Well, you guys are reading this and I am teaching class…and then teaching another class…and then tomorrow I’ll be teaching another class…rinse and repeat.  It’s going to be one of those weekends.  You know, I keep saying that teaching is my favorite part of the job, and it is.  But, it’s also getting to be the hardest part of my job.  Four hours at a time on my feet waiting for a hip replacement, a knee replacement, and work done on my back is getting harder and harder to do.  It sucks getting older.  Don’t let anyone tell you any different.  LOL! 

Izzy is working tonight, so I’m here on my own, so I’m spending the next couple of hours with you guys, so what do you say, let’s get some laughter on!

And this one is from Aussie Pete and I have to say…it kinda makes sense…

  The Bicycle Is killing our economy. 

General Director of Euro Exim Bank Ltd. got economists thinking when he said: A cyclist is a disaster for the country’s economy: He does not buy cars. He does not pay for insurance policies. He does not buy fuel, does not pay for the necessary maintenance and repairs. He does not use paid parking. He does not cause serious accidents. He does not require multi-lane highways. He does not get fat. He keeps fit. Healthy people are neither needed nor useful for the economy. They don’t buy medicine. They do not go to hospitals or doctors. Nothing is added to the country’s GDP. On the contrary, every new McDonald’s restaurant creates at least 30 jobs: 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 dietary experts and nutritionists, and obviously, people who work at the restaurant itself. Choose carefully: cyclist or McDonald’s? It is worth considering. Walking is even worse. Pedestrians don’t even buy bicycles.  

We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to select each image containing a boat.

Rap is like scissors — it always loses to rock.

And dragons … here there be dragons.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked while trying to find new people to see you naked.  

ROFLMAO!

This one comes to us from Stephanie:

My husband said his forearms are itchy. 

I said, “don’t be silly, you only have two arms.”

Yup!  Been there, done that!

Wow!

I don’t pretend to be something I’m not…

I know I’m crazy…

And I own that shit!

There are times, at Dragon Laffs, Inc., that parking can be a little … difficult. 

Let it not be so with us.

WOKE:  A state of awareness only achieved by those DUMB enough to Find INJUSTICE in EVERYTHING EXCEPT their OWN BEHAVIOR.

How true that statement is…

It hasn’t been much time, but this too, is so very, very true.

Yeah, I saw this too.  And I thought to myself, WTF, is she finally losing it?

‘What the hell is she doing?’ Nancy Pelosi distracts viewers during State of Union by jumping out her seat, rubbing her knuckles in glee and grinding her teeth while Biden speaks solemnly about toxic burn pits

• She distracted viewers with her awkward and erratic behavior throughout

• Pelosi, 81, jumped out of her seat and rubbed her knuckles when Biden mentioned soldiers breathing in toxic smoke from burn pits 

• She also appeared to be rubbing her tongue over her teeth and grimacing

• Some asked if she was ‘OK’ while others remarked that she looked like she was ‘on drugs or drunk

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/video-of-nancy-pelosi-s-gestures-during-state-of-the-union-viewed-1-5m-times/ar-AAUvhAJ

In the Marine Corps, you have to know there’d be a lot of back and forth between rotor heads and Fighter/Attack Types.  Especially when you had separate bases right close to each other. 

One year, 3rd MAW was having a rash of accidents. The Wing Commander called a meeting at the base theater for all Group and Squadron C.O.’s… Plus all the Safety Officers and Assistants.

The General gave a collective “ass chewing” to all… In fact he went on so long, his audience was getting pissed. Instead of getting the “message”, lots of groans, shifting in seats,  and sniffs occurred. Finally the General concludes with… “Is there anyone out there who doesn’t understand what I said or has any questions”.  

Total silence…  But our Skipper was fearless, his name was Mike Gehring and then I see his right arm starting to ascend!? WTF? The General sees it and says, “State your name and question”.

