Dragon Laffs #1724–Day 41



Good Morning Campers,

It’s Tuesday…and Tuesday means meetings.  Meetings on 0aabase.  But, since I’m a time traveler and today is actually Monday, it won’t really affect you until Wednesday when you get the time bounce the day0aa after…wow…all this time shifting is giving me a headache. 

And speaking of Wednesday, you may or may not get a Dragon Laffs issue 0aaon Wednesday because I may be at work all day on Tuesday…which is today for you and tomorrow for me…and, oh my aching head.  Geez, I 0aahaven’t had enough coffee for this to be going on yet.  At any rate, that’s the scoop … or the cup … or whatever the heck it is this early in the morning. 

It’s Monday for me and I had a good weekend.  We didn’t end up doing much mowing dragonthis weekend.  Barbequed out a couple of times.  Grilled some brats and some burgers, mowed the lawn, defrosted the freezer, sat out on the back deck with a big glass of0 Jameson, a cigar and a good book, that was a nice evening.  The weather cooperated beautifully.  It even was polite enough to wait until after midnight to rain and then quit by sunrise.  Didn’t get too hot, but it was warm enough to enjoy the out doors.  ALMOST decided to turn on the air conditioner, but decided to open the windows in the house and turn on the fans and that was just about perfect.

sign laffAnyway, enough about me and my nice weekend.  Why don’t we get to why you guys are really here, shall we?


So, camping may or may not be a big thing with you guys, especially right now, but here’s some funny tips sent in by Stephanie…

Warm weather brings out the urge to go camping. Here are a few tips to make your trip successful. Author is unknown. .”CAMPING TIPS”

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.  I would think that a trombone or a set of drums work equally as well.

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.  Yuck.

Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking them over an open fire.  Double Yuck.

When smoking a fish, never inhale.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.

Steer clear of parks named for landfills.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded. Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that “breathe” enable campers to stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.  And with today’s COVID environment, is likely to get you looked at funny by your fellow campers.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.  Good advice.  Having a dragon with you when camping also makes a good fire starter.

You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese. 

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.  Also works for your backpack


Do you remember the movie?

I found this next VERY interesting…

Linda Gibson

April 24 at 5:17 PM ·

So as a Respiratory Therapist….I watched the clip about the “disinfectant that Trump talking about”. People need to listen closely….and before I say this, I will tell you that I am not registered to vote and I don’t vote. I am neutral.


He is basically brain storming for an idea to help the lungs. He stated that the disinfectant kills the virus in one minute, so he proposed the question can we inject disinfectant (not Lysol), he used the word “disinfectant” …in the lungs, but that is for the doctors to figure out.


Now a lay person like Trump will say disinfectant and a medical person would say “medicine”. Medicine dumped into the lungs happens all the time!


I personally have dumped respiratory medicine down an Endotracheal tube directly into the lungs. When babies are born prematurely, guess what? Yes we “inject” the lungs with a medicine called surfactant that helps keep the alveoli open to oxygenate the lungs.


Antibiotics are sometimes injected into infected parts of lungs through a chest tube.


So what I want the general public to know, is that we do “inject” medicine into peoples lungs, that yes, act like a disinfectant (antibiotics), so why is everyone in uproar over this?


If you are a lay person and don’t understand what he said then ask a medical person. His statement was so twisted around and misinterpreted, and this is coming from a Respiratory Therapist that has injected medicine in peoples lungs.


Lysol brand has perpetrated misinformation and panicked the general public who doesn’t know anything about lungs. And Trump never used the word “Lysol”. So why did Lysol brand think he was talking about them, that’s narcissistic on their part. Why would Lysol brand embrace that? they look ignorant.


So people, yes we do inject medicine into the lungs! This is why people need to know the facts and stop panicking people.


Thank you Linda Gibson, whoever you are.  She didn’t send this to me herself, it was forwarded to me by a fellow camper, Lynn.  So, thanks Lynn for sharing this with us.  What Linda is saying makes a lot of sense and is a good admonition for all of us (are you listening MSM?) to stop trying to find problems … or create problems…where there aren’t any.




Me in Heaven

God: You’re about to get your wings.

Me: Garlic, Parmesan, or Honey BBQ?

God: Get out.


