Okay, I’m trying very, very, VERY hard not to rant.  Hell, I’m trying not to SCREAM at the top of my lungs.  I’m ready to fly to Washington D.C. and fly over head and raze the place!

We paid off trillions of dollars of student loans for stupid people who AGREED to take out these loans.  We, the American tax payers are being FORCED to pay for this. 

We paid trillions of dollars to Ukraine to fight their war.  We, the American tax payers are being FORCED to pay for this. 

We are paying for millions of illegal aliens (ILLEGAL) invading our country that are living off us, getting medical care, housing, food, money, social security, costing us trillions of dollars.  We, the American tax payers are being FORCED to pay for this. 

You KNOW I could go on and on.

But then, BUT THEN, the Secretary of the friggin’ Army has the unbelievable AUDACITY to tell our young soldiers, men and women who VOLUNTARILY have agreed to lay down their very LIVES for the rest of this bloody UNGRATEFUL country, he has the unmitigated GALL to tell them that if they can’t afford to feed their families they should go on food stamps!  OUR MILITARY MEMBERS ON FOOD STAMPS!  AND THAT’S HIS RECOMMENDATION!!!!  I am so far beyond astounded that I don’t have words! 

WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY?!  These young men and women should be living in luxury!  An E-9, the highest enlisted rank, THE HIGHEST, after 20 years of service, makes $68,000 and can retire on 50% pay.  So his retirement, before taxes is $34,000.  Do you think you can live on $34K a year?  Before taxes?  All this for PUTTING YOU LIFE ON THE LINE FOR 20 YEARS!!!!

Congress can get a FULL retirement with as little as ten years of government service.  And they get paid a hell of a lot more than the military does and not a single one of them is willing to put their life on the line for any of us.  How is any of this fair?

Let them go on Food Stamps?  That’s the answer?  That’s the RIGHT thing to do?  How can you look yourself in the mirror?

It was the same way when I was a young airman, I almost always had a part time job cooking somewhere.  It’s how I became such a world famous cook.  Many of the guys I worked with were on Food Stamps, but it was frowned upon and kept quiet.  Now, it’s the suggestion. 

Okay, time to move on to laughter or I’m going to explode.  

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy.  I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.  Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.  Please don’t be upset…I shall be home before midnight. 

When the Johnny came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining table. 

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old.

As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college.  I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.  He is young, virile and, like your secretary, 18 years old.  As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow!

The “Grey Haired Brigade”

The typical U.S. household headed by a person aged 65 or older has a net worth 47 times greater than a household headed by someone under 35, according to an analysis of census data released Monday.

They like to refer to us as senior citizens, old fogies, geezers, and in some cases dinosaurs.  Some of us are “Baby Boomers” getting ready to retire.  Others have been retired for some time.  We walk a little slower these days, and our eyes and hearing are not what they once were.  We worked hard, raised our children, worshiped our God, and have grown old together.  Yes, we are the ones some refer to as being over the hill, and that is probably true.  But before writing us off completely, there are a few things that need to be taken into consideration.

In school we studied English, history, math, and science, which enabled us to lead America into the technological age.  Most of us remember what outhouses were, many of us with firsthand experience.  We remember the days of telephone party-lines, 25 cent gasoline, and milk and ice being delivered to our homes.  For those of you who don’t know what an icebox is, today they are electric and referred to as refrigerators.  A few even remember when cars were started with a crank.  Yes, we lived those days.

We are probably considered old fashioned and outdated by many.  But there are a few things you need to remember before completely writing us off.  We won World War II, fought in Korea and Viet Nam.  We can quote The Pledge of Allegiance and know where to place our hand while doing so.  We wore the uniform of our country with pride and lost many friends on the battlefield.  We didn’t fight for the Socialist States of America; we fought for the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.”  We wore different uniforms but carried the same flag.

We know the words to the “Star Spangled Banner,” “America,” and “America the Beautiful” by heart, and you may even see some tears running down our cheeks as we sing.  We have lived what many of you have only read in history books, and we feel no obligation to apologize to anyone for America.

