Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

Today’s issue is the first attempt at the work around that Lethal came  up with and I experimented with.  We’ll see how it works out.

Thursday, today for me, 2 days ago for you, is Star Wars Day.  You know, the 4th of May…May the fourth be with you?
Get it?
Oh jeez!

Now?  Do you get it.

In celebration of Star Wars Day, here are 15 Leadership quotes from Star Wars, stolen from Jim Lalonde.  Okay, so maybe not stolen so much as … borrowed … or … highlighted.  Yeah, that’s it.  Highlighted.  Here’s the original article.  http://www.jmlalonde.com/15-leadership-quotes-star-wars/ 

1. Qui-Gon Jinn – “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.”  We all know someone who loves the sound of his own voice.  And some of them may even be able to speak well. But, just because you can speak well doesn’t mean you have any intelligence.  Our last president is the perfect example of that.

2.  Han Solo – “Great kid.  Don’t get cocky.”  Does this really need explanation?  Don’t let your success go to your head.

3. Yoda – “Do.  Or do not. There is no try.” Either do it or don’t.  There is no in-between.  “Get-er done!” is another quote and another way of saying the same thing.

4. Yoda – “Fear is the path to the dark side.”  Yes, it is.  As well as lots of other paths to get to the dark side.  Lethal and I spend a lot of time there.  We have a weekly poker game there, after all.  But, it also means that don’t let your fears overwhelm you and keep y9u from your fullest potential.

5. Obi-Wan Kenobi – “In my experience there is no such thing as luck.”  I like Seneca “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

6. Qui-Gon Jinn – “Your focus determines your reality.”  How do you get to Broadway?  Practice, practice, practice.  You want it?  Work at it.

7. Queen Padme Amidala – “Anakin, You’re breaking my heart! And you’re going down a path I cannot follow.” Yeah, don’t expect your loved ones to follow you when you make crappy choices.

8. Obi-Wan Kenobi – “Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin.  They will betray you.” Don’t believe it’s true because you THINK it’s true.  No matter how much you may want it, get the facts.  Always the facts.  What are the numbers?

9. Princess Leia Organa – “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”  Another easy and obvious one.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  You can’t do it all yourself.

10. Jyn Erso – “Trust goes both ways.” You want to be trusted?  Be trustworthy.

And I’ll leave the rest of them for you to read on line.  Again, the website is http://www.jmlalonde.com/15-leadership-quotes-star-wars/ and since I’m rapidly running out of time due to a long weekend of exercise and inspection I have at work.  So, this will be published and posted tonight.  So…

 

As a fan of all things digital, I find this next video quite interesting in what our modern world is doing to keep us all connected.

Dang!  I need to try that at work!  It doesn’t work at all at DL&LL Enterprises.  Lethal seems to see right through it.

So, there I was, crossing the street and I noticed a problem and wondered if there wasn’t something I could do to help fix it…

Nothing EVER works out the way I thought it would.

Oh, I don’t know.  I think I could make a case for it.

Last year, Lethal and I were asked to put on a demonstration for a local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism.  I’m the one on the right.  It went really well for us until I got a little over zealous and accidently set fire to the local neighborhood attached to the park we were demonstrating in.  We weren’t invited back.

Awesome!  Just plain awesome!

 

The temp replied, “Well … the minimum I could possibly work for is four hundred a week.”

 

 

 

 

I don’t know…I’m just saying, don’t piss her off!

 

 

 

Puns that will make you

From: Hawkeye

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

22 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Yeah, I know.

 

This next one took me a minute to see, but keep looking, you’ll get there.

Hey!  Hey!  I resent that!  I’m not that creepy.

That’s some awfully strange Motivationals this time.

I got this one from Lethal recently because he knows that I not only used to work on these aircraft, loaded this gun, but I also love this types of pictures.  This one I thought I’d share with the rest of you guys.

And that’s it my campers.  I’m out of time and need to get this published.  I hope you have a wonderful day and a great weekend.

I’d like to start by thanking those who sent me Get Well wishes/eCards. I’m happy to report I’m well on the mend though still tire somewhat easily.  Apparently this is a thing that’s going around down here and in school districts are reporting as much as a 35% absentee rate from it.