 Mike doesn’t miss a beat… “LtCol. Mike Gehring Sir… I’m sick of all the preferential treatment the fighter pilots are getting around here… Something needs to be done about it”.

The General, along with all the others present were stunned!  Finally the General comes back with; “What the hell are you talking about”?  

Mike never skipped a beat… He says, “General, YOU might not have noticed… but believe me the rest of us have. Anywhere we go on base… every Primo parking spot is reserved for fighter Pilots!  The Club, the Exchange, the Dispensary, even the Wing Headquarters”!  The best, closest parking spot is always reserved for the jet Drivers!  You have HAD to have seen them General.

The General then replied, “No, I don’t think I have seen them, how are they labeled?”  

Mike, with a small smirk on his face replied, “Well sir, they’re marked…..’HANDICAPPED’.

For about 10 seconds there was total silence… the General smiled, then total pandemonium.  The General didn’t say another word.   

What the fuck is that?

And with a really long and hard weekend ahead of me, I’m not sure there will be an issue on Monday.  So, I’m going to end this tonight with one final meme to express my own personal feelings and the feelings of many of you, I’m sure.  Until next time, my friends…

Can you believe that there are people in the United States that are saying that we need to ignore the situation in Ukraine because it is white people fighting white people?  I am completely floored.  You people are fucking morons.  Plain and simple.  I’m ashamed of the fact that you call yourselves Americans.  I wish I had more information, but I don’t want to search for it for fear of having hits on my computer on their website, so on to other things.  If I hear more about it on the news I’ll report. 

Biden’s State of the Union Address is tonight.  I’m afraid of what he’s going to say.  Odds are it’s going to be a bunch of lies.  If he says we were ready, I’m going to call him a fucking liar.  He has the opportunity to set things straight … wanna bet he doesn’t take it?  We’ll see I guess. 

You know what?  Let’s do some laughter while we try to get through this night.

Me:  Kinda sexy how you put those cuffs on me.  Will I need a safe word?  

Cop:  The fuck is wrong is with you?

We import 595,000 barrels of oil per day from Russia. 

The Keystone XL Pipeline would have produced 830,000 barrels per day. 

Relying on Russian oil is a choice.  And it’s a stupid one.

My husband almost fell down the stairs and now we are in a heated debate as to whether my gasp was out of fear for his safety or excitement about a possible life insurance payout.

Sometimes all you need is the touch of a friend.

I can remember seeing that or a similar picture when shopping for school clothes when I was in high school.

This morning the cat threw up, the dog got loose, and my youngest told me he’s running away from home.  If only I had a broken down truck this would make a great country song.

This is one of the sweetest damn pictures I’ve ever seen!

I found out last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee is sleeping right through it.

Yes…yes, she does.

Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that “Butt Dialing” and “Booty Calls” are two entirely different things.

What our drone force looks like at Dragon Laffs, Inc.

If I can make at least one person smile, pee their pants a little, or maybe spit out a drink, then my day was not wasted!

I was kidnapped by mimes…

They did unspeakable things to me

Some old, some new, all funny…Thanks Ted!

On Growing Older…Reality Bites

My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close enough..”

Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.

I’m a multitasker. I can listen, ignore and forget all at the same time!

Retirement to do list: ..Wake up. -I Nailed it!

People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.

I don’t have grey hair. I have wisdom highlights.

Sometimes it takes me all day to get nothing done.

I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.

One minute you’re young and fun. Next, you’re turning down the car stereo to see better.

I’d grow my own food if only I could find bacon seeds.

Some people are like clouds, once they disappear it’s a beautiful day.

Some people you’re glad to see coming; some people you’re glad to see going.

Common sense is not a gift. It’s a punishment because you have to deal with everyone else who doesn’t have it.

I came. I saw. I forgot what I was doing. Retraced my steps. Got lost on the way back. Now I have no idea what’s going on.

If you can’t think of a word, say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot.

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. …I forgot where I was going with this.