Yes, we are old and slow these days but rest assured, we have at least one good fight left in us.  We have loved this country, fought for it, and died for it, and now we are going to save it.  It is our country, and nobody is going to take it away from us.  We took oaths to defend America against all enemies, foreign and domestic, and that is an oath we plan to keep.  There are those who want to destroy this land we love but, like our founders, there is no way we are going to remain silent.

It was mostly the young people of this nation who elected Obama, and now Biden, and the Democratic Congress.  You fell for the “Hope and Change” which in reality was nothing but “Hype and Lies.”  You youngsters have tasted socialism and seen evil face to face and have found you don’t like it after all.  You make a lot of noise, but most are all too interested in their careers or “Climbing the Social Ladder” to be involved in such mundane things as patriotism and voting.

Many of those who fell for the “Great Lie” in 2008 and 2020 are now having buyer’s remorse.  With all the education we gave you, you didn’t have sense enough to see through the lies and instead drank the ‘Kool-Aid.’  Now you’re paying the price and complaining about it; no jobs, lost mortgages, higher gasoline prices, higher taxes, inflation, shortages, and less freedom.

This is what you voted for, and this is what you got.  We entrusted you with the Torch of Liberty, and you traded it for a paycheck and a fancy house.

Well, don’t worry youngsters, the Grey-Haired Brigade is here, and in the mid-term 2022 and in 2024 elections we are going to take back our nation.  We may drive a little slower than you would like, but we get where we’re going, and in 2022 and 2024 we’re going to the polls by the millions.

This land does not belong to the man in the White House nor to the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Adam Schiff, etc.  It belongs to “We the People,” and “We the People” plan to reclaim our land and our freedom.

We hope this time you will do a better job of preserving it and passing it along to our grandchildren.

So, the next time you have the chance to say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand up, put your hand over your heart, honor our country, and thank God for the old geezers of the “Gray-Haired Brigade.”

Footnote: This is spot on.  I am another Gray-Haired Geezer signing on.  I will circulate this to other Gray-Haired Geezers all over this once great county.

Can you feel the ground shaking???  It’s not an earthquake, it is a STAMPEDE!

You and I are Members.

Don’t Delete.  Just Read and Pass it on!

Most of the  time I would have deleted the last couple of lines, but because I so much agree with this, because I’m also a Gray-Haired Geezer, and because I know many of you are as well…I decided to leave it in.

The heartburn I get after razing a few villages is overwhelming!

My Neighbor just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

Okay, that’s just weird.

FUN FACT:  Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men actually spend thinking.

Seeing how some people wear their masks, I now understand how contraceptives fail.

Grotesque Fire the Clumsy?  (I don’t like this game)

You are indeed a special kind of stupid, aren’t you?

See…us “normal” mythological creatures don’t stand a chance with the women.  They ALWAYS choose the bad-boys.

If I hear even one of you youngsters out there say, “Who’s Mulder and Scully?”  You’re getting kicked out of the Campground so hard and so far, I swear you’ll bounce!

“Excuse me, sir…are you leaving?  Are you done with your bees?  I didn’t …”

Ask your doctor if a drug with 32 pages of side effects is right for you.

My wife complained that my life revolving around Facebook has destroyed the way we communicate as a family…

…so I blocked her.

Okay, I came up with a new dating app idea!

You match up with people who are on the same meds as you are on.

We’ll call it “Relationscripts”.

Whoever thinks money doesn’t bring Happiness, transfer it over to my account.

Yes, this next one is an old joke, but it is still funny…

“An Old Biker”….

So an 80 year old man went to the doctor for a check-up and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in….

The doctor asked, “To what do you attribute your good health?”….

The old timer said, “I’m a biker and that’s why I’m in such good shape”….

“I’m up well before daylight on Sundays and out sliding around corners, “shootin” sand washes and riding up and down the steepest, wildest mountains I can find at the crack of dawn”….

The doctor said, “Well, I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?”….

The old biker said, “Who said my dad’s dead?”….

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive? How old is he?”….

The old biker said, “He’s 99 years old and, in fact, he went riding with me this Sunday, and that’s why he’s still alive… he’s a biker too”….

The doctor said, “Well, that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it”…

How about your dad’s dad?….

How old was he when he died?….

The old biker said, “Who said my grandpa’s dead?”….

