And now it’s Saturday.  Almost two weeks since my surgery.  You know, I can’t wait until the two weeks are up.  Then I can take off these silly compression hose on my legs.  Not that I really mind them, but I think they’ve been making me claustrophobic at night when I lay down to go to sleep.  Now, here me out.  I know how silly it sounds.  I wear a mask for a living, right? 

But, at night, I wear a CPAP, a chin strap to keep my mouth shut, my legs are trapped under the blankets and I can’t move much because of the hip thing, and then the pressure of the compression hose on my legs kind of makes me feel like I’m tied down and the claustrophobia and then the whole panic attack thing starts up.  Okay, so it’s bad enough that thinking about it and trying to describe it in writing has gotten me breathing heavy and nervous right now.  That has never happened to me before.  It has GOT to be a combination of the surgery and my grief still kicking around.  I think it’s weird.  Like really weird.  NEVER, EVER had issues like this before.  Any of you nurse, or physiology students have any insight out there?

On a brighter note, I’m pretty much 100% on a cane now, haven’t used the walker in a few days.  I’ve been driving.  I’m just making sure not to trap myself too far away from relief.  That doesn’t really make sense, let me explain.  Like, walk too far away from home or walk too far away from the car.  An example would be to walk into the Grocery Store where I couldn’t easily walk back out again.  That’s important because I get tired easily, but I’m doing better and better each day, so…good news, right?  Yeah, I thought so, too. 

I’ve been just writing nonsense since I started this one today, so why don’t we get to some of the funny stuff that you guys actually tuned in to see?

This is actually a great cartoon.  Without saying anything, it says so much.

I just blocked someone on my page for correcting my grammar and it feeleded good.

As I’ve said so many times before, witness statements are so unreliable.

Women love when you kiss their neck… 
Just not when they’re driving

And you’re in the backseat.
And they don’t know you.

This one is hilarious!  And yes, I know it looks like it’s a setup.  It looks like she might be  prepositioning the bowl.  But, ignore that, and just watch.  Thanks Stephanie.https://www.facebook.com/632213855/posts/10158546389203856/?sfnsn=mo

And here’s the relief picture for our company’s softball team warming up for our next game.

OMG!  That’s infanticide! 

Here’s another fast one from Stephanie.  It’s pretty amazing, so go ahead…give it a click: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1156193134887179/permalink/1375480412958449/?sfnsn=mo&ref=share

Our IT Team.  These are the two who keep our electronic equipment running smoothly.

 

Dear ghosts,

If you can move shit around and flicker lights then you can use a mop.

I had a quiet game of tennis today. 

It’s like regular tennis, but without the racket.

Well played…

Teacher:  Where is your homework?

Me:  I lost it fighting some kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in school.

Unless of course they scream loud enough or burn shit down that doesn’t belong to them.  Then, for some insane reason, we give in to them, instead of ignoring them, arresting them, or shooting them outright! 

Yeah, I’d say that’s pretty unlucky.

Trail mix? 

You mean chocolate candies with obstacles.

Gas is so high the mailman is working from home.  He called me yesterday to read my bills to me.

And somehow, in his mind, this makes perfect sense!  Why is he still in office?  Why are any of them that support him still in office?

Proud of yourself?

And we shouldn’t be surprised by this by now.

Instead of focusing on a man who has left the Whitehouse, focus on the one who is in it!  He’s the one wrecking America!!

I tried to explain to Izzy Dragon how much this was a Republican point of view, which led us to a discussion on how housing and food and medical care and stuff like that should all be free.  It led to some very interesting conversations.

I’ve been in bed for 20 minutes, and I just remembered I only came upstairs for a pen.

I finally found a diet plan that really works.  It’s called, “The Price of Food.”

Her:  Would you like to be the sun in my life?

Me:  AWWWWW YES!!

Her:  Then stay 92,900,000 miles away from me.

And as we tamp down the fire, and roll up the logs, I want to thank Alan F, reijo, jhjoseph, and kris72663 for the kind words about the ezine and me getting better.  But, I have to share Leah D’s comment here: