Dragon Laffs #1539


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Good Morning Campers,

Today’s issue is the first attempt at the work around that Lethal came  up with and I experimented with.  We’ll see how it works out.

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Thursday, today for me, 2 days ago for you, is Star Wars Day.  You know, the 4th of May…May the fourth be with you?
Get it?
Oh jeez!
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Now?  Do you get it.

In celebration of Star Wars Day, here are 15 Leadership quotes from Star Wars, stolen from Jim Lalonde.  Okay, so maybe not stolen so much as … borrowed … or … highlighted.  Yeah, that’s it.  Highlighted.  Here’s the original article.  http://www.jmlalonde.com/15-leadership-quotes-star-wars/ 

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1. Qui-Gon Jinn – “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.”  We all know someone who loves the sound of his own voice.  And some of them may even be able to speak well. But, just because you can speak well doesn’t mean you have any intelligence.  Our last president is the perfect example of that.

2.  Han Solo – “Great kid.  Don’t get cocky.”  Does this really need explanation?  Don’t let your success go to your head.

3. Yoda – “Do.  Or do not. There is no try.” Either do it or don’t.  There is no in-between.  “Get-er done!” is another quote and another way of saying the same thing.

4. Yoda – “Fear is the path to the dark side.”  Yes, it is.  As well as lots of other paths to get to the dark side.  Lethal and I spend a lot of time there.  We have a weekly poker game there, after all.  But, it also means that don’t let your fears overwhelm you and keep y9u from your fullest potential.

5. Obi-Wan Kenobi – “In my experience there is no such thing as luck.”  I like Seneca “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

6. Qui-Gon Jinn – “Your focus determines your reality.”  How do you get to Broadway?  Practice, practice, practice.  You want it?  Work at it.

7. Queen Padme Amidala – “Anakin, You’re breaking my heart! And you’re going down a path I cannot follow.” Yeah, don’t expect your loved ones to follow you when you make crappy choices.

8. Obi-Wan Kenobi – “Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin.  They will betray you.” Don’t believe it’s true because you THINK it’s true.  No matter how much you may want it, get the facts.  Always the facts.  What are the numbers?

9. Princess Leia Organa – “Help me Obi-wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.”  Another easy and obvious one.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  You can’t do it all yourself.

10. Jyn Erso – “Trust goes both ways.” You want to be trusted?  Be trustworthy.

And I’ll leave the rest of them for you to read on line.  Again, the website is http://www.jmlalonde.com/15-leadership-quotes-star-wars/ and since I’m rapidly running out of time due to a long weekend of exercise and inspection I have at work.  So, this will be published and posted tonight.  So…

 

Let's Laugh

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As a fan of all things digital, I find this next video quite interesting in what our modern world is doing to keep us all connected.

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Dang!  I need to try that at work!  It doesn’t work at all at DL&LL Enterprises.  Lethal seems to see right through it.

So, there I was, crossing the street and I noticed a problem and wondered if there wasn’t something I could do to help fix it…

Nothing EVER works out the way I thought it would.

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Oh, I don’t know.  I think I could make a case for it.

Dragon Pix

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Last year, Lethal and I were asked to put on a demonstration for a local chapter of the Society for Creative Anachronism.  I’m the one on the right.  It went really well for us until I got a little over zealous and accidently set fire to the local neighborhood attached to the park we were demonstrating in.  We weren’t invited back.

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Awesome!  Just plain awesome!

I guess some things will never change. I recently hired a temp to help with the filing while my secretary was off for six months on maternity leave. Trying to arrive at an agreeable wage, I asked her what she expected to earn.

 

The temp replied, “Well … the minimum I could possibly work for is four hundred a week.”

I told her I’d give her that much with pleasure.
The temp shook her head and replied, “With pleasure it’ll be $600 a week.”

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The obscene phone caller said, “If you can name what I have in my hand,you can have it.” She responded, “If it fits in one hand, you can freakin’ keep it!
 
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A tired traveler pulls into a hotel ,Very tired after a long day’s trip he asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby.
 
He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby.
 
After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, “Fancy meeting my ‘wife’ here. I’ll need a double room for the night.”
 
The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3000.
 
“What’s the meaning of this?” he yells at the clerk. “I’ve only been here for one night!”
“Yes,” says the clerk, “but your ‘wife’ has been here for three weeks!”

 

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Fantasy

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I don’t know…I’m just saying, don’t piss her off!

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If four out of five people SUFFER from diarrhea, does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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Critter

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Puns that will make you Groan

From: Hawkeye

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

22 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

Yeah, I know.

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This next one took me a minute to see, but keep looking, you’ll get there.
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Motivational

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Hey!  Hey!  I resent that!  I’m not that creepy.

Mr Rogers

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Multitasking

Muslim Drivers

my balls

That’s some awfully strange Motivationals this time.

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I got this one from Lethal recently because he knows that I not only used to work on these aircraft, loaded this gun, but I also love this types of pictures.  This one I thought I’d share with the rest of you guys.

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And that’s it my campers.  I’m out of time and need to get this published.  I hope you have a wonderful day and a great weekend.

cheers

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1539

  1. Ginny says:

    Nice job Impish…loved the video on 100 year old twins on Jay Leno, Thanks to Lethal for posting the issue, what a team you two make!

    • impishdragon says:

      Agreed, Ginny. Lethal Leprechaun and Impish Dragon make a VERY good team. The world should be quite glad we don’t live any closer together. Damn, the trouble we could cause…

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