Dragon Laffs #1341


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Good Morning Campers.  Or perhaps I should say good evening.  It is actually 12:30 Saturday Morning as I’m writing this, since I’ve been crazy busy and then feeling under the weather today, I slept a good portion of the day so now I’m wide awake.  (Hi Diaman, I know your waiting…)

Anyway, lots and lots of videos in today’s issue.  Yes, you will have to go to the website at http://dragonlaffs.com to watch them.  They are well worth it.  And while you’re there, why not buy us a cup of coffee.  Donate $4 to save our website by clicking on the paypal link in the right hand column. 

And speaking of donations, I wish to thank all of you who’ve stepped up to the plate to help pay our bills for our website.  Those of you who’ve decided to help keep us free.  Not only free from ads, but free from subscription costs.  Because of your generosity, we’ve been able to keep this website free from ads and subscription costs for over six years.  Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generosity.

We aren’t quite there yet this year, but we’re close.  I would like to make one final plea for donations, to put us over the edge and make us solvent for another year.  Please check the couch cushions again, dig down for that extra cup of coffee, check the car seats for change.  Don’t be the one who hasn’t given and is still enjoying the campground.  Okay, that’s all I’m going to say about it.  Thanks for all  you’ve done.

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Okay, this is just too good not to share!  From our dear friend’s website, Kim Komando…and yes, if you want to watch this great video, you have to go to the website.  I’ll even give you a short cut: http://dragonlaffs.com And while you’re there, why not buy us a cup of coffee?

Today, I start with a cartoon that is just horrible!  HORRIBLE!! When you think about it, I’m sure you’ll agree!

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coollogo_com-83606855_thumb50Okay, not necessarily a dragon, but a dragon like creature just the same.

This is absolutely incredible!  Which car would survive a crash better?  A 1959 Chevy Bel Air or a 2009 Chevy Malibu?  I think, the older, heavier car would destroy the newer one made out plastic and aluminum.  Don’t you?
And again….you have to go to the website to view the video.  Again, I’ll give you a link to the website, but do me a favor, buy me a cuppa while you’re there… http://dragonlaffs.com

Well, WE WERE WRONG!!!

1959 Chevrolet Bel Air vs. 2009 Chevrolet Malibu crash test

Uploaded on Jul 15, 2010

IIHS 50th anniversary demonstration test • September 9, 2009

In the 50 years since US insurers organized the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, car crashworthiness has improved. Demonstrating this was a crash test conducted between a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air and a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu. In a real-world collision similar to this test, occupants of the new model would fare much better than in the vintage Chevy.

“It was night and day, the difference in occupant protection,” says Institute president Adrian Lund. “What this test shows is that automakers don’t build cars like they used to. They build them better.”

The crash test was conducted at an event to celebrate the contributions of auto insurers to highway safety progress over 50 years. Beginning with the Institute’s 1959 founding, insurers have maintained the resolve, articulated in the 1950s, to “conduct, sponsor, and encourage programs designed to aid in the conservation and preservation of life and property from the hazards of highway accidents.”

More information at http://www.iihs.org/50th/default.html

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Question:  What are the three great American parties?

Answer:  Democratic, Republican and Tupperware.

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Here’s a couple of really funny ones….and do I really have to use the words website and cup of coffee?

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Another great video.  Amazingly, many people thought this one was a real product.   Just goes to show how silly our public really is.

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DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!!

It’s good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

THIS INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT.   AN IMPORTANT WARNING TO US ALL!!!

  I use shampoo in the shower!   When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body.

I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out sooner! Printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, “FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME.”
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No wonder I have been gaining weight!   So I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn Dishwashing Soap. It’s label reads, “DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE.”
.

Problem solved!

If I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!

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IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE,

DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

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galoots
legal
lol
meet
nerds
dragon 3

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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants. The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough,
because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

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President Obama saluted William and Kate on the birth of their
boy on Monday. The president’s party descends from the Tories.
Democrats love the Royal Family because they display the life
that’s possible when you live off the government and keep
having kids. He told him to hang on to the birth certificate as
those things come in handy.


Experts are predicting that the royal baby could pump $380
million into the British economy. So the question is: How do
we get this kid to move to Detroit?


While Prince George was born on Monday, he didn’t officially have
a name until Wednesday.  With such indecisiveness, instead of
being a king, Prince William should become a U.S. Congressman.

 

InNorth Carolina, it will soon become legal to bring guns into bars,
and to leave them in cars on college campuses. Well, that should
at least cut down on college football players in the state
beingarrested.

 

A new book claims that Jimmy Carter is the former President most
targeted by threats. People are shocked. Who even remembers that
Jimmy Carter used to be President?

 

A court has ruled that services that allow consumers to avoid
watching commercials don’t violate copyrights. In fact they are
much safer as not as many people are shooting their TV sets
when Flo the insurance woman comes on.

 

A report says that Obamacare won’t slash workers’ hours. Mostly
because people will have to work so much longer to be able to
afford to pay for their health insurance.

 

Apoll says that Americans are dissatisfied with Washington and
the economy. The only question is figuring out which one is more
responsible for ruining the other?

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WOW!  Spectacular!  Give it time to load:

Montreal Mosaicultures Show
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/montrealshow.html

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Pun Queen

I’d love to recruit a bunch of porn stars to join me in a charity event for world unity, because nothing would satisfy me more than all of us coming together 
How many animals can you fit in a pair of pantyhose?  15: 10 little pigs, 2 calves, an ass, a beaver, and a fish nobody can find.
I wonder if the person who invented the vibrator was moved to act by ghostly voices chanting, “If you build it, they will come.” 

 BANK CLERKS are tellers

CAMPERS do it in a tent
 
CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.
 
