Leprechaun Laughs # 372 for January 4th 2017


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So a brief explanation about todays coffee graphic is in order.

Way back on September 30th 2016 Impish sent me “The Pledge of Coffee Allegiance” along with the following comment:

I’m absolutely sure that you, with your incredible imagination and literary skills, can do something with that.

You are, after all, the coffee guru.

Well somehow or other despite my marking it for follow up (it was late in the day when I received it) the email wound up getting buried under a ton of other emails in my Inbox and frankly, totally forgotten about.

Last Wednesday I had started preforming my end of year computer maintenance- clearing out, cleaning up, organizing all in preparation for my semi annual total hard drive back up. While I was cleaning out and clearing up my Inbox I rediscovered the Pledge. Shortly thereafter I came across the photo you’ll find the Pledge now married to and realized they were a perfect match. I took it as a sign and stopped what I was doing to complete the graphic which you’ll see below.

I think it dovetails nicely with our “Death Before Dishonor, Nothing Before Coffee” Motto.

Blackbird

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Dasvidaniya Obama!

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Just under 3 weeks! I can’t wait! Wonder if he’ll bow to Trump too?

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Thanks to USPS we had a late Christmas package from my family stolen from us.

We couldn’t track it because they stopped scanning them “to concentrate on delivering them all by Christmas”.  We won’t even get into the fact that the ‘tracking number’ which the sending family member asked the postal employee to circle for her on the receipt was in fact the transaction number and totally worthless for tracking.

Then they dropped it at 7:30 Am on Tuesday morning after Christmas and couldn’t be bothered to ring the door bell. We didn’t find out about it until New Years Day so basically we’re screwed and some ghetto gangster SOB is enjoying our presents.

And USPS wonders why they are going out of business!

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Seems it’s forever making me say things I didn’t Nintendo!

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Well I guess there ARE times when a good pizza and a 6 pack will cure a world of ills!

Only a farm kid would see it this way!

When you’re from the farm, your perception is a little bit different. A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer.

“No, they went to town.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy says, “I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably. “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”.

The boy thought for a moment, then says, “You’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

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This Woman Is Packing Some Serious Heat!

I’m in serious lust right now!

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Nope. No lust with these women, unless it’s lust for some serious cover!

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In Memory of Carrie Fisher- The Force was strong with her.

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cooking 

I’ll admit the first one is a wee bit late…for some of you. Some others whom I will not call out by name (Impish and Ginny pay attention!) look about ready for this now. That’s the problem you encounter with posting only once a week around holidays. Anyway you’ll have it handy for the next time you tie 3 or 4 on or attempt to drink a pool of Peachcombers by yourself.

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Total Time:
2 hr. 50 min
Prep:
1 hr. 40 min
Cook:
1 hr. 10 min
Yield:
8 servings
Level:
Easy

 

 

 

 

 

Ingredients

4 strips bacon, chopped
1 cup finely chopped pork loin
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 1/2 cups crushed tomatoes
1/2 cup finely chopped mushrooms
2 tablespoons shredded celery root
4 stalks celery, chopped
2 medium carrots, peeled and chopped
Salt and black pepper
3 cups cubed potatoes
1/2 cup chopped Polish sausage
2 tablespoons finely chopped leek
1 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon bay leaves
1 teaspoon Hungarian paprika
1 cup diced pickles
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
3 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
1 cup heavy cream

Directions

Fill a soup pot with 8 cups water set on medium-high heat.
In a pan, fry the chopped bacon. When it is done, take out and put into the water in the soup pot.
In the drippings of the bacon, fry the pork loin and then the onions. When brown, put them into the soup pot and bring to a boil. Add the crushed tomatoes, mushrooms, celery root, celery, carrots and some salt and cook for 15 minutes.
Next, add the potatoes, sausage, leeks, allspice, bay leaves Hungarian paprika and cook for another 15 minutes.
Add the pickles, garlic and seasoning if using, and let boil for 10 minutes. Add the dill and heavy cream and season with salt and pepper.