I’d also like to assure those who commented on the problems the blog has been enduring that your comments/questions were not ignored, just delayed in answering until this issue, when ever it is that WordPress decides to allow me to post it.

As I said I tend to still tire easily and I’m running out of steam as this opening is the last thing I need to complete before trying to upload the issue for the first time early on Sunday afternoon. So before the urge to nap completely overwhelms me let me get the issue started by asking…

 

Distress at 18,000 ft.

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communications with a small twin engine aircraft.

A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.

The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled “Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and travelling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!”

The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately. “Calm down, we acknowledge you and we will guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!”.

He began his series of questions.

Tower: “How do you know you are travelling at 18,000 feet??”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the dials in front of me”.

Tower: “Okay, that is good, remain calm. How do you know you are travelling at 180 mph??”

Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the dials in front of me”.

Tower: Okay, that is good. How do you know you’re flying upside down??”

Aircraft: “Because the shit in my pants is sliding out of my collar.”

 

BURIAL PLANS…

A man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. Then one evening, he died when he was 98. After the burial, her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?”

The wife said, “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down … and I know he won’t ask for directions.”

Our recent posting troubles have garnered some comments of support and commiseration as well as  a couple raising a few questions/ideas/suggestions. While we both greatly appreciate any and all comments (particularly those of support and especially those from you women offering to “comfort” us) it is those last few I’d like to take a moment to address. This way you all can understand some of the reasoning and thought Impish and I have been exchanging over this problem and the condition of blog in general.

Kyle:

We have already started discussion regarding a possible move, however please remember we have paid a substantial amount of money (some of its from generous readers) to WordPress. Money which WordPress would not be refunding to us, because according to them they’re not at fault. [cough! Bullshit!]

When we initially looked at moving we only wanted to move once because we were figuring we’d lose a great deal of the readership who were too set in their old ways to willingly switch to the new format. As a result we took our time, reading many how to’s , platform reviews and comments by knowledgeable people and other blog authors. WordPress was rated the top blogging platform in terms of what you got and simplicity of usage on both sides of the blog. Moving in all likelihood would mean paying more for less.

We barely manage to scrape together what we need to keep the blog running as it is now. We long ago gave up on the notion that we’d be able to make the blog self sustaining by adding a few revenue paying advertisers because we’ve never been able to grow
the blow to the minimum needed hits per day to be considered for even the lowest paying advertisers. Currently we receive less hits in a week than the minimum number needed per day to be considered and the number of hits has steadily been falling off over the past year.

As for advertising, we’ve tried Ad Swaps in the past, we tried “Tell A Friend” campaigns from w/in the blog, nothing has worked. Like it or not being Centrist in our point of view, believing in the application of Common Sense to governing and laws as well as the listening to and follow of the will of WE THE PEOPLE doesn’t make us a popular view point. IT is unlikely that advertising in the forums you’re suggesting is going to get us the attention of anything other than radical fringe, something we try to avoid as they tend to drive away readers when they arrive.

Finally I have used the “LethalLeprechaun @ DragonLaff.com” signature tag on several boards I have belonged to &/or Posted/Commented on in the past and never have I heard or seen anyone  who has crossed over due to it.

Ginny:

By daily blog I’m guessing you’re referring to the old Yahoo Group method.
There are several problems with this:

1.) The membership rolls are at least 5 or 6 years out of date and if we revert back  suddenly the unwashed masses will descend howling on us because they didn’t unsubscribe from the newsletter format when we converted over to blog format.                                      Early on we sent out several periodic reminders of the move because we took such a drastic hit in our readership only to be met in some quarters by vitriolic attitudes and comments from several dozen disgruntled former readers. This included at least one unfounded  complaint to Yahoo who makes no attempt what so ever to determine the merits of the complaint but instead presumes you automatically guilty and threatens to kill off your group.

2.) Yahoo Groups is itself on shaky ground and something we cannot be sure will actually remain for any length of time.  I am a member still of several Yahoo groups and this is a constant source of worry among the owners.

