Dragon Laffs #2042


So, let me start this story by reminding you that my house was built in 1900, which means that it is 122 years old.  Or, at least parts of it are.  Anyway, I had a rough night last night, and I think at least part of it was because of the age of my house.  So, I was laying in bed reading, just falling asleep, (my usual nighttime routine) when I started to hear a scrambling, scratching noise coming from the corner of the bedroom.  Which also happens to be the outside corner of the house.  It actually sounded like some animal was IN the corner of the room, behind the end table.  It is now after midnight.  I’m moving around the bedroom, in my nightshirt, with a cane and a flashlight.  Of course, nothing was in the corner of the room, so my next thought was that something was outside the house, scratching at the wall. 

So, I throw on a pair of shorts, go outside and beat the bushes near where the sound was coming from.  No animal comes running out and I don’t see signs of anything, although I imagine I look quite the sight at 1 am with a flashlight in my nightshirt and shorts and cane. 

Then, thinking that I might have chased it off by coming out the front door and just didn’t see him run off, I went back in my bedroom, sat quietly and listened and within a minute or two, heard the scritchy-scratching of little feet, AGAIN!!! 

The only other place it could be is in the basement.  Now, in order to get to the basement, you have to go through the trapdoor in the pantry floor.  And of course there is stuff ON the floor, like a 30 lb container of dog food.  So, with the bad hip and the heavy trap door, and my sudden anxiety over some huge raccoon or possum IN MY HOUSE, I had to wake up Izzy Dragon to not only help me move the stuff off the trapdoor, but to watch and make sure I could make it down the very steep basement stairs. 

Anyway, long story short, there was nothing in the basement, or up underneath the house.  So, putting everything back and apologizing to Izzy at what is now 2 am, we sat on my bed and listened in the corner and didn’t hear anything.  She is now quite convinced that her poor dad is crazy.  So, I sent her back to bed after thanking her for her help and laid there in bed listening for a noise that never came again.  I suppose it was somewhere near 3 am when I finally fell asleep again. 

Of course, Pepper Dragon and Willow Dragon both decided that Saturday morning was the morning they were NOT going to let me sleep in and thought that 0700 hrs. was the perfect time to start crying to go out.  Needless to say, poor old Impish is dragon ass this morning.  So, let’s get to laughing…

Shouldn’t be a problem.  But, speaking of mowing.  I actually went out today and very slowly and only partially completed, but actually went out and mowed my lawn today!  I have a ride-on mower, of course, or I couldn’t have done it.  I got the front yard mowed mostly because I was worried the city was going to start complaining.  I didn’t weed eat, so it still pretty much looks like crap out there, but the grass is knocked down and the Whelpling and grandkidlets will be over next weekend to help me fight through the jungle that the yard has become, so it’s at least that much done.  I did the close part of the backyard, just not the far backyard.  So, all is well for at least a week.

When I go to someone’s house and they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.

I don’t care how old I get.  If I’m in a store and I see a toy with “Try me” on it, I’m pushing those buttons.

Reminder:  April is Procrastination Awareness Month

Dragon Over Watch, Day 25: This is lonely duty I have planned for myself.  And I’ve come to find out that there isn’t a single pizza delivery service that delivers to this location.

Not a good example.  I am personally related to two unicorns and am proud to call a Leprechaun my brother, even though he has passed on to Heaven now.  He is still watching over us, all.  Love you Lethal.

What has four letters, occasionally has twelve letters, always has six letters, but never has five letters.

Don’t take my advice, because WE’LL end up drunk, in the middle of a cornfield, covered in MUD.

DON’T LET
anyone ever break your soul.  You have to stand on your own two feet and stand up for yourself.  There are those that would give anything to see you fail, but you must never give them the satisfaction.  Hold your head up high, smile and stand your own ground.

The annual Dragon Laffs Rodeo is something to behold.  You guys are all invited.

And I have several of those.

I’m too lazy to be a stalker.
You’ll have to come here.
And bring coffee.

I’m getting real sick of underwear and responsibilities.

What doesn’t kill us makes our drinks stronger.

I hate it when I’m mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.

“Expecting a trouble-free life because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian.” ~ Jeffrey R. Holland

Changed all my passwords to Kenny. 

Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.

Another link thanks to Stephanie.  This is a really cool experiment called: The Pitch Drop Experiment.

It’s not a long read, and down at the bottom is a link to go to the live feed.  Pretty cool in a VERY laidback sort of way: https://smp.uq.edu.au/pitch-drop-experiment#:~:text=We’re%20home%20to%20the,once%20used%20for%20waterproofing%20boats

Lynn writes and sends us some upsetting news.  She says she’s okay, but we still have to be concerned: 

Thanks everyone for your concern. 😓 First off, I’m OK, I was a bit shaken up though.

For those of you that aren’t aware, I was robbed at the Get Go Gas Station on 306 at 9 am today. After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Bainbridge Police Department. They were quick to respond and calmed me down because my blood pressure went through the roof!

My money is gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it and I told them “Yes, it was pump number 3”.

Lynn, we’ll keep you in our prayers.

Very scary thoughts.

I bet the people who voted for Biden are turning over in their graves.

Just told my husband that he was being a “Negative Nancy” and he told me “No, I’m being Reality Rick.”

Lasers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to play with cats.

Computers were once a huge scientific breakthrough; now we use them to look at cats. 

Conclusion:  Science was made for cats.

Sitting in a recliner naked, watching a movie, eating ice cream and Doritos minding my own business, and Walmart feels the need to call the Cops?!?!

Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous!

Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet…

Okay, that is WAY cool!

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much knowledge and wisdom in our heads that there is no more room in there and it distributes it to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously educated, cultured and happy.  Beginning today when I look in the mirror I will think: Good Grief…look how smart I am!

Today I saved $273.47 by not going to Target for Toothpaste.

MARRIAGE TIP #46 

Your wife won’t start an argument with you if you’re cleaning.

I made it back to Church this morning.  That was nice.  Couldn’t make it last week, it was just too early and too much after my surgery.  It was nice to be welcomed back and it was nice to be told I was missed last week.  Joe, you are very correct, there is a feeling of belonging at church.  It’s not a building, it’s a family.  You do not have to go to church to worship God or to talk to God, but it is nice to go someplace with like minded people.  The same reason tomorrow night I will be going to my Grief Group.  To go somewhere with like minded minded people to discuss like minded things.  Anyway…..that’s it for today my dear friends.  I hope you had as much fun reading this episode with issues as I had putting this issue with episodes together.  Much love and happiness to you all.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2042

  1. Leah D says:

    By any chance, do you have a tree close enough to your house that the branches can rub against it? That has caused me a loss of sleep many times, because guests staying here get scared.

  2. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    I cant believe it….2 houses built in 1900 still standing… mine needs work, promise and a prayer…but standing. Built before levels were invented. Did not get electric in it till 1952… still only has wood stove for heat. But I love it…

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