The doctor said, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living!”….

“How old is he?”….

The old biker replied, “He’s 117 years old”….

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, “I guess he went riding with you this Sunday too?”….

The old timer said, “No… Grandpa couldn’t go this week because he got married”….

The Doctor said in amazement, “Got married!! Good Lord!!!”….

“Why would a 117-year-old guy want to get married?”….

To this the old biker smiled😁 and answered,

“Who said he wanted to?” ☺️😊

Too much Sugar Preaching leads to Truth Decay!

No.  I’m not going to explain it to you youngsters, I won’t give you any hints.  It’s funny as heck and you need to figure it out on your own.

Really?  It’s not? 

Okay…I can’t help myself…I’ll help you youngsters with the last cartoon anyway…

I can remember being a kid, working in the backyard, and singing that song at the top of my lungs and when I got to the part where they say “oh hell” my mom hollering at me at the back door!  

There was something else I was supposed to talk to you guys about and now I can’t remember what it is…dang…Oh well, we’ll keep going while I try to figure out what it is…

We are living in a generation that would unplug your life support, just to charge their cellphone.

Being white doesn’t make you a racist and being black doesn’t make you a slave, being an idiot however comes in both colors.

I’m laughing my butt off watching the democrats on Martha Vineyard go absolutely CRAZY over 50 illegal aliens being dumped on their front doorstep!  They just called out 100 National Guardsmen to handle these 50 illegals.  They are saying that the Governor of Florida who sent them kidnapped them and all kinds of crap!  Oh, I’m laughing so hard!  But, yet it’s fine for little towns in Texas and Arizona of 2,500 people to deal with thousands of illegals.  That’s just fine.  You pansy hypocrites! CLOSE THE BORDER!!!!  BIDEN IS EVIL!!

You’re welcome.

The Whelpling just sent this one to me…

An old man crashed his car into a very expensive automobile.  The owner of the expensive automobile jumps out and confronts the old man and says, “Give me $10,000 cash or I will beat you to a pulp!”

The old man replies, “Whoah wait buddy, I don’t have that much money but let me call my son, he trains dolphins.”

The old man dials his son and as he is about to speak the owner of the expensive car yanks the phone out of his hand and says, “So you train dolphins, well your old man just hit and damaged my car, you bring me $10,000 or I’m gonna beat the heck outta him and you!” 

The son answers, “Okay, give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.”  In exactly 15 minutes the son pulls up in a Jeep, ten men jump out and beat the heck out of the expensive car owner. 

Meanwhile, the son walks over to his father and says, “Dad, I train Navy Seals, not dolphins.”

HEY!!!!  
It really ain’t like that.  We stay in really crappy Hotels…I’M KIDDING!!!

I’ve done some terrible things for money…

…like getting up early to go to work.

And Stephanie just sent me this one…

Someone once put up a nameplate in our engineering office:

Nameplate:  Herdaing Katz, Engineering Manager

I have no idea if it was an actual person or not.  I was afraid to ask!

Well, I ran out of room on my Wall, so I had to create a new wall.  I think I got everyone transferred over.  Let’s take a look…

I don’t remember who Blast Specialties, Inc. is.  I do remember that it is an account of one of you guys that you use every year to make donations and I can’t remember who you are.  Sigh.  Okay, moving on.  
We are just about out of time for this year’s donations.  Nine more days from the day you are reading this.  Sept 26 the bill gets paid and I stop asking for money.  Not that you can stop donating.  You guys can donate year round if you want, but my one yearly push ends and I stop talking about money, because I HATE IT!  This is not about the money.  It’s about the fun and the happiness and bringing a little of each into all of our lives a couple times a week.  So, for almost the final time, think about buying me a cup of coffee and for all of you guys, listed above, and I sure hope I didn’t miss anyone…

Thank you guys…until next time.  Love and Happiness to you all.

Good Thursday to you all.  I hope you all are having a great week.  I just came off a tough weekend…but…all things considered, it wasn’t as tough as it’s been in the past.  And I am quite happy about that.  I was told an interesting tidbit this weekend.  I found out that I have a reputation on base.

