Dragon Laffs #2083

Thursday afternoon and I’ve managed to get ahold of both my brother the Owl in Orlando and Papa Dragon Most Senior near Naples and both are well and accounted for.  So, prayers answered.  I hope and pray for each and every one of you out there that you had as good a result with Ian as I did.

Took Pepper Dragon to the Vet this morning and she got a bunch of shots, some general type medicine that she gets every year, a pill to help her with seasonal allergies, and a clean bill of health.

I’m a teenie bit ticked off at myself.  Yesterday was Wednesday and Wednesday night is Bible study at the church and I completely spaced it.  I was a bit tied up and concerned with my health last night (I haven’t been feeling exactly “right” lately) and did some home diagnosis’s (all with negative results, by the by), anyway, long story short, by the time I realized it, I was picking Izzy Dragon up from work at 2230 and realized that I had missed it!  Something I look forward to all week!

You don’t suppose I’m …


Getting old…

Am I? 

I do have an awful lot of stuff to talk to the doctor about when I see her in … like a week.  Ah, screw it.  I’ll work it out when I see her.  

Anyway, enough about me, let’s talk about you for a minute. No?  Well, enough about you, then, let’s talk about life for a while.  We could talk about the conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses falling…

Gosh, that sounds so familiar…All I really want…is to figure out where I’ve heard that before.  While I figure that out, …

I need that kind of coffee that’s so strong when I take a sip, my ancestors wake up.

You’ve GOT to be kidding me!

I’m told to treat others as I want to be treated.

Now I’m facing sexual harassment charges.


Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow…

“Ooh!” said the presenter, “This is a very rare breed.  Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?”

“Sticks.” replied Paddy.

“Hey…Warrior…wanna buy a map?”

“Crocodiles are easy.  They try to kill and eat you.  People are harder.  Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.”  ~ Steve Irwin

Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.

I can never go swimming because it’s always less than 30 minutes since I’ve last eaten.

The new Olympic event…Waterfall diving.

To anyone who has been through hell here on earth.  Who has been living in survival mode for years.  Who has faced challenges they didn’t think they could climb out of…

Anyone who has been profoundly hurt, broken, abandoned and rejected by people they loved, trusted and cared about…

I just want to say, I’m so proud of you for making it this far.  Proud of you for your strength, progress and courage to keep going.  Very proud of you for choosing to stay alive.

Only trust men who like big butts…

For they cannot lie.

I’ve reached that age where 67% of my electric bill from using a heating pad on some part of my body.

When Pornstars take off their clothes, they are actually getting dressed for work.

Wisdom will kill me someday.

I think “Dildo” is a perfectly acceptable insult.  I’d call you a “Dick” but you’re not real enough.

A man is sitting next to a woman who is trying to breast-feed her baby in a bus.  The baby refuses to suck the breast and the mother warns, “if you don’t suck, I will give it to the man next to me.”  The baby still refuses.  After 20 minutes, the woman repeats the “threat”.  The man clears his throat and says, “Look here woman, you better make up your mind.  I was supposed to get off six bus stops ago!”

According to them, you only have freedom to choose what they say you can choose.

They ARE criminals.

We live in a society where people use a $900 phone to check their food stamp balance.

Also known as the Jersey Rule.

Every saint has a past

Every sinner has a future.

~ Oscar Wilde

Stupid People Are Like Glow Sticks.  I Want To Snap Them And Shake The Crap Out Of Them Until The Light Comes On.

My next door neighbor knocked on my door wearing just a see through negligee and asked to borrow a cup of sugar and then winked at me and asked to come in for a cup of coffee.

I said, “Go away, Dave.”

And the problem is, there are a bunch of you out there, who are saying to yourself right now, “Yeah, so 33 plus 45 equals 78, what the heck does that have to do with anything?  And why is there an old record in the corner?  I don’t get it?”  And THAT is so sad….so very sad.

I suppose you never really do.  I know it would bother me for a really LONG time.  And that is it for this issue.  You may have noticed that I’ve stopped talking about donations.  The donation season is pretty much over, I have been asked by the financial department to mention it one last time, so that’s what I’m doing. 

There, I mentioned it.  And I’m going to show the wall one more time in order to thank everyone.  

You guys are absolutely wonderful.  Thank you all so very much.  And if, for some reason, I’ve missed anyone, it is entirely my fault and I humbly and deeply apologize.  My normal bookkeeper is doing another gig nowadays and I miss her.  But, we get by.  

And with that…until next time, my dear campers, friends, family, and loved ones.  May love and happiness visit you regularly until then.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2083

  1. Stephanie says:

    Great issue

  2. jhjoseph says:

    I am basically a newcomer to this wonderful website. I have been going thru past years of Dragon Laffs. This latest edition, is so far the best as the number of funny photos, one liners, etc. Thanks. Joe H.

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