Having plans sounds like a good idea ..until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older… This is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter either.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember… don’t sing!

I see people my age mountain climbing. I feel good just getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our heads. That’s my story anyway.

Wife:  Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?  

Me:  Ok, but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high.

And that has to be it for today.  I’ve run out of time.  Too many things going on at once today.  Love and happiness to you all.

Well, more good news.  We just found out that we lost our dart location…again!  Those of you who have been around for a while know this happened to us a couple of years ago when the Elks Lodge suddenly and without cause threw us out of their basement.  Now, the Side Pocket, where we play is being forced to close, (through no fault of their own) which means that we are also being forced to find a new home.  Now, they may find a new home that has enough room for us, in which case we will have a new home OR we may find a new place willing to give us a couple of walls to throw darts at a couple of days a week.  I guess that is going to play out over the next couple of weeks.  We just happen to be between seasons, so it’s not as disruptive as it could have been. 

So Putin is losing his mind, and Biden doesn’t have one, so the world is spinning out of control.  It’s all about energy.  Specifically oil.  And yet, Biden won’t put the damn oil sanctions in place that NEED to be put into place and won’t start up oil production in the United States that NEED to be started up.  The two biggest things that need to be done and they are not being done.  WHAT THE FUCK, Biden?  Open up the Keystone Pipeline you idiot! 

And to see their political figures picking up weapons to defend their cities and their homes is so impressive!  Can you see OUR political figures picking up rifles to defend our country?  That’s laughable.  Some would.  I can think of a few who would do it…but not many and certainly not like the Ukrainians are! 

Anyway…

I joined an online grief group.  I haven’t really participated yet, just read other people’s posts.  Not sure I’m going to.  I may throw my two-cents worth in at some point in time, but reading through the posts, it’s almost like … I don’t know … they don’t seem to mesh with what I’m feeling … or they aren’t writing or expressing it that way.  Or it could be that I’m just not seeing it.  They have a HUGE following, like 3.6K followers.  So, you can’t expect everyone to be a great writer, but still.

And talk about calling the kettle black, reading through what I’ve written so far this morning, I should definitely not be casting aspersions on other writers.  Sheesh!  I know I have my own “voice” but it’s a bit scratchy this morning.  So, let’s get to the laughter.  Seems like we really need it this morning.

Our friend of the show “Friggin’ Pete” sent this next one, and I agree with him 101%!  It is a beautiful picture.

Of all the things I have ever posted, this photo is one of my very favorites.

 It says so much without saying a word.

My question, especially given the time frame, is how is Tom connected to the Clintons?  That, then could explain everything.

Yeah, at a friggin’ minimum!

Yeah, I cook a bunch of stuff myself, too.

Just heard that Putin just put his nuclear forces on high alert in response to NATO increased expansion.  He’s a fucking mad man.  Someone needs to stop him now!

I read books, I drink coffee, and I know things.

This next one is from Lynn … not her usual fare, but fun and funny none-the-less:

Killer Chili…

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that the course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented ‘you’re definitely going to shit yourself’ chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks will fall off.

Here’s the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No ‘Watson’s Movement 2’. Despite habanero peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as ‘thunder and lightning.’

Knowing that a time of reckoning HAD to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market, a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn’t until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me.

Oh, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m referring to that ‘Uh, oh, gotta go’ pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneros in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don’t know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here’s what I mean, and I’m sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could’ve warned that poor woman but didn’t. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. …….BIG mistake!!!!!

Here’s the thing. When you laugh, it’s hard to keep things ‘clamped down’, if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. ‘It’ was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I’d make it before the grand my ass explosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable ‘Oh my God’, floating above the toilet seat because my ass is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of ‘Shock and Awe’ . He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, “Son of a bitch!”, then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, re-acquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, “Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.”

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, “IT’S YOU!.” Then he ran off, returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Kroger’s. I can’t say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Bastards claim they’re going to have to repaint the store.

