Dragon Laffs #2074


Heroes come in all shapes and sizes, as we found out 21 years ago tomorrow.  We were brutally attacked and many, many people stepped up to help.  From fire fighters to police officers to ordinary men and women and even young people.  Then there are the every day heroes, the doctors and nurses and people that help that we expect, and even the ones that we don’t expect.  What about the one who holds the door for you or the one who waits and lets you go first?  Especially on those days when you just aren’t feeling it.  Yup, there are heroes everywhere.  

My darling Izzy Dragon was born the day before those bastards flew those plans into those buildings.  The first time I laid my eyes on her, I had driven from Peru, Indiana to Indianapolis while listening to the news cast on the radio of the planes crashing into the towers.  Throughout the years this young lady has done some amazing thing, but the most heroic has to be the way she has handled the death of her mother and the support she has given to me since then.  We both promised to have each other’s backs and I would hope that she would say that I have held up my part of the bargain, but I can DEFINITELY say that she has held up hers.  So…

I also want to take a minute to say thanks to Kenn and Peggy who sent me a great personal note with their donation that came in the mail the other day.  It touched me very much.  Thank you very much for your kind words, it meant an awful lot.  And you said that you had been up by where I live and work a zillion times, well, the funny thing was, after looking at YOUR address, it turns out that you live about 15 minutes from my in-laws, where my dear Mary grew up, right on the same street you live on.  It is such a small world.  Thank you very much.  It touched my heart.  And I’ll get to more thank you’s shortly.

I have so many questions…

I will not be addressing you by your chosen pronouns.  If you look like a man, it’s sir.  If you look like a woman, it’s ma’am.  It’s not my job to validate your mental illness.

CONFORMITY
Is doing what everyone else is doing, regardless of what is right.

MORALITY
Is doing what is right regardless of what everyone else is doing.

Dressed up, partying and at the bar.

Just so you know, nothing accidentally goes in your butt.

SINCERELY,

THE ER STAFF

I let my blind friend borrow money the other day.  He told me he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me…

Wait a minute…

How do you tell the gender of an ant?

Drop it in water.
If it sinks, GIRL ANT.

If it floats…

And it does work … because so many people have taken pictures of their heads in freezers and labeled it as 241543903.  It’s an honest to goodness internet urban legend.

The traffic guards are a little strange in my neighborhood…

I Love raising caterpillars as pets…

It always gives me butterflies.

Yes, I know that was terrible!

If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they’d leave that one on too.

My kids wanted to know what it was like to be a mom, so I woke them up at 2am to let them know my sock came off.

[A woman sends a text to her husband] 

Wife: Honey, don’t forget to buy BREAD on your way home from work and your girlfriend Valerie says hi. 

Husband:  Who is Valerie? 

Wife:  Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw my text. 

Husband:  But, I’m with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me. 

Wife:  What??!  Where are you? 

Husband:  Near the bakery. 

Wife:  Wait!  I’m coming right now!

[After 5 minutes the wife sends another text] 

Wife:  I’m at the bakery, where are you? 

Husband:  I’m at work.  Now that you’re at that bakery, buy the bread! XXOO

And again…I’ve run out of time.  Here’s our list of heroes for today…

Thank you all for your donations.  We’re almost out of time.  Please think about buying me a cup of coffee before time runs out.  Love and happiness to you all.  There may not be an issue on Monday due to me working this weekend and Izzy Dragon’s Birthday, but we’ll see how the Wheel Turns.

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6 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2074

  1. Stephanie says:

    Happy Birthday Izzy

  2. Michael Collett says:

    Thanks, once again for lifting an old mans spirit, today.

  3. kris72663 says:

    Happy Birthday to Izzy!

  4. jhjoseph says:

    Can you let me know how one makes a donation. I don’t see any sections that state how? Great funnys. Thanks. Joe Holtzman

  5. Alan F says:

    Happy birthday to your Izzy. Take care of each other.

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