Leprechaun Laughs # 204 for 31 July 2013


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Wow! Last Day of July already! Summer is flying by! Come the end of August we’ll be 3/4 through with the year already and it seems like it just started. I guess once you’re ‘over the hill’ the hand basket to hell really DOES pick up speed!

We’d better get started before anymore time escapes us!

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coffee zombie

I know a few households where I don’t doubt this is possible.

!cid_6AF8091A35DA4DF7854799279BB469DA@WydockPC

A very well-built young lady was lying on her psychiatrist’s couch, telling him how frustrated she was.

“I tried to be an actress and failed,” she complained.
“I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed;
then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too.”

The shrink thought for a moment and said… “Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don’t you try nursing?”

The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says… “Well go ahead, I’ll give it a try!”

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(CNN) — Musician JJ Cale, whose songs “Cocaine” and “After Midnight” were made famous by Eric Clapton, died Friday after suffering a heart attack, the president of his management agency said. His contemporaries considered him a legend, even if many fans weren’t familiar with his name. He was 74.

“JJ Cale was loved by fans worldwide for his completely unpretentious and beautiful music,” said Mike Kappus, president of the Rosebud Agency. “He was loved even more dearly by all those he came in contact with as the most real and down-to-earth person we all knew.”

Lynyrd Skynyrd made Cale’s song “Call Me The Breeze” famous, and bands including Santana, The Allman Brothers, Johnny Cash, and many others covered his songs.

He won a Grammy for his 2006 album with Clapton, called The Road to Escondido.

“He was incredibly humble and avoided the spotlight at all costs but will be missed by anyone touched by him directly or indirectly,” Kappus said. “Luckily, his music lives on.”

He was living in Tulsa and had given up on making money in the record business when his career was suddenly made by Clapton’s cover of “After Midnight.”

Other musicians who covered Cale’s work include The Band, Chet Atkins, Freddie King, Maria Muldaur and Captain Beefheart, according to his biography, which also notes he was asked whether it bothered him that fellow musicians considered him a legend while many fans did not even know his name.

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” Cale said. “What’s really nice is when you get a check in the mail.”

The singer-songwriter passed away at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, his official website said.

There were no immediate plans for funeral services, it said.

DL Introspection Header

NYC Mayoral Candidate & confirmed sextexter Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner has shown us two things in the last week (well ok, THREE if you count the obvious one we’d all rather NOT see):

1.) He said at the beginning of his campaign it was possible that more examples of his sextexing and photos of his junk were likely to emerge during his run for mayor and there were. This clearly demonstrates that there ARE politicians capable of keeping their campaign promises– rare as that might be.

2.) That we CAN get back at the NSA for spying on us and make them regret it. To wit:

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Dats Just Cool

So you say you have developed a gluten allergy but you desperately miss your midnight snack  Elvis Sandwiches [grilled peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwich] ? NO PROBLEMO!

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The Curmudgeonly Chef has your back with a simple solution! Who needs the bread anyway?

SPRAY-ON SUPERHYDROPHOBIC COATING

This awesome spray-on coating can make any material completely waterproof! Imagine shoes that never get wet, clothes that never get stained! It’s called Rust-Oleum NeverWet, and it just became available at stores.

Can’t see it in your e-mail? TOUGH!~ You know where the blog is–Dragonlaffs.com Why aren’t you reading it there to start with?

 

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That car is actually a vehicle wrap graphic applied to the van

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Drunks & Winos are going to be having nightmares for weeks!

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Now THAT is a wall mural!

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Celtic Consumer Warnings

 

GOP’s Issa, US Postal Service Plan End to Home Delivery

Tuesday, 23 Jul 2013 11:03 AM By Melanie Batley

Mail delivery to the doorstep may be a thing of the past as lawmakers consider ways to cut costs to save the cash-strapped U.S. Postal Service, which lost $16 billion in 2012.
According to
CNN Money, the agency is working toward a more “centralized delivery” approach in which residents pick up their mail from a mailbox at the curb or at clusters of mailboxes within their neighborhoods.