Smoking pot and skipping school had me in trouble constantly.  Now weed’s legal and school’s closed…damn kids are living the dream.

That’s a great chess set!

You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.

Quite often in fact.  We are often underestimated.

If you need a friend, message me, need a laugh, call me, need a hug, stop by my house, need money, this number is no longer in service.

Roses are red…

Who’s nut?

O.M.G.!

Next time you’re feeling down, remember life is all about perspective.  I have a friend who has sex 2 to 3 times a day, exercises twice a day, reads two books a week and yet every day he complains about how much he hates prison.

My other nephew, on-the-other-hand, has a pretty crappy job…

An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her father on “Take Your Kid to Work Day”.
As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and getting very cranky.  Her father asked what was wrong with her.
As the staff gathered round, she sobbed loudly, “Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?”

WRONG IS WRONG
even if everyone is doing it.

RIGHT IS RIGHT
even if no one is doing it.

Two things define you:
Your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything.

The size of your problems is nothing compared with your ability to solve them.  Don’t overestimate your problems, or underestimate yourself.

I like making people laugh.

In some way, it helps me know that someone needs my fucked up sense of humor to cheer them up.

Every woman’s dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed…and clean the whole house while she sleeps.

The cops came to my house and asked me where I was between 5 and 6…

Apparently “Kindergarten” was NOT the right answer!

ROFLMAO!  Yeah, right!

Revenge is beneath me.

Accidents, however, will happen.

When you walk with trash, you end up smelling the same.

And now we learn, after hearing on Thursday that Biden is NOT prepared to encourage China to enforce the sanctions against Russia, that Biden shared Top Secret information on Operational Plans concerning NATO and Ukraine with China, who in-turn (of course) shared them with Russia.  That’s called TREASON and if I or one of my people did that, we would be in fucking jail before the sunset!  WHAT THE EVER LIVING FUCK!?!?  Do we need to catch him robbing a fucking bank?

Arguing with me is a waste of time.

I’m so sarcastic and nonchalant that it’s gonna piss you off even more.

The school called today and said, “Your son is telling lies.”

“Well,” I replied, “He must be really good because I don’t have any kids.”

I WANT ONE!!!

And that’s a really good place to put this one to bed.  Hope to see you all on Thursday.  And hopefully with some much better news than we had today.  Love and happiness to you all … and Peace.  Let’s all pray for that, too.

Good Morning Campers,
Well, the Russians did it.  They are at war.  And we are at … sanctions.  And crappy ones at that.  And because of that, China is now playing silly-beggars with Taiwan since all attention is on Russia and Biden is chasing his own tale.  And when Biden was asked if he was willing to ask China to help isolate Russia, his reply was that he was not willing to comment on that.  Because he’s not willing to jeopardize his paycheck!  Or his son’s paycheck!  And other than that, I can’t comment … dammit!
And it’s friggin’ snowing again!  We’re supposed to get another 2 to 4 inches again tonight.  Poor Izzy is working and I’ll have to go out and pick her up, so … that should be fun.
Went and saw the movie Dog the other day.  It was good.  Found out that the 3 dogs that they used as the co-star for the movie were born and raised right here in Miami County, Indiana where I live.  Yup, they used 3 different dogs.  It was kind of sad to go to the movie ’cause it was one of the things that Mrs. Dragon and I really liked to do.  And I reached out a couple of times and held Izzy’s hand, like I would with Mary’s.  She looked at me weird at first, but then I think she got it.
I also played darts Tuesday night.  That’s getting a little easier to do.  Had a really good night.  Didn’t win a lot of legs, but I played a lot better than I have lately which makes me think that I’m getting my arm back., which is a good thing.  I might try a heavier dart and see if that doesn’t help some.
Anyway, let’s get to some laughter.  I really need to turn the damn news off…

Fuck!  I’m older than Dirt!  But, I knew that going in.

