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So, today is July 4th. I took a lady friend to see the new Washington movie. It was VERY good. Highly recommended. It is now 1800 and I’m in for the night. So far I haven’t heard of anything stupid going on anywhere, so maybe we’re going to get through this. We’ll see.

After getting home from the movie I took my friend home and mowed the lawn. The sky is beginning to cloud over and looking like a storm. It should clear over by 9 or so. We’ll see. I’m worn out. So, let’s go ahead and

Now, I don’t particularly like this guy, but here it is…

Remember back to how immature you were at 20, 21 and even 25 and 29? Two and three years out of high school, maybe a couple years into collage, still doing stupid shit and sowing wild oats. Here at that age, these people were planning and carrying out a rebellion, a revolution, a war against the greatest, most powerful empire of the world. They were planning, writing and creating a new country, a new government a new way of life for the people who would follow them into that dream. Incredible men, incredible minds, incredible actions, incredible sacrifices. And they didn’t do for themselves, for their own freedom because, they knew that they would probably not live through it. They did it for us, you and me, and the people who would come behind them to live in the freedoms that they dreamed of.  We owe them so much more than a few colorful explosions can pay!

I tried to give my wife bridge lessons last week, but she just wouldn’t jump!

Well, it’s now the 5th of July and other than stupid stupidity, I can’t see where anything major happened across these United States. I mean, I’m sure the requisite number of fingers have been blown off and drunks put in jail but there was also the Brooklyn Bridge set on fire due to fireworks and hundreds of masked nationalists marching on Washington, but that’s normal stupidity. So…hurrah for us! My spidey sense must be off…and that’s a good thing.

Maryland Laws

Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2  for each offense. 

Morris was having a good time in Tel Aviv and was invited to a party. Unfortunately, during the evening, he lost his wallet. 

So Morris, not being of the shy kind, stood on a chair and shouted, “Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just lost my wallet with over $1,500 in cash in it. To the person that finds my wallet, I will give $150.” 

A voice from the back of the hall shouted, “I will give $175!”

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. 

She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown. 

Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. 

Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. 

Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. 

Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. 

But the clown has not shown up, and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic, and will probably not make the party at all. 

The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. 

She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn. 

She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. 

She speaks to the other bum and says, “What your friend is doing is absolutely marvellous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!” 

The bum replies, “Well, I dunno. Let me ask him. HEY WILLIE! FOR $50, WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?” 

There was this Asian lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in the Isle of Man. 

The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed to communicate with her husband. 

The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. 

She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs.

The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. 
Again, she didn’t know how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast. 

The lady got what she wanted.

The 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. 

Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…

(Please scroll page down.)

What were you thinking?

Helloooooooooo, her husband speaks English!!

It was a quiet Tuesday evening, or at least it was until my wife slammed her book shut on the couch, looked across the living room at me, and sighed heavily.

“We need to talk,” she said, her voice dripping with exhaustion. “I’m staging an intervention. You have got to stop being so incredibly pedantic all the time. It is completely exhausting for me, it’s exhausting for our families, and frankly, it’s ruining your social life. If you don’t learn to just let things go and stop constantly correcting people, you are going to end up with less and less friends.”

I sat there in silence for a moment, letting the weight of her words hang in the air. I looked at her tired expression, genuinely processing the gravity of what she was saying about our marriage and my relationships. I took a deep, contemplative breath, leaned forward, and looked her straight in the eye.

“Don’t you mean fewer and fewer?”

Or this might be more appropriate …

This is a Lutheran Church group at a Gay Pride Parade. I don’t care which Lutheran Church, because holding a sign like that makes them not a true church. Why do I say that? Because God does ask us to change. In fact, He TELLS us to change. Several times.

How many times is the word “repent” used in the Bible? In the Old Testament? In the New? I have no idea, but a lot! What does the word repent mean? Literally? “A complete change of mind and heart that results in a new direction.”

God would never ask us to change? No, God is commanding us to change! He is begging us to change. Because if we don’t change, we are marching straight on that wide path that leads us straight to hell. And no, before we go down that path, God doesn’t send anyone to hell. We are all destined for hell because we are all sinners. God is inviting us, begging us, to join Him in Heaven. He even sent His only Son to die for us to make it possible. And all you have to do is believe and repent. Satan is the one who says we don’t have to change. Satan is the one who tells us that God would never want us to change. So who is it that is whispering in these Lutheran’s ears? It is certainly not the Holy Spirit! These are NOT Christians. Jesus told me

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the while world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”

What did these Lutherans give in return for their souls? That’s between them and God I suppose. I hope and pray they repent (change their mind and heart) soon, before it’s too late.

How many times did Jesus tell us that unless we repent (change), we will perish? (End up in hell) Luke 13:3 comes immediately to mind. A LOT! Open up your Bible apps and do a search.

Now, here’s the part that bothers me. (You mean you haven’t been bothered up to now?) The part that really bothers me is that these people are representing themselves as Christians and you get someone who is searching for the Truth and sees them, carrying their ignorant signs and they get the completely wrong idea about things and Satan leads another one astray. It is up to the rest of us to preach the Word loud and clear that this is WRONG! This is NOT Christian. In fact, it is the opposite. It is Satanic influence drawing away from God’s Grace. It is up to us to follow Jesus’ admonition to his disciples in Matthew 28:16-20 (also known as the Great Commission) when He told them to take His teaching to the whole world.

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

That applies to us, too! I am a disciple of Christ. That’s my job. It’s your job also, if you are a disciple of Christ. So, it’s up to us to stop these wolves in sheep clothing that are out there among us. We need to be the sheep dogs.

Woof! Let’s go!

So, this turned out to be a short essay rather than a rant. I’m going to leave it in here because it’s … well … it’s a sample of my writing if nothing else for you guys. I’m going to copy it out of here and maybe do something with it. We’ll see. It’s too short to really do anything significant with, but too long for a simple rant. But, I hope you enjoyed it.

Until next time.