Yup, your humble author of Dragon Laffs, who finds such joy in bringing smiles to other people, has a horrible reputation on base!  Can you believe the horror of that?!  I was told, that it is quite well known by everyone on base, that if you have to take one of my classes, you MUST show up on time! (Oh the horror!) Because if you don’t, I will lock you out of the classroom and won’t let you in!  

And yes, I’ll admit it, it’s partially true.  If you show up to one of my classes late, unless there is a REALLY good justification, I will turn you away.  So far, all the way up to the rank of Major.  My reason behind it is that it’s not fair to the people who did show up on time to hold them up while we get your self-important self caught up AND you are supposed to be a full grown adult in the military and expected to be WHERE you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to be there.  But, I don’t normally lock them out.  It’s much more fun to pick on them when they argue with me when they show up late.  And then when they go back and complain about me to their commanders, invariably, their commanders back me.  So, it’s a pretty good reputation to have.  I’m so happy. 

And speaking of happy, let’s get everybody happy and 

This is a cool looking kitchen…in a really weird looking way!

That is one way to make a bath tub…

HEY!!!  I’ve got a new email address!!!! You can now write to me write here at Dragon Laffs!!  How much easier does it get than THAT!!  All you have to do is address your emails to 

Isn’t      that     awesome!!!   Tis almost professional!   Now, for the next couple of months, we’ll see how user friendly it is and see whether we’ll keep it or not. LOL!

Women are constantly being inundated with ads for expensive products to erase our wrinkles, to erase our “age”.  Those lines on my face?  Some are from years of laughing with the people I love.  Some are from worrying about the children I am lucky enough to call my own.  Some are from summer days spent at the beach.  Some are from people I’ve loved and lost.  All are evidence of a life lived.  So if, when I look in the mirror, I see my “age” reflecting back at me…you know what?  I’m good with that.

So many people these days are too judgmental.  

I can tell just by looking at them.

And here I am posing for the camera…take my picture already, this hurts!!

The longer I live, the more convinced I am that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.

Or just a place to dump the unsavory.

I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise…

And I was right.

True friends don’t get offended when you insult them.  They laugh and insult you with something even better.

Emergency Exits around here really aren’t what you would expect.

Yes, it’s an old joke, but that makes it all the more funny.

I told myself that I should stop
DRINKING
But I’m not about to listen to a drunk that talks to himself.

This book on marriage says treat your wife like you treated her on the first date.  So, after dinner tonight I am dropping her off at her parents’ house.

Apparently you have to eat healthy more than once to get in shape.  This is cruel and unfair.

That is way cool…

(OWI is an acronym for operating while intoxicated)

Three Drunk Drivers Crash Into Each Other in Wisconsin, Nicely Done!

O.K. so let me try to explain this complicated crash scene. It’s filled with drifting, a vanishing act, and three OWI’s handed out. I’m sorry to laugh at an accident, but honestly this entire story makes me chuckle.

Drinky number one in a Ford F250 drifted into another lane, striking drinky number two in a Yukon….head on collision, ouch. Along comes drinky number three in a Chevrolet Equinox approaching that accident, and BAM! You have three drunk drivers crashed into each other. But wait there’s more…

Drinky number two (Yukon) had his vehicle fully engulfed in flames because of the accident. When police and EMT’s arrived, drinky number two was nowhere to be found. He did turn up at a nearby hospital though.

Let’s go to the board for the final score:

• Kraig Herbrechtsmeir, 56, his third OWI offense

• Christopher Sanchez, 33, first OWI offense

• Herbert Aguirre-Lopez, 45, first OWI offense

The recap…no one was seriously injured or died because of this, so that’s a good thing. This strange happening took three drunk drivers off the road, another good thing. This is probably the most thrilling news story to ever happen in Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin and I’m sure it will become legend in local coffee shops and bars.  “Hey aren’t you one of those guys that got drunk and crashed into each other?”https://q985online.com/three-drunk-drivers-crash-into-each-other-in-wisconsin-nicely-done/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral

 

Only a fool believes that electricity used for air conditioning harms the planet, but electricity used to charge a Tesla does not.

I saw an attractive woman spank her kid in McDonald’s after he threw his fries on the ground…

…so I threw mine on the ground.

