Dragon Laffs #1904


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ketchup

Good Morning Campers,

Well … I’m a little surprised.  I didn’t get a single comment on my last issue … edition.  I know I have a lot of issues.  Not that kind of issue, ezine issue … edition. Sigh.  You know what I mean.  But no one said a word.  At least up to this point.  Maybe it was because it was so long between editions that you guys forgot about me already?  You guys have already moved on?  I’m already an afterthought?

All it took was a week!!!!!!

Holy crap guys!!!!

That means that I have to make this issue … edition … even more special, even more obnoxious, even more IMPISH!

Only …

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do that since I normally do a p-r-e-t-t-y
g-o-o-d job. 

But I’m certainly going to try.

But, come on.  Nothing?  From anyone.

And no one said anything about the Security Forces lady who was hurt, but I do have an update.  I didn’t tell you that she is paralyzed, because I didn’t want to throw everything at you guys at once, but from what I understand, she did move her fingers a little tiny bit.  I don’t know if it was on purpose or not.  I assume it was since everyone was really happy about it and said it was really good news.  I’m getting most of my information like third hand, but we’ll take any good news we can get at this point.

And with that … on to the issue … or … um … edition.

let's laugh

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And that should tell you an awful lot …

INEPTOCRACY – (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) – A system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

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This really belongs in the political section, but it is special enough that I want to highlight it by itself.  Thanks very much to Lynn for sending this to me.

And this DEFINITELY falls under the category of …

Said That

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In early January 2020, Bob Lonsberry, a Rochester talk radio personality on WHAM 1180 AM, said this in response to Biden’s Income inequality speech:

 

Two Americas

 

The Democrats are right, there are two Americas.

 

The America that works, and the America that doesn’t.

 

The America that contributes, and the America that doesn’t.

 

It’s not the haves and the have nots, it’s the dos and the don’ts.

 

Some people do their duty as Americans, obey the law, support themselves, contribute to society, and others don’t. That’s the divide in America.

 

It’s not about income inequality, it’s about civic irresponsibility.

 

It’s about a political party that preaches hatred, greed and victimization in order to win elective office.

 

It’s about a political party that loves power more than it loves its country. That’s not invective, that’s truth, and it’s about time someone said it.

 

The politics of envy was on proud display a couple weeks ago when President Biden pledged the rest of his term to fighting “income inequality.” He noted that some people make more than other people, that some people have higher incomes than others, and he says that’s not just.

 

That is the rationale of thievery. The other guy has it, you want it, Biden will take it for you. Vote Democrat.

 

That is the philosophy that produced Detroit. It is the electoral philosophy that is destroying America .

 

It conceals a fundamental deviation from American values and common sense because it ends up not benefiting the people who support it, but a betrayal.

 

The Democrats have not empowered their followers; they have enslaved them in a culture of dependence and entitlement, of victim-hood and anger instead of ability and hope.

 

The president’s premise – that you reduce income inequality by debasing the successful – seeks to deny the successful the consequences of their choices, and spare the unsuccessful the consequences of their choices. Because, by and large, income variations in society are a result of different choices leading to different consequences. Those who choose wisely and responsibly have a far greater likelihood of success, while those who choose foolishly and irresponsibly have a far greater likelihood of failure. Success and failure usually manifest themselves in personal and family income.

 

You choose to drop out of high school or to skip college – and you are apt to have a different outcome than someone who gets a diploma and pushes on with purposeful education and/or employment.

 

You have your children out of wedlock and life is apt to take one course; you have them within a marriage and life is apt to take another course.

 

Most often in life our destination is determined by the course we take.

 

My doctor, for example, makes far more than I do. There is significant income inequality between us. Our lives have had an inequality of outcome, but, our lives also have had an inequality of effort. While my doctor went to college and then devoted his young adulthood to medical school and residency, I chose another avenue.

 

He made a choice, I made a choice, and our choices led us to different outcomes. His outcome pays a lot better than mine. Does that mean he cheated and Joe Biden needs to take away his wealth? No, it means we are both free men in a free society where free choices lead to different outcomes.

 

It is not inequality Joe Biden intends to take away, it is freedom. The freedom to succeed and the freedom to fail. There is no true option for success if there is no true option for failure. The pursuit of happiness means a whole lot less when you face the punitive hand of government if your pursuit brings you more happiness than the other guy. Even if the other guy sat on his arse and did nothing. Even if the other guy made a lifetime’s worth of asinine and shortsighted decisions.

 

President Biden and the Democrats preach equality of outcome as a right, while completely ignoring inequality of effort. The simple Law of the Harvest – as ye sow, so shall ye reap – is sometimes applied as, “The harder you work, the more you get.” Biden would turn that upside down. Those who achieve are to be punished as enemies of society and those who fail are to be rewarded as wards of society.

