Dragon Laffs #1905


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Good Morning Campers,1a

I just finished watching a pretty good movie called Last Knights.  And it got me thinking about the over arching theme behind the movie which, if you haven’t seen it, is about duty, integrity, and honor … even when it’s hard – especially when it’s hard.  It is a stark comparison to what’s going on in our country right now. 

What is integrity?  Well, in the strictest definition, it is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.  But, you could say that it is doing the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason.  A quality that is sorely lacking … everywhere right now. 

Well, maybe not everywhere …

450I was in the hardware store yesterday, buying weed killer, and the young man ahead of me had just checked out.  He was late teens or early twenties.  He was walking away and the older lady who was ringing me up had already started on my stuff, with Izzy Dragon standing beside me when the young man came back up and said, “Hey.  You gave me too much change back.  I think two of these five’s were stuck together.”  He then shoved a five dollar bill toward the lady cashier and turned around and walked away.  We both looked at each other in shock and didn’t say a word.

Now, yeah, rude as hell.  Just interrupted us, no manners…but lots of integrity.  He could very easily just have walked out with the extra change.  And I paraphrased what he did say, so we’d need to work on his grammar a bit, too, but still … integrity.  There’s something there to work with.  If we could just move some of this toward Washington, D.C. … …

C. S. Lewis says that integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching, but maybe integrity is doing the right thing especially when no one is watching.  You people who are in charge – even a little bit – need to pay attention. 

But now, we need to pay attention to laughter, because we know that they aren’t going to pay attention to what one little dragon has to say.  But, if we all say it together … That’s what we’re trying to do here folks.  The power of many of us speaking with one voice.

But for now, let’s all laugh together.

Lets laugh

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Blazing Saddles has just been edited for television.  It will air tonight from 8:00 to 8:07.

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That actually makes sense …

I before E

Except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.

Weird.

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Huge Fight at Seafood Restaurant

Battered Fish Everywhere

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And this shit happens to me ALL.  THE.  TIME.  It’s absolutely amazing to me that I can be reading a book and moving through paragraphs and pages where I can pause anytime and then as soon as I get to an exciting part, everybody and their brother wants my attention! 

Okay, and this next one is from Stephanie, which probably doesn’t surprise any of us because she’s pretty good at finding strange stuff on the internet.  Here’s a guy who designed a roller coaster that is designed to gently and in a fun way … um … help you kill yourself.

https://www.ranker.com/list/euthanasia-coaster-facts/jodi-smith

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Man, this next joke made me laugh SO HARD.  Thanks Steph!

One of our female members, who shall remain nameless, took a vacation to France some years ago with one of her girlfriends.

Her husband drove her to the airport and wished her a good trip.  The wife asked, “Would you like me to bring something back for your?”

The husband laughed and says, “How about a French girl!”

Our lady kept quiet, didn’t respond, and went into the terminal.

Two weeks later her husband picked her up at the airport and asked, “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Really great, I loved Paris.”

“And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?”

“What I asked for … the French girl?”

“Oh, that?  Well, I did what I could, now we’ll have to wait nine months to see if it’s a girl!!!”

Absolutely perfect.

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Dragon Pix

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Hi honey, I’m home …

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If bedbugs are found on beds, who ever came up with the name cockroach?

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I found that growing up in the SIXTIES was a lot more fun than being in my SIXTIES

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I FUCKING KNEW IT!  I knew I should’ve responded to that damn email!  I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it!!!! Damn it!

At the Ballet you always see girls dancing on tiptoes … why don’t they just get taller girls?

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Fantasy

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Speaking of ballet …

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I’m really good at selling home security systems.  If the people aren’t home, I just leave a brochure on their kitchen table.

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Do not eat Aluminum or you’ll Sheet Metal

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I have questions … well … maybe just one …

Breathtaking

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This is what a sunset looks like from above the clouds.

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Weird Fact

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The Empire State building has its own zip code.

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Motivate

Dichotomy

didheseeme

Differences

Dignity Check

Dignity

Dildo tester

dilemma

Dill Dough

Dinner for two

diplomacy

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Diplomacy3

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And our newest daily category…

Know

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Special thanks to Ted for this thoughtful one …

Snow, Traffic Jams, and Electric Cars.

Has anyone thought about it?

If all cars were electric … and were caught up in a three hour traffic jam…  dead batteries! Then what?

Not to mention, that there is virtually no heating in an electric vehicle.

And if you get stuck on the road all night, no battery, no heating !!!

You can try calling 911 to bring women and children to safety!

But they can not even come to help you since all roads are blocked !!!

And when the roads become unblocked no one can move!

How do you charge the thousands of cars from the traffic jam?

Same problem during summer vacation departures with miles of traffic jams.

This will make cars run out of “fuel” and cause never ending traffic jams.

But that, nobody talks about, of course!

Just saying!

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You drop something when you were younger, you just pick it up.

When you’re older and you drop something, you stare at it for a bit, contemplating if you actually will ever need it again.

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Everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.

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“Why are you so nice, even to people who are rude to you?”

“Because I, too, have been rude to nice people, and I know that rudeness comes from a place of a roaring pain and only kindness soothes it.” ~ By The Word

“And because I am a kind person and why should I change myself because of them.” ~ Mrs. Dragon

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The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

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And that’s it for today my friends.  No updates for the donations for the Security Forces Lady.  I’m still hoping we can raise a little bit of money for her.  Just remember, all you have to do is hit the donation button on the top right, just like you do when I ask you to once a year to help me pay the bills for the website.  I’ll just take everything you guys donate and turn it over to the family to help them with expenses.  Every little bit helps.  A buck or two here and there when we add it all up together, would make a hell of a difference.  Supposedly we have 500 plus readers, if everyone gave $2, that’s a thousand dollars.  Now we all know that’s not going to happen, but you see what a little bit from everyone can do.

So … prove me wrong.  Make it happen….

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1905

  1. Chris. says:

    Thanks as always. This struck me as one of your best issues, but of course they are all great!

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