Words go here

That is the honest and the forever truth.  Not that there will never be anyone else in my life, but Mary will be always in my life.

Right at the top of my list of things to do.

You know that LITTLE VOICE inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn’t?
YEAH, I DON’T HAVE THAT.

If you don’t use CONCRETE, it’s your own ASPHALT.

England, Birmingham Law:
It is illegal for a man and woman to have sex “on the steps of any church after the sun goes down.”

That’s one heck of a monument

 

A guy came home to his wife and said, “Guess what?  I’ve found a great job.  A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!”

“That’s great,” his wife said.

“Yeah, I thought so too,” he agreed.  “You start Monday.”

9 out of 10 times when I lose something it’s because I put it in a safe place.

Why does the radio stop to tell you they play nonstop music?

“Look into my crystal ball…no, over here, pal!”

AIN’T     NO     WAY!!!

Easter Egg Hunts:  Proof your kid can find things if they want to.

Hyphenated

Non-Hyphenated

The Irony…

When your tired at night, everything’s funny.  When your tired in the morning, nothing’s funny.

And that’s probably only funny to those of us of a certain age.

It takes a special person to wake up early and still be late, but that’s me. ~ Stephanie

I have one cup of coffee each morning just to start the day off right.

The others are to keep me out of jail, help me form sentences, and fuel my razor sharp wit.

Add one word, ruin a band name:

Iron Deficiency Maiden

As I watch this generation try to rewrite history, one thing I’m sure of…it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

So, let’s be clear…The only acceptable reason for you to touch my cup of coffee is to refill it.  Don’t try to be a hero.

How to politely tell someone they’re stupid:

“Wisdom has been chasing you, but you’ve always been faster.”