 

Entitlement will replace effort as the key to upward mobility in American society if President Biden Barack gets his way. He seeks a lowest common denominator society in which the government besieges the successful and productive to foster equality through mediocrity. He and his party speak of two Americas, and their grip on power is based on using the votes of one to sap the productivity of the other. America is not divided by the differences in our outcomes, it is divided by the differences in our efforts. It is a false philosophy to say one man’s success comes about unavoidably as the result of another man’s victimization.

 

What Biden offered was not a solution, but a separatism. He fomented division and strife, pitted one set of Americans against another for his own political benefit. That’s what socialists offer. Marxist class warfare wrapped up with a bow.

 

Two Americas, coming closer each day to proving the truth to Lincoln’s maxim that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Haven’t we been saying the same thing for months?  Why can’t these restaurants and fast food places get any employees?  Why are states having to shut off the unemployment benefits that the federal government is forcing on us?  Because people are making more money sitting on their asses at home then if they actually had to go out and work for a living.  Incentive money for anyone making $75,000 a year or less?  Jeez, if you are a single person and you can’t afford to support yourself on $75k a year … WTF!!!  This guy is dead on the money!  And it was written a year and a half ago!  And see how it has all come true!

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Dragon

AngryBlueDragon

“Why, yes!  I’d LOVE to buy some Girl Scout Cookies!!!!!”

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Unlimited energy, or perpetual stupidity … you be the judge.

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“Hello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die.”

Okay….update …

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First donation has come in … and the winner is…

Steven H.  And yes, I’m sure it will help that family.  Bless you brother!

For the rest of you guys, don’t be shy.  Anything will help.  A buck or two, when we all add it together will really make a difference.  Let’s see what we can do by July.  Let me look it up…. Since the 4th is on a Sunday, they pushed the July UTA back to the weekend of the 10th.  So, that means that all donations have to be collected and cashed and everything by then.  So, with time for me to convert to cash and get it to them and all that stuff, let’s say that Dragon Laffs will run this thing until … well, let’s run it till Independence Day.  And let’s see if what we can do to make this family a little more financially independent, even a tiny bit more independent for the future.

For those of you who are just tuning in, this young Security Forces (think military cop) was at home with her family on Memorial Day and had a freak accident, got injured, and now may be paralyzed.  She has little kids at home and is looking at, at least, long term care, child care, and … well, you can imagine.  The base has reached out, and I’m reaching out to you, my family.  The latest we heard was that she moved her fingers a tiny bit.  Don’t know if it was voluntary or involuntary muscle movement, but … prayers and high hopes.  Keep this young lady in your prayers, campers.

Okay, onward…

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Dammit cousin Billy, I warned you!!!

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Fantasy

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Whoever she is … she’s a keeper!!!

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In Utah the term “Speed Limit” translates to: “If we all go 80 mph, the can’t pull us all over” and I think that’s beautiful.

I’m not sure if that’s true or not … I haven’t driven in Utah in about 44 years, but if my recollection is still correct, yeah, that’s about right.

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A man went to the Great Lakes Military Cemetery.  He took some pictures while reflecting on what’s going on in our country today.  Then he wrote this simple poem:

I don’t see any color here,
The headstones look the same.
No black, no brown, now white skin tone,
There’s no one here to blame.

These soldiers fought and died for you.
Their color you can’t see.
Your rights are still protected,
Here’s the place to take a knee.

Whoever you are sir, I salute you.

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The trick to being smart, is knowing when to play dumb.

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It is as good an explanation as I’ve ever heard.

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Bozo criminal for today comes from Honolulu, Hawaii where bozo Robert Graham walked away from a work furlough program to marry his girlfriend. At the time our bozo was only 5 months shy of finishing an 8 year sentence. Our bozo never got to go on his honeymoon, however. The office manager at the marriage license bureau got suspicious and called the cops when our bozo tried to use his prison ID to apply for his marriage license.

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Holy crap!  I just found his brother …

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Motivate

depression for dummies

Depression

depression2

designated driver

despair

Desperation

Desperation2

Determination

Determination2

Devil Cat

Diamonds

diarrhea

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Holy CRAP!  I’m rich!  I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich!  Check out this email I just got:

Dear Friend,  See, he calls me his friend!

I Am Mr. Tom Hassan. From West Africa i have a business deal to share with you in the sum of10.2M USD dollars that is been held in our here in

(B.O.A) bank of Africa the fund mentioned rightful belong to one of our late client who deposited the money in our bank here ever since he Died nobody have been able to apply to claim the fund so i wish that you will come and Assume as his foreign business partner also note this business is risk Free not to be sacred or doubt is real please my dearest one also noted.  He speaks such fluid English and it’s 10.2 million dollars!!!!

