Dragon Laffs #1994


It’s Monday morning.  You guys should be in the middle of reading the last edition and I’m starting this one.  It’s President’s Day…sure wish we had one.  Watching the news on TV, which is always a mistake and they are talking about world effecting events; a fight at a basketball game, someone won a car race, and officially, we aren’t sure what COVID is going to do.

Well, I’m sure what I’m going to do.  I’m going to find something to laugh about.  I think I’m going to take Izzy to go see the movie Dog, which looks pretty good.  Mrs. Dragon and I used to love going to the movie, so tonight might be interesting, so we’ll see.  I’ll let you guys know.

But, for now, let’s throw some laughter out there, then I have some housework to get to.

That’s a whole lot less subtle than a sock on the door handle.

Why did the dragon stop fighting knights?

He was sick of canned food.

Or even deserves to have an opinion?

This is from Leah and it’s actually quite beautiful:

I sat with my anger long enough,
until he told me his real name was grief.

I burned 2,000 calories today!

That’s the last time I leave a pan of brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

From page 26 … as your pet dragon gets older, getting them a drink can become more problematic…

Me:  Hi, my name is Matt and I’m an alcoholic.

AAA:  Sir, this is triple A

Me:  I know.  I’m explaining why my car’s in the lake.

When they want to borrow it, it’s life or death…

But, when it’s time to pay it back, it’s hide and seek.

“DO NOT TOUCH”

Must be the scariest thing to read in Braille.

Yeah…I got nuthin’

And his funeral is next Saturday…

I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit.  So I announced I had won the Lottery and soon found out who all my relatives were.

Experience is the hardest kind of teacher.  It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward. ~ Oscar Wilde

Tomorrow, Tuesday, which is two days ago for you guys, will be 2’s day.  It will be February 22, 2022 or 2/22/2022 and at two, twenty-two and twenty-two seconds in the afternoon it will be 2:22:22 on 2/22/2022 and at eight, twenty-two and twenty-two seconds in the evening on a twenty-four hour clock it will be 2022:22 on 02/22/2022 or written out in a strictly military numeric format it would be 20220222202222 (year, month, day, hour, minute, second).  Yes, I am a nerd, but this excites me!

Getting old is weird because you’re still that same enthusiastic kid trapped in a shitshow of a body.

Funny thing about getting older:  Your eyesight starts getting weaker but your ability to see through people’s bullshit gets much better.

The Grocery Stores look like they need to go to the Grocery Store.

What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?  

Sharp as a marble, that one. 

Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. 

At this point, you can only impress me. 

I expected nothing, but I’m still disappointed. 

The bar was on the ground and you brought a shovel. 

They only have two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place.

We old men are fond of giving good advice, to console ourselves for being no loner in the position to give bad examples.

People who think laughter is the best medicine apparently have never had morphine.

Sometimes I think I should eat healthier but then I remember that one time Adam and Eve ate an apple and doomed all of humanity.

And that my friends is that for another day.  Love and happiness to you all.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1994

  1. Stephanie says:

    That from Leah is beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s