Wow! Last Day of July already! Summer is flying by! Come the end of August we’ll be 3/4 through with the year already and it seems like it just started. I guess once you’re ‘over the hill’ the hand basket to hell really DOES pick up speed!

We’d better get started before anymore time escapes us!

I know a few households where I don’t doubt this is possible.

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch, telling him how frustrated she was.

“I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained.
“I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed;
then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too.”

The shrink thought for a moment and said… “Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?”

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says… “Well go ahead, I’ll give it a try!”

 

(CNN) — Musician JJ Cale, whose songs “Cocaine” and “After Midnight” were made famous by Eric Clapton, died Friday after suffering a heart attack, the president of his management agency said. His contemporaries considered him a legend, even if many fans weren’t familiar with his name. He was 74.

“JJ Cale was loved by fans worldwide for his completely unpretentious and beautiful music,” said Mike Kappus, president of the Rosebud Agency. “He was loved even more dearly by all those he came in contact with as the most real and down-to-earth person we all knew.”

Lynyrd Skynyrd made Cale’s song “Call Me The Breeze” famous, and bands including Santana, The Allman Brothers, Johnny Cash, and many others covered his songs.

He won a Grammy for his 2006 album with Clapton, called The Road to Escondido.

“He was incredibly humble and avoided the spotlight at all costs but will be missed by anyone touched by him directly or indirectly,” Kappus said. “Luckily, his music lives on.”

He was living in Tulsa and had given up on making money in the record business when his career was suddenly made by Clapton’s cover of “After Midnight.”

Other musicians who covered Cale’s work include The Band, Chet Atkins, Freddie King, Maria Muldaur and Captain Beefheart, according to his biography, which also notes he was asked whether it bothered him that fellow musicians considered him a legend while many fans did not even know his name.

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” Cale said. “What’s really nice is when you get a check in the mail.”

The singer-songwriter passed away at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, his official website said.

There were no immediate plans for funeral services, it said.

NYC Mayoral Candidate & confirmed sextexter Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner has shown us two things in the last week (well ok, THREE if you count the obvious one we’d all rather NOT see):

1.) He said at the beginning of his campaign it was possible that more examples of his sextexing and photos of his junk were likely to emerge during his run for mayor and there were. This clearly demonstrates that there ARE politicians capable of keeping their campaign promises– rare as that might be.

2.) That we CAN get back at the NSA for spying on us and make them regret it. To wit:

So you say you have developed a gluten allergy but you desperately miss your midnight snack  Elvis Sandwiches [grilled peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwich] ? NO PROBLEMO!

The Curmudgeonly Chef has your back with a simple solution! Who needs the bread anyway?

SPRAY-ON SUPERHYDROPHOBIC COATING

This awesome spray-on coating can make any material completely waterproof! Imagine shoes that never get wet, clothes that never get stained! It’s called Rust-Oleum NeverWet, and it just became available at stores.

 

That car is actually a vehicle wrap graphic applied to the van

 

Drunks & Winos are going to be having nightmares for weeks!

Now THAT is a wall mural!

 

 

GOP’s Issa, US Postal Service Plan End to Home Delivery

Tuesday, 23 Jul 2013 11:03 AM By Melanie Batley

Mail delivery to the doorstep may be a thing of the past as lawmakers consider ways to cut costs to save the cash-strapped U.S. Postal Service, which lost $16 billion in 2012.
According to CNN Money, the agency is working toward a more “centralized delivery” approach in which residents pick up their mail from a mailbox at the curb or at clusters of mailboxes within their neighborhoods.

The practice already is being adopted for new houses and developments, and some House Republicans want it rolled out universally.
“A balanced approach to saving the Postal Service means allowing USPS to adapt to America’s changing use of mail,” said Rep. Darrell Issa, the California Republican leading the House effort to save the Postal Service.
Doing away with doorstep delivery has become a central part of Issa’s proposal to save money. Ending door-to-door deliveries would save $4.5 billion a year from the $30 billion the mail service currently spends on delivery.
How? Right now, 35 million residences and businesses get mail delivered to their doorstep. CNN reports that it costs $353 per stop for a delivery in most American cities, taking into account such things as salaries and cost of transport.
Curbside-mailbox delivery costs $224, and cluster boxes cost $160, according to a report from the Postal Service Office of Inspector General cited by CNN.
In addition to the $16 billion lost by the agency last year, it twice defaulted on payments owed to the federal government to prefund retiree healthcare benefits totaling $11 billion. The agency also has exhausted a $15 billion line of credit from the U.S. Treasury.
Nevertheless, the plan has received criticism from unions, which say it would be disruptive for the elderly and disabled, and from others who claim it would be inconvenient and possibly unsafe.
“It’s madness,” Jim Sauber, chief of staff for the National Association of Letter Carriers, told CNN. “The idea that somebody is going to walk down to their mailbox in Buffalo, N.Y., in the winter snow to get their mail is just crazy.”
Others, such as industry groups, support the idea as an alternative to the proposal of cutting Saturday service, which the service floated earlier this year before reversing the decision.

The Postal Service also continues to struggle with mail volume, especially drops in first-class mail, its big revenue driver, as more Americans move to electronic bill-pay and e-mail. To many critics, the service has become little more than a junk-mail delivery service.