The practice already is being adopted for new houses and developments, and some House Republicans want it rolled out universally.
“A balanced approach to saving the Postal Service means allowing USPS to adapt to America’s changing use of mail,” said Rep. Darrell Issa, the California Republican leading the House effort to save the Postal Service.
Doing away with doorstep delivery has become a central part of Issa’s proposal to save money. Ending door-to-door deliveries would save $4.5 billion a year from the $30 billion the mail service currently spends on delivery.
How? Right now, 35 million residences and businesses get mail delivered to their doorstep. CNN reports that it costs $353 per stop for a delivery in most American cities, taking into account such things as salaries and cost of transport.
Curbside-mailbox delivery costs $224, and cluster boxes cost $160, according to a report from the Postal Service Office of Inspector General cited by CNN.
In addition to the $16 billion lost by the agency last year, it twice defaulted on payments owed to the federal government to prefund retiree healthcare benefits totaling $11 billion. The agency also has exhausted a $15 billion line of credit from the U.S. Treasury.
Nevertheless, the plan has received criticism from unions, which say it would be disruptive for the elderly and disabled, and from others who claim it would be inconvenient and possibly unsafe.
“It’s madness,” Jim Sauber, chief of staff for the National Association of Letter Carriers, told CNN. “The idea that somebody is going to walk down to their mailbox in Buffalo, N.Y., in the winter snow to get their mail is just crazy.”
Others, such as industry groups, support the idea as an alternative to the proposal of cutting Saturday service, which the service floated earlier this year before reversing the decision.

The Postal Service also continues to struggle with mail volume, especially drops in first-class mail, its big revenue driver, as more Americans move to electronic bill-pay and e-mail. To many critics, the service has become little more than a junk-mail delivery service.

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Maybe we can get the USPS to issue a stamp like the above

Word From Sponsor

What’s that? You’re tired of seeing this section every issue?

Well I’m tired of it too! Tired of chasing Impish to find out if I need to include it, tired of swallowing my pride to write it, tired of hearing how few and meager the donations are (NOT that we do not accept ALL donations gratefully but it IS disheartening).

Tired of discussing with Impish how in the hell we’re going to cover the gap between donations and the costs of doing this and I’m DAMNED tired of not even making enough extra to buy a lousy cup of inferior over priced coffee when I see all these other subscription sites raking it in.

We’re not asking to make 2 livings off of this, we’re not even asking for it to pay like a part time job (which it IS), we just want to stop bleeding our money into it and make it self sustaining.

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

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Here’s your chance to prove to us that  Impish & I chose the brighter audience.

Make a small donation towards keeping us going today won’t you? Your waist line can do without a fast food lunch for one day out of the week and both it and we will thank you for it!

  • Donate to keep us free

  • Bottom line: We need another $75 to just cover everything associated with this blog. Neither of us can really afford to come up with it.  If we can get that we don’t have to write these pleas anymore and you don’t have to read them.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bottle of Listerine- the original kind. I’m hoping it washes the taste of begging out of my mouth but I doubt it.

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    Lethal Libations

    Haven’t done a Libation in a while and now that we’re all sweltering it’s high time for a cooling adult beverage that will take you back to your youth.

    This one is so simple and easy that there are only 3 items and no directions. In fact the recipe is a photo!

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    deep-in-thought-500

    A sure way to reduce gun violence

    In 1865 a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln.

    In 1964 a communist – turned Democrat – killed John F. Kennedy.

    In 1983 a registered Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan.

    In 2007 a registered Democrat named Seung-Hui Cho shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech.

    In 2010 a mentally ill registered Democrat named Jared Lee Loughner shot Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and killed 6 others.

    In 2011 registered Democrat James Holmes shot and killed 12 people in a movie theater.

