Tomorrow is the day! Get your butt out there and
As Robert Heinlein once said, and I’m paraphrasing here, there may not be anyone you want to vote for, but there most certainly is someone is you want to vote against. Get out there and vote! That’s tomorrow and it’s important.
I was going to tell you all about the “Getting Through The Holidays” special Grief Group thingy that I went through Saturday morning, but in all honesty, it was pretty damn hard. I spent most of the day yesterday with tears in my eyes and spent most of the day today, Sunday sick to my stomach. So, I think I’m going to pass on that, at least for now. So, in the meantime
A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar.
He waves to her, and much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn’t take long before he is on the stool next to her.
They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman, “You’re really hot!”
You’re pretty cute, too,” she says to him. “I’ll tell you what. I live just around the corner. What do you think about coming up to my place?”
It sounds great!” the man eagerly replies.
“Before we go up there though”, the woman says, “I have to ask you one question: Do you like doing it Greek style?”
“Well…uh…I’m not exactly sure what that is, man answers, “but it sure sounds interesting and I’m willing to learn! Let’s go!”
So the two of them walk over to her apartment.
As soon as they get inside the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can’t believe his eyes. The woman has an incredibly beautiful body.
“Now, you’re *sure*,” the woman asks, “that you want to do it Greek style?”
“Definitely!” the man replies.
“All right, then,” says the woman. “Take off all your clothes, and get up on the bed on yours hands and knees.”
“Sounds like fun!” the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs onto the bed on his hands and knees. The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man.
She kneels down in front of his head. She asks him again, “Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?”
“Yeah! Yeah!” says the man.
The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him in a lock hold. He can’t move at all, and his head is pressing right into her chest. One more time she says, “Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?”
The man’s muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts.
“Yeah!” he mumbles, “Greek style!”
The woman’s grip on him tightens like a vice, and she yells out, “GUS!”
1. Part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. MapQuest needs to start their directions at step 5, because I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection … again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word, and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
21. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.