Maybe we can get the USPS to issue a stamp like the above

What’s that? You’re tired of seeing this section every issue?

Well I’m tired of it too! Tired of chasing Impish to find out if I need to include it, tired of swallowing my pride to write it, tired of hearing how few and meager the donations are (NOT that we do not accept ALL donations gratefully but it IS disheartening).

Tired of discussing with Impish how in the hell we’re going to cover the gap between donations and the costs of doing this and I’m DAMNED tired of not even making enough extra to buy a lousy cup of inferior over priced coffee when I see all these other subscription sites raking it in.

We’re not asking to make 2 livings off of this, we’re not even asking for it to pay like a part time job (which it IS), we just want to stop bleeding our money into it and make it self sustaining.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Here’s your chance to prove to us that  Impish & I chose the brighter audience.

Make a small donation towards keeping us going today won’t you? Your waist line can do without a fast food lunch for one day out of the week and both it and we will thank you for it!

Donate to keep us free

• Donate to Dragon & Leprechaun Laffs

Bottom line: We need another $75 to just cover everything associated with this blog. Neither of us can really afford to come up with it.  If we can get that we don’t have to write these pleas anymore and you don’t have to read them.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bottle of Listerine- the original kind. I’m hoping it washes the taste of begging out of my mouth but I doubt it.

.

Haven’t done a Libation in a while and now that we’re all sweltering it’s high time for a cooling adult beverage that will take you back to your youth.

This one is so simple and easy that there are only 3 items and no directions. In fact the recipe is a photo!

A sure way to reduce gun violence

In 1865 a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln.

In 1964 a communist – turned Democrat – killed John F. Kennedy.

In 1983 a registered Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan.

In 2007 a registered Democrat named Seung-Hui Cho shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

In 2010 a mentally ill registered Democrat named Jared Lee Loughner shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

In 2011 registered Democrat James Holmes shot and killed 12 people in a movie theater.

In 2013 registered Democrat Adam Lanza shot and killed 26 people in a school.

One could go on but you get the point, even if the media does not.
Clearly, there is a problem with Democrats and their owning guns.
Each year thousands are murdered in Chicago.
Most of the dead and the killers are African-Americans.
The same can be said of every large city in America.
Blacks voted for Obama to the tune of 97%. They are all Democrats.

SOLUTION:

It should simply be illegal for Democrats to own guns.

Take the guns from Democrats and you’ve just reduced gun crime by 97%.

Reduce gun crime by 97% and the US will have better crime statistics than any other nation on the planet.

As an added bonus Democrats since they will be unable to own weapons will have scored a compromise weapons ban and no longer be constantly harping to the damned Second Amendment issue and Congress just MIGHT accidentally accomplish something! Good enough, no?

WILDLIFE GETS EVERMORE TALENTED: “Man Shoots Pictures of Wolf Chasing Him   on Motorcycle in Canada” — AP headline

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS: Jayden Sink set up a lemonade stand in   Topeka, Kan., to raise money for charity. She had seen the “Equality House” there, says her father, Jon. “She saw pictures of it and thought it was the most beautiful house in the world,” he said, and the
  organization which owns the rainbow-flag-painted house said sure: she could set up her stand on its lawn. That presented the organization
  across the street, the Westboro Baptist Church, “a great preaching
  opportunity,” said Jonathan Phelps, son of WBC founder Fred Phelps Sr.

  “Because every time you tell the story about the lemonade,” he  continued, “you have to tell about the eternal hatred and wrath of God towards the impenitent sinner, and the popular sin of the day is the sin of sodomy.”

Jayden was attracting a crowd so Church members harassed her to get her to leave, but she wouldn’t budge from her goal to raise $500 for her charity. “She was right in front of this hate group,” said a neighbor who witnessed the harassment. “She was unfazed and unafraid, and they are so very vile and rude to people.” Jayden, who is 5 years old, is not promoting sodomy. Rather, she is raising   money to educate children about bullying. So far, she has raised more   than $22,000. (RC/KCTV Kansas City).

She’ll unfortunately need a lot more than that to educate WBC members about bullying. Here is someone else trying to show them the depths of their stupidity too. Too bad I’m positive it was a water off the duck’s back situation

 

In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows,
Lived Adam and Eve, without any clothes.
In this garden, were two little leaves,
One covered Adam’s, one covered Eve’s.

As the story goes on, never the less to say,
the wind came along, and blew the leaves away.
At the sight, Adam did stare,
There was Eve’s treasure, all covered with hair.

And wonder came, under Eve’s eyes,
As Adam’s thing, started to rise.
They found a spot, that suited them best,
A nice big tree, where they began to rest.

Her legs spread wider, and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill, came into her heart.
The head of Adam’s thing, peeked into the hole,
And filled her with passion, beyond her control.

Backward and forward, his thing did slide,
And Eve’s treasure, was all wet inside.
The joy was good, she wouldn’t let loose,
Until Adam’s thing, was all out of juice.

Then down through the years, people did screw,
And now it is time, for me and you.
So pull down your pants, and lay in the grass,
Because I’m in the mood for a piece of that ass!

 

 

How Microsoft handed the NSA access to encrypted messages

• Secret files show scale of Silicon Valley co-operation on Prism
• Outlook.com encryption unlocked even before official launch
• Skype worked to enable Prism collection of video calls
• Company says it is legally compelled to comply

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/11/microsoft-nsa-collaboration-user-data

Since Prism’s existence became public, Microsoft and the other companies listed on the NSA documents as providers have denied all knowledge of the program and insisted that the intelligence agencies do not have back doors into their systems.