This once we succeed in transferring this fund to your wish provided Account in your country it will share among us in agreement of 60% 40 I believe that after this Deal joy and happiness will be on or face’s and family’s please reply to me with your details so we can move on with this great plan ok.  OK!  But … do I get the 60% or the 40 … so is that 6.12 million or 4.08 million…

Your Full Name…….  Impish Dragon

Your Age&Sex……..  Not really sure … um … let’s say 225 (our years are so different from yours) and as often as possible

Your Marital Status……  Very married

Your Country Name…….  The United States of America…um … well … that’s the human side … the mythological side is kind of unpronounceable … so let’s go with that.

Your Phone Number……  Unreachable by phone

Your Occupation…..  Dragon

Your Bank Name……  Impish’s Horde of Gold (it’s a very small branch)

Your Account Number……  1

Thanks Yours Brotherly  He ain’t heavy … he’s my brotherly …

Mr. Tom Hassan.

You know, the thing that bothers me the most about this … is that they wouldn’t be sending this stupid shit out it it wasn’t working with someone.  People please!  No one in South Africa, or anywhere else in the world is going to give you a plug nickel … much less a million dollars.  You know, I say that as I ask you guys to give me money for someone you’ve never met and to send me donations every year, so it that hypocritical of me?  Maybe there is really is some rich African Prince somewhere who’s been trying for years and years to get rid of this 10 million dollars and can’t believe that no matter how hard he tries, he just can’t get anyone to take it off his hands …

But I friggin’ doubt it.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the Seattle skyline looks like.

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Weird Fact

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Oregon’s Crater Lake is deep enough to cover six Statues of Liberty stacked on top of each other

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I want to thank my parents for not letting me pick my gender while I was still eating Crayons, Glue, Boogers, and Dog Food.

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Take a really good look at the statue and see what parts are polished clean …

Politicians

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AMEN!!!  Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen!  Do NOT blame the Police because YOU are a shitty parent!

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We have said it SO MANY times … why are the vocal minority getting so much attention?  Could it be because they all vote democrat?

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So true it makes me want to cry.

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No kidding!  You never ONCE asked me if I wanted to incur your fucking debt!!!

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A chicken walks into a library and goes up to the desk.

“Buk,” says the chicken.  So the librarian gives him a book.  The chicken leaves with the book and returns five minutes later.

“Buk,” he says.  So the librarian gives him another book. 

This goes on about eight more times, until finally the librarian leaves the library and goes outside on break in back where there’s a pond.  The chicken is standing on the edge of the pond tossing the books to a frog on a lily pad.  The chicken says “Buk, Buk” and the frog says, “reddit, reddit”.

I’ll show myself out.

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It was a sad and disappointing day when I discovered that my Universal Remote Control did NOT, in fact, control the Universe.

Not even remotely.

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Damn … I’m pretty sure I know her … if not, I’m 100% I know the type.

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I was wondering why music was coming from my printer?

Apparently the paper was jamming.

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If you don’t do a lot of stupid things when you’re young, you won’t have funny things to talk about when you’re old.

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Subtle, that one is.

If I was Snow White you’d never be able to kill me with an apple … You’d have to poison an éclair or something.

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And with that little bit of stoner humor, we’ll end today’s issue … edition (okay, don’t start that shit again) here.  No more updates today, just the one.  Thanks so much for all that you do for and with me.  Thanks for all the kind thoughts this week while I’ve been missing in action.  No, Mrs. Dragon is fine, I’m fine, just an exercise out at the base and lots and lots of extended 12 and 14 hour shifts. 

But for now, all is well with the world, so until we meet again, dear campers.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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8 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1904

  1. Stephanie says:

    Prayers for the security worker and her family. Intentional movement of fingers is good news, would be better if her toes move, but accept the grace God gives.
    Will do what i can.

  2. dowchuckil says:

    sometimes the only way i could keep going was to put my head down and just keep putting one foot in front of the other. hang in there dragon dude !

  3. Leah D says:

    Lately, there has been so much calamity in the lives of those I love. I’m sure that is why I worried so about Mrs. Dragon’s health, and yours too, because of the brutal schedule you adhere to. I am always amazed when you pull off another great issue. I just hope you don’t feel like it is one more thing you have to do before you can gets some rest.

  4. Pat says:

    Love, love love this issue Mr. Dragon. Soooo looking forward to the next one.

  5. Cynical John says:

    Lonsberry nailed it; thanks for passing that along.

  6. Dale says:

    Love today’s issue….both the humor and the political too!!

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