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

 

Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someone’s life, but why not be the moon, to shine in someone’s darkest hour?

The Impish Dragon Mantra

Never Forget

How far you’ve come.  Everything you have gotten through.  All the times you have pushed on even when you felt you couldn’t.  All the mornings you got out of bed no matter how hard it was.  All the times you wanted to give up, but you got through another day. 

Never forget how much strength you have learned and developed along the way.

Our night security caught napping…

For those who ask: “Why does Ukraine matter? 

1st in Europe in proven recoverable reserves of uranium ores;

2nd place in Europe and 10th place in the world in terms of titanium ore reserves;

2nd place in the world in terms of explored reserves of manganese ores (2.3 billion tons, or 12% of the world’s reserves);

2nd largest iron ore reserves in the world (30 billion tons);

2nd place in Europe in terms of mercury ore reserves;

3rd place in Europe (13th place in the world) in shale gas reserves (22 trillion cubic meters)

4th in the world by the total value of natural resources;

7th place in the world in coal reserves (33.9 billion tons)

Ukraine is an agricultural country:

1st in Europe in terms of arable land area;

3rd place in the world by the area of black soil (25% of world’s volume);

1st place in the world in exports of sunflower and sunflower oil;

2nd place in the world in barley production and 4th place in barley exports;

3rd largest producer and 4th largest exporter of corn in the world;

4th largest producer of potatoes in the world;

5th largest rye producer in the world;

5th place in the world in bee production (75,000 tons);

8th place in the world in wheat exports;

9th place in the world in the production of chicken eggs;

16th place in the world in cheese exports.

Ukraine can meet the food needs of 600 million people.

Ukraine is an industrialized country:

1st in Europe in ammonia production;

2-е Europe’s and 4th largest natural gas pipeline system in the world (142.5 bln cubic meters of gas throughput capacity in the EU);

3rd largest in Europe and 8th largest in the world in terms of installed capacity of nuclear power plants;

3rd place in Europe and 11th in the world in terms of rail network length (21,700 km);

3rd place in the world (after the U.S. and France) in production of locators and locating equipment;

3rd largest iron exporter in the world

4th largest exporter of turbines for nuclear power plants in the world;

4th world’s largest manufacturer of rocket launchers;

4th place in the world in clay exports

4th place in the world in titanium exports

8th place in the world in exports of ores and concentrates;

9th place in the world in exports of defense industry products;

10th largest steel producer in the world (32.4 million tons).

Thanks to Lynn for sending us that one!

Seeing how some people wear their masks, I now understand how contraceptives fail.

My wife wanted to disgrace me in front of her friends; she said I wasn’t good in bed.  She was shocked when they all disagreed with her.

One of our Dragon Laffs undercover agents.

My neighbor just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

This is NOT going to go well on a hot summer day.

No.  NO!  Under no circumstances should you ignore the dragons.

Boobs are to men, what laser pointers are to cats.

Well, that didn’t work out well…

For Your Information:  If you beep your horn .03 seconds after the light changes to green, I will shut off my car, lay on the hood, and feed birds for an hour.

One of the few dragon tats that I actually like.

Do your best to be respectful of everyone, but understand that some people just want to be offended, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

This one is perfect for me:  

I’m thinking back to when “a new hip joint” meant someplace I wanted to go to on a Friday night.

Sex over 40 can be so exciting…You never know whether it’s an orgasm, a stroke, or just a cramp.

Me too!!!!

Having noisy children in the church is a far better sound than the sound of no children in the church.

Bar & Bra  

Same letters, different words, but both keep men waiting eagerly till they open!

Getting a song stuck in your head wouldn’t be so bad if it was the full song instead of 10 seconds on a loop.