The files provided by Edward Snowden illustrate the scale of co-operation between Silicon Valley and the intelligence agencies over the last three years. They also shed new light on the workings of the top-secret Prism program, which was disclosed by the Guardian and the Washington Post last month.

The documents show that:

• Microsoft helped the NSA to circumvent its encryption to address concerns that the agency would be unable to intercept web chats on the new Outlook.com portal;

• The agency already had pre-encryption stage access to email on Outlook.com, including Hotmail;

• In July last year, nine months after Microsoft bought Skype, the NSA boasted that a new capability had tripled the amount of Skype video calls being collected through Prism;

• Material collected through Prism is routinely shared with the FBI and CIA, with one NSA document describing the program as a “team sport”.

The latest NSA revelations further expose the tensions between Silicon Valley and the Obama administration. All the major tech firms are lobbying the government to allow them to disclose more fully the extent and nature of their co-operation with the NSA to meet their customers’ privacy concerns. Privately, tech executives are at pains to distance themselves from claims of collaboration and teamwork given by the NSA documents, and insist the process is driven by legal compulsion.

In a statement, Microsoft said: “When we upgrade or update products we aren’t absolved from the need to comply with existing or future lawful demands.” The company reiterated its argument that it provides customer data “only in response to government demands and we only ever comply with orders for requests about specific accounts or identifiers”.

In June, the Guardian revealed that the NSA claimed to have “direct access” through the Prism program to the systems of many major internet companies, including Microsoft, Skype, Apple, Google, Facebook and Yahoo.

Microsoft’s latest marketing campaign, launched in April, emphasizes its commitment to privacy with the slogan: “Your privacy is our priority.”

Similarly, Skype’s privacy policy states: “Skype is committed to respecting your privacy and the confidentiality of your personal data, traffic data and communications content.”

But internal NSA newsletters, marked top secret, suggest the co-operation between the intelligence community and the companies is deep and ongoing.

From where I sit there are 2 clear winners when it come to the issue of domestic spying on US citizen who have not been accused of a crime.

1.) Al Qaida who has succeeded in causing a situation which forced the government to take away yet another of the personal freedoms this nation was founded on and moves it one step closer to life under the oppressive thumb of Sharia Law in which thoughts, behavior, morals and actions are all rigorously monitored/dictated and transgressions ruthlessly  zealously and archaically punished.

2.) The Liberals. Capitalizing on terrorism and under the guise of keeping us safe they are finally achieving their Orwellian 1984 Big Brother utopian society dream. Too bad about them stubborn & pesky gun owners though.

MICROSOFT NEEDS TO BE SENT A CLEAR MESSAGE that this sort of behavior cannot and WILL not be tolerated. They are guilty of selling you false expectations of privacy in your communications. From where I sit that is FRAUD. Further they, as far as I can find NEVER once updated their privacy statements or  Terms & Conditions For Use to reflect ANY of this. I also see conspiracy to violate or Civil Rights here as well. MICROSOFT SHOULD BE THE SUBJECT OF A CLASS ACTION SUIT.

Further we can hit them and hit them HARD in their bottom line by not buying Microsoft products. There ARE other Operating Systems and programs out there, other cellphones. IF for just 3 months NOBODY bought a single product that had any remote association with Microsoft the effect would be catastrophic and devastating in its second and third order effects.

You can BET that when it came to a choice between surviving as a Corporate entity of being the NSA’s pet butt monkey Microsoft would choose survival and cease co-operating outside the scope of any court orders.

Good Morning Campers.  Or perhaps I should say good evening.  It is actually 12:30 Saturday Morning as I’m writing this, since I’ve been crazy busy and then feeling under the weather today, I slept a good portion of the day so now I’m wide awake.  (Hi Diaman, I know your waiting…)

Anyway, lots and lots of videos in today’s issue.  Yes, you will have to go to the website at http://dragonlaffs.com to watch them.  They are well worth it.  And while you’re there, why not buy us a cup of coffee.  Donate $4 to save our website by clicking on the paypal link in the right hand column. 

And speaking of donations, I wish to thank all of you who’ve stepped up to the plate to help pay our bills for our website.  Those of you who’ve decided to help keep us free.  Not only free from ads, but free from subscription costs.  Because of your generosity, we’ve been able to keep this website free from ads and subscription costs for over six years.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generosity.

We aren’t quite there yet this year, but we’re close.  I would like to make one final plea for donations, to put us over the edge and make us solvent for another year.  Please check the couch cushions again, dig down for that extra cup of coffee, check the car seats for change.  Don’t be the one who hasn’t given and is still enjoying the campground.  Okay, that’s all I’m going to say about it.  Thanks for all  you’ve done.

Okay, this is just too good not to share!  From our dear friend’s website, Kim Komando…and yes, if you want to watch this great video, you have to go to the website.  I’ll even give you a short cut: http://dragonlaffs.com And while you’re there, why not buy us a cup of coffee?

Today, I start with a cartoon that is just horrible!  HORRIBLE!! When you think about it, I’m sure you’ll agree!

Okay, not necessarily a dragon, but a dragon like creature just the same.