And I have to dash to pick up Izzy from work, so we’re ending this right here.  Don’t forget to buy me a cup of coffee.  Thanks to all my heroes.  Love and Happiness to you all.

Well, my dear Izzy’s birthday went off without a hitch, if not a little boring.  She was very happy with her cake and her presents and going out to eat and being alcohol free on her 21st, so I guess I’m a proud daddy that my little girl is not interested in alcohol, but I was kinda hoping to buy her her first drink.  But, that’s cool. 

We did smoke a joint together, so that was nice.

I’m kidding.  Just seeing if you guys were awake.

Anyway, I did have the question asked how do you donate.  Well, there are several ways actually.  The most traditional way is at the top right hand corner of the web page is a donate button that looks like this:

Just click on that and it will take you right through it. 

Now, the next thing you can do is to send me an email and I will send you my snail mail address and you can send me a check or something like that.  The email you can write to me at is impishdragon@gmail.com. 

Or the third thing you can do, that we just found out about is to transfer money directly to me from bank to bank with a thing called Zelle.  Most banks have it (if my little credit union has it, your bank probably has it.) by sending it to my business email of rem.wydock@sbcglobal.net.  The nice part about that one is unlike PayPal that the donation button uses, it doesn’t take a cut of the money.  And those are the three ways to donate to Dragon Laffs.

So, in an effort to get to the important stuff, let’s get to the laughs and we’ll talk about other stuff as time moves on.

Lots of craziness coming…

 

Some people are so full of shit you would think they were conceived during ANAL SEX.

Threats to freedom of speech, writing and action, though often trivial in isolation, are cumulative in their effect and, unless checked, lead to a general disrespect for the rights of the citizen.

Which is exactly what we have going on right now!

Being a Welder is Easy.

IT’S LIKE RIDING A BIKE EXCEPT THE BIKE IS ON FIRE, YOU’RE ON FIRE, EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE.

Our long distance Ubers are a little different then what you might be used to.

TWO THINGS:

1.  Where have you been all my life?

2.  Can you please go back there?

Football season has started and I’m watching the Colts play Houston.  They are now in overtime and for a season opener, what an exciting game!  Both teams have a lot of new players, lots of mistakes have been made, but still a super exciting game!  The only real problem is that my Green Bay Packers started playing ten minutes ago…but I can’t take my eyes off of this one.  LOL!  And…………………………………………………………………….. two seconds left…………………………………. and it ends in a tie!  Nice game.
And I tune in to the Packer / Viking Game and my Packers are losing 7 to nothing.  Just in time to watch some rookie, who was wide open drop the ball…sigh.  Okay, back to the laughs.

The Days of Good Grammar Has Went.

Welcome Home!

There’s a Queen song in here somewhere…

I had a Goldfish that could break dance on the carpet.

But only for like 20 seconds.

And only once.

I’m not sure if this is real or not, I was able to find several pictures of women with 3 breasts, but none with 4 and none with them at weird locations, so I’m leaning toward photoshop, but who knows.

Leah sent me this and I like it a lot.

Keep driving! 

A young woman was driving with her father and they ran into a storm. The young woman asked her father: What should I do? Her father told her, “Keep driving.”

The cars began to edge, the storm was getting worse. What should I do dad? – “Keep driving,” replied her Father.

Up ahead, a trailer was pulling up as well. She said, “Dad, should I stop? It’s terrible and everyone is stopping!” Her Father said, “No, keep driving!”

Now the storm was stronger, but she obeyed her dad, and soon she could see a clearing ahead.

After a couple of kilometers she was again in a quiet, calm and sunny area. Her father told her, “Now you can stop and go out.” She said, “But why now?” He told her: “When you go out, look back, all the people who surrendered are still in the storm, you did not give up and your storm is behind you. If you are going through “hard times”. Remember even if everyone else, even the strongest, stops or gives up, you keep going, because soon your storm will end and the Sun will shine and shine on you again .

There should be a law that Electric Cars can only be charged by Wind or Solar Power.  If you’re giving up Fossil Fuel, then give it up.

Studies show, the most expensive vehicle to operate, is a Costco shopping cart.