    In 2013 registered Democrat Adam Lanza shot and killed 26 people in a school.

    One could go on but you get the point, even if the media does not.
    Clearly, there is a problem with Democrats and their owning guns.
    Each year thousands are murdered in Chicago.
    Most of the dead and the killers are African-Americans.
    The same can be said of every large city in America.
    Blacks voted for Obama to the tune of 97%. They are all Democrats.

    SOLUTION:

    It should simply be illegal for Democrats to own guns.

    Take the guns from Democrats and you’ve just reduced gun crime by 97%.

    Reduce gun crime by 97% and the US will have better crime statistics than any other nation on the planet.

    As an added bonus Democrats since they will be unable to own weapons will have scored a compromise weapons ban and no longer be constantly harping to the damned Second Amendment issue and Congress just MIGHT accidentally accomplish something! Good enough, no?

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    Simpson-Doh

    WILDLIFE GETS EVERMORE TALENTED: “Man Shoots Pictures of Wolf Chasing Him   on Motorcycle in Canada” — AP headline

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    doing it right

    WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS: Jayden Sink set up a lemonade stand in   Topeka, Kan., to raise money for charity. She had seen the “Equality House” there, says her father, Jon. “She saw pictures of it and thought it was the most beautiful house in the world,” he said, and the
      organization which owns the rainbow-flag-painted house said sure: she could set up her stand on its lawn. That presented the organization
      across the street, the Westboro Baptist Church, “a great preaching
      opportunity,” said Jonathan Phelps, son of WBC founder Fred Phelps Sr.

      “Because every time you tell the story about the lemonade,” he  continued, “you have to tell about the eternal hatred and wrath of God towards the impenitent sinner, and the popular sin of the day is the sin of sodomy.”

    Jayden was attracting a crowd so Church members harassed her to get her to leave, but she wouldn’t budge from her goal to raise $500 for her charity. “She was right in front of this hate group,” said a neighbor who witnessed the harassment. “She was unfazed and unafraid, and they are so very vile and rude to people.” Jayden, who is 5 years old, is not promoting sodomy. Rather, she is raising   money to educate children about bullying. So far, she has raised more   than $22,000. (RC/KCTV Kansas City).

    She’ll unfortunately need a lot more than that to educate WBC members about bullying. Here is someone else trying to show them the depths of their stupidity too. Too bad I’m positive it was a water off the duck’s back situation

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    Limerick Laughs

    In the Garden of Eden, as everyone knows,
    Lived Adam and Eve, without any clothes.
    In this garden, were two little leaves,
    One covered Adam’s, one covered Eve’s.

    As the story goes on, never the less to say,
    the wind came along, and blew the leaves away.
    At the sight, Adam did stare,
    There was Eve’s treasure, all covered with hair.

    And wonder came, under Eve’s eyes,
    As Adam’s thing, started to rise.
    They found a spot, that suited them best,
    A nice big tree, where they began to rest.

    Her legs spread wider, and wider apart,
    While thrill after thrill, came into her heart.
    The head of Adam’s thing, peeked into the hole,
    And filled her with passion, beyond her control.

    Backward and forward, his thing did slide,
    And Eve’s treasure, was all wet inside.
    The joy was good, she wouldn’t let loose,
    Until Adam’s thing, was all out of juice.

    Then down through the years, people did screw,
    And now it is time, for me and you.
    So pull down your pants, and lay in the grass,
    Because I’m in the mood for a piece of that ass!

    !cid_5_3484351157@web161504_mail_bf1_yahoo

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    How Microsoft handed the NSA access to encrypted messages

    • Secret files show scale of Silicon Valley co-operation on Prism
    • Outlook.com encryption unlocked even before official launch
    • Skype worked to enable Prism collection of video calls
    • Company says it is legally compelled to comply

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jul/11/microsoft-nsa-collaboration-user-data

    Since Prism’s existence became public, Microsoft and the other companies listed on the NSA documents as providers have denied all knowledge of the program and insisted that the intelligence agencies do not have back doors into their systems.

