Well my cyber snitches tell me you in the more Northern parts of New England have had your first frost. That means the leaves should be falling rapidly now as it’s already peak season over most of New England.

I have to be like this otherwise legal types start using bad words like ‘premeditated’ and ‘conspiracy’ with regards to me.

Be what the rest of us are Impish, be afraid…very afraid. Remember they are going to pick your ‘retirement home’.

Autumn in New England

Genuine 1964 WD-40 label

The Top 5 Songs by Aging Rock Stars

Bruce Springsteen is 67, Mick Jagger is 73,
Paul McCartney is 74, Ringo Starr is 76,
Little Richard is 83 and Chuck Berry is 89.

1. Eric Clapton: “Rogaine”
2. Led Zeppelin: “Stairlift to Heaven”
3. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: “Arrhythmia Is Gonna Get You”
4. Willie Nelson: “On the John Again”

And the Number One Song by an Aging Rock Star…

1. The Who: “Bingo Wizard”

Ah you’ve just got to love Mrs. Dragon. Never at a lost for a witty comeback!

5 Snack Mixes to Bring to Your Next Tailgate

Tailgate, Football Party, Movie Night (“Netflix & Chill” is seriously underrated especially when teamed up with blanket cuddle and fireplace) or trail/camping/school lunch snack these variations of the standard party mix are sure to be a hit.

Ordering pizza delivery to your parking spot might be tricky, so Katie Lee’s Pizza Party Mix is the next-best thing. Baked Parmesan cheese crackers and pepperoni slices are the salty combination you’ll be craving. We promise you’ll need a second helping.

Total Time:  1 hr. 30 min
Prep: 10 min
Inactive: 15 min
Cook: 1 hr. 5 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

3 cups rice cereal squares
3 cups corn cereal squares
3 cups wheat cereal squares
1 cup Parmesan or white Cheddar cheese crackers
1 cup pretzel sticks
2 ounces small pepperoni slices
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon oregano
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan

Directions

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment.
In a large bowl, mix together the rice, corn and wheat cereal squares, cheese crackers, pretzel sticks and pepperoni slices.

Melt the butter a small pot over medium heat. Whisk in the tomato paste, Worcestershire, garlic salt, oregano, garlic powder and onion powder. Pour the mixture into the bowl with the dry ingredients and gently stir until everything is coated. Spread the mixture evenly on the prepared baking sheets.

Bake for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes (the pepperoni will get slightly crunchy). Let cool, then pour into a serving bowl and gently toss with the Parmesan. Serve at room temperature.

I like using the mini pepperoni (slices are about the diameter of a hot dog) for this as its more in keeping with the size of the other ingredients. I also recommend using the turkey kind as its substantially less greasy which translates in this case to less messy hands.

Total Time: 40 min
Prep: 20 min
Cook: 20 min
Yield: 10 cups
Level: Easy

Ingredients

3 cups crisp rice cereal, such as Rice Chex (about 3 ounces)
3 cups dried snap peas (about 3 ounces)
2 cups crunchy chow mein noodles (about 4 ounces)
1 1/2 cups roasted and salted almonds (about 7 ounces)
1 1/2 cups sesame sticks (about 4 ounces)
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
2 cloves garlic, finely grated
1/2 teaspoon Chinese five-spice
Pinch red pepper flakes
Kosher salt
1 1/2 cups wasabi peas (about 6 ounces)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Toss the rice cereal, snap peas, chow mein noodles, almonds and sesame sticks together in a large bowl. Whisk the butter, soy sauce, brown sugar, vinegar, garlic, five-spice, pepper flakes and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a separate bowl.

Pour the sauce over the snack mix and toss to coat well. Spread out on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until the mix is toasted and almost completely dry, 16 to 18 minutes, tossing about halfway through.

Remove from the oven and stir in the wasabi peas. Let cool completely, and then store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Chili-Garlic Snack Mix

This mix has all your kid’s favorites. (Think pretzels, Cheez-It crackers and Chex Mix.) You’ll coat them in a spicy chili-garlic butter and bake until crisp. The mix stays fresh in an airtight container for up to five days, so you can even make it ahead of time!

Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 15 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

2 tablespoons popcorn kernels
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 cups Chex (or other cereal squares)
2 cups Cheez-It crackers (or other mini cheddar crackers)
1 cup mini pretzel twists
1 cup smoked almonds
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Kosher salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Heat 3 popcorn kernels and the vegetable oil in a large saucepan over medium heat until 1 kernel pops; add the remaining kernels, cover and cook, shaking the pan occasionally, until the popping subsides. Remove from the heat and transfer to a large bowl.

Add the cereal, crackers, pretzels and almonds; toss to combine. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir in the chili powder, paprika and garlic powder. Drizzle over the popcorn mixture and toss with a rubber spatula to coat; season with salt.