I still find it hilarious to imagine if normal people with regular jobs got traded at their jobs like NFL players get traded at theirs.

You just come into work one day and your boss tells you that you are getting sent to Subway in Toms River, New Jersey for a 5th round draft pick. 

Unless it’s a Saturday and Sunday that you have to work, and then they last ten times that long.

Taking a dog named “Shark” to the beach is a bad idea.

I want to share some stuff that really makes my day when I receive it…

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body prevents cellulite. 

APPARENTLY you can’t do it Starbucks. 

And now the cops are here…

I was sitting drinking coffee in my slippers this morning, when I thought to myself…

I really need to wash some cups.

Good For Them!!!!

And I’ve explained to you about HOW to make a donation, so now it’s just time for me to say to you to Please buy me a cup of coffee.  If everyone who reads this were to just buy me a cup of coffee this one time a year, all the bills would be paid for the website and we would not have to worry about going to an ad-based website…which I’m not ever going to do.  As soon as it gets to the point that donations don’t cover the bills, I’ll know that my time is up and I’m no longer serving a purpose or fulfilling a need.  I don’t think that time is now, in fact, I may even expand a little this year if you guys continue to be generous.  We’ll see.  Anyway, here’s our Wall of Fame at this point.

And with that it’s time for me to say good night.  My poor Packers are getting their butts kicked.  I’ll not give up on them yet.  You guys who are reading this Monday morning know how it turned out.  But, for me, it’s still up in the air.  May you all be blessed with Love and Happiness until we meet again.

Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, as we found out 21 years ago tomorrow.  We were brutally attacked and many, many people stepped up to help.  From fire fighters to police officers to ordinary men and women and even young people.  Then there are the every day heroes, the doctors and nurses and people that help that we expect, and even the ones that we don’t expect.  What about the one who holds the door for you or the one who waits and lets you go first?  Especially on those days when you just aren’t feeling it.  Yup, there are heroes everywhere.  

My darling Izzy Dragon was born the day before those bastards flew those plans into those buildings.  The first time I laid my eyes on her, I had driven from Peru, Indiana to Indianapolis while listening to the news cast on the radio of the planes crashing into the towers.  Throughout the years this young lady has done some amazing thing, but the most heroic has to be the way she has handled the death of her mother and the support she has given to me since then.  We both promised to have each other’s backs and I would hope that she would say that I have held up my part of the bargain, but I can DEFINITELY say that she has held up hers.  So…

I also want to take a minute to say thanks to Kenn and Peggy who sent me a great personal note with their donation that came in the mail the other day.  It touched me very much.  Thank you very much for your kind words, it meant an awful lot.  And you said that you had been up by where I live and work a zillion times, well, the funny thing was, after looking at YOUR address, it turns out that you live about 15 minutes from my in-laws, where my dear Mary grew up, right on the same street you live on.  It is such a small world.  Thank you very much.  It touched my heart.  And I’ll get to more thank you’s shortly.

I have so many questions…

I will not be addressing you by your chosen pronouns.  If you look like a man, it’s sir.  If you look like a woman, it’s ma’am.  It’s not my job to validate your mental illness.

CONFORMITY
Is doing what everyone else is doing, regardless of what is right.

MORALITY
Is doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

Dressed up, partying and at the bar.

Just so you know, nothing accidentally goes in your butt.

SINCERELY,

THE ER STAFF

I let my blind friend borrow money the other day.  He told me he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me…

Wait a minute…

How do you tell the gender of an ant?

Drop it in water.
If it sinks, GIRL ANT.

If it floats…

And it does work … because so many people have taken pictures of their heads in freezers and labeled it as 241543903.  It’s an honest to goodness internet urban legend.

The traffic guards are a little strange in my neighborhood…

I Love raising caterpillars as pets…

It always gives me butterflies.

Yes, I know that was terrible!

If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they’d leave that one on too.

My kids wanted to know what it was like to be a mom, so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.

[A woman sends a text to her husband] 

Wife: Honey, don’t forget to buy BREAD on your way home from work and your girlfriend Valerie says hi. 

Husband:  Who is Valerie? 

Wife:  Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text. 

Husband:  But, I’m with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me. 

Wife:  What??!  Where are you? 