This is absolutely incredible!  Which car would survive a crash better?  A 1959 Chevy Bel Air or a 2009 Chevy Malibu?  I think, the older, heavier car would destroy the newer one made out plastic and aluminum.  Don’t you?
And again….you have to go to the website to view the video.  Again, I’ll give you a link to the website, but do me a favor, buy me a cuppa while you’re there… http://dragonlaffs.com

Well, WE WERE WRONG!!!

Question:  What are the three great American parties?

Answer:  Democratic, Republican and Tupperware.

Here’s a couple of really funny ones….and do I really have to use the words website and cup of coffee?

Another great video.  Amazingly, many people thought this one was a real product.   Just goes to show how silly our public really is.

DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

It’s good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

THIS INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.   AN IMPORTANT WARNING TO US ALL!!!

  I use shampoo in the shower!   When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body.

I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”
.

No wonder I have been gaining weight!   So I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It’s label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”
.

Problem solved!

If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!

IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE,

DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants. The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough, because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

 

 

 

 

 

Montreal Mosaicultures Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montrealshow.html

Well, it’s announced as good news for us!  And I suppose, in a way, it is good news.  But see if you can catch the catch. 

House Passes Measures to Prohibit Furloughs at DoD

• The House on Tuesday night approved two anti-furlough amendments to the 2014 Defense Appropriations Bill. The first bipartisan amendment, proposed by Reps. Douglas Lamborn of Colorado and Beto O’Rourke of Texas, would prohibit the Department of Defense from imposing furloughs on civilian DoD employees in FY2014. The second bipartisan amendment, proposed by Tom Cole of Oklahoma and Derek Kilmer of Washington, would prohibit DoD from furloughing civilian employees who work in working capital funded entities.

Okay, so you didn’t see it there… try this, similar, article from another source:

ArmyTimes.com
July 24, 2013

House Votes To Block More DoD Furloughs In 2014
Move could force more budget cuts in other programs

By Rick Maze, Staff writer

The House added a whole new wrinkle to concerns about military readiness and budget cuts on Tuesday by passing legislation barring furloughs for civilian workers in fiscal 2014.

Passed by voice vote as an amendment to the 2014 defense appropriations bill, the legislation sponsored by Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colo., prohibits the Defense department from spending any money to implement civilian furloughs beginning Oct. 1, 2013.

Lamborn said the vote is “a first step toward restoring sanity to the defense budget and restoring pay to our nation’s civilian defense workers.”

Although the amendment was bipartisan, Lamborn still took a dig at the White House, saying he proposed the legislation “to make sure the Obama administration can no longer play politics with the lives and jobs of our civilian defense workers.”

The vote comes as 650,000 defense civilian workers (including your favorite dragon) are just starting to take 11 scheduled furlough days as a cost-cutting measure to cope with the $37 billion across-the-board sequestration cuts required when Congress and the White House failed to reach an agreement earlier this year on spending and deficit reduction.

There are increasing concerns that an even bigger, $52 billion sequester would occur in fiscal 2014, which begins Oct. 1, because the Obama administration and Congress appear no closer to an agreement.

In preparation for possible 2014 cuts, DoD does not intend to do more civilian furloughs, but is instead planning for potential layoffs.  In a so-called “Plan B” letter to Congress, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel did not rule out more furloughs but said an involuntary reduction-in-force (RIF for you military types) of civilians is one of the steps being planned in case sequestration carries into 2014.

Barring furloughs would limit Pentagon options, making layoffs not just more likely but also deeper, according to congressional aides.  Inability to absorb short-term budget cuts from civilian furloughs also could force DoD to make deeper cuts in other programs, such as military personnel.

Hagel has already warned sequestration in 2014 could result in a freeze in promotions and reassignment moves and lead to the cancellation of discretionary recruiting and retention bonuses.

Lamborn’s amendment wasn’t the only furlough protection passed by the House on Tuesday.  Also by voice vote, the House passed an amendment prohibiting civilians who are paid  from working capital revolving funds from being furloughed, a move that would protect many depot workers, and another amendment to exempt National Guard dual-status technicians from furloughs.

The working capital amendment was sponsored by Rep. Tom Cole, R-Okla., and the National Gurard technician amendment as offered by Rep. Steven Polozzo, R-Miss.

The Senate will not take up the measure until after Labor Day.

Okay, so I highlighted for you the important parts.  We were told early on in the year, that although the furloughs would last to the end of the year, we would be facing layoffs next year.  And although this looks like a great measure for us DoD Civilian Defense Workers, what it actually does is force, even more, the lay-offs next year.  Furthering the weakening of our country’s defense.

Did you also notice the line, “make deeper cuts in other programs, such as military personnel.” Does anyone not see this as a shrinking of our military?  The idea of a strong military is to have enough strength to fight two wars, on two different fronts at the same time.  Our military can barely successfully administer to one limited war on one front and the administrations goal is to shrink our military even further. 

My Constant Worry, dear campers, is a continued weakening of the defense of our wonderful country to the point that we can be defeated, at home, in the next few years.  Possibly before the next General Election in 2016. 

For those of you who don’t like hearing these words, I’m sorry.  It’s time to pull your head out of the sand and face the music.  Our country is changing, and not for the better. 