Spread the snack mix on the prepared baking sheet. Bake, stirring once or twice, until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes. Let cool completely. Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days.

Strawberry-Pretzel Snack Mix

Sweet cereal, yogurt-covered pretzels and freeze-dried strawberries are balanced out with salty pretzel sticks and the warming flavors of brown sugar and cinnamon. Bring a tub to your next tailgate and pack the leftovers for school lunch — if you even have any!

Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 15 min
Yield: 10 cups
Level: Easy

Ingredients

4 cups graham-flavored cereal
4 cups pretzel sticks, slightly broken
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cups yogurt-covered pretzels, broken into pieces
2 cups freeze-dried strawberries

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Toss the graham cereal and pretzel sticks together in a large bowl. Whisk the butter, brown sugar, vanilla and cinnamon in a separate bowl. Pour the sauce over the snack mix and toss to coat well. Spread out on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until the mix is toasted and almost completely dry, 10 to 15 minutes, tossing about halfway through.

Remove from the oven and let cool completely. Toss in the yogurt-covered pretzels and strawberries. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Brace yourselves ladies, I know the way to your hearts is through your sweet tooth so this one is aimed at you all. Someone lower Ginny’s chair to the supine position please.

Praline-Chocolate Snack Mix

You’ll find all kinds of flavor profiles in this salty, sweet and creamy snack mix. Cocoa Puffs add a chocolaty crunch your tailgating guests will love. Bake this mix the night before and pack it into bags once it’s cooled and you’ll be ready for game time.

Total Time: 40 min
Prep: 15 min
Cook: 25 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

1 cup pecans, roughly chopped
2 cups Chex (or other cereal squares)
1 cup Cheerios (or other toasted oat cereal)
1 cup Cocoa Puffs (or other chocolate puffed cereal)
1 cup pretzel sticks
2 tablespoons popcorn kernels
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into pieces
3 tablespoons molasses
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
2 tablespoons heavy cream
Kosher salt
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Lightly toast the pecans in a large saucepan over medium heat, about 5 minutes; transfer to a large bowl. Add the cereals and pretzels to the bowl and set aside.
Wipe out the saucepan. Add 3 popcorn kernels and the vegetable oil and heat over medium heat until 1 kernel pops; add the remaining kernels, cover and cook, shaking the pan occasionally, until the popping subsides. Remove from the heat and add to the cereal mixture; toss to combine.

Combine the butter, molasses, corn syrup, heavy cream and a pinch of salt in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Cook, stirring, until the mixture is thick and pulls away from the side of the pan, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Once the mixture stops bubbling, stir in the vanilla. Pour over the cereal-popcorn mixture, season with salt and toss with a rubber spatula to coat.

Spread the snack mix on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until the popcorn is crisp, about 15 minutes (the praline sauce will still be soft). Remove from the oven and use a flat metal spatula to flip the mix in large sections. Let cool completely. (The snack mix will harden as it cools.) Sprinkle with the confectioners’ sugar and gently toss to coat. Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days. [Like it’s really going to last 5 days!]

Ok as you know no sooner does one issue post then I am starting the next issue. Sometimes that’s actual writing other times that’s just collecting things under the issue banner. I wrote the following thoughts last Friday morning after two complete days of silence from a certain dragon on the subject of a certain recipe:

Ok last week I did Lasagna Soup as you may recall,  While Ginny practically had to wear a Depends around her neck all week as a drool bib, the one I was really concerned over, given his Lasagna devotion makes Garfield look ambivalent about the dish, Impish never made so much as a peep about it.

This. Isn’t. Acceptable.

THEREFORE: Out comes another secret Lasagna dish I have been hiding away, Breakfast Lasagna!

I. Will. Break. Him! Brace Yourselves!

You Patrons in the front row, there are plastic ponchos in the pocket on the side of your chairs I strongly urge donning them now. Also there is plastic sheeting to be held up as if this was a Gallagher concert when the time comes.

Post writing that Impish called me and being the occasionally nice friend to him that I am I gave him a heads up I was miffed over his silence on the Lasagna Soup recipe. His response was something to the effect that he didn’t feel a couple of lines buried in the comments section which very few people actually read anyway would do justice to the recipe or his feeling about it.

He stated he was addressing it at some length in his issue. I forewarned him that I already had retribution for his silence locked, loaded and prepared to fire. His retort was ‘bring on the bus I can take it. I’m a DRAGON, we fear nothing.’ 