Husband:  Near the bakery. 

Wife:  Wait!  I’m coming right now!

[After 5 minutes the wife sends another text] 

Wife:  I’m at the bakery, where are you? 

Husband:  I’m at work.  Now that you’re at that bakery, buy the bread! XXOO

And again…I’ve run out of time.  Here’s our list of heroes for today…

Thank you all for your donations.  We’re almost out of time.  Please think about buying me a cup of coffee before time runs out.  Love and happiness to you all.  There may not be an issue on Monday due to me working this weekend and Izzy Dragon’s Birthday, but we’ll see how the Wheel Turns.

It’s Monday and you are reading this on Thursday, so let me tell you what has happened so far on Monday.  Today was Labor Day and boy did my friends and family Labor for me today!  My dart family came through for me like gang busters!

Remember the tree I told you came crashing through my fence and was laying in my neighbor’s backyard?  Well, this is what it looked like with my fence behind me:

And this is what that same tree looks like now after about an hour and a half’s work:

My deputy from work brought out the dumpster, he owns his own dumpster business (amongst many other things he does) and the guys also went out with me and got a piece of fencing and put the fence back together again and helped me with my dryer vent that was clogged up!  It was one heck of a day!! 

And my son and grandson, after everyone else left had a heart to heart to heart talk Father to Son, Other Father to Other Son and Grandpa to Grandson.  It was a really, really good afternoon in that regard as well.  I think a lot of things were said that needed to be said and some male bonding happened that may have needed to happen for some time now.

I am so blessed.  Just like you guys have always had my back here on DL, those guys have always had my back here where I live. 

Wow! 

Crying for real now … I feel so unworthy of the love that surrounds me lately.  God has indeed blessed my life.  Thanks to all of you.  And before I start to get maudlin let’s get this party started, shall we?

A 72 hour hold in a Psych Unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.

Amen.  And knowing you can still teeter her totter.  

You can cast a net for tuna, but you can’t tune a castanet.  

You can’t really tell by looking at it, but this is one of the cameras on the wall at Dragon Laffs Headquarters that spies on people.  Not our employees, because we don’t spy on our employees.  But people who come to visit or sneak on our campus, or things like that.

Dude, she is a keeper!  You have GOT to find one that is the same KIND of crazy that you are.  I mean it helps that she is AS crazy as you are, but when they are also the same KIND OF CRAZY as you are… OH MAN!!  It’s glorious!!!

Hey!  It’s my cousin Vinny.  Yeah, I know.  And the thing is, he really hates that movie, so I love picking on him about it.

And the vote … and they breed!

What it they close the grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? 

I don’t even know where Little Debbie lives.

I know this one!  She lives two doors down from them little elves that live in that Keebler Tree.

The inventor of Auto-Correct has died and his funnel is tomato

Some of the best advice I’ve been given, “Don’t take criticism from people you would never go to for advice.”

This is our IT specialist.  She’s the one who installed all the cameras.

Sometimes I talk to myself.

Then we both laugh and laugh.

Awww, that poor scrunchy faced little baby!

Weather Forecasters has mentioned “Heat Wave” so often, Martha and the Vandellas are starting to get royalty checks.

I have NO idea what’s going on here.

There are no truer words EVER spoken my friends.  NONE!  Take it from someone who KNOWS.  Cherish those moments.  Revel in them.  Hold on to them for as long as you possibly can.

Each year in the United States, 16 people are attached by sharks and 6,000 by goats.  We don’t need shark week, we need…

It is an easier way to travel, but much slower.

Absolutely.  That makes perfect sense.  I won’t … or um … will do that.

I was always taught to respect my elders.  But, it keeps getting harder to find one.

And I’ve run out of time.  I’ve been saying that all day.  And there is so much more I wanted to tell you guys about.  My first grief group on base went off today and it was good.  I have more people to thank for their donations, the heroes wall will have to wait…so many things.  God is blessing me every day and the people that I want to share it with, you guys…sigh.  Is it right to pray for a couple of more hours to be added to every day?  May you each be blessed with Love and Happiness.  Until Saturday…which I am working through and Saturday is Izzy Dragon’s 21st Birthday!!!!!!