I want to put a little bit (just a little bit) of special emphasis of this next one and not just because this is what I do for a living, teaching these guys how to wear this gear and wearing it myself, but to put things in a tiny bit of perspective…


And the masks that those guys are wearing aren’t even the new masks.  Those aren’t even the next oldest.  Those are the masks that I wore back twenty years ago when I was active duty.  They aren’t near as comfortable as the ones that we have now!  Here’s what the new gear looks like:

The mask is more comfortable (by a thousand percent!!!) the suit is lighter, doesn’t have the rubber hood and … well … lots of other things.  And you complain because you have to wear a mask when you go to the grocery store?  So, on a really bad day, what?  Two hours?  My personal record for staying inairman_gasmask[1] MOPP 4 without coming out to eat, go to the restroom, smoke, … you CAN drink out of the canteen… is 13 hours and 15 minutes.  My guys a couple of months ago, went out and played Frisbee dressed liked that, and then went and did a couple of exercises BEFORE climbing out of their gear.  We do it because our lives may depend on it.  We want to be very, very comfortable in this gear.  So, tell me again how hard it is to breath in that cloth mask.  Oh… and for the record, when I set my own personal best, I was not a young man, fresh out of basic training or anything like that.  I was a civilian CBRN Instructor and I was 55 years old.

Okay, I’m done.


I think he’s lucky he got the front half.

Louisiana now has a new parish.  It’s called Bayou Self.


The Bozo Criminal for today comes from Kennesaw, Georgia where Bozo Robert Carter stole the cellular phone out of Jennifer Brown’s car. When Jennifer went to a pay phone to call her husband Bob to tell him of the theft, her husband told her that he was talking to the Bozo phone thief at that very moment on the other line. It seems the Bozo had just started hitting buttons on the phone and hit one of the speed dial buttons for Jennifer’s home. The Bozo told Bob he was holding the phone hostage and if he ever wanted to see his phone again, he should bring $80 dollars to a nearby park. Bob went to the park with the money and with the police. They found the Bozo right where he said he would be, sitting on a park bench and playing with the phone.


Okay, so last Thursday, when I was busy on base, it’s because we had a Vice Presidential visit, well, we didn’t have the visit.  We were just the airport.  Vice President Pence went to Kokomo, Indiana to visit the GM plant where they converted their factory over to making ventilators.  He just landed here.  Anyway, I finally got a hold of some pictures I am allowed to share with you guys.  I took them off  of our bases homepage, so I know they are okay to share.  You want to see them?  Well, if you don’t want to see them, then just skip the next five pictures, how’s that?


So, that’s him climbing off of Air Force 2 when he first arrived.


And that’s him being greeted by our Wing Commander, Col Larry Shaw with our Command Chief in the background


Being greeted by Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb.


Air Force 2 as it taxis up to it’s parking spot (yeah, these pictures really aren’t in any kind of order, are they?)


And finally, the VERY limited press corps that was allowed on base for pictures only.  No questions were allowed.  These guys were vetted six ways from Sunday and they had to stay six feet apart which is why there were only so few of them allowed.

And that’s it.  That’s why I was gone for so long on Thursday and why you didn’t get an issue on Friday.  Needless to say, his 3 hour visit actually took him about 5 hours and I was on standby for about 12 hours.  LOL!  But, it was all in good fun.  All the different alphabet guys on base that we had to deal with were lots of fun to play with.  And now, back to the show.


Okay, now there are a couple of cops with a GREAT sense of humor.  Oh, Julia, your still going to jail, but a GREAT sense of humor.

Did you know: German Chocolate Cake Is Not German.  It takes its name from a brand of chocolate developed by American Sam German, which was used in the cake recipe created by Mrs. George Clay of Texas.


Hey!  It’s a Bozo twofer today!  Thanks to John S. for sending us these Bozo reports on occasion.

The Bozo Criminal for today comes from Cheyenne, Wyoming where Bozo Walter Swain planned his bank robbery down to every last detail, or so he thought. He knew exactly where to hide the getaway car so no one would see it. He knew when the security guard took his break. He even knew which day the bank tellers had the most cash on hand for cashing checks. He had every detail covered–so why is he a Bozo? Because he forgot one small detail–he forgot to bring a slip of paper to write the hold up note on. So, he grabbed the first scrap of paper he found in his car, wrote the note on it, walked in and handed the note to the teller. She gave him the money, he walked out the door and drove away. He probably would have gotten away with it except for that small detail about the paper. You see, he wrote his hold up note on the back of one of his own checking account deposit slips!









Frustration (2)







full auto


Do you know what today is?  Or, in your case, what yesterday was?  Fuck!  It doesn’t really work, now!  But still….It’s Star Wars Day! 

Oh well, Maybe next year….


If one uses stimulus money to get baby chickens, does that mean we got money for nothing and our chicks for free?

Kids?  Google it!


Just watched my neighbor fill his canoe with ice cream and root beer.

Kinda strange but hey, whatever floats his boat.



