Good Morning Mom, Mothers, Sons and Daughters of Mothers, and all of you campers… although that last was unnecessary since everyone should fall into the other categories… I hope you are having a truly wonderful day.
So…tomorrow is Mother’s Day. And I want to take the opportunity to tell you all…
So, with that, let’s laugh a little with our moms…
I told my psychiatrist that I’ve been hearing voices.
He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.
And speaking of psychiatrists, I love reading the vanity cards at the end of Chuck Lorre’s shows like The Big Bang Theory or Young Sheldon. Here’s the latest:
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #264
A guy goes into a dentist’s office. The dentist says, “How can I help you?”
The guy says, “I’m a moth.”
The dentist says, “Excuse me?”
The guy says again, “I’m a moth.”
The dentist says, “I think maybe you should be seeing a psychiatrist, not a dentist.”
The guy says, “I saw a psychiatrist.”
The dentist says, “So what are you doing here?”
The guy says…
(SEE PUNCH LINE IN VANITY CARD #265 AT END OF TONIGHT’S EPISODE OF THE BIG BANG THEORY)
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #265
“Your light was on.”
Why is it called boob sweat and not humidititties?
“Mom Brain” is like dial up internet. There are 17 tabs open, 9 of them are not responding, there are thousands of pop ups and where the fuck is that music coming from?
Me: I can’t Salsa Dance.
Alcohol: Oh, yes you fucking can.
I’d like to think I will die a heroic death, but it’s more likely I’ll trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.
So I was just wondering…does 3 glasses of wine and 2 Bloody Marys equal 5 servings of fruits and vegetables?
I want to go jogging in the morning, but Proverbs 28:1 says, “The wicked runs when no one is chasing them.” So, there goes that.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and that all you mothers have a great day! I love you, mom!