Dragon Laffs #1776


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Good Morning,

Today is our 25th Wedding Anniversary.  I’ve been married to my best friend for one-quarter of a century.  Isn’t that the coolest thing ever!  I love you my Mary~Mae and I want everyone to know it.

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Remember the panic when you couldn’t find toilet paper?

Wait until you can’t find a Police Officer …

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I said to myself, “Self.” (and I knew it was me, cause I recognized my voice, and I was wearing my underwear) “Today is going to be a good day!”

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Paranoia has reached absurd stages …

I sneezed in front of my laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own.

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If we all start wearing masks that say, “Trump 2020,” how long before experts say we no longer need to wear them?

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The deadliest virus in the United States is the Media.

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Are we the only country dumb enough to start another Civil War because we are offended by the first one?

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Our country will be a better place, when everyone realizes there are only two kinds of people in it.  Good people and bad people.

Ethnicity doesn’t matter.

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I don’t want to adult today.  I don’t even want to human today.  Today, I want to Goat.  Gonna eat all day and head-butt anyone who tries to stop me.

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Funny how the same people who say that George Floyd’s past shouldn’t be held against him, are the very same ones holding this country’s past against people who weren’t even there.

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It’s called the NATIONAL Anthem, not the RACE anthem.  It has nothing to do with color.  It’s about being an AMERICAN.

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Just because you toppled a statue doesn’t mean you changed history.  It just shows how ignorant you are.

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In 1996, when Bill Clinton visited Mt. Rushmore during his re-election campaign, ABC news called it a place where American ingenuity and American creativity came together and formed an amazing American accomplishment..

In 2008, when Barack Obama campaigned there, CNN called Mt Rushmore a majestic site and every president should visit..

In 2016, Bernie Sanders campaigned there and said he was humbled to be in the presence of 4 of the greatest American presidents.. CNN described the scene as awe-inspiring…

2020…Trump visits…CNN called it a celebration of white supremacy and Trump will stand before two former slave owners on land wrestled away from Native Americans…

If you think the media isn’t agenda-driven, you have your head in the sand…”

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motivational wooden sign

Fundraisers

Igrave

Laziness

Ouch

Photoshop Wars

Photoshop2

Photoshop3

Pick a winner

Pigeons

pigtails

Pimped Hummer

Pimpin

Pink Puppy

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3b

Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously.  I’m just an idiot with internet access.

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Got an email from Donnie G…

One of the first things I learned in Boy Scouts’ First Aid training was “All Bleeding Stops Eventually.”
I just did a slug of coffee while praying that your stress level drops back down to “OMG What Next?”.  P’rhaps I’ll have a shot of Maple Whiskey later, too.

Well Donnie, it has been almost 72 hours without something new popping up.  And for the last two weeks, that’s a record, so maybe I’m past the crappy stuff for now.  I’ve taken this week off work.  Our 25th wedding anniversary has gone from going to Ireland (that one got dashed with COVID-19 and we really couldn’t afford it this year), going to go somewhere special for a week, all the way down to buying an oven and a fridge. 

Sigh.

Mrs. Dragon told me yesterday … Live, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Laugh, Love.  And she has the right recipe.  If you can’t keep laughing at what’s going on, then it gets really old and really hard really quick.

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That moment when you have something really important to say, but you’re waiting for the person who is talking to stop talking, but when they do, you forget what you were going to say.

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A Man Can Get Bored In Alaska This Time Of the Year

With the Covid-19 outbreak holding bozo activity down a bit, Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow comes to the rescue with the story of a bozo that had apparently had enough of social distancing. Our bozo took a two by four and broke a window at the King Salmon, Alaska, fire department. Now, King Salmon is a small town and there was no one at the station at the time, so our bozo rummaged around until he found the keys to the fire truck. He didn’t even bother to open the station’s closed bay doors before he drove through. He then switched on the trucks emergency lights and headed west toward Naknek, about 15 miles away. And what was his destination? The Fisherman’s Bar. He was arrested shortly after arrival. He’s under arrest on charges of burglary, vehicle theft, criminal mischief and violating conditions of release on a previous arrest.

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You wanna see some social distancing?!

Lend them some money.

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That’s going to have to do for today my dear friends.  I hope you all have a wonderful day.  Love and laughter to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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9 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1776

  1. Lona says:

    Happy Anniversary …25 more HAPPY YEARS

  2. boopluver says:

    Happy anniversary

  3. Stephanie says:

    So sad that you were not able to make it to Ireland. That is our dream trip. Planning, loosely, on a family trip in about 3 years. We have to go to castle Caldwell in northern Ireland. It’s about 3 km from Belek where the clay for fine porcelain comes from. I’d love to go back a few years and visit in days gone by. Tis a marvelous dream.
    Happy Anniversary. Don’t overheat the cave tonight.

  4. Larry S says:

    Happy Anniversary.! Keep it up. Your almost half way to our 52nd.

  5. Sasquatch says:

    Congratulations on finding such an understanding woman. 😄 25 years? Wow. Anywho, I was looking around the woods for an appropriate gift when it struck me that it’s almost donation time of year. 25th anniversary is supposed to be silver but stainless steel will have to do. If you put the information out, I’d like to contribute to another year/ new appliances.

  6. Leah D. says:

    I wanted to send you a gift of silver to celebrate a quarter year of marriage . . .
    Silver is the material linked with the 25th year of marriage because it is a precious, durable metal, representing the precious and long lasting nature of the couple’s relationship. It is also beautiful, just like an enduring relationship. Silver is also said to represent harmony – something that a couple which have been married for so long but have cultivated!
    But quarters aren’t made of silver anymore.

    I thought of flowers . . .
    25th Anniversary: Iris
    Believed to embody the spirit, love, and aura of Paris, the iris wonderfully honors your quarter of a century together. Standing tall and vibrant, the iris represents the strength and futility of your relationship.
    But my Iris have already gone through the bloom stage.

    So guess I ‘ll just have to wish:
    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY YOU TWO!

  7. Joe says:

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

  8. Maggie says:

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to Impish and Mrs Dragon
    I hope you both have a MARVELOUS DAY!!!!!
    Maggie

  9. Dale says:

    Happy 25th Anniversary!!!

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