This essay, like many of the other excellent essays we receive here at Dragon Laffs, Inc, comes to us from Lynn.  I can’t verify that it’s true, I haven’t checked all the numbers, but I will say that I have indeed noticed a trend in not only the commercials, but also the TV shows, so I am going to go ahead and believe that someone did do the research.  This is called…

Silent Brainwashing

Black males are only 5% of our population yet were in 89.7% of the ads.
The fact is that while white males make up the largest segment of our population, they were in only in 4% of the TV commercials! 
 
Brainwashing is best accomplished when you have no idea that it is being done but simply occurs as part of the fabric of your life. While you may “feel” that something is wrong, you are being programmed nonetheless. Think about TV Commercials and shows with these facts in mind.
Facts:US population 334 million consisting of 57.8% white, 18.7% Latino, 12.1% Black and 11.4% Asian or other.
 
Then break that down to about 10% of all existing marriages that are interracial including those of all races, and only 4.9% of the population that identifies as LGBT. You would expect the same ratios in TV commercials if they represented America but here’s what you see instead, taken from a log of TV commercials over a 4-month period, which is quite different.
 
For TV, white men as the majority of Americans have all but disappeared. When they are in commercials, they are either old, ugly and sick or they are the partner of a black woman and have no speaking part. In 3 of the commercials the white men are doing laundry and always paired with a little girl to whom they are delivering the clean clothes. In other words, less than 10% of the population is driving 90% of the narrative.
 
There were zero commercials of White fathers and sons. None! So while 75% of white children live with both their parents, including their fathers, we choose instead not to model that in favor of the 62% of black children that do not live in a two parent household? This is our new normal in their eyes? As acceptable? Is this the healthy “normal” image we want to model to our population?
 
Equally disturbing, young white boys and teens have also disappeared, unless they were flagrantly new age gay, as though that represents the “majority” instead of the pitifully small minority. What distorted perception of reality does that serve? The study found a majority of the children were white girls with a black “brother” even though this represents the smallest percentage of any reality discussed thus far! The MAJORITY of TV commercial couples consist of a white woman with a black man, when in reality these make up about 6% of the 30% of blacks that are married or about 2% of our population. Are you starting to see how ridiculous, yet pervasive this extraordinary brainwashing is? Exactly what are they trying to program into us with this relentless deluge of non-reality?
 
Surprisingly, in the month of December there was an uptick (but not a majority) in good looking white male models, but research determined that in each and every case it was a cologne commercial and every one of those commercials were made in Europe where they still use white men in their commercials. Here, on the other hand, they prefer to portray young white males as so mind-numbingly stupid as being incapable of delivering their lines and couldn’t even say “Liberty Mutual”, the insurance company featured in the commercial.
 
Over a period of 4 months, it concluded that while the African American population in America is only 12%, they were in 94.3% of the commercials. Black males are only 5% of our population yet were in 89.7% of the ads. Then you have to ask, where are the Asians and Latino’s that make up nearly THREE TIMES the black population? Are they in THREE TIMES the number of ads or is something severely skewed here in the minds of Hollywood and Madison Avenue?
 
The fact is that while white males make up the largest segment of our population, they were in only in 4% of the TV commercials! In most of those cases they are in their 60’s to 80’s and were pushing medication for debilitating diseases, reverse mortgages (Tom Selleck) or Medicare plans. While the study had many, many more alarming facts, one that really stands out is that virtually every ad campaign for new cars featured a woman driver except for Lincoln. In the commercials for automobiles there were more black women drivers than white women. Again, Europe was the exception here where Mercedes and BMW had NO VISIBLE DRIVERS!! They showed the cars cruising highways but never allowed a view where the driver was visible. I found that very interesting. Are they more interested in selling the product while we appear to be more interested in selling the political/racial message?
 
And it is not just our commercials that offer this skewed media driven unreality. It is also nearly impossible to turn on a show that doesn’t have a gay couple or LGBT component, yet in reality only one in eighteen should, if they want to accurately represent the less than 4.9% of the population that fall in this group. The results of this brainwashing are dramatic and very successful. Despite the low percentage in real life, when polled, Americans have been brainwashed to believe that 24% of all Americans are LGBT! Based on commercials, they must also believe that the “average” American family is biracial, that white men barely exist, and Latinos/Asians do not exist at all.
 
