So, it’s Thursday morning and I’m off work. No, not a holiday and I’m not sick. Just had a rough night last night emotionally, and because of that, spent a pretty much sleepless night last night and the way I’m feeling, I am in no shape to go to work today. Emotionally, I just couldn’t handle it.
So…that’s me this morning. I’ve already gotten 3 work calls. But, that’s okay. I know my guys need me. It’s nice to be needed. I can’t wait till my surgery when my son will have my cell phone for the several hours that I will be in surgery and I told him to answer my phone. He is enough like me that his voice WILL be confused with mine. Everyone will be sure they will be talking to me. And he is going to hate it. LOL! I can hardly wait.
Anyway, Let’s get into the laughter and maybe we’ll find time to get into some other things later on.
I broke up with my girlfriend Loraine. She found out I was seeing another girl, Claire Lee.
Good News Though!
I can see Claire Lee now, Loraine is gone!
If you don’t get it…you’re too young.
I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet so if I get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.
Mother Nature apologizes for the late arrival of Spring.
Father Time was driving and refused to stop and ask for directions!
And then Summer leaped out in the middle of the road and caused a huge accident!
AND we have the BEST rides!
Ladies, if you come across a man who is smart, humble, well educated, financially secure, passionate, patient, mind blowing in bed, hot, great at fixing things around the house, can cook, loves you like he can never get enough of you, and listens to every word you say…
Then please be assured that the shit you are smoking is of superior quality.
I finally figured out what I want to be when I get older…
My coffee looked at me this morning and told me, “Sorry, I don’t do miracles.”
“Hey! Hey! Hey! Little Goyle! I gots a message for youse from da big guy! He says youse can come home now. Like, right now. Kapeesh? Get you’s skinny hiney up outta dere and getta move on!”
The man is absolutely, 100% right!
“Alright, Pal! I’m tired of you picking on all my smaller friends! How about you try picking on someone your own size for a change? Not too much fun now, IS IT MUTHAFUCKA!”
I finally found a diet plan that really works. It’s called “The Price of Food.”
Ask Alexa, “What is a woman?”. Ketanji Brown Jackson needs to know.
I identify with Dorothy.
I seem to attract men who are cowards, have no heart or are in need of a brain.
I have no idea why Politicians are attracted to me.