Good Morning Campers,
It’s Friday, it’s late and I have to work in the morning. I know, it sounds like the story of my life.
Lots of stuff happened this week. Late breaking was of course the death of Prince at the age of 57. The last thing I heard was that they had done an autopsy on him and were still going over the results. Foul play? Who knows. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me.
Mass shootings, Houston under water, poor Lethal not only not feeling well, but preparing for the flood waters and losing power for close to a day and a half all together.
It’s been crazy. Truly a crazy week.
We really need to laugh.
In a bad way.
Oh Lord, I’ve been there so often! As we get older we … um … we … er …. what was I saying?
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the Hardware Store and bought a bucket, and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane .
The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’
The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket.
Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?’
‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.’
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?’
The farmer said, ‘Holy Smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’
The old lady replied, ‘Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens.
Fair warning has been given!
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter’s strange eating habits. “All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?”
“Eventually” said the doctor, “she will rise and shine!”
K2 sent me a funny little piece that partly said that it is illegal to cry on the stand (in court) in Los Angeles. I thought that was a bit odd, so I wasn’t going to post it here until I at least did a cursory check on line. And I found this great article on the Los Angeles DUI Lawyer web page.
7 Laws You Didn’t Know You Were Breaking
So many different ways I could humorously describe this picture…so many ways that would get me in deep trouble with Ginny or Diaman…I’ll just let it go.
ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.
BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and takes it back when it starts to rain.
Budget: A method of worrying before you spend as well as afterward.
CONSULTANT: Someone who uses your wife’s watch, tells you the time, and then charges you for it.
Critic: A legless man who teaches running.
DANCING: The vertical frustration of a horizontal desire.
DENTIST: A magician who puts metal into your mouth, and pulls coins out of your pocket.
DIPLOMAT: Someone who tells you to go to hell in a way which makes you eager to start the journey.
Disarmament: An agreement between nations to scuttle all weapons that are obsolete.
ECONOMIST: An expert who will know tomorrow why that which he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
FRIEND: Definition of a person of the opposite sex who has that “Je ne sais quoi” which eliminates any desire to ever try and sleep with them..
HEADACHE: Method of contraception most widely used by women.
IMPATIENCE: Waiting in a hurry.
INTELLECTUAL: Someone capable of thinking for more than 2 hours about something other than sex.
Metallurgist: Someone who is allergic to iron.
Insurance: Paying for catastrophes on the installment plan.
Life Insurance; A contract that keeps you poor so you can die rich.
LOVE: Four-letter word, two vowels, two consonants and two idiots.
Pediatricians: Men of little patients
PESSIMIST: Optimist with experience
PITIFUL: Someone with an erection who walks into a wall and breaks his nose.
PROGRAMMER: Someone who fixes a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
PRIEST: Someone addressed by everyone as “Father” except his children who call him “uncle”.
PSYCHOLOGIST: Someone who looks at everyone else when an attractive woman enters the room.
TONGUE: Sexual organ which some degenerates use for the purpose of speech.
MONOGAMY: Repressed polygamy.
NANOSECOND: Fraction of time which occurs between the lights turning green and the car behind honking its horn.
NYMPHOMANIAC: Term applied by men to any woman who wants sex more than he does.
TEAMWORK: The possibility of putting the blame on others.
EASY: Term applied to any woman with the sexual morals of a man.
ETERNITY: Period of time which lasts from when you finished until when you leave her in her house.
HARDWARE: The part of the computer which you kick when the software malfunctions.
INTERVIEW: That which can be seen between the interviewee’s legs.
INDIFFERENCE: Attitude adopted by a woman towards a man in whom she has no interest; interpreted by the man as “playing hard to get”.
STATISTICIAN: Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an engineer.
I’m not saying that the last cartoon is based off of something that Lethal Leprechaun once did, but …. if the shoe fits…
You guys know that I’ve complained many, many times about how much I hate flying commercial airlines. And that I’ve been spoiled by my many years of flying on military aircraft, I found this graphic at our dear friends at Make Use Of and I have to tell you, I meet every single one of these characters at the airport every time I fly.
The ones that bother me the most are the ones that block the main walk ways. Really, Sunshine? That’s where you’re going to have the long lost reunion with your dearest friend? Same thing in the grocery store. Two ladies with their carts parked side-by-side gabbing away, oblivious to the twenty-seven cart back up behind them.
It seems that every week there are wonderful videos submitted by the best Campers in the world. Dragon Laff Campers! So, let’s jump right in with these strange cars.
And how about this behind the scenes look at some of our favorite commercial personalities:
And then there is this great video of impatient dogs:
One hundred drones with a live orchestra at an airport at night…oh…and did I mention…it’s a world record breaker? You gotta see this one
So, every time I think I’m done with showing you guys videos, another one comes along that I get excited about. With this one, I want you to see it because I WANT ONE!!
It looks like a blue high top sneaker with wheels
Got a great, personal email from my dad…Papa Dragon Most Senior…I love it when I hear from my dad! He always sends such loving, caring emails. Let’s see what this one has to say…
Female aliens are invading the earth and kidnapping sexy, good looking men, who are good golfers.
You, personally, are not in any danger.
I just emailed you to say goodbye.
Wow! Didn’t I tell you what great emails he …. wait … what?
Here’s a great puzzle from Ginny…
If you think you’ve got it, or you give up, scroll down for the answer…but think outside the box before you give in.
I know, right? How many of you who didn’t get the right answer actually learned to drive on a stick….
I’m going with Shatner on this one.
So, that’s how he planned on getting those 10,000 Syrian refugees here.
No shit! You don’t think we could make an impression if we wanted to? Try taking them away from us and you’ll see EXACTLY what it looks like.
No shit!!! What in the HELL were we thinking!?!
This is always my favorite part…
So, that’s all there is this week. I hope you enjoyed the issue. Until next time.