Now I’ll admit I have not tried this one but my German and Polish friends all swear by it. We Irish have… other ways of dealing with hangovers…

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Roasted Garlic Clove Chicken

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Ingredients

8 chicken thighs
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 head garlic, separated into whole cloves, papery skin removed (about 20 cloves)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
2 teaspoons herbes de Provence
1 teaspoon flour
1/4 cup chicken stock
1/2 lemon, juiced
Bread, for serving

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Rinse and pat dry the chicken. Salt and pepper liberally and allow to temper on a cutting board while you prepare the garlic. In a large ovenproof sauté pan over medium heat, cook the whole garlic cloves in olive oil and butter, stirring occasionally, until lightly golden, about 10 minutes. Remove the garlic from the pan and set aside. Increase the heat to medium high and brown the chicken skin-side down until the skin is golden and crispy, about 5 minutes. Turn the chicken over, sprinkle on herbes de Provence. Add the garlic back to the pan and place hot pan in oven. Bake the chicken until cooked through, about 25 minutes. Once the chicken is done, remove chicken thighs and garlic to a platter. Place the pan over medium-high heat and sprinkle the drippings with flour and stir to incorporate. Deglaze the pan with the stock and lemon juice. Pour the sauce over the chicken on the platter and serve with bread for sauce-mopping and garlic-spreading.

 

Pan Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon

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Ingredients

4 strips thick-cut bacon
2 tablespoons butter
1 pound Brussels sprouts, halved
1/2 large onion, chopped
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Cook bacon in a large skillet over medium-high heat until crispy. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate, then roughly chop. In same pan with bacon fat, melt butter over high heat. Add onions and Brussels Sprouts and cook, stirring occasionally, until sprouts are golden brown, 8 to 10 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, to taste, and toss bacon back into pan. Serve immediately.

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1. ARBITRATOR – A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
2. BERNADETTE – The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE – What a crook sees through. 
4. AVOIDABLE – What a bullfighter tries to do.
5. COUNTERFEITER – Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
6. LEFT BANK – What the bank robbers did when their bag
was full of money.
7. HEROES -What a man in a boat does.
8. PARASITES – What you see from the Eiffel Tower.
9. PARADOX – Two physicians.
10. PHARMACIST – A helper on a farm.
11. RELIEF – What trees do in the spring. 
12. RUBBERNECK – What you do to relax your wife. 
13. SELFISH – What the owner of a seafood store does.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     14. SUDAFED – Brought litigation against a government official.

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Wedding Ceremony

At a wedding , the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. It was their time to stand up and talk, or forever hold their peace.

The moment of utter silence was broken by a young beautiful blonde woman carrying a child. She started walking toward the pastor slowly.

Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The groomsmen started giving each other looks and wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”

The blonde woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”

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Marketing Explained

People often ask for a simple explanation of “Marketing.”
Well, here it is:

* You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to
him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Direct Marketing.

* You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says,
“She’s fantastic in bed.”
That’s Advertising.

* You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic
in bed.”
That’s Telemarketing.

* You see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up
to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to
straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm,
and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”
That’s Public Relations.

* You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and
says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”
That’s Brand Recognition.

*You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you
talk him into going home with your friend.
That’s a Sales Rep.

* Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you.
That’s Tech Support.

* You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be
handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto
the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of
your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!”
That’s Facebook (Social Media).

* You are at a party; this attractive “older” gentleman walks up to you and
grabs your ass.
That’s Donald Trump.

* You didn’t mind it, but twenty years later your attorney decides
you were offended and you are awarded a settlement.
That’s America !

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It would be really funny it it was the street sign on the local lovers lane!

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Triplet nearly sky clad Redheads? Oh Lord I hope it’s me they’re summoning!

NO Impish! You can’t ‘just tag along’ if they…

OH BEGORRAH! THEY ARE SUMMONING ME!

Got to go! Catch  ya next time!

Coming lasses!

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Irish Flag Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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5 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 372 for January 4th 2017

  1. Christopher Brugman says:

    Best ever Hangover Cure; MENUDO!!!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Used to be a soup called ‘Pepper Pot’ when I was growing up but had to be the homemade stuff not the stuff in the can from Campbells.

      Both contain the same key ingredient, Tripe which is getting harder and harder to find unless you have a real good relationship with
      your butcher. Even then those in your house and any apartment immediately adjacent to yours will complain about the smell of the Tripe’s
      preperation.

  2. Maggie Culligan says:

    Love this issue,, still laughing. BTW Impihs does not want me running through his mind naked it would scare the H outa him.
    Maggie

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      Impish runs through his own mind naked and that scares the hell out of everyone including Impish!

  3. Ginny says:

    WOW….what a great issue, you deserve many bows and applauds. Loved the Pledge Allegiance to coffee….that’s a keeper. The garlic clove chicken recipe will ,make Paulk9 very happy. hangover soup looks good too. You gave me smiles and laughs with the jokes.. Yes, I do believe the three redheads belong to you….

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