3.) Daily blogs on Yahoo must be done daily. You cannot upload ahead of time and schedule releases as we can with the blog.
     For example my personal goal every week is to have the blog completed and ready to upload not later than 3 PM on Monday.  Occasionally something happens between then and Tuesday evening requiring me to add to and repost but most of the time what you see has been waiting in the cloud for posting for 48 hours when you get it. This was one of the things that made blog format so attractive and has helped us continue the blog despite increased pressures on our time

4.) Quality will serious suffer. Those Yahoo issues were assembled in an e-Mail handling program, not a blog creation program.        Yahoo is not compatible with a blog creation program. Ergo much of what you have become accustom to will no longer be possible.
      Slick layouts, embedded videos and such will be a thing of the past again which is one of the reasons we moved. Also issues will severely shrink in size as there is a limit of roughly 1/4 to 1/3 the size of a normal blog file when it comes to e-Mails and long term storage of past issues will no longer be possible.

Thanks to both of you for the support and putting your ideas out there for our consideration. You never know when someone doing such a thing will cause us to think about something we might not have or re-examine a previous discarded notion. At this moment in time I can say that no option has been ruled out and is off the table…as yet.

 

You’re An EXTREME Redneck When…

1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.

3 You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4 You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.

5 You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

6 Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’

7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

8 Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

9 Your junior prom offered day care.

10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’

11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

16. You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.

17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

 

The is a saying in the Military, particularly the Navy & Marines-

“One Oh Shit! Will immediately wipe out a career’s worth of ‘Atta Boys’”

That’s some pretty serious optimism!

When you’re from the country you look at things a little differently…

A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door. A young boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your Dad home?” the rancher asked.

“No sir, he isn’t,” the boy replied. “He went into town.”

“Well,” said the rancher, “Is your Mother here?”

“No sir, she’s not here either. She went into town with Dad.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No sir, He went with Mom and Dad.”

The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” the boy asked politely. “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one. Or maybe I could take a message for Dad.”

“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant.”‘

The boy considered for a moment. “You would have to talk to Pa about that,” he finally conceded. “If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don’t know how much he gets for Howard.”

HELGA’S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP

DEAR DIARY – DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this “all-girls” trip.

---

DEAR DIARY – DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.

---

DEAR DIARY – DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck.

Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

---

DEAR DIARY – DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne.

He asked me to stay the night, but I

DECLINED…

---

DEAR DIARY – DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.

Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

---

DEAR DIARY – DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.

Twice.

Only in the Southwest

Call Jesus

As I was driving home yesterday, worrying about all the stuff going on in Washington, Ottawa, London, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, etc., and how America is falling apart, I saw a yard sign that said:

NEED HELP?

CALL JESUS

1-800-005-3787

Out of curiosity and desperation, I did.

A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

Good Morning Campers!

As you are well aware, we’ve been having serious issues with being able to publish our ezine.  Lethal Leprechaun had much difficulty publishing his issue and I imagine I may well have the same on Saturday.  But, I guess we’ll see.

If you’re reading this, then we’ve overcome the problem again, if you’re not reading this than I suppose nothing I say at this point will make any difference since you aren’t reading it, anyway.

So, with that bundle of fun out of the way, let’s get on with today’s Dragon Laffs.

 

 

Never underestimate the bland and unimaginative.

Or Lowes, or K-mart, or Kroger….strangely, I’ve been invited back to Walmart and been given a lower rate on my Walmart credit card.

And it’s called a phone and making phone calls is the least thing that we do with it.

Yup, that’s about what my mom would’ve done.

A few weekends ago we had our annual “laser tag” tournament.  Pictured here is one of the semi-final matches with K2 (on top dragon) going against Paul K9 (on the green dragon).  The match was won, barely in overtime, by Paul.  Way to go Paul!  Hopefully you enjoyed the “Prize” you won…even if Ginny didn’t. 

All I remember is Lethal turning to me and saying, “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”

Damn.  I got the wrong answer.  I thought it was 19.

No doubt.  That is WAYYYYYYY Cool!

Commuting Frequently Asked Questions #215: Yes, this does indeed qualify for the carpool lane.

Ouch!  Damn!

 

I’m thinking you’re not even going to be able to GIVE that dog away.

 

That is bad….that is sooooooo bad.

