
”Sweetheart, you’re at the right house,” I rumbled.  “But you’re about forty years too late.”

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. “Well,” said the American, “I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here.” “That’s amazing!” said the one of the doctors, “But what happened to the other two?” “Last I saw them,” replied the American, “the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay.

A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must be rather difficult.” the man replied. “Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”

Sadly, this one comes just a little late…but the sentiment is there and should be explored.  Thanks to my dad for forwarding this one on to me..

I think the best thing would be for Obama to get voted out and President Romney to make him ambassador to Libya since we have a vacancy there.

And we’ll make sure to have the same security arrangements in place that Obama found acceptable for the previous ambassador.

 

The spoken word is…or can be…an art form in and of it self, where one person relates a passing story and another weaves a tapestry of adventure, love, loss and happiness and you realize, that both have told you of the same event…yes, the second person is an artist.  A painter of pictures with words.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, then the right words, from the true artist, is worth a thousand pictures.  Here now is Shane Koyczan, a true artist.  May your life be enriched by the seven minutes he shares with you.

 

Baby kicks dragons ass…never happen, I know, but it is cute…
http://laughingsquid.com/dragon-baby-a-kung-fu-toddler-in-an-epic-battle-with-stuffed-dragon/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+laughingsquid+%28Laughing+Squid%29

 

I know this is going to sound strange coming from me, but with Veterans Day on Monday, I’m sure you all expected a much more in-depth coverage of that auspicious holiday.  Under normal circumstances I would agree with you, sadly, these are not normal circumstances.  As I mentioned earlier, as much as we all may not agree with what happened on Tuesday, as overwhelmingly disappointed as we may be with the direction that the country has decided to go in, and even though there isn’t a chance in HELL that we are going to take our eyes off of the Kenyan born, Socialist-in-Chief, it is time to move past the election and survive for the next four years.  In that regard, celebrating the sacrifice and the huge things that our Vets have given to this country.  Most recently has been the sacrifice that two very special men have given and the example that they’ve set.  Here is a really great poem to ponder…
Find a Veteran and thank him for the courage, commitment and service that he performed, selflessly, for all of us.  To all of you Vets out there, I’d like to say thank you  for your service.  Thank you for volunteering to put your ass on the line between the evil bad guys of the world and me and my family.  Thank you.