That is the magic and the tragedy of the fake, dishonest and unrealistic “woke” TV that we watch and are affected by 24/7, even though it is far afield from our reality. Ditto for the “woke” minority that follow mindlessly in its wake, thinking that this bizarre narrative is in fact real or justified, when it is merely an illusion and fabrication. They truly do control our entire thought process and will distort our perception of reality, if we allow them to.
 
While it is one thing to erase the stigma of single parenthood, bi-racialism, or unusual sexual preferences, it is another thing completely to portray them as the “Role Model” or “Norm”, as representative of our entire society, especially at the expense of true normality or realism. In this case, it looks like White, Latino, Asian and straight lives don’t matter according to them, and Black privilege with a side of LGBT has taken us over! Keep your head and don’t fall for it.

Thanks for tuning in today and for all you do for me.  Love and happiness to you all.  Until next time.

It’s Monday morning.  You guys should be in the middle of reading the last edition and I’m starting this one.  It’s President’s Day…sure wish we had one.  Watching the news on TV, which is always a mistake and they are talking about world effecting events; a fight at a basketball game, someone won a car race, and officially, we aren’t sure what COVID is going to do.

Well, I’m sure what I’m going to do.  I’m going to find something to laugh about.  I think I’m going to take Izzy to go see the movie Dog, which looks pretty good.  Mrs. Dragon and I used to love going to the movie, so tonight might be interesting, so we’ll see.  I’ll let you guys know.

But, for now, let’s throw some laughter out there, then I have some housework to get to.

That’s a whole lot less subtle than a sock on the door handle.

Why did the dragon stop fighting knights?

He was sick of canned food.

Or even deserves to have an opinion?

This is from Leah and it’s actually quite beautiful:

I sat with my anger long enough,
until he told me his real name was grief.

I burned 2,000 calories today!

That’s the last time I leave a pan of brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

From page 26 … as your pet dragon gets older, getting them a drink can become more problematic…

Me:  Hi, my name is Matt and I’m an alcoholic.

AAA:  Sir, this is triple A

Me:  I know.  I’m explaining why my car’s in the lake.

When they want to borrow it, it’s life or death…

But, when it’s time to pay it back, it’s hide and seek.

“DO NOT TOUCH”

Must be the scariest thing to read in Braille.

Yeah…I got nuthin’

And his funeral is next Saturday…

I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit.  So I announced I had won the Lottery and soon found out who all my relatives were.

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher.  It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward. ~ Oscar Wilde

Tomorrow, Tuesday, which is two days ago for you guys, will be 2’s day.  It will be February 22, 2022 or 2/22/2022 and at two, twenty-two and twenty-two seconds in the afternoon it will be 2:22:22 on 2/22/2022 and at eight, twenty-two and twenty-two seconds in the evening on a twenty-four hour clock it will be 2022:22 on 02/22/2022 or written out in a strictly military numeric format it would be 20220222202222 (year, month, day, hour, minute, second).  Yes, I am a nerd, but this excites me!

Getting old is weird because you’re still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

Funny thing about getting older:  Your eyesight starts getting weaker but your ability to see through people’s bullshit gets much better.

The Grocery Stores look like they need to go to the Grocery Store.

What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?  

Sharp as a marble, that one. 

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 

At this point, you can only impress me. 

I expected nothing, but I’m still disappointed. 

The bar was on the ground and you brought a shovel. 

They only have two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place.

We old men are fond of giving good advice, to console ourselves for being no loner in the position to give bad examples.

People who think laughter is the best medicine apparently have never had morphine.

Sometimes I think I should eat healthier but then I remember that one time Adam and Eve ate an apple and doomed all of humanity.

And that my friends is that for another day.  Love and happiness to you all.