Dragon Laffs #1298


Header54adult2_thumb5_thumb_thumbGood Morning Campers.  So, okay.  Against all belief and against the losing of the Washington Redskins, the head faker was re-elected to a second term.  Another 4 years of his bull shit.  That does not mean that we, here at Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media Inc, are going to lay down and roll over.  Oh hell no!  We are going to be watching all the more closely, ready to yell foul, cast the light of righteousness shining brightly on the actions of this administration.  Everything that he  has done wrong is still wrong.  And every non-American thing he has done is still another dagger in her heart. 
WE WILL NOT LET THIS DESTROY US.
WE, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, ARE WATCHING!!!
Now, I think we need a good laugh…And I’m just the dragon to give it to us!!

Let's Laugh 1

 

Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”

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On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York; and I’m not moving.” Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde; I’m beautiful; I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.” He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t someone just say so?” Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

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A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”

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There I was, dozing on the couch, contentedly snoring away when I was startled awake by the doorbell.  I staggered off the couch and made my way to the front door.  There stood a gorgeous young woman.  “Oh my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed, “I’m sorry Mr. Dragon, I’m at the wrong house.”
”Sweetheart, you’re at the right house,” I rumbled.  “But you’re about forty years too late.”

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An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. “Well,” said the American, “I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew I was back here.” “That’s amazing!” said the one of the doctors, “But what happened to the other two?” “Last I saw them,” replied the American, “the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay.

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A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must be rather difficult.” the man replied. “Oh, I don’t mind too much.” she said. “But, it has my husband pretty upset.”

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A Guy walks up to a beautiful woman in a bar and says, “You remind me of my little toe”
She replies,“What? You Mean I’m small and cute?”
He says,“No. I’ll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I’m drunk.”Holy Crap

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Sadly, this one comes just a little late…but the sentiment is there and should be explored.  Thanks to my dad for forwarding this one on to me..

I think the best thing would be for Obama to get voted out and President Romney to make him ambassador to Libya since we have a vacancy there.

And we’ll make sure to have the same security arrangements in place that Obama found acceptable for the previous ambassador.

 

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The spoken word is…or can be…an art form in and of it self, where one person relates a passing story and another weaves a tapestry of adventure, love, loss and happiness and you realize, that both have told you of the same event…yes, the second person is an artist.  A painter of pictures with words.  If a picture is worth a thousand words, then the right words, from the true artist, is worth a thousand pictures.  Here now is Shane Koyczan, a true artist.  May your life be enriched by the seven minutes he shares with you.

Thanks to Lynn for passing this on

 

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Baby kicks dragons ass…never happen, I know, but it is cute…
http://laughingsquid.com/dragon-baby-a-kung-fu-toddler-in-an-epic-battle-with-stuffed-dragon/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+laughingsquid+%28Laughing+Squid%29

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Epiphany
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Ground Control
Happiness is not

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Veterans Day2Veterans Day3I know this is going to sound strange coming from me, but with Veterans Day on Monday, I’m sure you all expected a much more in-depth coverage of that auspicious holiday.  Under normal circumstances I would agree with you, sadly, these are not normal circumstances.  As I mentioned earlier, as much as we all may not agree with what happened on Tuesday, as overwhelmingly disappointed as we may be with the direction that the country has decided to go in, and even though there isn’t a chance in HELL that we are going to take our eyes off of the Kenyan born, Socialist-in-Chief, it is time to move past the election and survive for the next four years.  In that regard, celebrating the sacrifice and the huge things that our Vets have given to this country.  Most recently has been the sacrifice that two very special men have given and the example that they’ve set.  Here is a really great poem to ponder…
01a1Veterans Day4Find a Veteran and thank him for the courage, commitment and service that he performed, selflessly, for all of us.  To all of you Vets out there, I’d like to say thank you  for your service.  Thank you for volunteering to put your ass on the line between the evil bad guys of the world and me and my family.  Thank you.
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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1298

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    I got to let the Dragon fly solo sans ground control SOME time Sgt Zang. Usually when I do things like this happen. I’ve been on TAD from my regular work for myself job this week. Seems that my small local gun shop where I do my business has been swamped since the election and I have been drafted to help out with crowd control and paperwork. That leaves me with sporadic internet access and time plus when I DO get home the list of things I didn’t get done sadly must take precedence.

    I DID try calling last night and reminding Impish but he was apparently otherwise engaged and did not take or return my call. I slept in late this morning and when I got up Molly was pointing at the kitchen growling about an empty belly and me cooking breakfast. Well she might be only 5’4″ and not weight a whole lot be she’s REALLY grouchy and nasty when she is hungry. Bacon Eggs Biscuits and Coffee took a bit of time so I am just now getting to my computer to grab a glance around before I have to be at the gun shop protecting our right to bear arms from liberals and Kenyan socialist closet towel heads at Noon.

    I’ll see if I can get something posted ASAP to correct ‘someone’s’ oversight.

    Impish: if you are reading this- we’re going to have a ‘come to Jesus’ discussion about this. You, me…closed door executive session- in the wood shed, just as soon as I have 5 minutes and replace the axe handle I broke during our last wood shed discussion.

    UPDATE: Apparently Impish was shot down sometime late yesterday with a stomach bug which is giving him a great fondness for all things porcelain.

    He attempted to ‘gut things out’ (no pun intended but if you feel like giggling and smirking at it go ahead) to get the issue completed and out. Apparently in between trips to the little dragons distress station more than a few things were left out in the interest of getting any issue posted at all.

    As a Marine who has had experience firing my rifle one minute and the projection vomit cannon the next, then right back to my rifle I can understand his position and have retracted my request for a woodshed discussion with Impish at this time. I should think any Marine who has by necessity stood his post despite being dog sick can also understand his position and condition. Hopefully we can all find a little forgiveness in our hearts of the unintentional slight… keeping in mind that Dragons have multiple stomachs and when when becomes distressed they ALL becomes so.

  2. Hey LL & ID, what? A Nov. 10th issue and you forgot to mention the Marine Corps 237th Birthday? I’m shocked! Shocked and appalled!!

    H. O. Zang
    Sgt USMC
    1976-1983

    • impishdragon says:

      Sgt Zang, Lethal Leprechaun, and the other Marine Vets,
      My apologies for forgetting the auspicious 237th Birthday of the United States Marine Corps. I’m terribly sorry for having forgotten.
      I’ll be waiting for forgiveness from my friend and partner Lethal.

      Sincerely,
      From an undisclosed CIA Safe House
      Impish Dragon

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