Do me a favor.  Look back 5 years and think about what you thought your life would be like 5 years in the future…today.  Are you where you thought you’d be?  I’d say probably not. 

Now, if you look forward 5 years from now and imagine what you think, or maybe even more accurately, what you would LIKE your life to be like in 5 years, what are the odds of you being correct? 

I would say pretty slim. 

Especially if you don’t change something about yourself to direct your life in the direction you want.  If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. 

That goes for countries, too.

It’s going to take small steps, by many, many individuals to form a group large enough to make a difference.  But, it all starts with YOU.  Make the change you want to see in others obvious in yourself, first. 

It is the only way our country will survive.

Wow I’m 3 weeks into this and barely made a dent! In fact I recently discovered even more stuff tucked away! At this rate I’ll be lucky to be cleaned out and pairs down before its back to school time.

In fact the hardest part of these issues so far has been finding decent graphics with which to make opening banners. I might have to revert to normal banners and just keep cleaning things out soon.

 

An undocumented Democrat (Mexican), a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck  were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand.

He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.”I can only grant four wishes, “the Genie said. “Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece.”

  Pointing at the Black, he said, “Since you found the bottle, you may
  have the first wish.”

  The Black studied for a moment then said, “I wish for a fleet of ships
  so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland,  Africa ..”

Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline .

The Mexican said, “I weesh for enough Chebypeekups to take all my
  people back to our homeland, May-he- co!”

  Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.

The Muslim said, “I wish for ten thousand camels to take all of my
  people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can
  live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah.”

Poof! It was done! ten thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Redneck , the Genie asked, “And what is your wish?

The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the
border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out
into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of
the camels and riding off.

The Redneck said, “Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn’t get any better
than this!”

 

 

PROPHECY FULFILLED

This quote tells the whole story————————–

H.L. Mencken (born 1880 – died 1956) was a journalist, satirist, critic, and Democrat. He wrote this editorial while working for the Baltimore Evening Sun, which appeared in the July 26, 1920, edition:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and complete narcissistic moron.”    —-H.L. Mencken, The Baltimore Evening Sun,    July 26, 1920

ESPECIALLY around liberals!

To those of you who have made a donation to help keep DragonLaffs open running and free for another year:  Thank you for your largess and support. We truly appreciate it.

To those of you who tried after last Saturday’s issue came out with incorrect links that routed you right back to the blog: My honestly sincere apologies. Dragons, anatomically and biologically speaking, are not known for their large brains. Granted, Impish is somewhat unusual [read that as mutant]  for a dragon, but biology, evolution nature and his personality/A.D.D. will not be denied.

Hopefully you found the working link on the top right of the blog page where it lives permanently and used that. If not here is the link taken from that section: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4E3ZUYYT2AXVG hopefully you’ll accept my apology for Impish’s screw up, not hold it against us and see fit to make another attempt at supporting us.

To those of you who have not yet donated: What’s the deal? We’re not PBS, we don’t set donation levels, we simply ask for what ever you can spare to help us cover the costs of keeping this blog which you ALL profess to love up and running. I pointed out how as little as a single $1- the price of a fast food chain el-cheapo section of the menu snack item from every one would make a tremendous impact. Impish used the single cup of Starbuck’s coffee example.

You don’t drink Starbucks? Fine we’ll take the price of a cup where ever you drink it. Afraid of using Paypal with your credit card or Debit Card? I can understand that, but Impish has said to contact him off list and he would supply mailing info for a check or an envelope stuffed with the folding long green.

My point is: while our spirits maybe willing thanks to our government our pockets & wallets are weak. We cannot continue to do this without your support. To be bluntly honest, even the price of the cup of coffee is cheap than what a subscription rate would wind up being, so PLEASE give what you can. DO it now, because if we are forced to make a change of model decision it’s going to be too late then.

Thank you for your kind attention. I now return you the the rest of the edition.

 

NOTICE

The Southeastern Convention for POFWHNSNW (People Over Fifty Who Have Never Said the “N-Word”) will be held in the phone booth at the corner of Peachtree St. and Ponce De Leon Ave in Atlanta on Monday, July 8 at 8 AM.

We apologize for the oversized accommodations, but a smaller venue could not be secured.

I believe Paula Dean will be there to call all attending liars.

Science answers how & why the Kansas Crows died

I heard that they found about 200 dead crows near Topeka , KS and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

They had a Bird Pathologist examine the remains of all the crows, & he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, to everyone’s relief.

However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, & only 2% were killed by an impact with a car. Kansas then hired an Ornithological Behaviorist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.

The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order. When crows eat road kill, they always set up a lookout Crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that all the lookout crows could say “Cah”, but none could say “Truck.”

Have a nice day.. You don’t have to thank me for this information.

“Late again!” the third-grade teacher sternly said to little Ranger.

“It ain’t my fault this time, Miss Russell. You can blame this ‘un on my Daddy. The reason I’m three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!”

Now, Miss Russell had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Ranger what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Ranger and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth. “You see, Miss Russell, out at the farm we got this here low down fox. The last few nights, he done ate six hens. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his double barreled shot gun and said to my Ma, “That fox is back again… I’m a gonna git him!”

“Stay back,” Daddy whispered to all us kids!

“My Daddy was naked as a jaybird — no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double-barreled 12-gauge shot gun through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with a fox on his mind, our old hound dog, Rip, had done gone and woke up and comes sneaking up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Rip done went and stuck his cold nose in my Daddy’s crack!”