    The files provided by Edward Snowden illustrate the scale of co-operation between Silicon Valley and the intelligence agencies over the last three years. They also shed new light on the workings of the top-secret Prism program, which was disclosed by the Guardian and the Washington Post last month.

    The documents show that:

    • Microsoft helped the NSA to circumvent its encryption to address concerns that the agency would be unable to intercept web chats on the new Outlook.com portal;

    • The agency already had pre-encryption stage access to email on Outlook.com, including Hotmail;

    • In July last year, nine months after Microsoft bought Skype, the NSA boasted that a new capability had tripled the amount of Skype video calls being collected through Prism;

    • Material collected through Prism is routinely shared with the FBI and CIA, with one NSA document describing the program as a “team sport”.

    The latest NSA revelations further expose the tensions between Silicon Valley and the Obama administration. All the major tech firms are lobbying the government to allow them to disclose more fully the extent and nature of their co-operation with the NSA to meet their customers’ privacy concerns. Privately, tech executives are at pains to distance themselves from claims of collaboration and teamwork given by the NSA documents, and insist the process is driven by legal compulsion.

    In a statement, Microsoft said: “When we upgrade or update products we aren’t absolved from the need to comply with existing or future lawful demands.” The company reiterated its argument that it provides customer data “only in response to government demands and we only ever comply with orders for requests about specific accounts or identifiers”.

    In June, the Guardian revealed that the NSA claimed to have “direct access” through the Prism program to the systems of many major internet companies, including Microsoft, Skype, Apple, Google, Facebook and Yahoo.

    Microsoft’s latest marketing campaign, launched in April, emphasizes its commitment to privacy with the slogan: “Your privacy is our priority.”

    Similarly, Skype’s privacy policy states: “Skype is committed to respecting your privacy and the confidentiality of your personal data, traffic data and communications content.”

    But internal NSA newsletters, marked top secret, suggest the co-operation between the intelligence community and the companies is deep and ongoing.

    From where I sit there are 2 clear winners when it come to the issue of domestic spying on US citizen who have not been accused of a crime.

    1.) Al Qaida who has succeeded in causing a situation which forced the government to take away yet another of the personal freedoms this nation was founded on and moves it one step closer to life under the oppressive thumb of Sharia Law in which thoughts, behavior, morals and actions are all rigorously monitored/dictated and transgressions ruthlessly  zealously and archaically punished.

    2.) The Liberals. Capitalizing on terrorism and under the guise of keeping us safe they are finally achieving their Orwellian 1984 Big Brother utopian society dream. Too bad about them stubborn & pesky gun owners though.

    MICROSOFT NEEDS TO BE SENT A CLEAR MESSAGE that this sort of behavior cannot and WILL not be tolerated. They are guilty of selling you false expectations of privacy in your communications. From where I sit that is FRAUD. Further they, as far as I can find NEVER once updated their privacy statements or  Terms & Conditions For Use to reflect ANY of this. I also see conspiracy to violate or Civil Rights here as well. MICROSOFT SHOULD BE THE SUBJECT OF A CLASS ACTION SUIT.

    Further we can hit them and hit them HARD in their bottom line by not buying Microsoft products. There ARE other Operating Systems and programs out there, other cellphones. IF for just 3 months NOBODY bought a single product that had any remote association with Microsoft the effect would be catastrophic and devastating in its second and third order effects.

    You can BET that when it came to a choice between surviving as a Corporate entity of being the NSA’s pet butt monkey Microsoft would choose survival and cease co-operating outside the scope of any court orders.

    Irish & Good Looking

    Ninja Sig

    About lethalleprechaun

    I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
    This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

    One Response to Leprechaun Laughs # 204 for 31 July 2013

    1. james taylor says:

      i do not have a credit card or pay pal. however if i had a mailing address i would donate. jim

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