CHEMISTS like to experiment.
 
CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.
 
COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.
 
I got raped by an alligator the other day. I think I have Gator-Ades.

For some reason, the Las Vegas security people didn’t think my putting the giant Baby Ruth candy bars in the commodes was funny. After all, I was just trying to sweeten the pot.

 Copulation:  Sex between two consenting police officers.
 
I‘d like to point out that ‘beautiful’ has ‘U’ in it, but ‘quickie’ has ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.
 
Women fake orgasms to have relationships. Men fake relationships to have orgasms.
Are you going to the donkey roast tonight? It should be a lot of fun. Everybody gets a piece of ass.
 
         What would you do if you had a condom with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket? I don’t know, but I do know that I wouldn’t screw with either one of them

A report shows sex toy sales have increased. Buyers discover it takes a while to pump the inflatables. And putting air in them is a chore too. 

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Well, it’s announced as good news for us!  And I suppose, in a way, it is good news.  But see if you can catch the catch. 

House Passes Measures to Prohibit Furloughs at DoD

  • The House on Tuesday night approved two anti-furlough amendments to the 2014 Defense Appropriations Bill. The first bipartisan amendment, proposed by Reps. Douglas Lamborn of Colorado and Beto O’Rourke of Texas, would prohibit the Department of Defense from imposing furloughs on civilian DoD employees in FY2014. The second bipartisan amendment, proposed by Tom Cole of Oklahoma and Derek Kilmer of Washington, would prohibit DoD from furloughing civilian employees who work in working capital funded entities.

Okay, so you didn’t see it there… try this, similar, article from another source:

ArmyTimes.com
July 24, 2013

House Votes To Block More DoD Furloughs In 2014
Move could force more budget cuts in other programs

By Rick Maze, Staff writer

The House added a whole new wrinkle to concerns about military readiness and budget cuts on Tuesday by passing legislation barring furloughs for civilian workers in fiscal 2014.

Passed by voice vote as an amendment to the 2014 defense appropriations bill, the legislation sponsored by Rep. Doug Lamborn, R-Colo., prohibits the Defense department from spending any money to implement civilian furloughs beginning Oct. 1, 2013.

Lamborn said the vote is “a first step toward restoring sanity to the defense budget and restoring pay to our nation’s civilian defense workers.”

Although the amendment was bipartisan, Lamborn still took a dig at the White House, saying he proposed the legislation “to make sure the Obama administration can no longer play politics with the lives and jobs of our civilian defense workers.”

The vote comes as 650,000 defense civilian workers (including your favorite dragon) are just starting to take 11 scheduled furlough days as a cost-cutting measure to cope with the $37 billion across-the-board sequestration cuts required when Congress and the White House failed to reach an agreement earlier this year on spending and deficit reduction.

There are increasing concerns that an even bigger, $52 billion sequester would occur in fiscal 2014, which begins Oct. 1, because the Obama administration and Congress appear no closer to an agreement.

In preparation for possible 2014 cuts, DoD does not intend to do more civilian furloughs, but is instead planning for potential layoffs.  In a so-called “Plan B” letter to Congress, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel did not rule out more furloughs but said an involuntary reduction-in-force (RIF for you military types) of civilians is one of the steps being planned in case sequestration carries into 2014.

Barring furloughs would limit Pentagon options, making layoffs not just more likely but also deeper, according to congressional aides.  Inability to absorb short-term budget cuts from civilian furloughs also could force DoD to make deeper cuts in other programs, such as military personnel.

Hagel has already warned sequestration in 2014 could result in a freeze in promotions and reassignment moves and lead to the cancellation of discretionary recruiting and retention bonuses.

Lamborn’s amendment wasn’t the only furlough protection passed by the House on Tuesday.  Also by voice vote, the House passed an amendment prohibiting civilians who are paid  from working capital revolving funds from being furloughed, a move that would protect many depot workers, and another amendment to exempt National Guard dual-status technicians from furloughs.

The working capital amendment was sponsored by Rep. Tom Cole, R-Okla., and the National Gurard technician amendment as offered by Rep. Steven Polozzo, R-Miss.

The Senate will not take up the measure until after Labor Day.

Okay, so I highlighted for you the important parts.  We were told early on in the year, that although the furloughs would last to the end of the year, we would be facing layoffs next year.  And although this looks like a great measure for us DoD Civilian Defense Workers, what it actually does is force, even more, the lay-offs next year.  Furthering the weakening of our country’s defense.

Did you also notice the line, “make deeper cuts in other programs, such as military personnel.” Does anyone not see this as a shrinking of our military?  The idea of a strong military is to have enough strength to fight two wars, on two different fronts at the same time.  Our military can barely successfully administer to one limited war on one front and the administrations goal is to shrink our military even further. 

My Constant Worry, dear campers, is a continued weakening of the defense of our wonderful country to the point that we can be defeated, at home, in the next few years.  Possibly before the next General Election in 2016. 

For those of you who don’t like hearing these words, I’m sorry.  It’s time to pull your head out of the sand and face the music.  Our country is changing, and not for the better. 

Do me a favor.  Look back 5 years and think about what you thought your life would be like 5 years in the future…today.  Are you where you thought you’d be?  I’d say probably not. 

Now, if you look forward 5 years from now and imagine what you think, or maybe even more accurately, what you would LIKE your life to be like in 5 years, what are the odds of you being correct? 

I would say pretty slim. 

Especially if you don’t change something about yourself to direct your life in the direction you want.  If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. 

That goes for countries, too.

It’s going to take small steps, by many, many individuals to form a group large enough to make a difference.  But, it all starts with YOU.  Make the change you want to see in others obvious in yourself, first. 

It is the only way our country will survive.

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