“Miss Russell, we all been cleanin’ chickens since three o’clock this mornin!”

POEM:

A Texas Blessing:

Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry. Please keep it cool in mid-July.
Bless the walls where termites dine, while ants and roaches march in time.
Bless our yard where spiders pass fire ant castles in the grass.

Bless the garage, a home to please carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
Bless the love bugs, two by two,
Bless the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.

Millions of creatures that fly or crawl, in Texas, Lord, you’ve put them all!
But this is home, and here we’ll stay,
So thank you Lord, for insect spray

When it came to Impish they had to stencil that on a weather balloon!

Nothing quite like truth in advertising!

 

The caption reads “Nikon SDD captures up to 12 faces and 2 jugs”

Why I’m featuring this at this particular time should be obvious, too many entities think they have the right to invade our privacy and personal lives sans so much as a may I or any public notification that it might be happening. The reason should be more obvious after today’s Parting Shot but unfortunately it always comes last in an issue so you’ll have to excuse this being a bit of a cart in front of the horse situation.

How to Stop Google from Keeping a Record of Every Search You Make

Do you use Gmail, the Chrome browser, or other Google service? Then Google may be keeping a record of every search query you make. That’s right; if you have a Google account, Google may know everything you ever looked for on the web. That is, unless you turn off Google’s collecting of all your searches and clean out the web history they’ve kept. Here’s how.

Turn off Google Web History

1. Go to the web page https://history.google.com
2. Sign in to your Google account if you aren’t already signed in.
3. Click the gear icon in the upper right corner (example shown in figure on the right).
4. Choose “Settings”’
5. The page that opens contains the section shown in the figure below.
6. Click the button “Turn off” to stop Google collecting the data. If you change your mind, you can always turn Web History back on.

Delete items in Google Web History

1. Previously collected data will still be there. To remove it, click the link contained in the word “delete” in the sentence, “You can also delete all past Google search activity or remove particular items from your recent activity.” The link is hard to see and I have highlighted it in yellow in the figure. 
2. You will get a dialog box asking if you want to delete all items
3. Click the button “Delete All”
4. You can also delete only selected items by using the link contained in the phrase “recent activity” as indicated in the figure

Now if you’ve already somehow switched this function off (and possibly forgotten you had like I did) you’ll see a much different page that looks like this:

If you can see the two areas I’ve circled in red you’re home free Google is not tracking your searches, they can only be accessed from your computer itself…and of course by the NSA’s monitoring of your activities via your Internet Service Provider

What does Google do with this data? Why, they sell the information to advertisers, of course. Or maybe, they also give it to the government. Who knows?

 

We can take things one step further in securing our search privacy as well.

Use the Search Engine Called StartPage to Protect Your Privacy

Updated 15. July 2013 – 16:10 by v.laurie  http://www.techsupportalert.com/content/use-search-engine-called-startpage-protect-your-privacy.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+gizmosbest+%28Gizmo%27s+Best-ever+Freeware%29

 

Are you concerned about all the tracking of what we do on the internet? Would you like to use Google search but don’t want Google recording where you are and what searches you make? Then give a try to the search engine “StartPage”.

StartPage is based in the Netherlands and says that they are not subject to government snooping. According to their privacy statement, no records of user data are kept. They do not know who you are. Your IP and geographical location are not recorded. No tracking cookies are used. So they have no information to give to anybody, even if they are asked.

Start Page actually uses Google for its searches but acts as an intermediary to protect your privacy. When you search with StartPage, all identifying information from your query is removed and it is submitted anonymously to Google. StartPage then gets the results back and relays them to you.

Because there are extra steps and information has to go back and forth through an intermediary, searching will be slower. I suspect StartPage is getting a lot more traffic because of recent revelations about NSA. Page loading may be slow but, if privacy is a concern for you, this is a search engine that is worth looking at.

The link for StartPage search is here. Their privacy statement is at this link.

Start page when you ‘install it’ gets added to the list of search engines available to you (there is a pull down next to the search bar in your browser I suggest choosing the ‘secure’ option (Https://) to make eavesdropping and interception as difficult as possible.

 

When you have an   “I Hate My Job Day”

Even if you’re retired, you sometimes have those days.   Try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase   a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.   Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.   Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken   Now the fun part begins.   Take out the literature from the box and  read it carefully .   You will notice that in small print there is this statement:

“Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is  personally tested   and then sanitized.” Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,‘ I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.’

HAVE A NICE DAY; AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A   PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS!

If you haven’t got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart…Maybe you should go and work for Johnson and Johnson!

Shop like Harry Potter with Google Street View

Street View has shown you all sorts of magical places in our world.  Now, Google has even more magic up its sleeves!

Its latest Street View adventure takes you Harry Potter’s famed Diagon Alley. You can grab a discount broom at 2nd Hand Brooms or a potion from Madam Primpernelle. You can even down a drink at The Leaky Cauldron!

Your imagination is really the only limit. What sort of weird sights do you see?

maps.google.co.uk

   

In the interest of not putting myself out both because its hot and because my honey do list just went on to side 2 of a legal pad I’m going to allow my previous comments in todays Cyber Security Alert serve as my comments here as well.

Wait Till Somebody Exposes the Spying on Individuals That We Marketers Do

What Happens When Consumers Figure Out We’re Watching Them?

