Dragon Laffs #1998


Well, you guys are reading this and I am teaching class…and then teaching another class…and then tomorrow I’ll be teaching another class…rinse and repeat.  It’s going to be one of those weekends.  You know, I keep saying that teaching is my favorite part of the job, and it is.  But, it’s also getting to be the hardest part of my job.  Four hours at a time on my feet waiting for a hip replacement, a knee replacement, and work done on my back is getting harder and harder to do.  It sucks getting older.  Don’t let anyone tell you any different.  LOL! 

Izzy is working tonight, so I’m here on my own, so I’m spending the next couple of hours with you guys, so what do you say, let’s get some laughter on!

And this one is from Aussie Pete and I have to say…it kinda makes sense…

  The Bicycle Is killing our economy. 

General Director of Euro Exim Bank Ltd. got economists thinking when he said: A cyclist is a disaster for the country’s economy: He does not buy cars. He does not pay for insurance policies. He does not buy fuel, does not pay for the necessary maintenance and repairs. He does not use paid parking. He does not cause serious accidents. He does not require multi-lane highways. He does not get fat. He keeps fit. Healthy people are neither needed nor useful for the economy. They don’t buy medicine. They do not go to hospitals or doctors. Nothing is added to the country’s GDP. On the contrary, every new McDonald’s restaurant creates at least 30 jobs: 10 cardiologists, 10 dentists, 10 dietary experts and nutritionists, and obviously, people who work at the restaurant itself. Choose carefully: cyclist or McDonald’s? It is worth considering. Walking is even worse. Pedestrians don’t even buy bicycles.  

We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to select each image containing a boat.

Rap is like scissors — it always loses to rock.

And dragons … here there be dragons.

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked while trying to find new people to see you naked.  

ROFLMAO!

This one comes to us from Stephanie:

My husband said his forearms are itchy. 

I said, “don’t be silly, you only have two arms.”

Yup!  Been there, done that!

Wow!

I don’t pretend to be something I’m not…

I know I’m crazy…

And I own that shit!

There are times, at Dragon Laffs, Inc., that parking can be a little … difficult. 

Let it not be so with us.

WOKE:  A state of awareness only achieved by those DUMB enough to Find INJUSTICE in EVERYTHING EXCEPT their OWN BEHAVIOR.

How true that statement is…

It hasn’t been much time, but this too, is so very, very true.

Yeah, I saw this too.  And I thought to myself, WTF, is she finally losing it?

‘What the hell is she doing?’ Nancy Pelosi distracts viewers during State of Union by jumping out her seat, rubbing her knuckles in glee and grinding her teeth while Biden speaks solemnly about toxic burn pits

  • She distracted viewers with her awkward and erratic behavior throughout

  • Pelosi, 81, jumped out of her seat and rubbed her knuckles when Biden mentioned soldiers breathing in toxic smoke from burn pits 

  • She also appeared to be rubbing her tongue over her teeth and grimacing

  • Some asked if she was ‘OK’ while others remarked that she looked like she was ‘on drugs or drunk

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/video-of-nancy-pelosi-s-gestures-during-state-of-the-union-viewed-1-5m-times/ar-AAUvhAJ

In the Marine Corps, you have to know there’d be a lot of back and forth between rotor heads and Fighter/Attack Types.  Especially when you had separate bases right close to each other. 

One year, 3rd MAW was having a rash of accidents. The Wing Commander called a meeting at the base theater for all Group and Squadron C.O.’s… Plus all the Safety Officers and Assistants.

The General gave a collective “ass chewing” to all… In fact he went on so long, his audience was getting pissed. Instead of getting the “message”, lots of groans, shifting in seats,  and sniffs occurred. Finally the General concludes with… “Is there anyone out there who doesn’t understand what I said or has any questions”.  

Total silence…  But our Skipper was fearless, his name was Mike Gehring and then I see his right arm starting to ascend!? WTF? The General sees it and says, “State your name and question”.

 Mike doesn’t miss a beat… “LtCol. Mike Gehring Sir… I’m sick of all the preferential treatment the fighter pilots are getting around here… Something needs to be done about it”.

The General, along with all the others present were stunned!  Finally the General comes back with; “What the hell are you talking about”?  

Mike never skipped a beat… He says, “General, YOU might not have noticed… but believe me the rest of us have. Anywhere we go on base… every Primo parking spot is reserved for fighter Pilots!  The Club, the Exchange, the Dispensary, even the Wing Headquarters”!  The best, closest parking spot is always reserved for the jet Drivers!  You have HAD to have seen them General.

The General then replied, “No, I don’t think I have seen them, how are they labeled?”  

Mike, with a small smirk on his face replied, “Well sir, they’re marked…..’HANDICAPPED’.

For about 10 seconds there was total silence… the General smiled, then total pandemonium.  The General didn’t say another word. 
 

What the fuck is that?

And with a really long and hard weekend ahead of me, I’m not sure there will be an issue on Monday.  So, I’m going to end this tonight with one final meme to express my own personal feelings and the feelings of many of you, I’m sure.  Until next time, my friends…

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