Leprechaun Laughs # 340 for Wednesday 4/27/2016


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Originally when I crafted this opening banner I was talking about Tax Season and my busy time of the year working. I had planned on a well deserved glass of a new (to me) Irish Whiskey that Molly had discovered as well as what Impish would term a ‘smoky treat’ while lounging in comfort on my patio and reading solely for enjoyment.

Yeah, right. It wound up being Memorial Day Weekend 2015 all over again plus some. I can only imagine what it would have been like were it not for the drainage improvements made here during the last year. MY guess- I’d be writing this from some Red Cross supplied motel room.

Rain fell in two main waves: the first storm system paused over the area late on April 17, and the second moved slowly across the region early on April 18. For storms like this one to form, conditions in the atmosphere have to come together in just the right way. A bubble of high pressure blocked the eastward advance of a low pressure system and caused storm systems to stall. Fed by moisture moving north from the Gulf of Mexico, thunderstorms grew over Texas and delivered the intense rainfall.

On April 18, a record was set at George Bush Intercontinental Airport—Houston’s official observation site since 1969. According to the National Weather Service, ground-based measurements indicate that 9.92 inches fell on that day, breaking the record of 8.16 inches set in 1976. It also made April 2016 the wettest April ever measured at that site.

And yet its still not over.

Its over a week later and everything still isn’t finally over. As I write this on Tuesday afternoon, we’re expecting more rain in the form of Thunder Storms tonight and into the day tomorrow with no clear indication at present of how much we can expect to receive. Rain and showers have been on our forecast at least every other days since. On average we receive and 1/8th to 1/4 inch with each successive rain fall.

Early the morning of the 18th we began to see wet carpet in our home office which I now share with Molly as her studies are demanding a more formal setting for her to work in as opposed to her preferred Lap top and lazy boy with cat on her thigh location for studying. Anything that could be damaged by water was moved out or moved to higher ground atop furniture in the room. Then at approximately 4 Am we saw (or actually couldn’t see because the power went out) the flooding start to show in Molly’s bathroom as well.

Brief power outages of up to an hour are not a rare occurrence in our neck of the woods, however the 30 hours sans power was a rare occurrence. It was the longest we’ve been with out power since the 62 hours we went without during Hurricane Ike. We lost everything in the freezer (which was dead full) and refrigerator.

Wet feet, cold showers,  no hot meals from lack of power and already being in a run down condition meant that both Molly and I came down with what Molly’s Doctor said was a severe cold and my called a slight upper respiratory infection. Remember our office flooded Monday at 4Am; due to the lack of power and difficulty getting around (The Mayor had placed a Bann on being on streets unless it was absolutely necessary and Molly stayed home Monday as getting to work for her was a gamble due to rising flood waters) we saw no one from property management until later in the afternoon Tuesday when the came thru to do a damage assessment  and it was late Wednesday before we got our carpet dried out.

Mean time my condition despite medication continued to worsen until my Doctor and Molly in a combine front gave me the ultimatum of complete bed rest or hospitalization. Honestly I’m so sick of being sick and run down that I’ve ordered a box of Irish Flu shots:

Irish Flu Shot

ANYWAYS- From Wednesday afternoon  until  today (Tuesday the 26th) I was on complete bed rest (not more than 4 hours in 24 out of bed), which at first came easy.

However the cold/respiratory infection eventually made sleeping difficult and after a while even the most perfect and comfortable of beds becomes its own torture to your back and hips.

As of today however I’m allowed to be up for up to 12 hours as long as I’m not over taxing myself, which trust me is really easy to do. Clearing out the dish drainer while getting some lunch led to 2 hours resting on the couch with my eyes closed more than open reading.

Speaking of taxing myself, enough of my talking lets get this issue started before it’s any later shall we?

TEam USa Lets Roll

!cid_87A1E882-1FB7-4145-850C-04D6D5AC5D17

!cid_2A14A399-5837-419A-BCD1-D3EFEDB2DED8

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Greenspoint area which they had to evacuate.

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Not sure where this one was taken but a lot of people used their boats to help rescue the stranded.

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This is down near Rice University which was forced to cancel classes for 2 days. Though the parking lot appears flooded to a depth of about 2 feet here thankfully for these kids the Drive Thru is apparently still open.

Stevie Ray Vaughan Texas Flood Live!

 

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BURKAS IN SOUTH TEXAS

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can’t buy on ebay any more) and peeled the NRA sticker off the front window.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on ebay) and ran it up the flag pole

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7. I’ve NEVER felt safer and I’m saving $69.95 a month that ADT used to charge me.

Plus, I bought burkas for Molly and I to wear when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of the way and security can’t pat us down.

Hot Damn — Safe at last — Ain’t America great or what?