By: Jonathan Salem Baskin Published: July 10, 2013

 There’s probably more to come from Edward Snowden’s unfolding expose of U.S. government spying, but polls suggest that Americans are already resigned to trade some privacy in exchange for identifying terrorists. It’s a bureaucracy doing it, after all, so it’s probably done poorly, and it’s not as if the government doesn’t already scrutinize our tax records, register every piece of snail mail we post and, in some states, make us jump through extraordinary hoops to do things like vote and exercise rights otherwise guaranteed by the Constitution.

But what happens if consumers figure out how regularly, deeply and expertly we marketers track their behaviors, and in doing so blur the line between between convenience and manipulation?

Our snooping puts the National Security Agency to shame. From the level of the internet service provider, through to social-media platforms and websites, and including apps, ads and clickable content (like videos), we collect a vast amount of information on consumers’ online behavior (and their geophysical location), then use it to tee-up search results, info and ads to millions of people millions of times every day … ideally to each one of them uniquely so. We don’t do it to keep anybody safe, however. We do it to sell stuff. It’s the mercenary make-money benefit we gain through all of that non-commercial friending and conversing we do with consumers.

We call it “improving user experience,” and not only are entire business monetization plans based on it (like Facebook), it’s the driver of our hopes for Big Data selling things to people who no longer want to be sold to. Yet the only time we talk about it is when we ask consumers to accept usage terms, and then only in the dense secret code of mouseprint that is to disclosure what James Joyce’s “Ulysses” is to clarity. We tell them little, hope they’ll understand even less, and then we have the audacity to claim that they’re OK with it when we ask them.

Granted, Millennials seem somewhat lax with their personal info, but they tend to join other age groups in disapproval of data gathering and manipulation, at least when its explicit details are revealed to them. Yet companies are investing many millions in some serious fantasies of controlling their pathways to purchasing the stuff we make, to the level of automating our marketing so we don’t necessarily have to sell so much as crunch their usage data and nudge them to buy things without them (or us) being consciously aware of it.

Our hope is that they’ll stay unaware of the information they give away or, at worst, maintain a belief that it’s worth doing so in exchange for ads and other content that’s somewhat pre-qualified to be interesting to them. But there’s a fine line between convenience and manipulation, and the foundational idea of “consumer choice” loses its meaning if that choice isn’t truly free. If we didn’t think that blurring that line was a potential bomb, why are we so shy about discussing it, and almost congenitally incapable of making sure that consumers understand the breadth and depth (and outcomes) of our snooping?

Just like the NSA’s programs, it can’t stay secret forever. Imagine if a commercially-savvy whistle-blower emerged with detailed proof of how user data were collected, shared and then exploited by a variety of businesses and, somehow, connected it back to illustrate the ways consumer choices are limited, while unfairly promoting purchases. What if The Yes Men, AdBusters, or some other, new culture-busting group chose to attack data tools with publicity stunts and videos that got peoples’ attention? If libertarian-minded politicos get a greater voice in Washington next year, could there be regulations requiring more transparency and disclosure, and would the revelations freak out the folks who think they’re OK with being watched?

Technology may already be bringing that day closer, with growing awareness of old standbys like Tor’s anonymous browser and the “don’t-track-me” settings in its mainstream competitors. I just downloaded something called DoNotTrackMe, which tells me all of the services scraping info about me when I visit web pages (it’s shocking). In response to the NSA revelations, CyanogenMod is developing a feature to block personal data collection from android users. I’m convinced that kids are in garages right now coming up with killer apps to help consumers even better hide from the brands that claim to want to help them.

We marketers don’t talk about this issue much, probably because it’s so complicated and thorny. But it haunts our best hopes for the future. And, while people may let Snowden’s tale end up a somewhat distant espionage adventure, the scarier story is what’s done to every consumer in the name of efficient commerce. Without a far more creative and strategic approach to telling it, I fear others (or other events) will tell it for brands.

That story doesn’t have a happy ending.

Okay, to Kris and the others who contacted me off line to let me know that the links weren’t working as they were supposed to… I’ve got no logical explanation other than that I’ve pissed off some electrons somewhere and they are paying me back.  Please don’t click on the imbedded links, go to the website at http://dragonlaffs.com and go to the right hand column and click where it says to donate.

Again, on behalf of myself and the electrons that I’ve obviously pissed off, I apologize and hope that you will still consider buying us a cup of coffee.

To those of you who have donated, thank you so very much for all your generosity!  It is truly needed and appreciated.

Impish

Good Morning Campers.  Today marks the one week anniversary of this years push for donations and I have to tell you….it ain’t going so well.  Not that we haven’t had a couple of very generous donations.  We have and I’d like to thank those of you who have donated.
But sadly, we need more folks.
So today, we are starting a new push.  And it’s called, buy a dragon or a leprechaun a Starbucks.  The average price of a Starbucks coffee is $4.25.  If everyone of you reading today gave $4, less than the price of a coffee, we’d have more than enough to see us through!  Now, come on.  Can’t you afford the price of a good cup of coffee for us?  Are we not worth four bucks a year?  That’s all we’re asking.  Go to the website at http://dragonlaffs.com go to the right hand column and click on the donation link.  It’ll bring you through PayPal and they’ll take a lousy four bills out of your credit card or checking account and we’ll end up with three dollars and change and more importantly, we’ll keep the blog going for another year.  It’s really not that much to ask. 