Ain’t that the damn truth!!!!

“The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you’ve been overpaying all year long. It’s like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, ‘Oh, presents.’ ” — Jimmy Kimmel   You’re giving the government an interest free loan all year.  And you’re exited you’re getting your own money back. – Impish Dragon    

Okay!  That’s it!!  Nobody, and I mean NO BODY! Goes to sleep on Sunday!  Is that understood!!!!????

 

“Cough” – “Through” – “Rough” – “Though”

None of these words rhyme.  But, for some godforsaken reason

 “Pony” and “Bologna” Do.

English is weird.

It’s so very, very sad…but it’s also so very true!  People are beginning to disgust me.

Recently in the news, you may have heard that we dropped the most powerful, non-nuclear weapon in the American arsenal.  The GBU-43/B Massive Ordnance Air Blast or MOAB.  MOAB is commonly referred to as the Mother Of All Bombs.  Well, below we have the MOALB.

Just FYI.  This is what the real MOAB looks like with a nice scale shown with the people standing beside it:

After getting all of Pope Francis’s luggage loaded into the limo at the airport, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

“Excuse me, Your Holiness,” says the driver, “Would you please take your seat so we can leave?”

“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I’d really like to drive today.”

“I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that.  I’d lose my job!  What if something should happen?” protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning.

“Who’s going to tell?” asks the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets into the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 130 mph.  (Remember, the Pope is Argentinean, and Fangio, the famous racer, was Argentinean.)

“Please slow down, Your Holiness,” pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. “Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license – and my job!”  moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches;  but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. “I need to talk to the Chief,”  he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going 130 mph.

“So bust him,”  says the Chief.

“I don’t think we want to do that.  He’s really important,” said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, “All the more reason!”

“No, I mean really important,” said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, “Who do you have there, the mayor?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

Chief: “A senator?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

Chief: “The President?”

Cop: “Bigger.”

“Well,” said the Chief, “who is it?”

Cop: “I think it’s GOD!”

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious,  “What makes you think it’s God?”

Cop: “His chauffeur is the Pope!”

 

 

What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.

“It’s easy to identify people who can’t count to ten. They’re in front of you in the supermarket express lane.”

“It’s a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one’s safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract.” – Alan Shepherd

I hope you have enjoyed my limited offerings today.  Now, I’ve just got to find out whether or not this thing is going to post or not.

Cheers

Impish Dragon

Morning Folks!

Tis early Sunday afternoon as I write these words. I’m thinkin I’ll be tryin for several times a day for several days afore I get this thing to upload so I’m for getting an early jump on it so you’ll nae be feeling withdrawal pangs come Wednesday.

A few word o’ explanation about my opening banner seem ta be in order so here they are-

As you are undoubtedly aware, Impish spent most of Easter week and  Eater it self not only pink and furry but stuck looking 1/2 way between the Easter Bunny and himself. The look was quite…something and I had the notion to make a few extra quid off the situation by getting some stuffed animals wearing little shirts emblazoned ‘I Luv Martians’. The animal were to be 1/2 bunny/half dragon and of course pink and furry.

My plan was to then offer these up for sale to you folks and make a tidy profit on the whole thing. Problem was I came to the idea late ( I must be getting soft in me later years) and really needed to move fast of capitalize on the idea.

A contact of mine had a contact who knew someone in the stuffed animal importing business who claimed to have a source who was over stocked with Easter Bunnies they were looking to unload and were willing to rework them. I hastily agreed and the order was placed. What you see is what I got instead of what I planned to sell.

Damned Chinese!

Bad Diet

A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Miami, Florida.

“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have, or will, eat it. Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of quiet, a small 75-year-old man in the front row, raised his hand and said, “Wedding Cake?”

THAT folks is an M-1 Abrams Tank they’re drifting.

SPEAKING of battlefields…let’s check in on United Airlines humor!

United’s New Seating Plan:

There’s even a video game to prepare you for flying United now!

Brains

Lisa, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

After a while, several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and her eyes closed, and both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer, who had noticed here on his way into the store, became concerned when he came out 40 minutes later and saw her in the same position. He walked over to her car and noticed that Lisa’s eyes were open and that she had very strange expression.