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BReaking News Special Announcement

LL PSA Banner

RECALL: Takata Airbags, Everything You Need to Know Including Full List of Affected Vehicles

A massive nationwide airbag recall impacts U. S. vehicles.

Takata air bags installed in tens of millions of U.S. vehicles are subject to recall due to a safety defect that may cause their inflators to explode and cause serious injuries or deaths. If your car or truck is included in this list of affected vehicles below, contact your dealer for the appropriate repair. This site will be updated as necessary to ensure that affected vehicle owners are informed.

The head of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says more data is needed before a massive recall of Takata airbags is expanded.

Earlier, NHTSA officials had stated that an additional 85 million bags may need to be recalled. More than million vehicles have already been recalled due to faulty Takata airbags.

Everything you need to know. Includes list of affected models.
http://www.emergencyemail.org/newsemergency/anmviewer.asp?a=5479&z=62

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Little Thelma comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine’s Day.

“Since Valentine’s Day is for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” she asks, “Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?

Thelma’s father thinks a bit then says “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”

“The whole Isis group,” she says.

“Why them,” her father asks in shock?

“Well,” she says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe  we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they’d love everyone a lot. And then they’d start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn’t hate anyone anymore.”

Her father’s heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. “Thelma, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard. ”

“I know,” Thelma says, “and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit out of them.” [Can’t help but love a kid with a firm grasp of strategy and tactics!]

 

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Musical Highway

 

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. . . Complete and Finished . . .

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted over 5 minutes.

The final question was: How do you explain the difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand? Some people say there is NO difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Here is his astute answer: “When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. When you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED and when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!!!

He won a trip around the world and a case of 25 year old Scotch!

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SCREW the Syrians! What have they ever done for the US except be Terrorists and harbor anti US sentiment ? Give the homes to our homeless Vets and let the Syrians have the homeless Vet’s boxes and park benches!

I’m the Lethal Leprechaun and I didn’t just approve this message, I wrote the bloody message!

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http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/arthur-anderson-voice-lucky-charms-leprechaun-dead-n555301

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Many years ago during his first marriage days, Impish accidentally overturned his golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out: “Are you okay? What’s your name?”

“It’s Impish, and I’m okay, thanks,” he replied as he pulled himself out of the twisted cart.

“Impish,” she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) “forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I’ll help you get the cart up later.”

“That’s mighty nice of you,” he answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”

“Oh, come on now,” Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive … Impish was well…Impish. “Well okay,” he finally agreed but thought to himself, “my wife won’t like it.”

After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, Impish thanked Elizabeth. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d best go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”

“Still under the cart, I guess.”

wasting-time

Golf Trick Shots | Dude Perfect

Well I think that’s about my limit for this for this week. I’ve just enough time for a quick nap before Molly gets home so I can spend a little time with her. Besides, I’m being threatened by Ninja Kitties:

get treats or else

claddah closing

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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6 Responses to Leprechaun Laughs # 340 for Wednesday 4/27/2016

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    This has sort of happened here once before in recent memory though it was about 3 or 4 months before I arrived. They called that event Hurricane Andrew.
    You’re right however this is worse than last years Memorial Day deluge, that only lasted the 2 days.

  2. Hank says:

    The link for Takata airbags takes me the an article about IRS scam

    • Lethal Leprechaun says:

      So I see. I’ll try not to use links to that news feed in the future. Mean time Google is your friend. Search Takata and that’s practicality all the returns on the first page is the recall.

  3. Ginny says:

    I feel so bad to hear all you have been through. The flooding was absolutely a nightmare in real
    time. Your story and pictures made us all realize the hell you have gone through. Do listen to the Doctor and Molly….even the STRONG have their limits. Hey, maybe you can take over for the voice of Lucky Charms…forget the taxes you do for others along with your security business.
    Loved the musical highway video…and the parade of “oldie” cars from my youth. Great job on your issue…but don’t over do things. Take care we all need our Leprechaun!

    • Lethal Leprechaun says:

      We lost power at 04:50 on Wednesday for another 5 hours after half an hour of it going out and coming back on every 5 to 10 minutes a mid T-storms and multiple Tornado Warnings. I can’t complain too much about this outage as their repair time estimate said 6:45 PM.

      We’ve gotten about 3\4″ more rain since Tuesday, the bayous remain very high as they try to drain some of the 2 flood control dams to alleviate flooding still present in some neighborhoods around the 2 dams as well as in anticipation of more rain to come.

      On top of this early evening on Friday will see the return of Tstorms and rain for us through some time Sunday with the worst coming midday till late Saturday.

      • Ginny says:

        Have you ever experienced this before? I remember recent times in the past but never to this extent. Hope it doesn’t cause flooding in your home and no more loss of power. Just what you need feeling like you do.

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