And here’s a comment from Leah, directed to Stephanie…

Leah D

Thanks Stephanie for the time outline. My grandmother was born just before 1899 turned to 1900. When I watch movies, documentaries, etc. that deal with the time period from 1900 on, I always do this math thing, figuring out how old she was then and imagining how it impacted her life at that time.
This has inspired me to give a special birthday gift .. . create a timeline for them.

Awesome…and it sounds like a cool idea.


Smoking will kill you.
So will bacon.
But, smoking bacon will cure it.


HELP!  I have a cooking dilemma!  The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.” Now I can’t open it, as the door faces the wall!



And everyone thought he was missing because of heart surgery.

And since we are doing essay’s today…here’s another one…this one is economic in nature and is quite an interesting read.

Benefits vs. Costs and COVID-19

By Walter E.Williams April 21, 2020


One of the first lessons in an economics class is everything has a cost. That’s in stark contrast to lessons in the political arena where politicians talk about free stuff. In our personal lives, decision-making involves weighing costs against benefits. Businessmen make the same calculation if they want to stay in business. It’s an entirely different story for politicians running the government where any benefit, however minuscule, is often deemed to be worth any cost, however large.

Related to decision-making is the issue of being overly safe versus not safe enough. Sometimes, being as safe as one can be is worthless. A minor example: How many of us before driving our cars inspect the hydraulic brake system for damage? We’d be safer if we did, but most of us just assume everything is OK and get into our car and drive away. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that 40,000 Americans lose their lives each year because of highway fatalities. Virtually all those lives could be saved with a mandated 5 mph speed limit. Fortunately, we consider costs and rightfully conclude that saving those 40,000 lives aren’t worth the costs and inconvenience of a 5 mph mandate.

With the costs and benefits in mind, we might examine our government’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. The first thing to keep in mind about any crisis, be it war, natural disasters or pandemics, is we should keep markets open and private incentives strong. Markets solve problems because they provide the right incentives to use resources effectively. Federal, state and local governments have ordered an unprecedented and disastrous shutdown of much of the U.S. economy in an effort to slow the spread of the coronavirus.

There’s a strictly health-related downside to the shutdown of the U.S. economy ignored by our leadership that has been argued by epidemiologist Dr. Knut Wittkowski, formerly the head of the Department of Biostatistics, Epidemiology, and Research Design at Rockefeller University in New York City. Wittkowski argues that the lockdown prolongs the development of the “herd immunity,” which is our only weapon in “exterminating” the novel coronavirus — outside of a vaccine that’s going to optimistically take 18 months or more to produce. He says we should focus on shielding the elderly and people with comorbidities while allowing the young and healthy to associate with one another in order to build up immunities. Wittkowski says, “So, it’s very important to keep the schools open and kids mingling to spread the virus to get herd immunity as fast as possible, and then the elderly people, who should be separated, and the nursing homes should be closed during that time, can come back and meet their children and grandchildren after about 4 weeks when the virus has been exterminated.” Herd immunity, Wittkowski argues, would stop a “second wave” headed for the United States in the fall. Dr. David L. Katz, president of True Health Initiative and the founding director of the Yale-Griffin Prevention Research Center, shares Wittkowski’s vision. Writing in The New York Times, he argued that our fight against COVID-19 could be worse than the virus itself.

The bottom line is that costs can be concealed but not eliminated. Moreover, if people only look at the benefits from a particular course of action, they will do just about anything, because everything has a benefit. Political hustlers and demagogues love promising benefits when the costs can easily be concealed. By the way, the best time to be wrong and persist in being wrong is when the costs of being wrong are borne by others.

The absolute worst part of the COVID-19 pandemic, and possibly its most unrecoverable damage, is the massive power that Americans have given to their federal, state and local governments to regulate our lives in the name of protecting our health. Taking back that power should be the most urgent component of our recovery efforts. It’s going to be challenging; once a politician, and his bureaucracy, gains power, he will fight tooth and nail to keep it.

Walter E. Williams is a professor of economics at George Mason University

I did not add the highlights, I received it that way and presented it to you exactly the way I got it.  He does bring up some interesting points.  Thanks again to Lynn for sharing this with us.  And now a couple of more funnies before we call it a day.


I just found out I’m a clone…
I don’t know what to do with this information.  I’m beside myself.


Had a date last night.  I really enjoyed it… Tonight I will try a peach.



And with that little bit of a threat, let’s call it a day.  I will try to put something out tomorrow…and I was just informed that I have meetings all day on Wednesday as well…which means, that the next day that you guys MIGHT get an issue is Friday.  Might being the key word in that sentence.  But, we’ll see how it works out.  Remember the email address: impishdragon@gmail.com and remember to be nice to one another.  Love and laughter to you all until we meet again.
Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1724–Day 41

  1. Leah D. says:

    Where are the masks in the Pence visit pictures?

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