He asked her if she was okay.

Lisa replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

Using his cell phone the man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, the paramedics found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough had hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until the man noticed and came to her aid.

Lisa is blonde…

Going back to the subject of flying for a moment, how cool a pet is this?

Apparently those couple pictures I posted for St. Padrag’s Day of me hiding me very first pot o’ gold were quite a hit with some of you. Recently I was asked if I had any photos of me as a brand new Marine. Here ya go, this is the only one I know of.

Here’s a Pet Rock that packin’ a wee bit o’ attitude!

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit.

“This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter,” said one.

“No! He agreed to marry MY daughter,” said the other.

And so they haggled before the King, until he demanded silence.

“My sword! Bring me my biggest sword,” said Solomon, “and we shall cut the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half.”

“Fine. Sounds good to me,” said the first lady.

But the other woman said, “Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let this other woman’s daughter marry him.”

The wise king did not hesitate a moment.

“Indeed, the accountant must marry the first lady’s daughter,” he proclaimed.

“But she was willing to hack him in two!” exclaimed the king’s court.

“Precisely!” said wise King Solomon…

“That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law.”

Recently Impish showed you a view of the pool for the Penthouse here at Keebler Towers from the ground looking up. That was all the perspective he had available to him because frankly he’s not allowed anywhere near the pool for obvious reasons.

Since we received a few private comments about it I thought I’d give you two other viewing perspectives of the pool. First what you see looking down:

And now an inside the pool prospective view:

Isn’t the view the pool provides breath taking? Wednesdays tan really is coming along nicely too!

And of course being a Fae Friendly environment we also have our very own resident Pool Nymph:

Ten Signs That Your Life Is About To Change:

10. While watching the news, you spot your spouse marching in a Gay Pride parade.

9. The bank notifies you that your paycheck has bounced.

8. On a densely foggy morning, while driving in the center lane of a highway, you suddenly run out of gas.

7. You arrive at your wedding to find, two ushers, four bridesmaids, and six pallbearers.

6. You ask your doctor for a physical and he replies, “I’m sorry, I don’t do autopsies.”

5. The IRS invites you to a weenie-roast and the invitation begins with “Dear Weenie…”.

6. While surfing the internet, you suddenly get the following dialogue box: “ICBM launch successful. Confirm strike? (Y/N)”.

4. You receive an invitation from the Oval Office to “chew the fat”.

3. You hear that your dentist has been arrested for using radioactive material as tooth-filling.

2. At the vacant house next door, you notice a U-haul van and a truck which looks very similar to the one on the Beverly Hillbillies.

1. Your twelve-year-old daughter suddenly develops a craving for pickles and ice cream.

And all the while you thought ‘Ghostriders in the Sky’ was just a song!

 

A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT…

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Lethal here folks.

I expected there might well be problems uploading Leprechaun Laughs after Impish reported problems getting Saturday’s DragonLaff uploaded.

That why I spent most of my free time on Sunday finishing the issue so I could start trying to get it uploaded earlier than normal. Apparently this has just provided more time for WordPress to be clueless and that SoB Murphy to laugh at me.

It’s currently 1 PM  CST on Tuesday 04/25/2017 as I write this. I have been trying multiple times to upload the issue multiple time a day despite feeling unwell and basically spending the majority of the day Monday abed and continuing to do so today.

When ever I do get up and move about for brief periods I come into my office and attempt to upload the issue 3 times, always with the same result, an error message after a very long wait. To add insult to injury we have no problem uploading these short messages

Impish nor I have changed or updated anything related to publishing the blog on our end. WordPress despite acknowledging to Impish they had recently updated their site’s software continues to insist this problem isn’t with them.  However all the error messages I receive are indicative of an issue on their end.

In short folks I do not know when or if you will receive the next issuer of either Leprechaun Laughs or DragonLaffs. It seems likely that our own host for which we pay (with the generous assistance of some of you) may well wind up succeeding in doing what our continually shrinking readership and increasing personal time commitments have so far been unable to do.

I’m talking about kill off this blog.

Further news (or an actual issue) if/when it becomes available or possible to post.

Thank You for your time and kind attention