Very quietly and clearly I said two words, ‘Breakfast. Lasagna.’ A loud thud was heard over the phone line followed by klaxons warning of an excessive drooling event and the need for HAZMAT spill booms and dams needing to be deployed for containment. (I will say this much for dragon drool it resurfaces the stonework floors nicely and cleans the hell out of the grout!) Once Impish was able to mumble again (4 very large sponges were stuffed in his cheeks to increase his retention of drool) he began begging me not to pull the recipe even if his praise of Lasagna Soup was found to be adequate by me.

SO, more out of a need to obtain peace and quiet, regain control of my inbox and return things to some semblance of what passes for normalcy around here, I give you Breakfast Lasagna.

Front row Patrons, now would be an excellent time to hurriedly don those ponchos and deploy that plastic sheeting!

Sausage Gravy Breakfast Lasagna

Total Time: 10 hr. 30 min
Prep: 30 min
Inactive: 8 hr. 35 min
Cook: 1 hr. 25 min
Yield: 8 to 10 servings
Level: Easy

Ingredients

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 ounces lasagna noodles (about 12)
3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for tossing and greasing the baking dish
2 pounds bulk breakfast sausage, thawed
1 bunch scallions, whites cut into 1/2-inch pieces and greens thinly sliced
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups whole milk
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 cups shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese
8 ounces white Cheddar, shredded
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Two 10-ounce packages frozen chopped spinach, thawed and excess liquid squeezed out
1/4 cup fresh parsley leaves, chopped

Directions

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the noodles, and cook according to the package directions. Strain into a colander, and toss with some oil. Drape the noodles over and around the side of the colander to cool.

Meanwhile, heat 3 tablespoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the sausage and scallion whites, and cook, stirring and breaking the meat up into bite-size pieces (not crumbs), until the sausage is browned and cooked through, about 8 minutes. Sprinkle the flour over the cooked sausage, and stir until it is completely absorbed. Add 2 cups milk, and stir until it starts to thicken. Stir in the remaining 2 cups milk, bring to a simmer and stir until the sauce is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 2 minutes. Stir in 2 teaspoons salt, 1 1/2 teaspoons pepper and the nutmeg. Remove the sauce from the heat, and let cool.

Mix together the mozzarella, Cheddar and Parmesan in a medium bowl.

Oil a 9- by 13-inch baking dish. Spread about 4 tablespoons of the sauce (without big pieces of sausage) over the bottom. Arrange 4 slightly overlapping noodles to fully cover the bottom of the dish. Spread 1/3 of the remaining sauce over the noodles. Spread 1/2 the spinach in an even layer. Sprinkle with about 1/3 of the scallion greens, 1/4 teaspoon salt, a few grinds of pepper and 1/3 of the cheese mixture. Continue layering with 4 more noodles, 1/2 of the remaining sauce, the remaining spinach, 1/2 of the remaining scallion greens, 1/4 teaspoon salt, a few grinds of pepper and 1/2 of the remaining cheese. Finish the lasagna with the remaining noodles, sauce and cheese. Cover the top with plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. Do the same with the remaining scallion greens.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Remove the plastic wrap from the baking dish, and cover with foil. Bake until the cheese is melted and bubbly, about 45 minutes. Uncover the dish, and continue to bake until the lasagna is slightly browned, 10 to 15 minutes. Top with the remaining scallions, the parsley and a sprinkle of black pepper. Let sit for at least 15 minutes, then slice and serve.

A few words about the sausage you use for this recipe:

Don’t skimp and don’t cheap out. The better the sausage the better this dish. It really can make or break it. I use the in store made savory breakfast sausage of a place called Sprout’s. If there is one near you and you’ve not tried their sausage I suggest you do. It’s all natural and has not preservatives additives or nitrates. If I cannot get that I use Jimmy Dean. If I can’t get either of those I don’t make it period.

Consider using one pork and one turkey breakfast sausage. This reduced the amount of grease and fat considerably. If you need a little more fat for the Roux you can always use a pat of butter or a bit of bacon drippings.

Finally, if I’m making this for a brunch, I like adding about 8 oz. (uncooked measure) of cooked chopped mushroom to the sausage mixture. Cook them separately so they don’t suck up all the grease and fat you need to make the Roux. I season them with just a little salt, black pepper and poultry seasoning. You can use garlic powder if you’d like but many people don’t want to taste garlic in their breakfast. (Unless they’re Italian or from Jersey).

There. Now that’s Lasagna 2 weeks in a row and for both of the other 2 meals a day its not usually served are. Let’s see Impish stand up to that!

We out! (Drops large wooden spoon and leaves kitchen)

New England Fall Foliage 2015

SURE! and maybe I’ll see some…(pauses as he runs to look out window at the sky) … Nope! No Airborne Bovines. Didn’t really expect any just like I don’t expect Liberals to suddenly start thinking, much less thinking logically.

Walken- Busey 2016

because…

‘MERICA NEEDS MORE COW BELL!