Thanks to my dad for this great joke…

Rugged Outdoor Woman

During her physical examination, a doctor asked a retired woman about
her physical activity level. The woman said she spent 3 days a week,
every week in the outdoors. “Well, yesterday afternoon was typical; I
took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I
waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through 2 miles of
brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes. I barely avoided stepping
on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I went to the bathroom behind
some big trees. I ran away from an irate mother bear and then ran away
from one angry bull Elk. The mental stress of it all left me shattered.
At the end of it all I drank a scotch and three glasses of wine. Amazed
by the story, the doctor said, “You must be one hell of an outdoor
woman!” “No,” the woman replied,

“I’m just a really, really shitty golfer”.

Okay, really?  The news anchor, editor, guy who puts the words on the screen, NOBODY realized what those names REALLY said?  This hilarious video shows a News Anchor giving out the names of the pilots and then on the next show, retracting them.  And they vote!  Can you believe it?

 

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.

“Okay,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”

The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”

And then she went back to reading her book.

 

Okay, all together….Awwwwwww!!!

DragonLaffs is another good one.
Don’t run out of DragonLaffs by donating today.
The link is up the top on the right.
As for the other- good luck your on your own!

 

 

My damn brother gets all the good print!

Here’s a great video from our dear friend Kim Komando!  How close are we to actually wearing our computers?  Maybe closer than you think.  Yes, you have to go to the website to view this video, and while you’re there, why not click on the donation link and donate us a Starbucks coffee?  http://dragonlaffs.com

Okay, so this one is absolutely great! This Norwegian groom-to-be is deathly afraid of heights. So naturally, his groomsmen decided to take him bungee jumping for his bachelor party. This prank is the last thing he was expecting! But the results are hilarious.  And yup, you gotta go to the website, so why not buy us a coffee while you’re there?

A drunk walked into a bar crying. One of the other men in the bar asked him what happened. “I did a terrible thing,” sniffed the drunk, “Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort.” “That is awful,” said the other guy, “And now that she is gone you want her back right?” “Right!” said the drunk, still crying. “You’re sorry you sold her because you realised, too late, that you still loved her,right?” “Oh, No,” said the drunk. I want her back because I’m thirsty again!”

This long line of people are queueing up to get served in a shop. Suddenly one bloke starts massaging the person in front’s back. The other bloke immediately turns round and says to him, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The bloke behind tells him, “Well, I’m a chiropractor and I can’t help myself. I can’t help practicing my art.” “Are you crazy?” says the bloke in front, “I’m a lawyer, but do you see me f**king the bloke in front of me?”

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!” He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

“This little computer,” said the sales clerk, “will do half of your job for you.” Studying the machine, the senior VP said, “Fine, I’ll take two.”

 

 

 

 

A man who had been in a mental home for some years finally seemed to have improved to the point where it was thought he might be released. The head of the institution, in a fit of commendable caution, decided, however, to interview him first. “Tell me,” said he, “if we release you, as we are considering doing, what do you intend to do with your life?’ The inmate said, “It would be wonderful to get back to real life and if I do, I will certainly refrain from making my former mistake. I was a nuclear physicist, you know, and it was the stress of my work in weapons research that helped put me here. If I am released, I shall confine myself to work in pure theory, where I trust the situation will be less difficult and stressful.” “Marvelous,” said the head of the institution. “Or else,” ruminated the inmate. “I might teach. There is something to be said for spending one’s life in bringing up a new generation of scientists.” “Absolutely,” said the head. “Then again, I might write. There is considerable need for books on science for the general public. Or I might even write a novel based on my experiences in this fine institution.” “An interesting possibility,” said the head. “And finally, if none of these things appeals to me, I can always continue to be a teakettle.”

George was describing his new secretary enthusiastically to the family at dinner: “She’s efficient, personable, clever, punctual, and darned attractive, to boot. In short, she’s a real doll!” “A doll?” said his wife. “A doll!” re-emphasized George. At which point, their five-year-old daughter, who knew about dolls, looked up from her broccoli to ask: “And does she close her eyes when you lay her down, Daddy?”

Today marks the one year anniversary of the Aurora, Colorado movie theater shootings.

Saturday marks 1-year anniversary of Aurora movie theater shootings

By The Associated Press

AURORA, Colo. — It is not a small club, the survivors of the shootings at Theater 9.

The Century 16 auditorium was packed — 421 men, women and children who had turned out for a midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises.” When a bizarre figure, helmeted and clad in black, appeared before them in a cloud of smoke, they reacted with bemusement and amazement, shock and confusion and — finally — horror.

Twelve people died, 70 were injured, and more than 300 fled into the night and into the arms of loved ones.

A year later, the survivors cannot forget their terror, or the injuries they suffered, or their losses. But they search for meaning, and sometimes find it: the victims whose faith has strengthened; the father who lost his son but found a cause; the couple who believe that the anniversary of a hateful act can be transformed by love.

For the rest of this great article,
We here at DL&LL Electronic Media wish to offer our heartfelt sympathies and prayers on the anniversary of your loss.
So, what the hell is wrong with our society?  We really have our priorities screwed up.

Ain’t it the sad, sad truth.  We need to wake up folks.