Just got that header today from Aussie Pete, but I liked it so much it jumped to the front of the line! That is me every single night before bed. I READ. I don’t scroll, I don’t look at Facebook, YouTube, or anything else. I read. I have the Kindle app on my phone and on my tablet and they are synced and I read … a LOT.

Anyway, been an interesting day so far. Monday. My last day off of a LONG weekend. I should have gone back to work today, but took an extra day of leave just because I wanted to. I took a picture of the new fence to the City building to see if I could keep them from coming back by the house … save them a trip and they seemed very thankful and hopefully that will satisfy them and they will now leave me alone and the complaining neighbors will … well … stop their complaining.

Anyway, after this hard weekend and everything that I’ve been through and the tremendous evidence that has slapped me around of how God has blessed me and kept me safe in His hands, no matter what. I need today to sit back, relax, praise God and spend some time with my friends. So …

This one is kind of interesting…

Kansas Law

The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.

I want to know what episode in history made this law necessary?

Spoiled Squirrel

As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my handbag under the seat. 

Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag.  

When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. 

One man handed me my purse, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my handbag. 

“We’re required to inventory lost wallets and handbags,” he explained. “I think you’ll find everything there.”  

As I started to put my belongings back into the bag, the man continued, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch.  

Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse.  

And we’d like to see just how you do it.”

I agree, SO MUCH!!

I recall a time when my son was about 18 months old. My wife had him strapped in a backpack and was rushing to catch the bus. 

Apparently she mis-stepped and fell down an entire flight of stairs, (13 to be exact). 

She was bruised, bleeding and had torn her jeans … but her main concern was, naturally, for our child. 

Her fears were alleviated though when from behind her she heard a gleeful giggle followed by, “Again!” 

NO. KIDDING!!!

I got news for you, he knows scripture better than any of us. He’s had a lot longer to study and learn than we have. He will tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth … just not in that order or all at the same time. He knows how the story ends. He knows he can’t win, but to him, if he can take as many of us with him to hell, that’s a win for him. Don’t let him take you.

This one is special for my favorite nurse!

A Doctor died and was being screened for the destination of his soul’s eternal afterlife. 

Unfortunately he’d been a bit of a lout and greedy to boot, so he wasn’t quite certain what to expect. 

Upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him and informed the Doctor that he would be allowed to choose from one of the doors before him, but that because of his greed and misdeeds, he may find the choices rather disturbing. 

Upon opening the first door, he saw fire and brimstone of truly Biblical proportions, a horrifying sight, and quickly closed it. 

After looking through the second door, he was even more horrified to see various tortured souls ravaged by plague, disease, and other maladies too terrible to mention, while an evil guard stood watch. 

Nervously he opened the third door to discover groups of white-coated male physicians, being waited on hand and foot by beautiful young women dressed in little more than nursing caps! 

He rushed excitedly back to Saint Peter and said, “I’ll take the third door!” 

“Oh, no, I’m afraid that’s not possible,” exclaimed Saint Peter. “That’s NURSES’ Hell!”

Low tech boss:

WHAT SIZE ENVELOPES DO WE USE

FOR E-MAIL?

Noah was standing at the gangplank checking off the pairs of animals when he saw three camels trying to get on board. 

“Wait a minute!” said the patriarch. “Two of each is the limit. One of you will have to stay behind.” 

“It won’t be me,” said the first camel. “I’m the camel whose back is broken by the last straw.” 

“I’m the one people swallow while straining at a gnat,” said the second one. 

“I,” said the third, “am the one that shall pass through the eye of a needle sooner than a rich man shall enter Heaven.” 

“Come on in,” said Noah, “the world is going to need all of you.”

Truly, Truly Funny!

And again, we reach the end of another issue…well…episode. My issues will NEVER end. Until next time, my dear friends…